How to avoid long dialog blocks.

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  • How to avoid long dialog blocks.

    I have some characters traveling on a long plane ride across the Pacific. For various reasons, I would like to keep the plane in the story as opposed to just have the characters appear in Asia without showing how they got there.

    Can I get some suggestions on how to break up the dialog between the characters (who are stuck in their seats) so that the page doesn't look like it's one large block of dialog? I'm finding the "show, don't tell" dictum a challenge in this confined space.

    LIFEBOAT is on my "get script" list so that I can see how that's written but would still appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.

  • #2
    Re: How to avoid long dialog blocks.

    Other people. But it's hard to say specifically since you don't mention the tone of your story. And you don't say how many people.

    For example, let's say you have 3 main chars in a scene. As 2 of them talk, the 3rd can be watching someone change a baby's diaper; two kids playing a game and giggling; a couple fighting. So we hear Chars 1 and 2 talking, while we see the people Char 3 is watching (and reacting to) - and we don't hear those other people. And at some point, Char 2 can ask Char 3 what he/she's watching. Or Char 2 can notice that Char 3 is distracted, and see what's doing that.

    And whatever the other people are doing, it feeds in some way into your story/theme/etc.

    OTOH, if you say that we have to see the chars as they all talk, then...? Maybe give one char some kind of OCD quirk to do as they all talk.

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    • #3
      Re: How to avoid long dialog blocks.

      What's the scene about? That's all that matters. You say you want the scene, but why? To just show they get from A to B?

      In Fight Club Tyler and Jack spend 2-3 pages talking on the plane when they first meet. It's very talky, but the scene zips along because it's the first time Jack is challenged and engaged, he's meeting someone interesting for the first time in his life. More than that, this guy - Tyler - gets him, knows his thoughts. He's funny, smart, sexy, mysterious and a little bit scary.

      In Take This Waltz, the scene where Margot and Daniel meet takes place on a plane and lasts 5 pages. There are odd bits of action, but it's mainly them talking. But it works because it's about something - she's flirting, we know she's married, the whole scene hinges on this feeling of how far is she going with this - which ultimately is what the rest of the film's about.

      So again... what's the point of your scene? Do your characters fall in love, end up killing each other, discover one's a spy and the other's a terrorist?

      Is this one continuous scene, or could you break it up over the journey - in which case you just show the background changing - other passengers eating; fade to other passengers asleep whilst our two are still at it. Add contrast - our characters are full of energy: make the other passengers boring and quiet, shushing them; our characters are reserved and nervous? Make the others bouncy and loved-up, honeymooners queuing to get busy in the toilet.

      But the important thing is what's changing in the scene, what's happening, how it's advancing the story. If that's solid, I'm not sure anything else matters that much.

      JJ.
      My stuff

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      • #4
        Re: How to avoid long dialog blocks.

        Originally posted by socalwriter1 View Post
        I have some characters traveling on a long plane ride across the Pacific. For various reasons, I would like to keep the plane in the story as opposed to just have the characters appear in Asia without showing how they got there.

        Can I get some suggestions on how to break up the dialog between the characters (who are stuck in their seats) so that the page doesn't look like it's one large block of dialog? I'm finding the "show, don't tell" dictum a challenge in this confined space.

        LIFEBOAT is on my "get script" list so that I can see how that's written but would still appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.
        If I recall correctly, THIS IS 40 has pages of dialogue with hardly any breakup in between, so I'm not sure it's a huge problem.

        Else,

        HARRY MET SALLY, Harry's sitting behind and he swaps seats with a fellow passenger

        WEDDING SINGER, they meet Billy Idol, the stewardess keeps knocking the aisle passengers with the trolley

        DIE HARD you got the guy telling John to make fists with his toes

        AIRPLANE! you got someone wanting to join the mile high club

        Annie gets drunk in BRIDESMAIDS

        An episode of CHEERS where Sam and Diane listen to voiceovers of their own thoughts

        Denzel Washington can't stop drinking in FLIGHT

        You've got Pedro Almodovar's I'M SO EXCITED

        and SNAKES ON A PLANE...well...

        etc.
        Story Structure 1
        Story Structure 2
        Story Structure 3

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        • #5
          Re: How to avoid long dialog blocks.

          Originally posted by socalwriter1 View Post
          I have some characters traveling on a long plane ride across the Pacific. For various reasons, I would like to keep the plane in the story as opposed to just have the characters appear in Asia without showing how they got there.

          Can I get some suggestions on how to break up the dialog between the characters (who are stuck in their seats) so that the page doesn't look like it's one large block of dialog? I'm finding the "show, don't tell" dictum a challenge in this confined space.

          LIFEBOAT is on my "get script" list so that I can see how that's written but would still appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.
          I think a lot of people misunderstand what is meant by "show, don't tell."

          A scene that is all dialogue can either show or tell. A scene that consists only of action can either show or tell.

          Showing versus telling doesn't have anything to do with using visuals as opposed to using dialogue to convey story.

          It means that you allow the events of the story, whatever they may be, to convey the story, as opposed to having you, the writer, stick yourself into either into the mouths of the characters or, god-like, into the events of the story, using them to "tell" the audience things.

          So when you have characters talking to one another about whatever the scene is about -- or worse yet, what the movie is about -- that is you *telling* the audience, instead of showing the audience.

          That has nothing to do with whether whatever a scene happens to be about, or what the movie happens to be about, is conveyed through action or through characters speaking.

          Plenty of great movies, from The Maltese Falcon, to 12 Angry Men, to All The President's Men, consist primarily of people talking to one another.

          None of them suffer from "telling" as opposed to showing.

          The question you have to answer is -- what is the scene on the airplane about? What is it that the scene needs to show? The characters start out at the beginning of the flight in Place A and they need to get somehow or other to Place B at the end.

          If they're in the same place, storywise, there's no reason for the scene.

          When you figure out what the dramatic purpose of the scene is -- who needs what, what's keeping them from achieving it. What's the goal, what's the obstruction, etc. -- that can be played out in terms of people talking just as much as it can with car chases and ticking time bombs.

          NMS

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          • #6
            Re: How to avoid long dialog blocks.

            Thanks guys, this is exactly what I needed to get my stagnant brain moving again -- and in the right direction.

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            • #7
              Re: How to avoid long dialog blocks.

              You might think in terms of "Pulp Fiction". Vincent and Jules talking in the car or cafe is not exposition, so it flows and becomes interesting.
              SL35
              Potent dreamer. Newb disclaimer.

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              • #8
                Re: How to avoid long dialog blocks.

                You know it really depends on quality. When I'm reading a script and I flip a page and see a whole page of blocks of dialogue, a part of me gets excited. I kinda say "Okay, let's see what you got".

                So from a writer's perspective it's a risk. If you rock at dialogue, it can be really rewarding. I wouldn't make a habit of it, but one or two in a script is cool. (Depending on genre of course, if you're writing a courtroom drama I'd expect more than a couple).

                It's just another one of those technical things that us writers obsess and panic over, but in the end it all comes down to "is it good".
                Write, rite, wright... until you get it RIGHT.

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