Multi-character script, any advice?

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  • #31
    Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

    Originally posted by goldmund View Post

    Mr. Earth: thanks for the joke for my script -- "we're the only three people in Indianapolis who go to therapy" :-D

    I chose Indianapolis because of my great love for Kurt Vonnegut, the bard who immortalized your city.
    I'd be happy to read this and "fact check" your Indy stuff, if you like.
    On Twitter @DeadManSkipping

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    • #32
      Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

      I would explore Crash which I saw for first time recently...

      I could be wrong, but it seemed awfully disjointed. And, a rush job at the end to coalesce all the characters in one neat, tidy ending.
      " Don't really like writing. But I do like having written." Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad.

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      • #33
        Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

        Originally posted by WaitForIt View Post
        I just watched The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for the first time a few days ago, so it's fresh in my mind. It's a tapestry of protagonists. The beginning worked because you could feel them all moving in a similar direction even though they were not connected to each other. A couple of the introductions/backstories strained credulity but between them all there was at least a sense of congruity, all of the protagonists about to start the same adventure, plus it was entertaining in the interim.
        Glad you mentioned that one (should have been nominated for best adapted screenplay). The seven become united when they all sit together.

        Another good example is "The Usual Suspects" (also stars Kevin Spacey from "L.A. Confidential). Five criminals are brought together because they all suspected of carrying out a huge heist, but that's not the real reason...
        "A screenwriter is much like being a fire hydrant with a bunch of dogs lined up around it.- -Frank Miller

        "A real writer doesn't just want to write; a real writer has to write." -Alan Moore

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        • #34
          Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

          Thanks, Mr. Earth -- I'll gladly take advantage of your kind offer!

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          • #35
            Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

            Originally posted by goldmund View Post
            In my script there are 3 protags and they come together and form a team at the end of act 1.

            I've gotten several complaints from readers that the 1st act feels "scattered." I jump from one character to another quite often and I think that might be the reason. Maybe I don't stay with one character long enough and jump too often? But then, I don't want to introduce one protagonist on page 20...
            Apologies for not reading the other posts, so perhaps this question has already been answered, but -

            A, B and C characters combine at the end of Act I where the focus of the script is on them as a unit?

            In this case, I see absolutely nothing wrong with showing:

            A struggling to feed his kids, get them to school -

            B working as a doorman, effortlessly disarming a rowdy drunk of his bottle -

            C puking out last night's binge drinking session -

            A having to pay a fine for being late picking his kids up... the creche worker sympathising how it must be tough as a single parent, but her boss is a bitch -

            B standing tall when confronted by mob debt collectors, telling their leader that he'll have his money by...

            and C hating his job, sneaking into the loo for a sip of vodka, before -

            They meet up as the UNIT and together - with their problems already clear to us, decide to rob a bank.


            The amount of characters isn't relevant as long as you DON'T LOSE THE READER. What follows is Act II.
            Cufk, Tish, Sips.

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            • #36
              Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

              I did two versions.
              a) subtle -- we start in the office, and have 3 chars introduced very briskly (just them sitting in silence and displaying their quirks -- one has tics, another weeps, the third sprawls arrogantly in the chair -- the therapist addresses them by their names, then cut to the next one)
              b) full-blown foreshadowing -- all three together in rags and tatters walking on a beach searching for someone, then we go to a.

              I wonder if a) is too subtle to establish the connection. B) is sure to work, but I'm not too crazy about jumping in time and doesn't it feel a bit cheap?

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              • #37
                Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

                IMO feels cheap

                IMO go PULP FICTION:

                Character(s) A in a/their world.
                Character(s) B in a/their world.
                Character(s) C in a/their world.
                With each character revealing their quirk in their own world.

                Pumpkin/Honeybunny in the diner.
                Jules/Vincent in the apartment.
                Marsellus/Butch in the bar.

                Then you've got Butch meeting Vincent in the bar.
                So you've got two characters meeting at the end of the third sequence, if you like.
                Or have them all meet in a later sequence at the therapist.

                OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE
                Shelley Long and Better Midler are dating the same guy and find out when they meet in the morgue. Realize he's alive and agree to hunt him down.
                So you could have the characters run into each other at the therapy clinic after we know who they are and why they need therapy. Realize therapist's fled and they agree to hunt him down.
                Story Structure 1
                Story Structure 2
                Story Structure 3

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                • #38
                  Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

                  Originally posted by goldmund View Post
                  I did two versions.
                  a) subtle -- we start in the office, and have 3 chars introduced very briskly (just them sitting in silence and displaying their quirks -- one has tics, another weeps, the third sprawls arrogantly in the chair -- the therapist addresses them by their names, then cut to the next one)
                  b) full-blown foreshadowing -- all three together in rags and tatters walking on a beach searching for someone, then we go to a.

                  I wonder if a) is too subtle to establish the connection. B) is sure to work, but I'm not too crazy about jumping in time and doesn't it feel a bit cheap?
                  I actually like "a)" above, but I think the choice depends on the title and genre. I'm assuming it's a comedy or dramedy. If that's correct, your goal in this opening scene/sequence is to establish their connection, just like Love Actually establishes that the characters are connected.

                  In Love Actually, we get a lot of information that reveals character and present struggle and this takes several pages. You might be able to do everything you need to do before the end of page one by playing out parts of the same moment with each of your characters.

                  For example, if the script is a comedy called "Finding Dr. Applebaum," you open in his office. We see his nameplate. It's the end of the session with the first character. Give us the character's name, show us his tics, then Applebaum says: "I'm going to be taking some time off."

                  Then INT. DR. APPLEBAUM'S OFFICE - A LITTLE LATER, and show the woman weeping, then the woman saying "How much time?"

                  Then INT. DR. APPLEBAUM'S OFFICE - LATER, and show the guy with the arrogant slouch saying "What do you mean by "some" time? A week? Two weeks? A month?

                  You could do this in half a page and it would go a long way towards showing us that this story is about how these three people are probably gonna' get together and try to find Dr. Applebaum.

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                  • #39
                    Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

                    Thanks, guys!

                    So, I did it, and learned a lot in the process... At moments of weakness I thought about sending it to a consultant, but then read Craig Mazin's column at Artful Writer (especially one comment -- what are you going to be selling if you hire a consultant to do it for you?)

                    I must say that Bill Martell was spot-on: interplay between scenes is very important and can save your script from feeling scattered even when you have disparate stories. In one scene I have a guy (Protag 1) helplessly in love with a girl at work, in another a student fascinated by her teacher (Protag 2.) They were several scenes apart, and blah blah blah. When I put one after another suddenly MAGIC GLUE descended from heavens and cured me.

                    Contrast, Irony, Symbolism -- be blessed, my dearest friends.

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                    • #40
                      Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

                      Originally posted by goldmund View Post
                      Cheers, Emily, Cyfress -- this is really helping.

                      To clarify a bit, these are 3 patients of the same shrink. In act one we go with them separately through their day and they don't know each other. During the act we learn about the main problem they have -- one loses his job, one is stuck in a bad relationship, one is too scared to talk to a girl he's in love with. In act two they come together and go on a quest, sort of group therapy.
                      Sounds like a similar setup to "The Dream Team", which was a comedy.

                      EDIT: Sorry, should have read everything before I posted. Already mentioned.
                      "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

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                      • #41
                        Re: Multi-character script, any advice?

                        Three Men And A Baby, to a degree.

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