RESULTS - Just One Scene Contest #1

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  • RESULTS - Just One Scene Contest #1

    Entry No. Author 1st 2nd 3rd Total
    1 ZAZluvr 1 1 5
    2 Beverly Wain 2 1 1 9
    3 bioprofessor 1 2 3 10
    4 Southern_Land 2 2
    5 Bono 1 1 4
    6 Centos 2 2 8
    7 Rando 3 2 1 14
    8 Clint Hill 2 1 8
    9 Mark Somers 0
    10 Cyfress 1 2 1 8
    11 jonpiper 1 1 5
    12 finalact4 2 1 5
    13 Haskell 1 2 1 8
    14 dpaterso 1 2 3 10
    (1st vote = 3 points, 2nd vote = 2 points, 3rd vote = 1 point)




    1st Place: RANDO (#7)!!!! Correction! I messed up the numbering in the table!!!! SORRY!
    2nd Place (tie): bioprofessor (#3); dpaterso (#14)
    3rd Place: Beverly Wain (#2)


    Congratulations and thank you to all the writers who entered, and to everyone who voted!
    Special thanks to dpaterso who provided (again) expert technical assistance in getting the pages to post properly!

    Please feel free to post your thoughts about the entries and the contest in general.


    View the Entries page here.
    bioprofessor
    Member
    Last edited by bioprofessor; 05-12-2022, 03:26 AM.
    Just One Scene Writing Contest
    Deadline: Saturday, May7 (EDT)

  • #2
    Congrats to Rando! And applause for everyone who entered, and also voted.
    dpaterso
    Member
    Last edited by dpaterso; 05-12-2022, 03:56 AM.
    Just One Scene contest
    Results posted!

    Comment


    • #3
      #9 is mine not Cyfress'. The one with all the fart jokes.

      My votes were.

      1st -- #7
      2nd -- #13
      3rd -- #3
      Mark Somers
      Member
      Last edited by Mark Somers; 05-12-2022, 02:53 AM.
      Until I can find a quote from Pope Francis regarding one licking one's butt in the Vatican I'll post this:
      Just One Scene - Contest #1

      Comment


      • #4
        lol I was thinking when I read it, "Really? Cyfress wrote this? Not Mark?"
        Just One Scene contest
        Results posted!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Mark Somers View Post
          #9 is mine not Cyfress'. The one with all the fart jokes.

          My votes were.

          1st -- #7
          2nd -- #13
          3rd -- #3
          CRAP! I messed up the number in the table when I transferred it from my system into the DDP table format!!!! Sorry Mark Sommers, Clint Hill and Rando!!! I made the correction.
          Just One Scene Writing Contest
          Deadline: Saturday, May7 (EDT)

          Comment


          • #6
            Congrats all and thanks for running the show Bioprofessor!

            1st: 6 - Simple/Mellow/Natural vibe. Enjoyed grandads battle against Lawrence Welk.
            2nd: 3 - Headed to a place I wanted to visit. One of the few that felt more than just the scene.
            3rd: 10 - Silly and frantic (jingling all the way). Vivid writing.

            14 was also very vivid writing.
            9 didn't make my cut but the idea of Luke trying to sneak a dik pik to Lea made me giggle..
            Haskell
            New User
            Last edited by Haskell; 05-12-2022, 05:18 AM.

            Comment


            • #7
              I finished 12th out of 14 -- take that Jeff Lowell!!

              Comment


              • #8
                I voted

                1st -- 10 "Best Buy"
                2nd -- 14 "Star Protector"
                3rd -- 13 "Halloween"

                Comment


                • #9
                  My Votes:

                  1st - #6 I thought these characters were the most natural. Very well rendered and poignant.

                  2nd - #2 Well done. I could picture the cat lady and her granddaughter.

                  3rd - #14 This one got my vote because it didn't go according to my expectations. I felt surprised.


                  The Best Buy was my next one, since there was an actual conflict being playing out in the scene. Well done also.

                  Congrats to all the writers. It was fun to not write this round and just evaluate. So. Much. Easier.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You have terrific taste Bono! Don’t let anyone tell you different

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Congratulations to the winners!!

                      Damn, I didn't get a chance to vote.

                      My favs were13, 7, and 4. The most common note to all the entries is that I felt there was a lot of expositional dialogue that wasn't necessary, as well as times when on the nose dialogue might be stronger with more subtext. I'm not sure if any went over 2 pages.

                      Personally, if there's going to be a prompt, the prompt should be adhered to 100% or entries should be ineligible. The point of the prompt is to push yourself to use only those restrictions. That's where a writer learns the most. And if you aren't going to hold to the prompt what's the point of the prompt, then, right? Just a thought.

                      There were 3 entries that used more than the two characters (including a "voice"), and one that was fan fiction. One entry had like 5 characters-- the Best Buy scene. The "voice" could have been an easy fix with her internal voice warning her. The one with the grandpa and grand daughter and the councilman. The Star Wars fan fiction was relying on someone else's IP. Now this one could have had an easy fix if the characters were described as "in costume" of their two favorite characters from Star Wars with a sheet hand painted with the moons-- I would have loved to read it that way.

                      2c

                      Anyway well done, everyone.
                      "Reserving rights to comment and make changes."
                      Hollywood producer

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        My votes were:

                        1st -- #1
                        2nd -- #12
                        3rd -- #2

                        But really, so many were good. I kept changing the entries and the order. Great job, everyone.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Cyfress View Post
                          You have terrific taste Bono! Don’t let anyone tell you different
                          Thank you. I think my entry would have been better if someone else wrote it and also if my final joke wasn't censored ---- so people had to fill in their own blanks. Stupid filter! C-O-C-K was the missing word.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            My votes went like,

                            1st - 8. Silas and Ezra and pyramids (Clint)
                            2nd - 11. Jody tempts Lester (jonpiper)
                            3rd - 4. ice floe story (Southern)

                            And for what it's worth my thoughts went like this... I scribbled a short descriptor for each entry as I read, so I could remember them, then went back and added comments. If you're not interested, don't read 'em.

                            1. not Billy the Kid - tough luck for this guy, but it's the end of his story, I'm not seeing possibility of continuation. If there had been an audience watching the execution and in that audience was a little guy with an evil grin, the real William Bonney, that could have added extra zing.

                            2. thanks for nothing Grandma - a very relevant conversion for today, but I didn't feel it took me anywhere, or that there's a next scene after this one.

                            3. today's the day Councilman - this worked fine, others got the votes alas. Weirdly this entry would have went well with entry 2 if it had been a continuation of that icky molestation tale.

                            4. ice floe story - I like Gramps's attitude, he gets a vote.

                            5. Greg votes - Greg is a smarmy lying little sh!t and that clerk needs to be barred for incompetence, voting is important! Seems like a complete story, though, there's no continuation.

                            6. TV remote - this worked just fine, but didn't grip me quite as much as some others, sorry.

                            7. biker grampa visits turnip - is Austin being a little sh!t? I think so... it was his hand that pulled the curtain aside, wasn't it? Made me wrinkle my nose, what a bast!d. Kind of a purple melodrama reaction from grampa at the end. I'm being picky I know, but you have to be, to choose from among so many readable entries, which this was. No idea where it might go next, though.

                            8. Silas and Ezra and pyramids - cool little ditty, I chuckled at the sudden twist, all the clever planning to get these vital writings through, up in smoke. I badly wanted to get to these pyramids and see if Silas was talking sh!t or if it was actually all true. Gets a vote! It would have gotten 2 votes (!) if Ezra had confessed he'd stuffed one of the scrolls where the sun don't shine, saving the day, but maybe that's another genre.

                            9. Obi-wan and Luke - I'm not allergic to parodies but this felt like old material, and the fart jokes were an awful addition. Sorry, not for me. Also, expect an email from corporate lawyers.

                            10. old Gerry is a goddamn psychopath - he moves pretty good for his age though. Just missed a vote, other entries squeezed past, knocking Gerry over.

                            11. Jody tempts Lester - this promises more to come, which is something I was looking for in all the entries perhaps... not a completed work, but an open ending for the story to continue. Creepy, though. Good luck, Jody. Gets a vote!

                            12. Tom and Father Peter - what did they remove the collapsed roof with, a bulldozer? "Tell them I love them" felt a little on-the-nose, gotta say I might have been more entertained (which is wrong of me, it's not a comedy) if superstar Tom bewailed it's just not fair, he was on his way to get some sweet cheerleader pu$$y.

                            13. tiger bunny Frank and manga character I don't know - Bess talks as if she's been saving that speech up for the right moment, after which she leaves, the end, it doesn't really promise much else.

                            14. mine, a challenge to squeeze a superhero origin into 2 pages, much trimming was done, but fun to write. + Thanks for the votes and the comments!
                            Just One Scene contest
                            Results posted!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Mark Somers View Post
                              #9 is mine not Cyfress'. The one with all the fart jokes.

                              My votes were.

                              1st -- #7
                              2nd -- #13
                              3rd -- #3
                              I really thought the Star Wars entry would by near the top! I really enjoyed it, but I did give the time breaker to the ones not using IP. But I figured I'd be alone in that. Honestly, in a sea of 14 entries it was the one I can still remember the best after reading them a few days ago.

                              Comment

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