The Matrix -- different drafts of two scenes

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  • The Matrix -- different drafts of two scenes

    Here are examples of how two scenes from The Matrix changed in different drafts.

    The first scene is the conversation Cypher and Neo have in the Nebuchadnezzar when the rest of the crew are sleeping.

    April 8, 1996 - Draft
    Code:
    INT. MAIN DECK
    
    The core glows with monitor light. Cypher is in the
    operator’s chair as Neo comes up behind him.
    
                        CYPHER
              Whoa! ****, Neo, you scared the
              bejeezus out of me.
    
                        NEO
              Sorry.
    
                        CYPHER
              No, it’s all right.
    
                        NEO
              What are you doing?
    
                        CYPHER
              Midnight watch.
    
    Neo’s eyes light up as he steps closer to the screen that
    seem alive with a constant flow of data.
    
                        NEO
              Is that...?
    
                        CYPHER
              The Matrix? Yeah.
    
    The monitors are packed with bizarre codes and equations.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              You want a drink?
    
    He pours Neo a drink from a large plastic jug.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              I’ll tell you, I feel for you, man.
              I really do. Most of us were still
              young, just punks, when Morpheus
              jacked us. But you, you had a real
              life.
    
    Neo takes a sip and it almost kills him. Cypher pounds on his
    back.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Good ****, huh? Dozer makes it. It’s
              good for two things: degreasing
              engines and killing brain cells.
    
    Red-faced, Neo finally stops coughing.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Did he tell you why he did it?
    
    Neo nods.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              I’ll bet he didn’t tell you that
              this wasn’t the first time he
              thought the found the One.
    
    Neo shakes his head as Cypher fills his cup and laughs.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Let me give you a piece of advice.
              Between you and me, if Morpheus says
              you can fly, I wouldn’t go jumping
              out of any windows to find out if
              he’s right. Understand?
    
    Cypher raises his drink. New swallows another
    throat-scorching mouthful.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Welcome to the real world!
    March 29, 1998 - Numbered Shooting Script
    Code:
    INT. MAIN DECK
    
    The core glows with monitor light. Cypher is in the
    operator’s chair as Neo comes up behind him.
    
                        CYPHER
              Whoa! ****, Neo, you scared the
              bejeezus out of me.
    
                        NEO
              Sorry.
    
                        CYPHER
              No, it’s all right.
    
    Neo’s eyes light up as he steps closer to the screens that
    seem alive with a constant flow of data.
    
                        NEO
              Is that...?
    
                        CYPHER
              The Matrix? Yeah.
    
    Neo stares at the endlessly shifting river of information,
    bizarre codes and equations flowing across the face of the
    monitor.
    
                        NEO
              Do you always look at it encoded?
    
                        CYPHER
              Have to. The image translators sort
              of work for the construct programs
              but there’s way too much information
              to decode the Matrix. You get used
              to it, though. Your brain does the
              translating. I don’t even see the
              code. All I see is blonde, brunette,
              and redhead. You want a drink?
    
    Neo nods and he pours a clear alcohol from a plastic jug.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              You know, I know what you’re
              thinking ‘cause right now I’m
              thinking the same thing. Actually,
              to tell you the truth, I’ve been
              thinking the same thing ever since I
              got here.
    
    He raises his glass.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Why, oh why, didn’t I take that blue
              pill?
    
    He throws the shot down his throat. Neo does the same and it
    almost kills him. Smiling, Cypher slaps him on the back.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Good ****, eh? Dozer makes it. It’s
              good for two things: degreasing
              engines and killing brain cells.
    
    Red-faced, Neo finally stops coughing. Cypher pours him
    another.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Can I ask you something? Did he
              happen to tell you why he did it?
    
    Neo looks up, unsure.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Why you’re here?
    
                        NEO
              ... Yeah.
    
                        CYPHER
              Gee-zus! What a mindjob. You’re here
              to save the world. You gotta be
              shitting me. What do you say to
              something like that?
    
    Neo looks down at his drink.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              I’m going to let you in on a little
              secret here. Now don’t tell him I
              told you this, but this ain’t the
              first time Morpheus thought he found
              the One.
    
                        NEO
              Really?
    
                        CYPHER
              You bet your ass. It keeps him going.
              Maybe it keeps all of us going.
    
                        NEO
              How many were there?
    
                        CYPHER
              Five. Since I’ve been here.
    
                        NEO
              What happened to them?
    
                        CYPHER
              Dead. All dead.
    
                        NEO
              How?
    
                        CYPHER
              Honestly. Morpheus. He got them all
              amped up believing in bullshit. I
              watched each of them take on an
              Agent and I watched each of them die.
              Little piece of advice: you see an
              Agent, you do what we do; run. Run
              your ass off.
    
    Neo gulps down another shot.
    
                        NEO
              Thanks... for the drink
    
                        CYPHER
              Anytime.
    
    Cypher nods as Neo heads for the ladder.
    
                        CYPHER (cont'd)
              Sweet dreams.
    Transcript from the movie
    Code:
    [B]Cypher:[/B] Whoa, Neo. You scared the bejesus out of me.
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] Sorry.
    
    [B]Cypher:[/B] It's okay.
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] Is that -
    
    [B]Cypher:[/B] The Matrix? Yeah.
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] Do you always look at it encoded?
    
    [B]Cypher:[/B] Well you have to. The image translators work for the construct
    program. But there's way too much information to decode the Matrix.
    You get used to it. I, I don't even see the code. All I see is blonde,
    brunette, redhead. Hey, you eh, want a drink?
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] Sure
    
    [B]Cypher:[/B] You know, I know what you're thinking, because right now I'm
    thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got
    here. Why, oh why didn't I take the blue pill? Good ****, huh? Dozer
    makes it. It's good for two things, degreasing engines and killing brain
    cells. So, can I ask you something? Did he tell you why he did it, why
    you're here? Jesus. What a mind job. So you're here to save the world.
    What do you say to something like that? A little piece of advice. You see
    an agent, you do what we do. Run. You run your ass off.
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] Thanks for the drink.
    [B]
    Cypher:[/B] Sweet dreams.
    The second scene is the conversation Neo and Morpheus have just before they enter the Oracle's apartment.

    March 29, 1998 - Numbered Shooting Script
    Code:
    INT. ELEVATOR
    
    The idea of learning one’s fate begins to weigh upon Neo with
    a steadily growing unease.
    
                        NEO
              So is this the same oracle that made
              the, uh, prophecy?
    
                        MORPHEUS
              Yes. She’s very old. She’s been with
              us since the beginning.
    
                        NEO
              The beginning?
    
                        MORPHEUS
              Of the Resistance.
    
                        NEO
              And she knows what? Everything?
    
                        MORPHEUS
              She would say she knows enough.
    
                        NEO
              And she’s never wrong.
    
                        MORPHEUS
              Don’t think of it in terms of right
              and wrong. She is a guide, Neo. She
              can help you find the path.
    
                        NEO
              She helped you?
    
                        MORPHEUS
              Yes.
    
                        NEO
              What did she tell you?
    
                        MORPHEUS
              That I would find the One.
    
    DING. The ELEVATOR opens.
    
    INT. HALL
    
    The long dark hall beckons. Neo follows Morpheus out of the
    elevator and the DOORS RATTLE shut behind him. With every
    step, a disturbing sense of inevitability closes in around
    him.
    
    At the end of the hall, Morpheus steps to the side of a door.
    
                        MORPHEUS
              I told you that I can only show you
              the door. You have to step through
              it.
    
    Neo blows out a breath. His hand reaches but stops, hovering
    over the spherical handle. He backs away.
    
                        NEO
              Morpheus, I don’t think this is a
              good idea.
    
                        MORPHEUS
              Why?
    
                        NEO
              I told you I don’t believe in this
              stuff. No matter what she says I’m
              not going to believe it, so what’s
              the point?
    
                        MORPHEUS
              What do you believe in?
    
                        NEO
              What do I believe in? Are you
              kidding me? What do you think? The
              world I grew up in isn’t real. My
              entire life was a lie. I don’t
              believe in anything more.
    
                        MORPHEUS
              That’s why we’re here.
    
                        NEO
              Why? So I can hear some old lady
              tell me, what? That I’m this guy
              that everybody’s been waiting for?
              That I’m supposed to save the world?
              It sounds insane. Unbelievable. And
              I don’t care who says it, it’s still
              going to sound insane and
              unbelievable
    
                        MORPHEUS
              Faith is not a matter of
              reasonability. I don not believe
              things with  my mind. I believe them
              with my heart. In my gut.
    
                        NEO
              And you believe I’m the One?
    
                        MORPHEUS
              Yes I do.
    
                        NEO
              Yeah? What about the other five guys?
              The five before me? What about them?
    
    Morpheus tries to hide his heart being wrenched from his
    chest.
    
                        NEO (cont'd)
              Did you believe in them too?
    
                        MORPHEUS
              I believed what the Oracle told me...
              no, I misunderstood what she told me.
              I believed it was all about me.
    
    This is difficult for Morpheus to admit.
    
                        MORPHEUS (cont'd)
              I believed that all I had to do was
              point my finger and anoint whoever I
              chose. I was wrong, Neo. Terribly
              wrong. Not a day or night passes
              that I do not think of them. After
              the fifth, I lost my way. I doubted
              everything the Oracle said. I
              doubted myself.
    
    He looks up at Neo.
    
                        MORPHEUS (cont'd)
              And then I saw you, Neo, and my
              world changed. You can call it an
              epiphany, you can call it whatever
              the hell you want. It doesn’t matter.
              It’s not about a word. It’s about
              this. So I can’t explain it to you.
              All I can do is believe, Neo,
              believe that one day you will feel
              what I felt and know what I know;
              you are the sixth and the last. You
              are the One.
    
    His eyes blaze.
    
                        MORPHEUS (cont'd)
              Until that time all I am asking from
              you is for you to hold on to
              whatever respect you may have for me
              and trust me.
    
    Neo feels a rush from Morpheus’ intensity, the unadulterated
    confidence of a zealot.
    
                        NEO
              All right.
    
    He reaches for the handle which turns without him even
    touching it. A WOMAN wearing white opens the door.
    
                        PRIESTESS (WOMAN)
              Hello, Neo. You’re right on time.
    Transcript from the movie
    Code:
    [I][B]In the apartment building:[/B][/I]
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] So is this the same Oracle that made the prophecy?
    
    [B]Morpheus:[/B] Yes. She's very old. She's been with us since the beginning.
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] The beginning?
    
    [B]Morpheus:[/B] Of the resistance.
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] And she knows what, everything?
    
    [B]Morpheus:[/B] She would say she knows enough.
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] And she's never wrong.
    
    [B]Morpheus:[/B] Try not to think of it in terms of right and wrong. She
    is a guide, Neo. She can help you to find the path.
    
    [B]Neo:[/B] She helped you?
    
    [B]Morpheus:[/B] Yes.
    
    [B]Neo: [/B]What did she tell you?
    
    [B]Morpheus:[/B] That I would find the One. I told you I can only show
    you the door. You have to walk through it.
    
    [I][B]In the Oracle's apartment:[/B][/I]
    
    [B]Priestess:[/B] Hello, Neo. You're right on time.(...)
    Last edited by ; 07-25-2013, 05:41 AM.

  • #2
    Re: The Matrix -- different drafts of two scenes

    The film was much better.

    To me, perfect.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: The Matrix -- different drafts of two scenes

      In my experience - both my own, limited, development experience and from what I've seen with a lot of films where I read early drafts of the script, or shooting scripts - this is common.

      I think development often tends to lead to over-writing. Development execs want to make sure everything is extremely clear. By and large (and there are exceptions) they're not great at seeing a script for anything but what it is, so they're not as good as writers and directors at understanding what the movie is going to look like from the script.

      So a lot of redundant stuff gets put it. Things are made super obvious.

      And then when you're actually working with actors, on a set (if not before) it becomes clear how superfluous that is, how much is communicated by the actors just being there, doing their thing.

      And then, again, in the editing room. Stuff becomes clear sooner than you expect, so you take more stuff out. And since it's much easier to remove stuff than add stuff in post, a lot of productions err on the side of letting a little too much be said. (Yes, you can loop lines, and you can reshoot - but neither of those is anywhere as close to as seamless as removing lines).

      But I've seen a lot of scripts get full of that kind of redundant stuff in development and then slim down in pre, production, and post.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: The Matrix -- different drafts of two scenes

        +1 for the thread. Really interesting and useful.

        Always looking for ways to pare down my writing to the essentials.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: The Matrix -- different drafts of two scenes

          I feel so much better about my script now! LOL. Those previous scenes were way overwritten. In fact, it reminds me of the original Star Wars script, where Luke and Biggs talked about God knows what for 5 pages.

          You really need to ask yourself what dialogue drives your protagonists journey. Even though a lecture on the previous 5 "The Ones" creates more depth in moprheus' character, it completely distracts from Neo's.

          Great post BTW!
          I'm never wrong. Reality is just stubborn.

          Comment

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