Writing character in Action

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  • Writing character in Action

    I introduce the character as Jim's SISTER KIM. In the next scene she's in, I obviously don't write Jim's sister Kim and do so in every other scene she's in right?

    Do I just write Jim and Kim sit in a diner. Or can I sometimes write Jim and his sister.

    Is there a rule, does it depend if Jim is in the scene. Do I'll alternate to so it doesn't get repetitive for the reader?

  • #2
    Re: Writing character in Action

    Best and honest answer. Read and reread a bunch of free scripts that went into production. There are lots of links for these, just google them. You'll get a sense of how writers break the repetition, you'll also become aware of when writers use it and why. Take some time, compare the script to the movie. It's a great education and it will help you get a lot of basic stuff out of the way and really be able to focus on coming up with the best content.

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    • #3
      Re: Writing character in Action

      Is it necessary that their names sound so similar? Are they twins by chance? Otherwise it strikes me as being a little visually distracting but it could be just me.

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      • #4
        Re: Writing character in Action

        Like madworld said, there's lots of different ways to do this. You definitely don't have to call anyone SISTER KIM forever unless she's a nun or something and that's her actual name. You also don't have to introduce her in each scene as "Jim's sister, Kim" if we're unlikely to forget the relationship.

        It's a slightly nebulous thing, but the main point is that you want someone who's reading quickly to understand who you're talking about without having to flip back or take a break to figure it out. For that reason, you'll find many scripts lean on using people's names more often than other forms of writing might. So you can switch back and forth between calling her Kim and calling her Jim's sister, but if you're going to leave out her name then make sure it's clear from context who you're talking about (for example, if there are only two people in the scene, then we will know that the one who's not Jim is Kim).

        Keep the name consistent in dialogue headings, though. Don't put the dialogue under KIM sometimes and SISTER other times. It's always KIM.

        Edit: Here's a convenient feature script collection to start with if you don't have a specific title in mind: http://gointothestory.blcklst.com/fr...ipt-downloads/

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        • #5
          Re: Writing character in Action

          Thanks omjs

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          • #6
            Re: Writing character in Action

            Remember, readers are trying to keep a half-dozen or more characters straight. Switching references won't make that any easier.

            Also, while it seems boring and repetitive to us, as the writer, to use the same reference to a character hundreds of times in a script, the reader's not even going to notice. Let them focus on your awesome action scenes and intense dialogue instead of trying to remember who Jim's sister is.
            Patrick Sweeney

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            • #7
              Re: Writing character in Action

              Originally posted by Hitman View Post
              I introduce the character as Jim's SISTER KIM. In the next scene she's in, I obviously don't write Jim's sister Kim and do so in every other scene she's in right?

              Do I just write Jim and Kim sit in a diner. Or can I sometimes write Jim and his sister.

              Is there a rule, does it depend if Jim is in the scene. Do I'll alternate to so it doesn't get repetitive for the reader?
              This is a real problem and a real trap for screenwriters because you often forget, when you write things like "Jim's sister Kim" on the page that when that scene plays on screen (which it might actually do someday) that the words, "Jim's sister Kim" aren't going to appear on screen underneath Kim's close-up.

              So given that they aren't -- how is the audience, seeing this guy and this girl in a scene together, supposed to know that they are brother and sister rather than boyfriend and girlfriend?

              That is the problem. You have an information problem and you think that you've solved it by simply using that phrase, "Jim's sister Kim' -- but you actually haven't -- because you've conveyed that information to the reader, but you haven't conveyed it to the audience.

              To do that, you need to place that information either in some kind of action or in the dialogue. So Jim calls Kim "Sis" or she calls him "Hey Big Brother" -or somebody asks him, "Where's your little Sister? -- and the she walks in and says, "Why don't you ask her?" "Okay. How are you?"

              In other words, you establish the relationship through a scene, through action that the reader's going to remember, not through stuff in the text.

              NMS

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              • #8
                Re: Writing character in Action

                Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
                This is a real problem and a real trap for screenwriters because you often forget, when you write things like "Jim's sister Kim" on the page that when that scene plays on screen (which it might actually do someday) that the words, "Jim's sister Kim" aren't going to appear on screen underneath Kim's close-up.

                So given that they aren't -- how is the audience, seeing this guy and this girl in a scene together, supposed to know that they are brother and sister rather than boyfriend and girlfriend?

                That is the problem. You have an information problem and you think that you've solved it by simply using that phrase, "Jim's sister Kim' -- but you actually haven't -- because you've conveyed that information to the reader, but you haven't conveyed it to the audience.

                To do that, you need to place that information either in some kind of action or in the dialogue. So Jim calls Kim "Sis" or she calls him "Hey Big Brother" -or somebody asks him, "Where's your little Sister? -- and the she walks in and says, "Why don't you ask her?" "Okay. How are you?"

                In other words, you establish the relationship through a scene, through action that the reader's going to remember, not through stuff in the text.
                A great example of reading "behind the note (question)" to diagnose the real problem. I didn't even consider that angle.
                Patrick Sweeney

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                • #9
                  Re: Writing character in Action

                  Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
                  This is a real problem and a real trap for screenwriters because you often forget, when you write things like "Jim's sister Kim" on the page that when that scene plays on screen (which it might actually do someday) that the words, "Jim's sister Kim" aren't going to appear on screen underneath Kim's close-up.

                  So given that they aren't -- how is the audience, seeing this guy and this girl in a scene together, supposed to know that they are brother and sister rather than boyfriend and girlfriend?

                  That is the problem. You have an information problem and you think that you've solved it by simply using that phrase, "Jim's sister Kim' -- but you actually haven't -- because you've conveyed that information to the reader, but you haven't conveyed it to the audience.

                  To do that, you need to place that information either in some kind of action or in the dialogue. So Jim calls Kim "Sis" or she calls him "Hey Big Brother" -or somebody asks him, "Where's your little Sister? -- and the she walks in and says, "Why don't you ask her?" "Okay. How are you?"

                  In other words, you establish the relationship through a scene, through action that the reader's going to remember, not through stuff in the text.

                  NMS
                  Thanks NMS. It's actually pretty clear that Jim and Kim siblings in my first scene. I'm wondering if there's a rule about it. Maybe after a few scenes Kim isn't in I should mention she's the sister again.
                  I assume if it was a shooting script then the character name would have to be mentioned.

                  I read some of the script for the movie Nebraska and sometimes it would just be written as so and so's mother.

                  Do you agree with Patrick Sweeney post about not worrying about the repetitiveness and stay consistent and who cares if a few scenes are Jim and Kim sit at a diner because it's thr dialogue that matters.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Writing character in Action

                    Originally posted by Hitman View Post
                    Thanks NMS. It's actually pretty clear that Jim and Kim siblings in my first scene. I'm wondering if there's a rule about it. Maybe after a few scenes Kim isn't in I should mention she's the sister again.
                    I assume if it was a shooting script then the character name would have to be mentioned.

                    I read some of the script for the movie Nebraska and sometimes it would just be written as so and so's mother.

                    Do you agree with Patrick Sweeney post about not worrying about the repetitiveness and stay consistent and who cares if a few scenes are Jim and Kim sit at a diner because it's thr dialogue that matters.
                    Well, I agree about not using names that are that close, but I certainly wouldn't continually refer to a character as Bob's cousin Joe. or Jane's brother Harry.

                    If you establish early on that two people are siblings unless they're truly forgettable characters or it's a really forgettable relationship -- or unless you've got a really big cast, I don't think that you should need to keep reminding people about it.

                    Watch the opening scene in The Godfather. It's a big and a pretty complicated family relationship, but by the end of that wedding scene, while you might be a little big uncertain about the larger crime family -- who's Tessio, who's Clemenza, etc. -- you know who the core family is. You know The Godfather, you know Michael and Fredo and Connie and Santino and Tom Hagan -- and why Tom is a "brother" but doesn't have the same last name.

                    It's all established through action and dialogue. And because their characters and their relationships are so clearly defined in those early scenes you're not going to forget who's who.

                    That's the way that you fix the characters in the reader's mind -- by making the introductions of the characters and their relationships vivid and memorable. Then the reader/audience won't forget them.

                    NMS

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                    • #11
                      Re: Writing character in Action

                      It's actually pretty clear that Jim and Kim [are] siblings in my first scene. I'm wondering if there's a rule about it. Maybe after a few scenes Kim isn't in I should mention she's the sister again.
                      No, there are no rules about that, just common sense about making sure that people watching the film are clear about the relationship. You do not have to keep repeating it.

                      Having said that, I will add that, yes, it can be helpful in a script with lots of characters to make sure that the relationship of two characters does not get lost in the jumble. But that reinforcement will grow out of the plot and out of the words of the characters.

                      You do not have to keep repeating things for the reader, because if everything is clear to the audience, it is certainly clear to the reader.

                      I was glad to read what NMS had to say on this subject. I am not a professional screenwriter; I am just a guy with a strong background in all kinds of writing and literature. In some of what he said, NMS was offering a version of the same message that I preach half the time when I read a script and offer criticism. It does no good to offer authorial exposition to the reader if the audience remains ignorant of it.

                      On a tangential note ... I have wondered many times why it is not a practice in a screenplay to have a cast list at the start. This is a standard in works for the stage, going back for several centuries. And by 'cast' I am talking about a list of the characters, not the actors playing them. Very often I find myself having to turn back the pages to try to figure out who somebody is. I suspect that the reason for no cast list is that early film sometimes had little or no script, or was at least subject to change at any time. Incidentally, I am not proposing a change in the way that things are done - I may be dumb, but not that dumb.

                      "The fact that you have seen professionals write poorly is no reason for you to imitate them." - ComicBent.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Writing character in Action

                        Obviously, you don't capitalize 'SISTER', just her name. Also, as it has been stated, the action should make it clear they're brother and sister. If they aren't, and it's supposed to be used as a surprise for later, there is no need to 'spoil' in the description.

                        The tricky question you face, though, is whether to refer to her sometimes as Kim and sometimes as 'Jim's sister' simply as a way to add a little variety in the descriptions. I'm of the opinion that you can do that, especially if Kim is with Jim in most scenes they're in, and/or if Kim's scenes are few and far between and perhaps we need little reminders along the way.

                        If Jim vanishes as a character in the story and we follow Kim for the most part, however, to refer her as 'Jim's sister' later on would serve no purpose. It all depends. Perhaps a wiser man would tell you to go for the simplest solution and establish first they're brother and sister and then just call her by her name and forget about it - especially if by their actions the relationship is clear.

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