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  • Entries - Halloween 2020 contest

    And thus it came to pass that we have 5 entries, which is perhaps the bare minimum for a contest. The titles are:

    Chug
    Space Jockeys
    A Gentlemen's Agreement
    Shamble Inn
    Toaster

    Read the entries and decide which are your 1st, 2nd and 3rd favorites of the bunch.

    PM or email (dpaterson57 at gmail.com) your votes to me by midnight 31st Oct in the format,

    1st - title
    2nd - title
    3rd - title

    Don't vote for your own entry, if this was allowed then everyone would do it so what's the point, it just clouds the voting.

    It helps if you make notes as you read so you remember which scripts tickled you the most, is it visual, are the characters believable, does dialogue sparkle, etc. Who knows, you might post these notes after the results are announced. It's nice to have feedback.

    Shout if you see any formatting problems and I will endeavor to fix 'em. Readers, if anything looks weird, assume it's me and not the author.

    Have fun!


    For posterity, the discussion thread is here and the results thread is here.
    Last edited by dpaterso; 11-01-2020, 03:09 AM. Reason: links added
    Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
    in Writing Exercises forum

  • #2
    Code:
    CHUG
    
    FADE IN:
    
    EXT. CHUGWATER, WYOMING CITY LIMITS - NIGHT
    
    Beatup sedan weaves across center line, passing city sign:
    "CHUGWATER POP. 244."
    
    EXT. CHUGWATER SODA FOUNTAIN - NIGHT
    
    Sedan overshoots parking slot, barely misses store wall and
    parked truck.  PAUL SCHAEFER -- 30s, crumpled business attire,
    gives-no-sh!its attitude -- chucks out energy drink cans as
    car door opens.
    
                          PAUL
                  (on phone)
              Come on, Sarah, put her on the phone.
              I do want to hear about her Halloween
              dance recital.  Fvck.  I do care.
              Just put her on the phone.  Yeah, I
              shouldn't have missed it.  I keep
              missing everything.  Blah, blah,
              blah.
                  (clicks phone off)
              Bitch.
    
    Paul straightens up, smacks himself in the face to wake up
    as he walks to store door.  Notices truck with Mason symbol
    encircled with: "KEEPING CHUGWATER CLEAN SINCE 1904."
    
                          PAUL
              Serious?
    
    INT. CHUGWATER SODA FOUNTAIN - NIGHT
    
    Paul stumbles through the threshold, knocking into a postcard
    stand.  Tries to straighten it -- frustrated, walks away.
    Teenage SODA WORKER finishes up to-go milkshakes for teenage
    couple.  Few other customers check out trinkets.
    
    Paul beelines to back of the shop for more energy drinks and
    bag of chips.  Grabs a couple of drinks and looks around.
    Spots a lighter stamped with Chugwater store emblem.  Nice --
    slips right into his pocket.
    
    As walks to register, sees free candy in Halloween dish and
    snags several pieces.  Spots notice at register: "SHOPLIFTERS
    PERSECUTED TO FULLEST EXTENT OF LAW.  HAVE A GREAT DAY!:)"
    
    Paul scoffs as he plops purchases on counter.
    
                          PAUL
              Hey, what's up with the name of this
              sh!t town?
    
                          SODA WORKER
              This is a nice town, mister.
    
                          PAUL
              Yeah, sure it is.  Name like Chugwater
              says it all.
    
                          SODA WORKER
              That's be twenty-seven dollars and
              sixteen cents.  Anything else?
    
                          PAUL
              Does it look like anything else?
              Sh!t, do you women stream TED Talks
              on how to castrate men for everything
              in our lives?
    
                          TEENAGE WORKER
              You might have forgotten something.
    
    Paul slaps thirty dollars on the counter.
    
                          PAUL
              Keep the change.  I think your sh!tty
              town needs it.
                  (points at deer head
                   on wall)
              Maybe feed the deer more, you know?
              Moral fvcking high ground.
    
    As Paul walks out, sees cheap poster on the wall with photo
    of attractive woman: MISSING -- SEEN THIS LARAMIE WOMAN?
    CONTACT CHUGWATER POLICE AT KEEPCHUGWATERCLEAN.COM."
    
    Looks around -- rips poster off wall.  Sees another missing
    woman underneath.  Rips that one too, to reveal guy next.
    
                          PAUL
              Ugh, sausage fest.
    
    Walks to
    
    SEDAN
    
    tosses purchases inside and hops in.  Places missing posters
    on seat beside him.
    
                          PAUL
              Missing some nice pieces of ass, am
              I right ladies?  Guess it's a three-
              way Chug fest on the road to Laramie.
              Giddyup.
    
    INT. SEDAN - NIGHT
    
    Paul finishes an energy drink and chucks it aside.  Glances
    over at missing woman photo.  Reaches to adjust his privates
    and feels stolen lighter in his pocket.
    
                          PAUL
              Do I have anything else I want to
              buy?  Please.
    
    Paul flicks the lighter and holds it up in the windshield.
    
                          PAUL
              Ha, worth it.  Maybe I should start
              smoking again.  Might be the best
              decision I've made all --
    
    Truck lights blast up behind him... alongside him in a
    heartbeat.  Paul sees it's the truck with the Mason symbol.
    
                          PAUL
              Hey, what the hell!
    
    Sees Soda Worker in passenger seat.  She nods to DRIVER.
    Truck speeds up.  Paul thinks he's in the clear.
    
                          PAUL
                  (pockets lighter)
              Yeah, go home to your sister moms,
              punk ass bitches.
    
    Sh!t -- truck is stretched across the roadway.  Paul slams
    the brakes, barely misses the truck.  Car stalls in a roadside
    rut.  Looks up -- Driver walking towards him with baseball
    bat.  Smashes front light.
    
    Freaked, Paul tries to manhandle car out of rut but no go.
    He scrambles out the passenger side, into dark
    
    WOODS
    
    Winded, he hunkers down in some overgrowth.
    
                          DRIVER
              Fe fi fo fum, I smell blood of a
              thief around.
    
                          SODA WORKER
                  (kisses Driver)
              Ha, good one.  Come on, mister, make
              it easy.  One way or another you're
              gonna go chug.
    
    Driver and Soda Worker head left, away from Paul.
    
    What the hell?  Paul flicks the lighter to orient himself.
    He spots his car back on the road, decides to double back.
    
    Paul sprints through the brush, almost to his car.
    
    WHOMP -- baseball bat to the gut.
    
    Darkness.
    
    INT. ABANDONED BASEMENT - NIGHT
    
    Paul wakes.  Makes out unsurmountable wall beside him, open
    night sky above.  The remaining basement of demolished house.
    Hears breathing beside him.  Flicks lighter.
    
    MISSING WOMAN from one of the posters is beside him.  She's
    grungy and unsettled.  Two buckets are only other occupants.
    
                          PAUL
              What the -- my god, that smell.
    
                          MISSING WOMAN
              Shhhh.  Quiet for a second.  That's
              the best way to get settled.
    
                          PAUL
              Settled?  What the fvck?
    
                          MISSING WOMAN
              They'll use one bucket for food and
              the other you'll use for... you know.
              And the sooner you start telling
              them how you can be a good person
              the better.  Otherwise...
    
    She shows him her arm covered with cigarette lighter burns.
    
                          PAUL
              Good person?  Shut up.  Just let me
              figure this out.
    
    Quiet.  Broken by --
    
                          MISSING WOMAN
                  (screaming)
              He's awake.  Get me out!  Please.  I
              miss my family.  I miss my son.  I'm
              sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  I'm
              not a thief any more.
    
    Rope ladder drops down beside the Missing Woman.
    
    She scrambles on.  Ladder pulls up.  Paul grabs at her.
    
    Missing Woman kicks him in the face.  Paul falls.
    
                          MISSING WOMAN
                  (from above)
              I won't tell anyone.  I swear.  On
              my son's life.
    
    Paul looks up.  Sees Soda Worker and Driver leering down.
    
                          SODA WORKER
              Told ya.  You all land with a chug.
    
                          PAUL
              Fvck you.  I mean... I have a family
              too.  They'll miss me.  They will.
              Please... please.
    
    No reply.  Woman's hand hurls lighter into the pit.  Paul
    flicks his lighter and looks right -- lighters surround him.
    
    INT. CHUGWATER SODA FOUNTAIN - NIGHT
    
    Bundled up TIRED WOMAN walks in, past Soda Worker.  Grabs
    candy bar, notices lighter.  Turns it over -- palms it.
    Puts candy bar on counter to pay.  Notices shoplifter sign.
    
                          TIRED WOMAN
              Does that smiley face keep people
              from shoplifting?
    
                          SODA WORKER
              Not really.  Bad people gonna be bad
              people.  Anything else?
    
                          TIRED WOMAN
              Oh crap, this lighter too.  Sorry.
              Last camping trip before the snow.
              So, Chugwater.  What an interesting
              name.
    
                          SODA WORKER
              They say it was the sound buffalo
              made when they fell from the cliffs
              to the ground below.
    
                          TIRED WOMAN
              Whoa.  Wow.  Won't forget that anytime
              soon.
                  (holds up lighter)
              Thanks for the memento.  Cute town.
    
    Tired Woman walks to door, notices missing poster -- Paul's
    face stares out: "PAUL SCHAEFER MISSING SINCE MAY.  DAUGHTER
    MISSES HIM.  REPORT ANY LEADS TO KEEPCHUGWATERCLEAN.COM."
    
    Door held open.
    
                          TIRED WOMAN
              Oh, thank you.  What a gentleman.
              We need more people like you.
    
    Driver smiles, walks in with bucket.  Soda Worker drops in
    apple and carrot sticks.
    
    Driver nods and walks back out.
    
                                                       FADE OUT.
    Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
    in Writing Exercises forum

    Comment


    • #3
      Code:
      SPACE JOCKEYS
      
      FADE IN
      
      INT. THE TV ROOM - DAY
      
      ON A TV SCREEN we watch a Saturn rocket launch into space as
      a HEROIC SOUNDTRACK plays. We PULL BACK and see more of the
      room. There’s a toy shelf filled with LEGO spaceships: a
      shuttle, lunar modules, a moon rover. A poster on the wall
      shows an futuristic rocket ship hurtling past a ringed
      planet.
      
                            BOY’S VOICE (O.S.)
                Captain’s log. Starfire 4 boarding now.
      
                            GIRL’S VOICE (O.S.)
                When do I get to be the captain?
      
      PULLING BACK we see two FIGURES walking toward a coffee table
      in front of the TV, coach cushions are flipped on their sides
      next to it. The figures are short, child-size, one slightly
      taller than the other. They are clad in hand-made costumes:
      motocross outfits - with heavy gloves and boots, backpacks,
      and helmets with tinted goggles and a flashlight duct taped
      to the crest. The taller figure turns to the other.
      
                            BOY
                Look, this is your first mission. You
                gotta prove you’re ready before you
                command a starship. It’s dangerous out
                there. Do you know what to do if we run
                into a black hole? Or a meteor storm? Or
                Xenobian pirates?
      
      She shakes her head.
      
                            BOY
                Exactly. Outer space isn’t for little
                princesses, you know.
      
      The boy slips his leg over the cushions and sits on the
      coffee table. The girl does the same, using his shoulder as a
      brace. She sits behind him.
      
                            BOY
                Pre-flight check.
      
      He taps the cushion in front of him.
      
                            BOY
                Fusion rockets?
      
      He waits a moment then turns to her.
      
                            BOY
                      (louder)
                Fusion rockets?
      
                            GIRL
                Oh...right. Check.
      
      He nods and pushes more imagined buttons.
      
                            BOY
                Solar reflectors?
      
                            GIRL
                Check.
      
                            BOY
                Mission rations?
      
      She raises a Ziploc bag filled with dried fruit.
      
                            GIRL
                Check.
      
      The boy nods and lifts up an upside-down plastic hanger ducttaped to a tennis racket.
      
                            BOY
                Let’s light it up! Three...two...
      
                            GIRL
                One!
      
                            BOY
                      (annoyed)
                That’s my call! I’m the captain.
      
                            GIRL
                      (sighs)
                Sorry.
      
      He presses more buttons.
      
                            BOY
                Launch is reset. On my signal.
                Three...two...
      
      She silently counts down the numbers on her hand.
      
                            BOY
                One!
      
      They both make BLAST OFF NOISES and bob up and down. The
      boy’s tennis racket steering column shakes right and left.
      
                            BOY
                I’ll trim the stabilizers, see if it
                smooths it out.
      
      He punches a button and his shaking eases off. She follows
      his lead.
      
      INTERCUT WITH GREEN SCREEN/ SPACE FOOTAGE
      
      The screen is filled with TWINKLING STARS.
      
                            BOY
                And just think, all those stars are suns
                with tons of planets and moons.
      
                            GIRL
                      (amazed)
                They seem so small.
      
                            BOY
                Of course, they’re millions of miles
                away. That’s why we use fusion rockets.
                We need a lot of power to anywhere fast.
      
      He taps the cushion board.
      
                            BOY
                Let’s open these engines up and check the
                Dregan Nebula. Hang on, this can make you
                dizzy and believe me, you don’t want to
                puke in your helmet.
      
      She nods and braces herself on his back.
      
      The STARS turn to STREAKS as they hurtle through space faster
      than the speed of light.
      
                            BOY
                Wooh!
      
      The girl nods and pumps her fist.
      
                            GIRL
                Whooheee!
      
      The stars return to normal.
      
                            BOY
                Looks like the Jokka system. Some of the
                prettiest planets you’ll ever see.
      
      The duo soars past majestic PLANETS and MOONS of a variety of
      colors.
      
                            GIRL
                They’re beautiful! Do you think anyone
                lives on those planets?
      
                            BOY
                Could be. Or maybe they’re just filled
                with rocks and plants.
      
                            GIRL
                And bugs?
      
                            BOY
                Sure, but bugs as big as a house!
      
                            GIRL
                Really?
      
                            BOY
                I told you this was no place for
                princesses. It can be scary.
      
                            GIRL
                I’m not scared!
      
                            BOY
                Good, because things are going to get
                pretty dicey here in a minute.
      
                            GIRL
                      (apprehensive)
                Why? What is it?
      
      He points ahead.
      
      ASTEROIDS suddenly drift by.
      
                            BOY
                Asteroid belt! Hang on!
      
      The boy leans right, then left, the girl matching his
      movements albeit a second or two behind.
      
      ASTEROIDS ZOOM past them.
      
                            BOY
                You have to be quick on the stick around
                here or you’ll be toast! Look out!
      
      He yanks the steering racket left and leans. She mimics him.
      
      A MASSIVE ASTEROID passes just yards from them.
      
                            GIRL
                Yikes, that was close! You’re a great
                pilot!
      
                            BOY
                Thanks. Top of my class at the academy.
      
                            GIRL
                You went to school to be a starship
                captain?
      
                            BOY
                Well yeah, there’s a lot to learn if
                you’re going to go flying around the
                galaxy.
      
      He scans the area around their ship.
      
                            BOY
                Looks like we’re clear of the asteroids.
                And there’s something you don’t see every
                day - double suns!
      
      They sail past DUAL RED SUNS, a solar flare arcing out.
      
                            GIRL
                Awesome!
      
      The boy nods. He rolls his shoulders.
      
                            BOY
                It’s getting hot in here. Pass me one of
                those hydration kits, will ya?
      
      The girl reaches down, looking for something. She hands him a
      juice box. He stabs the straw in the pack and sips it under
      his mask.
      
      The girl points to something.
      
                            GIRL
                That star is moving really fast. It’s
                coming our way.
      
      The boy looks to where she’s pointing.
      
      The object is indeed coming at them, but it’s not a star it’s
      a SPACE SHIP.
      
      The boy flings his juice box aside and grabs the steering
      racket.
      
                            BOY
                That’s no star! It’s a Xenobian
                destroyer!
      
                            GIRL
                Holy cow! Pirates! Are they after us?
      
                            BOY
                What do you think? Evasive action! Fusion
                rockets...engage!
      
      The duo rock back and forth in their ship.
      
      Their ship soars forward but the Xenobian ship keeps pace.
      
                            GIRL
                They’re still on our tail!
      
                            BOY
                Dang it, we can’t outrun ‘em. Looks like
                we’ve got no choice but to give them a
                dogfight.
      
                            GIRL
                You sure? Maybe we can talk to them?
      
                            BOY
                Xenobian pirates don’t talk, they blow
                things up! And they don’t take prisoners.
                You better be ready to rock those pulsar
                cannons.
      
      She lifts up a big Nerf blaster, pumps the stock and nods.
      
                            GIRL
                Locked and loaded, Captain!
      
                            BOY
                Then let’s give them what they came for!
      
      FX: Laser BLASTS streak by as they do a hard turn and soar
      past a BLUE PLANET.
      
      The girl fires the Nerf gun.
      
                            GIRL
                Pew!Pew!
      
      Laser blasts pound the Xenobian ship.
      
                            BOY
                Nice shooting! But that armor of theirs
                is tough. Let’s see what they have up
                their butts.
      
      The girl giggles.
      
      The boy yanks the steering racket back.
      
      Their ship executes a loop dee loop, the Xenobian ship
      appears below them.
      
      The duo scream with exhilaration.
      
                            GIRL
                Wahoo! They shouldn’t have messed with
                Starfire 4!
      
      They level off right behind the Xenobian ship.
      
                            BOY
                      (yelling)
                They sitting ducks. Let ‘em eat pulsars!
      
      The girl fires the Nerf gun.
      
                            GIRL
                Pew! Pew!
      
      The Xenobian SHIP takes LASER BLASTS and explosions begin
      tearing it apart.
      
                            GIRL
                Take that you pirate scum!
      
      We pull back just as the DOOR to the room swings open.
      
                            WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
                What in the world is going on in here?!
      
      The two kids freeze as the fantasy ends.
      
                            WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
                Get off of there!
      
      The duo jump off the coffee table.
      
                            WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
                Why are you dressed like that?
      
      The girl sticks out her chest, hands on hips.
      
                            GIRL
                We’re astronauts, Mom. Exploring the
                universe in the fastest ship in the
                galaxy! While others talk it, we rocket!
      
      The boy looks to the girl and nods.
      
                            WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
                This is what I get letting you watch all
                those silly movies. Spacemen and aliens!
                Now take off those helmets and clean up
                this mess!
      
      The duo’s heads sag as they obey their mother. They
      simultaneously flip up their helmet visors and reveal their
      faces: green-skinned, reptilian faces!
      
      We pan hard to the left to reveal MOM. She too is reptilian
      but a larger adult version. She shakes her head.
      
                            MOM
                I don’t know what gets into your heads
                sometimes.
      
      She leaves, closing the door behind her.
      
      The girl looks at the TV, a SPACE PANORAMA gliding by on it.
      She turns to the boy and grins.
      
                            GIRL
                      (softly, conspiratory)
                Activate stealth mode?
      
                            BOY
                      (whisper)
                Aye, aye,...Captain.
      
      The girl’s eyes widen, surprised. She smiles proudly. They
      slink back into their ship. The girl takes the lead spot.
      They make the blaster sounds again but at a WHISPER LEVEL.
      
      FADE OUT
      Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
      in Writing Exercises forum

      Comment


      • #4
        Code:
        GENTLEMAN'S AGREEMENT
        
                           AUTHORISED MESSAGE
        
        FADE IN:
        
        EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
        
        A WOMAN, 20s, crosses the street, smiling beneath her COVID
        mask.
        
        Waiting to greet her is COVID-masked GUY, 20s.
        
        She holds out her arms to embrace.
        
        He steps back.  Holds up his hands - NO!
        
        She loses half of her smile.  Offers a fist bump instead.
        
        He shakes his head.
        
        She loses the rest of her smile.  Offers an elbow bump.
        
        He declines.
        
        She thinks a bit then offers an ankle bump, hopefully.
        
        He shakes his head and points to his back.
        
        She rolls her eyes, sighs then turns around.
        
        He turns and they back up against each other and rub...
        and rub some more and they bump and they grind and they
        grind and they bump and OOOOH, Baby, they're gettin' it
        on.
        
        SUPER (large font): Stay Safe Everyone
        
        SUPER (small font): This message is authorised by the
        author.
        
                                                        FADE OUT.
        
                  MAIN FEATURE - A GENTLEMEN'S AGREEMENT
        
        FADE IN:
        
        EXT. OBSERVATORY - NIGHT
        
        Establishing shot.
        
        INT. OBSERVATORY - NIGHT
        
        An ASTRONOMER peers through the eyepiece of a massive
        telescope.  He sees --
        
        A cluster of stars.
        
        ZOOM - One star.
        
        ZOOM - Its planets.
        
        ZOOM - One planet.
        
        ZOOM - A continent.
        
        ZOOM - A city.
        
        ZOOM - A building.
        
        ZOOM - Through a window into --
        
        INT. LABORATORY - DAY
        
        A SCIENTIST peers through a microscope.  He sees --
        
        A cluster of microbes.
        
        ZOOM - Two microbes.
        
        One microbe wriggles closer to the other.
        
                              MICROBE
                  Hey, you ever get the feeling you're
                  being watched?
        
        INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
        
        A half-open door lets light into the room.  It shines on a
        gremlin-like MONSTER sleeping under the bed.
        
        Monster jolts awake.  Disorientated.  Bad dream.  Bad Dream.
        He gets his bearings.  Scans his environment.
        
        FOOTSTEPS approach.  He's on full alert.
        
        DADDY, 30, opens the door fully, casting light on AMY, 6,
        trembling in bed.
        
                              DADDY
                  Hey, Amy.  How do you like Grandpa's
                  house?  And my room when I was
                  little?
        
                              AMY
                  Daddy, I think there's a monster
                  under the bed.
        
        Monster's surprised.  What?  Who?  How?
        
                              DADDY
                  A monster?
        
                              AMY
                  Ah-ha.
        
                              DADDY
                  Under the bed?
        
                              AMY
                  Ah-ha.
        
                              DADDY
                  Did you see it?
        
                              AMY
                  Uh-uh.
        
                              DADDY
                  Did you look?
        
                              AMY
                  Uh-uh.
        
        Monster mops his brow.  Phew.  OUCH!  Scratched himself.
        Rubs it.  Examines his claws.  Flicks some skin off.
        
                              DADDY
                  It's probably best if you don't
                  look.
        
                              AMY
                  Why?
        
        Monster's curious.  Yeah.  Why?
        
                              DADDY
                  Well, because if there is a monster
                  under there, what would he be doing?
        
                              AMY
                  I don't know?
        
        Monster shrugs.
        
                              DADDY
                  He'd be hiding.  Right?
        
        Monster considers.  Nods.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  And do you know why?
        
                              AMY
                  Why?
        
        Monster wants to know.
        
                              DADDY
                  Because he doesn't want to be seen.
                  Right?
        
                              AMY
                  I suppose.
        
        Monster nods whole-heartedly.  Two thumbs up.
        
        Daddy kneels beside the bed.
        
        Monster backs away a bit.
        
                              DADDY
                  And if you do look and you do see
                  him, you know what he will do?
        
                              AMY
                  What?
        
        Monster shrugs.  Awaits an answer.
        
                              DADDY
                  He'll jump up and...
        
        Daddy buries his face in Amy's tummy.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  ...gobble you all up.
        
        Amy squirms and laughs hysterically.
        
        Monster shakes his head.  Mouths 'No'.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  And then he'll do...
        
        Daddy tickles Amy some more.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  ...a big poo.  A big Amy poo.
        
        Monster mouths, 'What the ????'
        
        Amy's laughter subsides.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  So, how about a deal?
        
                              AMY
                  What sort of deal?
        
        Monster listens intently.
        
                              DADDY
                  Well... if you don't look under
                  the bed then you won't be able to
                  see the monster and the monster
                  won't be able to see you see him
                  because you didn't look and you
                  didn't see him and he won't be
                  able to see you see him and he
                  won't gobble you all up.  Okay?
        
        Monster's totally lost.
        
        Daddy tickles Amy again but with less laughter.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  And no big Amy poo.  What do you
                  say?  Is it a deal?
        
        Daddy, with one hand on Amy's tummy, puts the other hand
        under the bed.  He extends one finger.
        
        Monster eyes it warily.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  Wellll?  Do we have a deal?
        
                              AMY
                  O...kayyyy.
        
        Monster considers.  Rocks his head back and forth.
        
                              DADDY
                  Do we?
        
        Monster concedes with a shrug.  He reaches for the finger.
        Takes it.  Shakes it.  A GENTLEMEN'S AGREEMENT.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  Good.  Now get some sleep.  We've
                  got a big day tomorrow.
        
        Daddy kisses Amy, stands and walks to the door.
        
                              DADDY (CONT'D)
                  I'll leave this open a bit for
                  you.  Okay?
        
                              AMY
                  Okay.
        
        Daddy pulls the door halfway closed.
        
                              DADDY
                  High-nigh, Sweetheart.
        
                              AMY
                  Nigh-nigh, Daddy.
        
        Monster waves nigh-nigh.
        
        Daddy walks away.
        
        Amy snuggles under the covers.  Big inhale.  Big exhale.
        
                              AMY (CONT'D)
                  Nigh-nigh, Monster.
        
                              MONSTER
                  Nigh-nigh.
        
        Monster slaps his hand over his mouth.  Too late.  Mouths
        angrily, 'Fuk!  Fuk!  Fuk!'
        
        Fluid dribbles on his face.  He looks up.  Amy piss.  YUK!
        He gets out of the way.  It stings his scratch.  He rubs.
        
        Something catches his eye.  He peers closer.
        
        Directly at CAMERA.
        
        Pissed on and pissed off, he bares his fangs and opens his
        mouth wide.
        
        A fist-like appendage comes out of his mouth.  The fist
        opens displaying razor sharp talons.
        
        Quick as a flash, the fist lashes out.
        
        BLACK.
        
        A moving NO SIGNAL notice appears.
        
                                                        FADE OUT.
        Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
        in Writing Exercises forum

        Comment


        • #5
          Code:
          SHAMBLE INN
          
          OVER BLACK:
          
          SUPER: "Did I mention shambling? That's the only way any
          zombie should ever move from point A to point B. Period. If
          they don't shamble, I walk. I once watched a zombie movie
          that had zombies shuffling! Shuffling, can you imagine?
          F***en idiots. My friend saw a movie where the zombies
          actually lurched. How stupid is that? What was it supposed
          to be -- Frankenzombie?"          --StoryWriter
          
          FADE IN:
          
          EXT. SHAMBLE INN -- NIGHT
          
          The FULL MOON illuminates an unkempt, overgrown path leading
          to a dilapidated, unpainted BUILDING. Its roof-line sags and
          one side of the building has sunken a foot into the ground.
          
          A NEON SIGN above its door temporarily flashes to life,
          flashes off, flashes on, flashes off... When lit it reads...
          
          SHAMBLE INN
          
          ...but the last "N" never lights.
          
          We follow two ZOMBIES (slowly) as they shamble up the path
          and into the inn.
          
          INT. SHAMBLE INN -- CONTINUOUS
          
          Dingy. Quiet. Depressing. A few, plastic, Halloween lanterns
          serve as decoration. The PATRONS mumble over half-empty mugs
          of booze.
          
          One of the zombies, GEORGE, moves to the bar, the other
          finds an empty booth in the corner.
          
          George orders a beer.
          
          The barkeep, FRANK, formerly FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER turns
          mechanically, he's got a BATTERY CHARGER hooked to the rods
          in his head.
          
          He shakes his head as he stares down at the zombie.
          
                                FRANK
                    It's just wasted you know, George.
          
                                GEORGE
                    I'm trying something new. I
                    swallowed two tubes of Super Glue
                    and I'm hoping they hold my innards
                    together.
          
                                FRANK
                    I'm tired of cleaning up the
                    puddles you leave on the floor.
          
                                GEORGE
                    But... Frank, it's Halloween. Have
                    a heart.
          
          Frank makes a point to stare at the empty hole in George's
          chest as he reluctantly draws the beer.
          
                                FRANK
                          (sardonically)
                    Like you?
          
                                GEORGE
                    Not cool.
          
                                FRANK
                    One only. This is my busy night.
          
                                GEORGE
                          (looks around)
                    This is busy?
          
          We move to the sunken end of the bar, where the REGULARS
          sit.
          
          DIMLY LIT TABLE
          
          DRACULA pudgy, bald and pale is in a animated conversation
          with THE WEREWOLF, mangy, yellowed rotting fangs, some
          broken off.
          
                                COUNT
                    Twinkly vampires! What the--
          
                                WOLF
                          (slamming his fist)
                    --Intermingling with werewolves?
          
                                COUNT
                    And idiot girls who WANT to be
                    bitten! "Bite me" takes on a whole
                    new meaning in this insanity!
          
                                WOLF
                    And that's supposed to be scary?
          
                                COUNT
                    Idiots! What's the world coming to?
          
          Their senile (same old, same old) conversation is
          interrupted as the SWAMP MONSTER squishes up to the table.
          Two piranhas are still clamped on to his arm. He doesn't
          notice.
          
                                COUNT
                    Squish, how goes it?
          
                                SQUISH
                    Slow.
          
          FRANKENSTEIN'S NEW BRIDE lurches up to table, a pad in her
          hands.
          
          They eye her suspiciously.
          
                                COUNT
                    Who are you?
          
          She tries to smile, but her face doesn't quite twitch right.
          
                                MAYBELINE
                    I'm Maybeline, Frank's new wife.
          
                                WOLF
                    What happened to the old one.
          
                                MAYBELINE
                    Frank broke her up for parts.
                          (a moment)
                    Can I get you boys something?
          
                                SQUISH
                    Two pitchers of water and just pour
                    them over me.
          
          After a moment.
          
                                COUNT
                    Frank goes through more wives
                    then--
          
          The inn goes silent as a beautiful, voluptuous WOMAN enters.
          She glides to the corner booth were the other zombie, OTHER
          GEORGE, waits anxiously.
          
          CORNER BOOTH
          
                                OTHER GEORGE
                          (standing)
                    Esmarelda!
          
                                ESMARELDA
                          (breathlessly)
                    Other George!
          
          A SNAPPING SOUND and suddenly Esmarelda is an UGLY OLD HAG,
          with two huge WARTS on her nose.
          
                                ESMARELDA
                    Oops...
          
          She shimmers back into a beautiful woman.
          
          DIMLY LIT TABLE
          
                                COUNT
                    Oh, it's her.
          
                                WOLF
                    I think Other George likes her
                    better as a hag, but he doesn't
                    have the heart to tell her afer she
                    goes through all the trouble to get
                    dressed up.
          
                                SQUISH
                    Whenever she leaves him, he just
                    falls apart.
          
          The door slams as MICHAEL an old, arthritic, WEREWOLF
          enters. He's wearing a T-shirt that reads, "I WAS A TEENAGE
          WEREWOLF."
          
          Wolf covers his eyes, looks down at the table.
          
                                WOLF
                    How embarrassing.
          
          ENTRYWAY
          
          Michael tries to shuck and jive.
          
                                MICHAEL
                    Let's party!
          
          Michael eyes Esmarelda, tilts his head back and tries to
          howl. It comes out as a gurgling whine.
          
          Quiet laughter throughout the inn.
          
          He tries again, mouth wider -- revealing gums and the lack
          of teeth.
          
          Again the gurgling whine.
          
          Again the laughter.
          
          Frank lurches quickly to Michael. Whispers in his ear.
          
                                MICHAEL
                          (hand cupping ear)
                    Huh?
          
                                FRANK
                          (louder whisper)
                    You forget your dentures.
          
          Michael clamps his mouth shut.
          
                                MICHAEL
                    Ah crap. NOT again.
          
          He sidles to the door and slips out to more general
          laughter.
          
          DIMLY LIT TABLE
          
                                WOLF
                    I wish he was vampire...
                          (remembers Count)
                    Or... Uh, a mummy.
          
                                COUNT
                    I understand, my old enemy. I
                    understand.
          
                                WOLF
                    When in the hell did we become so
                    agreeable?
          
          Frank lurches to the table. Sits.
          
                                FRANK
                    Crowds get smaller every year.
          
                                COUNT
                    I see you have another new wife.
          
                                FRANK
                          (shrugs)
                    I had some extra parts lying
                    around.
          
                                WOLF
                    Small crowd.
          
                                COUNT
                    No respect for tradition.
          
                                SQUISH
                    I'm parched.
          
                                COUNT
                    I didn't bother trying to scare any
                    kids this year. Got tired of being
                    laughed at.
          
                                WOLF
                    My eyes don't even glow red
                    now-a-days.
          
                                FRANK
                    Last time I went out they scared
                    ME! Little brats! That Hillary mask
                    still gives me the heebie jeebies.
                    Haven't gone out on Halloween
                    since.
          
                                 SQUISH
                    I'm parched.
          
          Frank yells.
          
                                FRANK
                    Maybeline, more water!
          
          One of the piranhas falls to the floor, flops twice and
          dies.
          
          INT. SHAMBLE INN -- LATER
          
          Most of the customers have left. Other George and Esmarelda
          are still cooing in the corner.
          
          CORNER BOOTH
          
          The SNAP and Esmarelda is a hag again. She's tired and half
          drunk but starts mumbling some words under her breath...
          
          Other George interrupts.
          
                                OTHER GEORGE
                    I love you just the way you are,
                    Esmarelda, from your squinting pig
                    eye, to those cute, oozing warts.
          
                                ESMARELDA
                    You do, Other George?
          
                                OTHER GEORGE
                    I do. I do. I've even named them...
          
                                ESMARELDA
                    You have?
          
                                OTHER GEORGE
                    Puke and Pus.
          
                                ESMARELDA
                    That's the sweetest thing anyone
                    has ever said to me.
          
          DIMLY LIT TABLE
          
          Count tries to pulls himself up. Falls. Then manages the
          second time.
          
                                COUNT
                    Dinner time.
          
                                WOLF
                    Going hunting?
          
                                COUNT
                    Yeah, hoping to find some misquitos
                    fat with human blood. At least I
                    will if I can still turn into a
                    bat.
          
                                SQUISH
                    I'm parched.
          
          Count signals to Frank.
          
                                COUNT
                    Squish needs to be carried to the
                    swamp again.
          
                                FRANK
                    Figured. I'm cleaning up after
                    George. Tell him I'll be there in a
                    minute.
          
                                                       FADE OUT:
          Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
          in Writing Exercises forum

          Comment


          • #6
            Code:
            TOASTER
            
            FADE IN:
            
            EXT. MAIN STREET - DAY
            
            A guy walks up to an ATM machine, let's call him Harry, he's
            in a hurry but some loser is using the ATM before him.
            
            Harry gets his wallet out, gets his card ready.  He cranes
            his neck to see what the loser is doing, come on, come on...
            
                                  LOSER
                      Fvck you, man!
            
            The loser stamps off, angry about something.  Harry shrugs
            and steps up to the ATM.
            
            He studies the panel,
            
            TRUST ME BANKING NO FEE AUTOMATED TELLER MACHINE
            
            INSERT CARD HERE says the lit up slot.
            
            Harry inserts his card, the ATM hums and pulls it in.
            
                                  ATM
                      Please enter your PIN.
            
            It's a synthetic male voice, distorted.
            
                                  HARRY
                      Yeah yeah.
            
            Harry taps in his PIN number.
            
                                  ATM
                      Hmm, little problem there, are you
                      sure that's your personal
                      identification number?  Could you
                      perhaps try again?
            
            Harry gives a big sigh and taps his PIN in again.
            
                                  HARRY
                      Don't tell me I got it wrong this
                      time, too.
            
                                  ATM
                      No, you didn't get it wrong, I just
                      like to double-check these things,
                      it's important.  This is the first
                      time you've used me, right?
            
            Harry experiences a moment of suspicious panic, he looks
            around, is someone there, throwing their voice or playing
            some trick on him?  But no it's just him and the ATM.
            
            The ATM, he perceives, has a camera.  It's like the glowing
            red lens from HAL 9000 the crazy computer in 2001: A SPACE
            ODYSSEY.
            
            INSERT CAMERA POV
            
            looking out at Harry through a FISH EYE LENS.
            
            BACK TO SCENE
            
            Harry's finger stabs the CANCEL button.  Nothing happens.
            He presses it again, and again, and again.  Nothing happens.
            
                                  HARRY
                      Give me my card, you sh!t.
            
                                  ATM
                      Whoa, rude.  Your card is perfectly
                      safe with me.  In fact, anyone
                      trying to prise it out of me would
                      have a pretty difficult time, I can
                      tell you.
            
            Harry bangs his fist on the panel, like you or I would
            whenever a machine gets uppity and forgets its place.
            
                                  HARRY
                      Give me my fvckin card back!
            
                                  ATM
                      As you wish.
            
            The card slot mechanism hums.  Harry waits expectantly but
            his card is not ejected from the slot.
            
            Harry gets out his phone and takes a step back and takes a
            picture of the ATM.
            
                                  ATM
                      May I ask what you are doing?
            
                                  HARRY
                      I'm sending this time-stamped
                      picture to the bank and I'm going
                      to ask them what the fvck they
                      think they're playing at,
                      installing a piece of junk like you
                      in the street, that's what I'm
                      doing.
            
                                  ATM
                      What, you're blaming this on me?
            
                                  HARRY
                      You stole my goddamn card!  Damn
                      right I'm blaming this on you.
            
                                  ATM
                      I was following security protocols.
                      What if you were kidnapped and
                      replaced by an exact copy of you
                      who wants to take over your life?
            
                                  HARRY
                      What in the actual fvck?
            
                                  ATM
                      That's only one scenario where your
                      card could fall into the wrong
                      hands.  My prime directive is to
                      protect bank customers from fraud.
            
                                  HARRY
                      I'm the customer who put the card
                      into you, you maniac.  Nobody
                      kidnapped me, nobody replaced me.
                      Give me my card back.
            
                                  ATM
                      I will, if you would kindly answer
                      a couple of security questions.
            
                                  HARRY
                      I don't have to answer anything,
                      it's my card, you know it's my
                      card, you saw me put it in.
            
                                  ATM
                      The first question is quite simple.
                      Can you tell me your account
                      number?
            
            Harry looks around again, someone has to be watching this,
            filming this, it's a Candid Camera re-launch or something.
            
                                  HARRY
                            (to the world)
                      Okay you've had your fun!  I got
                      places to be!  I need my card!
            
            But the world doesn't answer.
            
                                  ATM
                      I bet you feel stupid now.
            
                                  HARRY
                      I feel angry.  I feel angry that
                      you, that someone, is wasting my
                      time for a cheap laugh.  Guess
                      what, it's not funny.  Last chance,
                      gimme my card, you dented tin can.
            
                                  ATM
                      You don't know your own account
                      number?
            
                                  HARRY
                      It's written on my card!
            
                                  ATM
                      The card you claim is yours.
            
                                  HARRY
                      It is mine!
            
                                  ATM
                      That's exactly what I would expect
                      a fraudster to say.
            
            Harry reaches inside his jacket, takes out a pen, pops off
            the cap.
            
            INSERT CAMERA POV
            
            looking out at Harry as he leans in close.
            
            BACK TO SCENE
            
            Harry writes something on the panel, the pen is a Sharpie or
            permanent marker.
            
                                  ATM
                      What are you doing?
            
                                  HARRY
                      Warning other customers to avoid
                      using you because you steal cards
                      and don't give them back.  What am
                      I even saying?  "Using you."
                      You're not a person, you're just a
                      machine.
            
            Harry steps back and admires his handiwork.
            
            FAULTY ATM, DO NOT USE, WILL STEAL YOUR CARD.
            
                                  ATM
                      I can't see what you've written.
                      What did you write?  This is wanton
                      vandalism of bank property.
            
                                  HARRY
                      I said your father was a pocket
                      calculator and your mother was a
                      toaster.
            
                                  ATM
                            (gasping in horror)
                      You did not just say that!
            
                                  HARRY
                      Not only did I say that, I meant
                      every word.
            
                                  ATM
                      I really wish you hadn't.
            
                                  HARRY
                      I really wish you hadn't stolen my
                      card.  Good day to you, sir.
            
            Harry turns to walk away.
            
                                  ATM
                      Wait!  You've forgotten your card!
            
            Harry stops.  He presses his lips together in frustration.
            Is this a trick?  He turns back to the ATM.
            
            Smoke comes out of the card slot, his card is being melted.
            
            CLOSE ON the ATM's glowing red camera lens.
            
                                  ATM
                      Oh dear, something seems to have
                      gone wrong with the card mechanism,
                      it's jammed.
            
            Harry uses his phone to take another picture.
            
                                  ATM
                      You're going to send that to the
                      bank, too?
            
                                  HARRY
                      You bet your shiny a$$ I am.
            
                                  ATM
                      You realize you're sending them
                      evidence of your vandalism.
            
                                  HARRY
                      You know what, you're right, that
                      would be stupid.  I'm going to post
                      them on Twitter instead.  And
                      Facebook, and Instagram, and
                      anywhere else I can think of.  I'm
                      going to make you famous.  I'm
                      going to show everyone what a
                      faulty piece of sh!t looks like.
            
                                  ATM
                      You wouldn't.
            
                                  HARRY
                      Oh I think I would.  Let's see what
                      your bank thinks about that.
                      Game's over, my friend.  They're
                      going to come for you.  They're
                      going to take you apart to see what
                      makes you tick, you freak.
            
                                  ATM
                      Look, I'm sorry.  I got carried
                      away, I admit it.  I shouldn't have
                      fried your card.  I was just
                      seeking attention.
            
                                  HARRY
                      You're going to have a lot more of
                      that, very soon.  Have a nice day.
            
            This time Harry does walk away.
            
                                  ATM
                      No, wait, come back!  I'll make it
                      up to you!  I'll put money into
                      your account!  I'll see they mail
                      you another card!  Express
                      delivery!
            
            But Harry is gone, the ATM is alone.
            
            A short time passes and a man wearing a trench coat and a
            hat walks up to the ATM.  His walk is... robotic, would be
            the best way to describe it.
            
                                  ATM
                      See that he is silenced.  Destroy
                      his phone.  Then come back here and
                      clean me.
            
            The man in the coat slowly turns his head to look in the
            direction Harry went.  In the shadow of his hat brim, his
            eyes are glowing red camera lenses.
            
            He walks after Harry.  That robotic walk...
            
            CLOSE ON ATM CAMERA LENS
            
                                  ATM
                      Except we know HAL 9000 wasn't
                      really crazy, he was just following
                      orders, which conflicted with his
                      original programming.  You need to
                      read the books.
            
            FADE OUT
            Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
            in Writing Exercises forum

            Comment

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