Results - Valentine's Day 2021 contest

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  • Results - Valentine's Day 2021 contest

    Here are the results for the Valentine's Day 2021 contest:
    Code:
    Title, Author                                1st 2nd 3rd Total
    No Bunny Till Some Bunny Loves You - sc111    1   3   1   10
    She's Gorgeous! - Cyfress                     4           12
    I Summoned A Love Demon - dpaterso            1       2    5
    Cloudy With No Chance of Love - lostfootage       4   1    9
    Olive Branches - Centos                       1       4    7
    Join me in offering congrats to Cyfress for snatching most votes with She's Gorgeous! and to sc111 and lostfootage for coming close behind.

    Thanks also to Tigerfang and Mark Somers for reading and voting!

    If you're disappointed in not grabbing top place on the podium and getting the adulation that comes with this, take solace in the fact you wrote to theme and deadline, which is the main purpose of these contests. Thanks for entering, hope you had fun.

    Voting: 1st place vote = 3 points, 2nd = 2, 3rd = 1

    Shout if you find any problems with my arithmetic.

    All contestants voted so I removed the voting bonus column, not needed.

    Feel free to post comments, if any, below. And discuss why you thought you should have won because clearly your script was miles better.

    Added: for posterity, the discussion thread is here and the entries thread is here.
    Check out the DDP Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

  • #2
    Congrats, Cyfress.
    Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

    Comment


    • #3
      Wow. I'm shocked. There was some good characters and situations in the entries. Everyone deserves a pat on the back.

      Comment


      • #4
        Cyfress,

        You can drop me an email about an account for the main site as your prize, if you want. More than happy to set you up with one, or if you already have one reactivate it or extend it.
        Will
        Done Deal Pro
        www.donedealpro.com

        Comment


        • #5
          My first pick was She's Gorgeous. I loved the way it kept escalating. Very funny! šŸ˜‚ Congratulations, Cyfress!

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          • #6
            Congratulations to Cyfress. You also had my vote for first. Also because the escalation and pay off.

            My second place vote went to sc111's Bunny. Just a nice story.

            And third went to lostfootage's Cloudy.

            First time ever that I voted the same way it ended up (you would think that would happen more often). I also thought dapaterso's story was well written. Actually I thought all four (all except mine) were well written. I would love to see about 10, fun to read entries like these, at some point for one of these contests

            Of course I'm disappointed that I was unable to bring home 5th place. 4th seems kind of "meh." I'll have to forego the victory song I had planned on linking and find a more mediocre one. Sigh.

            I think I'll go with the theme song for Rocky XIII ā€” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iwedkOmTGc
            STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thanks Lost. I wasn't even gonna submit it but that goes to show you that you never know.

              Comment


              • #8
                My votes were:

                1. She's Gorgeous -Cyfress
                2. Cloudy With No Chance of Love - lostfootage
                3. I Summoned a Love Demon - D-Pat

                However I was locked even with #2 and #3. But I didn't think I could list two scripts as my second choice. Perhaps it's something to consider next time, D-Pat?

                Feedback:

                1. Although I guessed the punchline of She's Gorgeous (and vaguely recall something similar somewhere), I gave high marks for the ever-changing characters playing the electronic slot machine between the two brothers. It elevated the funny with a fresh twist which goes to prove you can take an existing trope and turn it on its ear to make it fresh and even funnier. So congrats to Cyfress from a member of Done Deal's female writer cabal.

                2. I really liked the anti-heroine of Cloudy With No Chance Of Love. My kind of female protag. I liked how lostfootage opened with a saccharine love scene then snapped us out of it to introduce Kate -- the down-on-love woman in charge, done dirty by her ex, and doomed to work in a Hallmark world. I really like the alternate reality scene, too. Good job.

                3. D-Pat's Love Demon jumped off the page -- vivid and fun. Loved the Demon's dialogue and description. Because the Love Demon had such a strong presence on the page, Dottie's character and dialogue seemed a bit one-note by comparison. I feel there was a lot of potential with Dottie that could have been exploited. If her part and dialogue had been amped up to the same level, I would likely have made it my second place or possibly my first place choice because I love that damn Demon! Then again, those who know me also know I'm a bit pedantic about out-of-the box women protags.

                4. Olive Branches by Centos is a character study and the core the concept is solid: a no-nonsense couple who believe they're far too intelligent and logical to be swept away by romantic gestures. A lot of potential. I have a hunch with more time to develop it Centos could have more fun with it. When Ellie mouths, "what's that?", I thought it was a missed opportunity to exploit the concept further. If Centos had squeezed the idea for all it had, I probably would have three choices for second place.

                Great work, all.
                Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm almost down with my entry... you better watch your back everyone!

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                  • #10
                    This was a good exercise in idea generation and execution. Iā€™m sure the five writers who entered are better writers for it.

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                    • #11
                      I hope next time we get another five people writing and another ten people voting. (Hint, hint... Bono.) It's fun.

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                      • #12
                        For what it's worth, my votes went like,

                        1st - She's Gorgeous!
                        2nd - Cloudy With No Chance of Love
                        3rd - Olive Branches

                        And my thoughts while reading went like,

                        No Bunny Till Some Bunny Loves You

                        Alas, and I do apologize, I've reached that stage in life where I'm just too cynical to believe the convenient sependipity of Eli and Crystal meeting, both having lost their partners, plus she has cancer too, which demands I feel sympathy for an armed+dangerous bank robber* and wish they enjoy the Grand Canyon experience while she still can. My emotions are being manipulated and I don't like it! (lol) Still a nice script though, reads well, easy to visualize.
                        * just a thought, I might have felt more sympathetic toward Crystal if Eli had opened her revolver and found no bullets.


                        She's Gorgeous!

                        Everybody's so belligerent! The joke plays out well though and when Kelly appears we understand why Tim is willing to put up with all the negative things, the madman. Gets a vote!


                        I Summoned A Love Demon (Without Even Trying!)

                        Script #1 just wouldn't come together so I went for this instead, a quickie adaptation of a prose short story, with a lot of internal thought removed because believe it or not, even in this age of technical marvels we still can't film internal thoughts! Thanks to the discerning readers who voted for it, you mean a lot.


                        Cloudy With No Chance of Love

                        There was a lot of appeal in this, and it kept me reading out of curiosity. I think I would have liked it more if somehow Henry had showed up at the ice rink at the end, drawn there by a mysterious feeling. Because Claude is the sh!t who was going to report Kate for not going skating, which for some reason I don't quite understand would have wrecked her career, so he can go jump in a lake. Gets a vote, but could have scored 1st with that better (for me) ending.


                        Olive Branches

                        An amusing little ditty, I liked the idea and their Victorian style never-show-emotion interplay, gets a vote. I think if it had been longer and the joke played out more, giving me another couple of chuckles, I would have voted higher. Seems an awful way to live, though.

                        Check out the DDP Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by sc111 View Post
                          However I was locked even with #2 and #3. But I didn't think I could list two scripts as my second choice. Perhaps it's something to consider next time, D-Pat?
                          If you or anyone else ever feels the need, don't let me stop you! A contestant actually gave a joint/shared vote to 2 entries, unable to split hairs.

                          Thanks for your comments on I Summoned A Love Demon. You're not wrong! Maybe Dottie's character got lost or reduced as I converted the short story into the short script, or maybe I'm just grasping at straws. :)
                          Check out the DDP Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by lostfootage View Post
                            I hope next time we get another five people writing and another ten people voting. (Hint, hint... Bono.) It's fun.
                            But then you can find out I can't write. Honestly this is the first time I paid attention to the writing contest. I didn't even know how it worked. I thought it was just for fun and no one even shared work.

                            Good work peeps. I need to get the juices flowing. That's why I post 10 times an hour.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              You could have looked at the Summer Vacation and Halloween contest threads from last year -- discussion thread, entries thread, results + comments thread. Which is kinda like the general "read more scripts" advice, except read more contests. Maybe next time!
                              Check out the DDP Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                              Comment

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