RESULTS - DDP Logline Throwdown III - Horror

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  • RESULTS - DDP Logline Throwdown III - Horror

    Posting the results a bit early. Please let me know of any errors or omissions.

    The top three vote getters for our horror logline throwdown were runaway winners. That said, I received a lot of feedback from voters stating that this field of loglines was the strongest yet. Congratulations to all the writers who entered, and a big THANK YOU to everyone who voted!

    Please feel free to post your thoughts here about the loglines.
    1st Place

    Bono - (#11) THE BREAK UP CHALLENGE — A new social media challenge, where teens break up with their significant others in horrible ways and post the video online, takes a deadly turn when kids start being killed. A recently dumped high school senior suspects her ex boyfriend may be behind the murders. (21 points)

    2nd Place

    Jeff_Lowell - (#1) HORRORLAND (Feature) - Ghost Hunters reality shows, priests performing exorcisms, kids with cameras everywhere... the few remaining undead take up residence in a Haunted House exhibit, hiding in plain sight. When a paranormal expert discovers their existence, will they be able to avoid being killed a second (and final) time? (14 points)

    3rd Place

    Prezzy - (#2) OH, DAHLIA! (Feature; horror/comedy) - In the wake of the horrific Black Dahlia murder in 1947, eight legendary Hollywood celebrities connected to the dead actress gather to find the killer among their ranks before they all meet similar gruesome fates. (11 points)

    Honorable Mention

    Zetiago - (#8) INVASIVE - A 50’s style picturesque town, untouched by modern technologies, is disrupted when a lone traveler arrives from the border lands. Weary of outsiders and blissfully ignorant of life beyond their borders, the town and traveler must work together to fight off a roving band of savage marauders bent on the town’s destruction. (8 points)


    Complete Voting Results

    1 HORRORLAND (Feature) - Ghost Hunters reality shows, priests performing exorcisms, kids with cameras everywhere... the few remaining undead take up residence in a Haunted House exhibit, hiding in plain sight. When a paranormal expert discovers their existence, will they be able to avoid being killed a second (and final) time? JeffLowell - 14 points

    2 OH, DAHLIA! (Feature; horror/comedy) - In the wake of the horrific Black Dahlia murder in 1947, eight legendary Hollywood celebrities connected to the dead actress gather to find the killer among their ranks before they all meet similar gruesome fates. Prezzy - 11 points

    3 THREE MILE WOOD (Feature) - A group of teens try freeing a friend from under the domineering will of her witch of a mother only to discover that she is actually a witch: and a deal her ancestor made with the devil is the real threat. Southern_land - 4 points

    4 DELICIOUS (Short) – Hiking in the dark after his car breaks down on a rural mountain highway, a food critic known for bankrupting restaurants with his blistering reviews, stumbles upon Delicious – a ghost town with a mysterious 24-hour diner that claims its fresh-ground breakfast sausage is to die for. bioprofessor - 6 points

    5 VACAY (Feature) - College spring breakers are deserted on a tropical island with a cannibal castaway marooned there long ago. realphipps - 5 points

    6 DIABLO (Feature) - A grieving man spearheads a rescue operation on an uninhabited planet only to enter a hunt against genetically-modified beasts that force him to regain his will to live. figment - 1 point

    7 THE MONSTER WITHIN (Feature) - A scrawny bullied high school Student determined to defend himself discovers a mysterious martial arts app that trains him to use fearsome defensive moves. But a glitch in the program morphs him into a human Monster at night who tortures bullies before feasting on them.

    When the Monster begins to stalk innocent teenagers, including the girl he secretly loves, the Student must destroy the Monster within.
    jonpiper - 7 points

    8 INVASIVE - A 50’s style picturesque town, untouched by modern technologies, is disrupted when a lone traveler arrives from the border lands. Weary of outsiders and blissfully ignorant of life beyond their borders, the town and traveler must work together to fight off a roving band of savage marauders bent on the town’s destruction. zetiago - 8 points

    9 OMG MY BOSS IS A WEREWOLF, I KNOW, RIGHT? (TV Pilot) - Suddenly unemployed and desperate for money, office clerk Jane applies for a job as a seedy private investigator's secretary, but her interview isn't even done when someone tries to shoot her potential boss full of holes, which is only the beginning of a wild adventure involving a missing catwalk model and a deadly gang of mobsters who howl at the moon, leading Jane to suspect her hairy-handed employer might be hiding more than just his furries porn collection. dpaterso - 7 points

    10 SHAKES - The inhabitants of a small town are visited by a charismatic outsider who is very entertaining. People start to get sick, with some dying, and the outsider is the only one who can help them, but at a dreadful cost to their children. Mark Somers - 5 points

    11 THE BREAK UP CHALLENGE - A new social media challenge, where teens break up with their significant others in horrible ways and post the video online, takes a deadly turn when kids start being killed. A recently dumped high school senior suspects her ex boyfriend may be behind the murders. Bono - 21 points

    12 BAD PENNY (feature) - When an unscrupulous businessman's wife disappears before signing the papers finalizing their bitter divorce, he worries that she's discovered assets he has hidden from her, and is scheming to take him to the cleaners all over again. He prowls her old haunts, determined to end the marriage the old-fashioned way, unaware that she's already dead... and that she's looking for him. Mitchell McLean - 4 points

    13 THE DEMON AND FATHER JOHN (Feature) - A Catholic priest battling profound loneliness becomes the target of a relentless, cunning demon who will stop at nothing to escape Hell and enter Heaven. ZAZluvr - 3 points

  • #2
    Congrats to Bono and all the winners!

    Great loglines here. Maybe someone lands a deal with one of these.

    Comment


    • #3
      The nitty, gritty details...
      Logline Number 1st tally 2nd tally 3rd tally 1st votes 2nd votes 3rd votes Aggregate 1st Aggregate 2nd Aggregate 3rd Total Aggregate Score
      1 X X X X X X 3 2 1 9 4 1 14
      2 X X X X X X 2 1 3 6 2 3 11
      3 X X X 1 2 0 2 2 4
      4 X X 2 6 0 0 6
      5 X X X 2 1 0 4 1 5
      6 X 1 0 0 1 1
      7 X X X 2 1 6 0 1 7
      8 X X X X 1 2 1 3 4 1 8
      9 X X X X 3 1 0 6 1 7
      10 X X X 1 2 3 0 2 5
      11 X X X X X X X X X 4 4 1 12 8 1 21
      12 X X X 1 2 0 2 2 4
      13 X 1 3 0 0 3
      Last edited by Done Deal Pro; 06-10-2021, 04:18 AM. Reason: Adjusted this so the chart didn't "break" the post.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks to bioprofessor for running, and congrats to Bono! My votes were 11,9,2, but again, I thought a lot of these sounded like movies. Much higher batting percentage than other genres - I don't have a theory of why that is.

        Comment


        • #5
          Congrats to Bono, Jeff, Prezzy, and Zetiago.
          My votes are 1st Place: DELICIOUS, 2nd Place: OMG MY BOSS IS A WEREWOLF, I KNOW, RIGHT? and 3rd place: THE MONSTER WITHIN.
          Thanks, bio.


          Hey! You might do it in your house, but in this house we don't lick our butts. -- Mother Teresa

          Comment


          • #6
            Congrats to the winners, and to everyone who entered, and to bio for organizing this.

            Nobody knows nothing, and I'm nobody.

            Oh Those Hot Summer Nights script contest
            5 pages, deadline next Sunday

            Comment


            • #7
              My votes were 1, 11 and 2.

              Jeff's (Horrorland) made me chuckle as I was imagining real zombies struggling to blend in with fake ones at a haunted house attraction. I have no idea why, but I was thinking there had to be a drag-queen zombie freaking out about his limited wardrobe. So visual and ironic!

              Bono's (The Break up Challenge) truly scared me. Terrifying to think that this could actually become a thing somewhere on the dark web. Easier, I guess, for a generation where reality is pixelated.

              Prezzy's (Oh, Dahlia!) felt like a classic murder mystery, bordering on the edge of horror. I'd watch it!

              Mitchell McLean's, Bad Penny, was my dark horse. A couple of tweaks to the logline, and this deadly divorce battle with a twist could have made it into the top three.

              As for mine (Delicious), I knew my little short with no true protag faced an uphill battle among the feature giants, but I still like the irony of an obnoxious food critic becoming tomorrow morning's brunch special. I'm grateful for the two warped visionaries who gave it their first place vote.

              Now, it's onto some real writing. Looking forward to Dpat's 5-page summer writing challenge! Hope you guys are ready for some more breakfast sausage!
              Last edited by bioprofessor; 06-10-2021, 02:47 AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Very fun. Lots of talent on this board. Congrats to Bono!!! I can see The Break Up Challenge getting made, and I hope you write it at some point.

                Thanks to Bio for all his work.

                Comment


                • #9
                  VACAY is actually a work I plan on pitching soon, so it's back to the drawing board for me lol. It's a contained slasher; structuring a good log is proving tough.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hahaha! The comedy guys took top 3 in the horror logline contest. That's really weird and funny to me.

                    But kudos to the other writers. Some strong loglines in this one.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      For what it's worth, my votes went like,

                      1st - SHAKES
                      2nd - HORRORLAND
                      3rd - OH, DAHLIA!

                      These weren't even my first picks, this bunch of entries needed a few reads, they all had something.

                      And my scribbled thoughts while reading went like,

                      1 HORRORLAND (Feature) - Ghost Hunters reality shows, priests performing exorcisms, kids with cameras everywhere... the few remaining undead take up residence in a Haunted House exhibit, hiding in plain sight. When a paranormal expert discovers their existence, will they be able to avoid being killed a second (and final) time? (Jeff Lowell)
                      ..."the few remaining undead" made me pause and wonder if you meant ghostly spirits or zombies, maybe needs clarified, regardless of which I'd probably watch this if I found it on a movie channel. Gets a vote.

                      2 OH, DAHLIA! (Feature; horror/comedy) - In the wake of the horrific Black Dahlia murder in 1947, eight legendary Hollywood celebrities connected to the dead actress gather to find the killer among their ranks before they all meet similar gruesome fates. (Prezzy)
                      ...Sounds like it could be fun, gotta wonder who the legendary celebrities are and what each brings to the story, might it be worth mentioning a couple of names in the logline? I'd probably watch this, too. Gets a vote.

                      3 THREE MILE WOOD (Feature) - A group of teens try freeing a friend from under the domineering will of her witch of a mother only to discover that she is actually a witch: and a deal her ancestor made with the devil is the real threat. (Southern_land)
                      ...This sounds like it could be something, I kinda hoped the daughter would turn out to be a witch too, just missed out on a vote.

                      4 DELICIOUS (Short) – Hiking in the dark after his car breaks down on a rural mountain highway, a food critic known for bankrupting restaurants with his blistering reviews, stumbles upon Delicious – a ghost town with a mysterious 24-hour diner that claims its fresh-ground breakfast sausage is to die for. (bioprofessor)
                      ...Weirdly, mentioning the "ghost town" and the "mysterious" diner worked against this, draining any sense of mystery. I'd watch it, but the logline didn't make me.

                      5 VACAY (Feature) - College spring breakers are deserted on a tropical island with a cannibal castaway marooned there long ago. (realphipps)
                      ...I know you're supposed to seed a logline with interesting things, but telling me the castaway is a cannibal up front really pops the mystery balloon and gives the game away. That's not to say it wouldn't be a watchable movie. But there has to be a better way to phrase this.

                      6 DIABLO (Feature) - A grieving man spearheads a rescue operation on an uninhabited planet only to enter a hunt against genetically-modified beasts that force him to regain his will to live. (figment)
                      ...This all sounds very positive and upbeat, which is perhaps the wrong tone for a horror logline? Less of his personal journey and more of the carnivorous beasts and the screaming people they slaughter could easily have got you a vote. Optionally, his seeking whatever loony toon scientist made these beasts, and for what purpose. So I didn't give it a vote, so sorry, but... if I could choose which logline I'd actually want to see made into a movie -- like if a benevolent studio exec stepped up and said they would finance one movie out of all these entries, and I could pick -- then it's this one, I'm into Sci-Fi, alien planets, monsters.

                      7 THE MONSTER WITHIN (Feature) - A scrawny bullied high school Student determined to defend himself discovers a mysterious martial arts app that trains him to use fearsome defensive moves. But a glitch in the program morphs him into a human Monster at night who tortures bullies before feasting on them.
                      When the Monster begins to stalk innocent teenagers, including the girl he secretly loves, the Student must destroy the Monster within. (jonpiper)
                      ...Software doesn't work like this, but if I smother my skepticism with a pillow I can see how this might be entertaining.

                      8 INVASIVE - A 50’s style picturesque town, untouched by modern technologies, is disrupted when a lone traveler arrives from the border lands. Weary of outsiders and blissfully ignorant of life beyond their borders, the town and traveler must work together to fight off a roving band of savage marauders bent on the town’s destruction. (zetiago)
                      ...Feels kinda more Mad Max than horror but even though the horror genre content isn't being fully squeezed out, I'd probably want to see this movie.

                      9 OMG MY BOSS IS A WEREWOLF, I KNOW, RIGHT? (TV Pilot) - Suddenly unemployed and desperate for money, office clerk Jane applies for a job as a seedy private investigator's secretary, but her interview isn't even done when someone tries to shoot her potential boss full of holes, which is only the beginning of a wild adventure involving a missing catwalk model and a deadly gang of mobsters who howl at the moon, leading Jane to suspect her hairy-handed employer might be hiding more than just his furries porn collection. (dpaterso)
                      ...Mine, based on a long short story that always had the potential to grow many more stories featuring this dynamic duo.

                      10 SHAKES - The inhabitants of a small town are visited by a charismatic outsider who is very entertaining. People start to get sick, with some dying, and the outsider is the only one who can help them, but at a dreadful cost to their children. (Mark Somers)
                      ...This is sinister and appealing, I'd want to see it, gets a vote. "very entertaining" could be explained, maybe?

                      11 THE BREAK UP CHALLENGE - A new social media challenge, where teens break up with their significant others in horrible ways and post the video online, takes a deadly turn when kids start being killed. A recently dumped high school senior suspects her ex boyfriend may be behind the murders. (Bono)
                      ...This feels more of a serial killer murder mystery than horror, but it sounds do-able and watchable, aside from the fact it's full of kids which isn't an attraction for me.

                      12 BAD PENNY (feature) - When an unscrupulous businessman's wife disappears before signing the papers finalizing their bitter divorce, he worries that she's discovered assets he has hidden from her, and is scheming to take him to the cleaners all over again. He prowls her old haunts, determined to end the marriage the old-fashioned way, unaware that she's already dead... and that she's looking for him. (Mitchell McLean)
                      ...Sounds like fun, although there's a lot of background explaining before the very important fact that she's dead appears. I'd watch this just to see if she says, "Consider this a divorce."

                      13 THE DEMON AND FATHER JOHN (Feature) - A Catholic priest battling profound loneliness becomes the target of a relentless, cunning demon who will stop at nothing to escape Hell and enter Heaven. (ZAZluvr)
                      ...Yet another good movie idea, I could easily watch this, though I did want a little bit more detail for the logline, like what must the protagonist DO? Using what tools or weapons? Exorcism? Must stop being lonely?

                      I'm not claiming I'm right, I'm just saying that's how I thought.


                      Nobody knows nothing, and I'm nobody.

                      Oh Those Hot Summer Nights script contest
                      5 pages, deadline next Sunday

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Awesome feedback for all, dpat! Thank you.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          My votes were:

                          First - (4) Delicious - I got a "The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover" vibe from it. It could be an interesting off-kilter movie.
                          Second (11) The Break Up Challenge - Felt immediate and socially relevant, which is a strain people like Jordan Peele are popularizing. Could also work more as a thriller.
                          Third (1) Horrorland - Reminded me of George Saunders' short story collection titled "Civilwarland in Bad Decline" - stories with elements of dystopic theme parks.

                          As for mine, Evasive, the idea was a kind of Native American allegory. I don't think I'll ever write a horror movie, but it was fun thinking of ideas. I didn't know we could only submit one this time. Here was the second one I submitted then retracted:

                          Northwest Passage - 1840. Darkness, ice, and silence as far as the eye can see. Moored in for the winter, a crew of thirty explorers turn against each other when they start disappearing without explanation.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thank you everyone. I guess I should take my own advice from my thread "am I writing in the right genre?" and think about that strongly. I saw my idea as SCREAM in tone.

                            I am a comedy writer, but my first love are horror movies. I've written a few, maybe not enough...

                            My votes were

                            1st -- MONSTER WITHIN-- I think with some tweaking this logline may have won. I saw it as a nerd -- who turns into a werewolf -- who only eats bullies and then of course goes after the innocent people he loves as he can't control it. Any "nice guy" turning into a "monster" are great movies. Check out ONCE BITTEN a vampire comedy with Jim Carrey.

                            2nd -- HORRORLAND -- I love the title. I love the setting. I just wasn't 100% sure what the movie was, so it just missed getting my first place vote. Any amusement park or horror experience like settings -- I'm interested in that movie. No genre loves to talk about it's own love of itself more than horror. It's a staple. Horror fans become horror filmmakers and they reference horror in their work directly. I love it.

                            3RD -- OMG WEREWOLF TV PILOT -- It was the title that hooked me in. I guess I love werewolves. I did write a werewolf spec, so that makes sense. I also love TV pilot ideas so I liked that. And a comedy-horror like Buffy or Reaper sounds fun to me.



                            Last edited by Bono; 06-13-2021, 07:53 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks again for running the challenge, Bio, and congrats to all. All are good ideas, but some were more clearly expressed horror in my opinion. A few words in each may have changed the order of all the entries. Every entry is of course execution dependent.

                              My choices in order were:

                              Breakup Challenge. Using social media for a modern take on teenage love, leading to horrible consequences. This was a clear winner, and Bono needs to write it since he enjoys Horror. Can even add a touch of comic relief.
                              Oh Dalia, legendary actors related to a notorious murder confined to a location. Lots of potential for interesting characters to exhibit horror and comedy.
                              Vacay, immediately paints a picture of horror on a small island. Can go many ways.

                              Mine was The Monster Within. First attempt at Horror.
                              Last edited by jonpiper; 06-10-2021, 09:00 AM.

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