Writing Inner Thoughts

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  • Writing Inner Thoughts

    Since we've seen other "do not do this" rules get debunked, I'm interested in whether or not this has gained widespread acceptance. Here's an example:

    Code:
    Margaret pauses. Seeming afraid for the first time. Some
    secrets perhaps best left untold.
    The above comes from a produced screenplay with similar passages throughout. I can see how it can give the actors an image in their head to work with, but wasn't this suppose to be high on the list of no-no's?
    what the head makes cloudy the heart makes very clear

  • #2
    Re: Writing Inner Thoughts

    Occasionally, or rarely, every recommended convention is deviated from in a produced script somewhere at some time. It's generally not a good idea to focus on them as examples that prove or disprove something because they are often in the context of excellent work from a writer who is in complete control of their story.

    You are also talking about something that happens in degrees, not absolutes - to some degree many successful scriptwriters use "unfilmables" to add depth or nuance to a character or scene, or to give an actor further insight into a character's psychology to help add depth to a performance.

    This, too, has been discussed at length recently. It's only on the ethereal list of no-nos because it's a device which is easy to misuse or overuse in the wrongs hands. I'd even go so far as to suggest that if you need to ask whether or not it's okay to include these references or asides, you're not sufficiently in command of the craft to do so.

    ****

    ETA: Final Draft have some sort of format thing happening soon with David Trottier. Although Trottier's guides are in the convention of an earlier era and formatting is somewhat more relaxed these days, his guides still hold true for the most part and you won't go wrong by following those basics so long as you read and understand contemporary work to put it in context. Some of you should go to his format seminar or whatever it is and thrash these things out there.
    Last edited by DavidK; 07-12-2012, 02:39 PM. Reason: h
    "Friends make the worst enemies." Frank Underwood

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    • #3
      Re: Writing Inner Thoughts

      Thank you, Mr. K.
      what the head makes cloudy the heart makes very clear

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Writing Inner Thoughts

        Originally posted by Kwinnky View Post
        Since we've seen other "do not do this" rules get debunked, I'm interested in whether or not this has gained widespread acceptance. Here's an example:

        Code:
        Margaret pauses. Seeming afraid for the first time. Some
        secrets perhaps best left untold.
        The above comes from a produced screenplay with similar passages throughout. I can see how it can give the actors an image in their head to work with, but wasn't this suppose to be high on the list of no-no's?
        ALWAYS DO THIS! If it comes from a produced screenplay, then you should ALWAYS DO IT! After all, produced = perfect.

        or maybe this falls under personal preference and you should find what works for your story as you surely will find produced scripts that do this very thing and some that shy away from it. oh no, if none of the pros chime in and give you a rule, you might have to make a decision yourself...waiting on pins and needles. someone help us. give us a rule....please!
        Easy people, only kidding.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Writing Inner Thoughts

          If it's something that would be clear to the audience with a look, nothing wrong with adding a line or two for the reader.

          Hell, I had numerous moments like this in my last spec. One was four lines deep on the page and that script got me signed at Industry and ICM.

          So, as with anything... Do it well and it doesn't matter.

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          • #6
            Re: Writing Inner Thoughts

            Even if you had a 90 page screenplay and added one extra line on every page, you end up with what... a 94 page screenplay?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Writing Inner Thoughts

              Originally posted by Kwinnky View Post
              Since we've seen other "do not do this" rules get debunked, I'm interested in whether or not this has gained widespread acceptance. Here's an example:

              Code:
              Margaret pauses. Seeming afraid for the first time. Some
              secrets perhaps best left untold.
              The above comes from a produced screenplay with similar passages throughout. I can see how it can give the actors an image in their head to work with, but wasn't this suppose to be high on the list of no-no's?
              That's fine with me, because I feel like that is something an actor can express, or at least use, in the moment.

              The key is "in the moment."

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Writing Inner Thoughts

                If it can be acted, then by all means, write it.

                If not, forget it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Writing Inner Thoughts

                  Originally posted by DavidK View Post
                  Occasionally, or rarely, every recommended convention is deviated from in a produced script somewhere at some time. It's generally not a good idea to focus on them as examples that prove or disprove something because they are often in the context of excellent work from a writer who is in complete control of their story.

                  You are also talking about something that happens in degrees, not absolutes - to some degree many successful scriptwriters use "unfilmables" to add depth or nuance to a character or scene, or to give an actor further insight into a character's psychology to help add depth to a performance.

                  This, too, has been discussed at length recently. It's only on the ethereal list of no-nos because it's a device which is easy to misuse or overuse in the wrongs hands. I'd even go so far as to suggest that if you need to ask whether or not it's okay to include these references or asides, you're not sufficiently in command of the craft to do so.

                  ****

                  ETA: Final Draft have some sort of format thing happening soon with David Trottier. Although Trottier's guides are in the convention of an earlier era and formatting is somewhat more relaxed these days, his guides still hold true for the most part and you won't go wrong by following those basics so long as you read and understand contemporary work to put it in context. Some of you should go to his format seminar or whatever it is and thrash these things out there.
                  -- I came here because Ven mentioned in the ANGLE ON thread that David made a great post in this thread. After reading it, I agree. It's a great post and articulated well on giving clarification on what one might find in pro scripts and how to look at it.

                  Comment

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