When your dialogue ends up being monologue

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  • When your dialogue ends up being monologue

    So, I decided to write a TV pilot and I'm about 90% finished with the episode and did a read through and realized that my main character (in a 6 character story), the one who drives the motivation for the plot does about 70% of the speaking. I'm going to do a rewrite and try to do more with less in terms of dialogue but I don't really see how I can set the stage without expressing it in the main character's voice.

    Here's my question. If this is read by a professional will this type of writing just be disregarded a the work of an amateur or, being that it's the first episode in a 10 year series is it acceptable for one character to do so much of the talking?

    Thanks

  • #2
    Re: When your dialogue ends up being monologue.

    ok. A few things. When you say 90% done, do you mean the first draft or the whole script. Cause in the first drafts everyone gets monologues. You are just fitting in what you can when a moment arises. There is no plotting, organization to story facts. You are fitting things in where you can. Thank God there is rewriting.

    I'd worry less about percentages of dialogue and more about content. Is the dialogue on point. Does it add drama? Is it about 'something'.

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    • #3
      Re: When your dialogue ends up being monologue.

      You can use the other characters to set up contrasts with your main character. conflict with your main character, and to express different points of view on different matters so we get to know your characters through what makes each one different from the others.

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      • #4
        Re: When your dialogue ends up being monologue.

        ok. A few things. When you say 90% done, do you mean the first draft or the whole script. Cause in the first drafts everyone gets monologues. You are just fitting in what you can when a moment arises. There is no plotting, organization to story facts. You are fitting things in where you can. Thank God there is rewriting.

        I'd worry less about percentages of dialogue and more about content. Is the dialogue on point. Does it add drama? Is it about 'something'.
        Yes Cy, first draft and yes, there will be rewrites. I guess I'm just trying to figure out in my mind, how much is too much and to try to find the balance between dialogue and trying to drive the action in a different way.

        You can use the other characters to set up contrasts with your main character. conflict with your main character, and to express different points of view on different matters so we get to know your characters through what makes each one different from the others.
        Hi Joan, Yeah that's what I started doing after the first read, trying to add conflict with some of the other characters and split some of the longer dialogue between 2 characters. It's a fun process but frustrating if it all come to naught (not so much for me because I love it, but my wife who hates me being on the computer so much).

        Thanks to both of you.

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        • #5
          Re: When your dialogue ends up being monologue.

          I've read a few series pilots this week that people sent me. The one note that everyone has gotten from me is: Where is the overarching desire? There needs to be an ultimate goal. Without that all dialogue will be chit chat in nature, just nice exchanges that are not wrapped in conflict.

          Good dialogue centers around wants and needs of the characters. Either a character is defending or fighting for a want, or they are hinting at a need through subtext. Everything else is just chit-chat.

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          • #6
            Re: When your dialogue ends up being monologue.

            Where is the overarching desire? There needs to be an ultimate goal. Without that all dialogue will be chit chat.
            Nicely stated.

            "The fact that you have seen professionals write poorly is no reason for you to imitate them." - ComicBent.

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