Industry Insider Throwdown

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  • Industry Insider Throwdown

    the contest is now closed. submissions will be posted soon.

    Logline: After waking to find his wife dead in their backyard, a man conducts his own investigation, and uncovers the hidden life of a woman he thought he knew.

    make your selection. who do you think will advance to the top 10? can you predict what they're looking for? the official announcement from the writers' store will be made sometime next week.

  • #2
    Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

    If you want em posted blind, you can email em to joe.unidos @ gmail. com

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

      thanks Joe - i forwarded all the scripts that were sent to me.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

        Sorry, Nikee. Let my vacation get in the way of my DDing.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

          you still on vacation?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

            trying to do it but...

            okay - i posted the first 3

            anyone else want their pages posted anonymously - please send me a PM. i've got more coming.
            Last edited by NikeeGoddess; 09-19-2011, 02:50 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

              A stands for ASHES
              Code:
                               FADE IN:
              
              
              
                               INT. LAMPARD HOUSE - KITCHEN/DINING ROOM - MORNING
              
                               An upscale suburban dining room with open concept
                               kitchen.
              
                               JEFF LAMPARD (44) enters dressed business professional.
                               Passes a FLASHING BLACKBERRY on the counter. 
              
                               ELLEN LAMPARD (39) in slim sports attire tying her
                               running shoes on a chair. A BLACK SUN TATTOO on her left
                               calf above ankle socks. White iPod EARBUDS hang from her
                               neck.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                              (not looking up)
                                         You showing the Mackenzie Estate
                                         today?
              
                               Jeff GRUNTS an affirmative. Bee-lines for the COFFEE POT.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         It's yoga night.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Ryan ready?
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                              (calling out)
                                         Ryan!
              
                               RYAN (5) clops in wearing Jeff's shoes.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Hey Ry, does this mean I get to
                                         wear your shoes to work?
              
                                                      RYAN
                                         No! My shoes!
              
                               Ryan steps out of the shoes and races out.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         You're going to have to take him
                                         to hockey practice.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Didn't I take him just a couple of
                                         days ago?
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         Yes, but I can't take him tonight
                                         so you'll have to.
              
                               Jeff stares at her blankly, as though waiting for her
                               reason.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         I just told you it's yoga night.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Sorry, I didn't realize that was
                                         code for "You need to take Ryan to
                                         practice". I don't know his
                                         schedule like you do.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         It's right there on the fridge!
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         I'm going to be late. Is he ready
                                         to go?
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         Soon as he puts on his shoes.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Hey Ry!
              
                               Jeff leaves. Ellen puts the earbuds in. Turns up the
                               volume and we HEAR relaxation music. Closes her eyes and
                               breathes.
              
              
              
                               EXT. LAMPARD HOUSE - LATER
              
                               A suburban two-storey house in an upscale neighbourhood.
                               Manicured lawn, cedar porch with a large wooden WIND
                               CHIME.
              
                               Gargoylish GARDEN GNOMES stand at the corners of the lawn
                               like sentinels.
              
                               Jeff leads Ryan to the BMW sedan, juggling a briefcase, a
                               lunch box, a backpack, and a travel mug.
              
                               Ryan walks up to the gnome at the edge of the driveway
                               while Jeff fiddles his keys into the car door lock. 
              
                               Ryan and Ellen speak a language that sounds like
                               gibberish. We'll learn later that it isn't.
              
                                                      RYAN
                                         Ob lib dooyen methlik. Plekanac
                                         floosen.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Come on, weirdo, get in the car.
              
              
              
                               INT. MACKENZIE ESTATE HOME - LIVING ROOM - LATER
              
                               Jeff showing a cavernous living space to a WEALTHY
                               COUPLE.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Now picture this room with the sun
                                         streaming through the windows,
                                         spilling across the hardwood
                                         floors and caressing the piano as
                                         you play. Todd and Kate running
                                         around with little toy airplanes.
              
                               Jeff walks over to a stairway with a scrolled woodwork
                               railing.
              
                                                      JEFF (CONT'D)
                                         Or in the winter, you come
                                         downstairs and the fireplace is
                                         already on. This home has
                                         everything you could want and
                                         more.
                                              (counts off fingers)
                                         South-facing. Heated floors. Solar
                                         panels. High efficiency
                                         appliances. Programmable fireplace
                                         and exterior lights.
              
                               The man is nodding, smiling. He spots the ceiling fan and
                               moves to the light switch. FLIPS it on.
              
                               The fan LIGHTS come on and FLICKER. A SIZZLE, then POP!
                               They BLOW OUT.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Whoa! You okay?
              
                                                      WEALTHY MAN
                                         Yes, fine. Electrical problem?
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         There was a full inspection. Must
                                         be the bulbs.
              
              
              
                               EXT. LAMPARD HOUSE - LATER
              
                               Jeff's BMW lurches into the driveway.
              
                               Too wide! It CLIPS the garden gnome hard, but the gnome
                               remains rooted to the ground as though cemented in place.
              
                               A large piece from belly to nose BREAKS OFF. ASH AND ROCK
                               SALT spill from the interior.
              
                               The BMW stops. Jeff gets out, inspects the dented bumper.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         ****!
              
                                                      RYAN
                                              (from inside the car)
                                         Daddy said a bad word!
              
                               Jeff gets back in the car and drives into the garage.
              
                               Spilled ash BLOWS in the breeze.
              
              
              
                               INT. LAMPARD HOUSE - KITCHEN/DINING ROOM - NIGHT
              
                               It's RAINING.
              
                               Jeff, Ellen, and Ryan at the dinner table. Jeff checks
                               his Blackberry. Ellen and Ryan make faces at each other. 
              
                                                      RYAN
                                         Si as noka iblam took?
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         Lok al mon ta ip topak.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                              (snaps)
                                         Do you have to encourage him?
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         Bad day?
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         My buyers were scared off by an
                                         electrical problem. 'Cept my
                                         electrician can't find it.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                              (concerned)
                                         What problem?
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Doesn't matter. I have another
                                         buyer coming tomorrow. A bit of a
                                         long shot but we'll see.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         What about the problem?
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         The lights are fine, okay? Just
                                         drop it!
              
                               Jeff stands to leave the table. Ellen touches his arm.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         I know you'll sell it, honey.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         I know things are tight. The
                                         market's soft but it'll bounce
                                         back.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         That's not--never mind.
              
                               Ryan flicks a pea off his plate.
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         Ry!
              
                               Jeff tries to speak Ryan's gibberish talk, mock scolding.
              
                                                      RYAN
                                              (laughing)
                                         Daddy's silly!
              
                               Ellen hides her smile, swallows it. 
              
                                                      ELLEN
                                         Eat your peas, sweetie.
              
                               LIGHTNING flashes--
              
              
              
                               EXT. LAMPARD HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
              
                               Raindrops SPLASH on the broken garden gnome.
              
                               In the LIGHTNING, a pool of rainwater ERODING the packed
                               ash and rock salt inside. Rock salt DISSOLVING.
              
              
              
                               INT. LAMPARD HOUSE - KITCHEN/DINING ROOM - NEXT MORNING
              
                               Jeff, same as yesterday, different shirt.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                              (calling out)
                                         Ell?
              
                               He looks around. Nothing.
              
                               Looks outside. A beautiful morning.
              
                               He shrugs, opens a cupboard. Pours Cheerios into a white
                               bowl.
              
                               He sits, eats, reads the paper.
              
                               Checks the time. Drains the bowl on the way to the
                               dishwasher.
              
                               Puts on his shoes while checking outside again.
              
                               Picks up the Blackberry. No messages, no e-mail.
              
                               Shakes his head. Exasperated SIGH.
              
                               He DIALS Ellen's cell phone on his Blackberry.
              
                               Very faint, a cell phone RINGS.
              
                               Jeff follows the sound. It's coming from the back porch.
              
              
              
                               EXT. LAMPARD HOUSE - BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS
              
                               Cedar porch, stained and polished, in great condition.
                               Huge yard with a cedar fence. The forest of a state park
                               beyond that.
              
                               Jeff comes through the door onto the porch and FREEZES.
                               Unsure of what he sees. Leans a bit closer.
              
                               REVEAL a pair of legs, but only the shins and feet
                               remain. Left leg standing, the other on its side, like a
                               pair of discarded boots. ASH coats the tops of the legs.
                               A MOUND OF ASH around and between them.
              
                               A BLACK SUN TATTOO, just above the ankle of the standing
                               leg.
              
                               Jeff, shocked. Confused. Scared. And then--
              
                                                      JEFF
                                              (yells)
                                         RYAN!
              
                               He flees into the house.
              
              
              
                               INT. LAMPARD HOUSE - 2ND FLOOR - LATER
              
                               Jeff takes the stairs three at a time, hauls on the
                               railing at the top, launches himself at a door with a
                               blue wooden sign:
              
                               RYAN'S ROOM
              
                               He bursts through the door in a panic.
              
                                                      JEFF
                                         Ryan!
              
                               The bed, empty, covers on the floor.
              
                               Jeff, losing it, searches frantically. Then back to
              
                               THE HALLWAY
              
                               Another door UNLOCKS and Ryan emerges, rubbing sleep from
                               his eyes.
              
                                                      RYAN
                                         Dad, stop yelling!
              
                               Jeff grabs Ryan and hugs him hard, sobbing.
              Last edited by NikeeGoddess; 09-19-2011, 08:11 AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

                ASHES - part 2:
                Code:
                 EXT. LAMPARD HOUSE - LATER
                
                                 Jeff sits on the front porch, BLANKET over his shoulders.
                                 POLICE LIGHTS strobe across his blank face.
                
                                 DETECTIVE RODRIGUEZ (38) walks up to him.
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ
                                           I'm Detective Rodriguez. Mind if I
                                           ask you a few questions?
                
                                 Jeff nods woodenly.
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ (CONT'D)
                                                (flips open a note
                                                 pad)
                                           Your wife came to bed last night
                                           and you don't know when she got
                                           up. Is that correct?
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           Sometimes she'll get up and read
                                           or meditate, or Ryan needs
                                           something and she'll just stay
                                           awake.
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ
                                           Didn't you wonder where she was
                                           when you got up this morning?
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           I thought she was out jogging.
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ
                                           You found her, um, feet on the
                                           back porch, right?
                
                                                        JEFF
                                                (beat)
                                           Yes.
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ
                                           You didn't hear anything? Smell
                                           anything?
                
                                 Tears roll from Jeff's eyes. Shakes his head.
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ (CONT'D)
                                           Is there anything else you can
                                           tell me, anything at all? Because
                                           if you say aliens landed in your
                                           back yard and shot your wife with
                                           a ray gun, I might believe it.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           No, nothing!
                                                (stands)
                                           Wait, what are you saying? Do you
                                           even know if Ellen's dead?
                
                                 Rodriguez FROWNS, studies Jeff a moment.
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ
                                           In all likelihood, yes. You
                                           identified the remains as your
                                           wife's feet, mostly by that
                                           tattoo. It's possible she was
                                           mutilated and taken but that's
                                           extremely unlikely.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           But it's possible.
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ
                                           Look, Mr. Lampard, I don't want to
                                           give you false hope. We haven't
                                           found any evidence to suggest your
                                           wife was taken, at least not
                                           alive. We're treating this as a
                                           homicide.
                
                                 Jeff nods but there's hope in his face anyway.
                
                
                
                                 I/E. JEFF'S CAR - AFTERNOON
                
                                 Jeff in the car, staring. Holding his cell phone.
                
                                 He dials a number.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           Mom? How's he doing?
                                                (pause)
                                           I know. I'm sure he gets it
                                           though.
                                                (pause)
                                           I'm--no, I'm not all right. It's--
                                                (pause)
                                           That's what I was going to ask.
                                           Thanks, mom.
                                                (pause)
                                           I'll come get Ryan in the morning,
                                           all right? Thanks again.
                
                                 Jeff hangs up, tosses the Blackberry on the dash, and
                                 resumes staring.
                
                
                
                                 INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
                
                                 An economy room, nothing special.
                
                                 Lights off, TV on but MUTED.
                
                                 A mostly empty BOTTLE OF SCOTCH on the night stand.
                
                                 Jeff, curled up in bed, sobs into a pillow.
                
                
                
                                 EXT. CINDY GALE'S HOUSE - THE NEXT DAY
                
                                 A narrow multi-story brownstone on a quiet street.
                
                                 Jeff and Ryan stand on the stoop. Jeff's in the same
                                 clothes. Ryan's wearing clashing colors.
                
                                 CINDY GALE (44) OPENS the door. Pudgy, loose-fitting but
                                 stylish clothes of many colors, Native American earrings
                                 and necklace.
                
                                                        CINDY
                                           Jeff? What are you doing here?
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           Hi, Cindy. Sorry for not calling.
                                                (to Ryan)
                                           Say hi to your auntie, Ry.
                
                                                        RYAN
                                           I'm thirsty.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                                (to Cindy)
                                           Can we come inside?
                
                                 Cindy doesn't budge. Gives Jeff a hard look.
                
                                                        CINDY
                                           Why are you here, Jeff?
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           If we could just come inside--
                
                                                        CINDY
                                           Where's Ellen?
                
                                 Jeff tears up. Shakes his head.
                
                                 Cindy's lips tighten.
                
                
                
                                 INT. CINDY GALE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - LATER
                
                                 An eclectic mix of country-style and art deco
                                 furnishings. Native American art pieces everywhere.
                
                                 Jeff sits on a flower-pattern couch clutching a COFFEE
                                 MUG, staring into space.
                
                                 Cindy enters from the hallway.
                
                                                        CINDY
                                           He's watching cartoons.
                
                                 Jeff nods. Cindy sits, folds her hands over a knee.
                
                                                        CINDY (CONT'D)
                                           What happened?
                
                                 Jeff cracks, tears up.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           Christ, I don't know! She's dead,
                                           she must be, but all we found were
                                           her feet. Her feet!
                
                                 Cindy, trembling hand to mouth, eyes screwed shut. 
                
                                 A shudder, like a quiet sob, a sharp intake of breath,
                                 and it's over.
                
                                 Her eyes lock with Jeff's. Grim-mouthed. Terse.
                
                                                        CINDY
                                           What are you going to do?
                
                                 Jeff, uncertain for a moment.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           I need to go home, pack some
                                           things. Ryan shouldn't be there.
                
                                                        CINDY
                                           He can't stay here.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           For ****'s sake, it's just for a
                                           few hours! I'm not asking to stay
                                           with you.
                
                                 Cindy gets a glass of water, gives it to Jeff.
                
                                                        CINDY
                                           For a few hours. Okay.
                
                                 Jeff, leaving, but stops.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           She didn't hate you, Cindy. She--
                
                                 His voice cracks, so he leaves.
                
                
                
                                 I/E. JEFF'S CAR - MOVING - LATER
                
                                 Jeff drives through suburban streets.
                
                                 His cell phone RINGS. He puts on his HANDS-FREE EARPIECE.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           Jeff here.
                
                                                        MAN (V.O.)
                                                (over phone)
                                           I'm sitting here at the gate but
                                           no sign of you. Are you showing me
                                           this place or what?
                
                                 Jeff mouths AW ****!
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           Listen, I'm tied up right now.
                                           Sorry I wasted your time. I'll
                                           call you soon, okay?
                
                                 Jeff hangs up, cutting the man off.
                
                                 A red light.
                
                                 Jeff leans his head back. His composure slips. His
                                 ****ing wife died, he needs a moment.
                
                                 The light turns green.
                
                                 HONKING. He wipes his face, drives.
                
                                 The phone RINGS again. He answers.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           What!
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ (V.O.)
                                                (over phone)
                                           Mr. Lampard, it's Detective
                                           Rodriguez. Can you come by the
                                           station?
                
                                                        JEFF
                                                (perks up)
                                           You have something?
                
                                                        RODRIGUEZ (V.O.)
                                           When can you be here?
                
                                 Jeff checks the time.
                
                                                        JEFF
                                           I'm ten minutes away.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

                  sorry -- ASHES part 3:
                  Code:
                                   INT. POLICE STATION - LATER
                  
                                   Lots of desks, not a lot of uniforms. This area's for
                                   Detectives. Only half the desks are occupied.
                  
                                   Jeff at Rodriguez's desk, a bit intimidated.
                  
                                   Rodriguez across from him, closed FILE FOLDER in front of
                                   him.
                  
                                   Standing next to him is MAYA SANTOS (35).
                  
                                                          JEFF
                                             So what did you find?
                  
                                                          RODRIGUEZ
                                             This is Maya Santos, the Medical
                                             Examiner in charge of your case.
                                             She wanted to be here to explain
                                             her findings.
                  
                                                          SANTOS
                                             Mr. Lampard, I'm very sorry for
                                             your loss.
                  
                                                          JEFF
                                                  (to Rodriguez)
                                             But you said--
                  
                                                          SANTOS
                                             Mr. Lampard, what happened to your
                                             wife...I've never seen anything
                                             like it. None of the M.E.s have.
                                             Her body--
                                                  (puts a hand on
                                                   Jeff's arm)
                                             I'm sorry, I don't usually go into
                                             specifics, but it's important.
                                             Your wife's body burned, Mr.
                                             Lampard. Slowly, like a cigarette.
                  
                                   Jeff JERKS his arm away from her.
                  
                                                          JEFF
                                             What the hell are you talking
                                             about? I saw her--her feet, there
                                             weren't any burns!
                  
                                                          SANTOS
                                             Have you heard of spontaneous
                                             human combustion?
                  
                                   Jeff stares at her, incredulous. Santos nods to the file.
                  
                                                          RODRIGUEZ
                                             You sure about this?
                                                  (off her nod)
                                             Okay. We had to dig this out of
                                             archives.  The body was in almost
                                             exactly the same condition as your
                                             wife's.
                                             Feet and hands virtually untouched
                                             and the rest burned to ash. The
                                             same greasy film on the walls and
                                             windows.
                  
                                                          JEFF
                                             No, that's not--
                  
                                   He puts his head in his hands.
                  
                                                          SANTOS
                                             There were no traces of
                                             accelerants and I couldn't
                                             reproduce the burning. The amount
                                             of ash at the scene is consistent
                                             with this theory.
                  
                                                          RODRIGUEZ
                                             Thanks, Maya.
                  
                                   Santos wants to say more but takes the hint.
                  
                                                          RODRIGUEZ (CONT'D)
                                                  (waits until Santos
                                                   is gone)
                                             Look, we're not done
                                             investigating. If anything new
                                             turns up--
                  
                                                          JEFF
                                             Is it still a homicide, Detective?
                  
                                   Rodriguez's face says it all.
                  
                  
                  
                                   EXT. LAMPARD HOUSE - BACK YARD - LATER
                  
                                   Jeff on the back porch, staring past POLICE TAPE at two
                                   small CHALK OUTLINES. A long moment.
                  
                  
                  
                                   INT. LAMPARD HOUSE - BASEMENT - LATER
                  
                                   Part office, part workshop, mostly storage. Little
                                   organization, craft tools and paper all over the place. 
                  
                                   Jeff pulls a DUST-COVERED BOX from beneath a desk.
                  
                                   Lifts the lid. Ellen's MEMORABILIA; pictures, school
                                   medals, child's jewelry, random personal crap.
                  
                                   Jeff picks out an ENVELOPE, worn and wrinkled. UP-ENDS
                                   it.
                  
                                   A KEY.
                  
                                   He looks at it for a moment. CLENCHES his fist around it.
                  
                                                          JEFF
                                             Dammit, Ell!
                  
                                   KICKS the box back to its place.
                  
                  
                  
                                   INT. LAMPARD HOUSE - 2ND FLOOR - NIGHT
                  
                                   Jeff walks past Ryan's room.
                  
                                   The bedroom door, ajar. A DARK MAN inside. Jeff comes
                                   back hesitantly.
                  
                                   Pushes the door open. The man stands at the foot of
                                   Ryan's bed. A long leather coat and wide-brimmed leather
                                   hat, ancient and evil.
                  
                                                          JEFF
                                             Who the hell are you?
                  
                                   The head turns slightly. A finger presses to lips.
                  
                                                          DARK FIGURE
                                             Sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
                  
                                   The sound starts quiet but grows louder as ALL OTHER
                                   SOUND is extinguished.
                  
                                   Jeff tries to speak but NO SOUND is made. He yells! He
                                   screams, but nothing!
                  
                                   He's freaking out! Pounds the door, but again, NO SOUND.
                  
                                   The dark figure picks up Ryan's BLANKET.
                  
                                   Brings it up to his nose. A long, deep SNIFF. 
                  
                                   Jeff FREEZES. He HEARS it, and only it.
                  
                                   A PREHENSILE TONGUE tastes the blanket. A smile.
                  
                                   A FLASH of pure black, and the figure is gone. ALL SOUND
                                   returns like a thunderclap.
                  
                                   Jeff is SCREAMING! Outside, every dog in the
                                   neighbourhood is BARKING.
                  
                                   He falls to the ground, still screaming.
                  
                                   He BLACKS OUT.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

                    reposted later
                    Last edited by NikeeGoddess; 09-19-2011, 02:48 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

                      reposted
                      Last edited by NikeeGoddess; 09-19-2011, 02:49 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

                        T is for Trompe L'Oeil
                        Code:
                        
                                       FADE IN
                        
                        
                        
                                       INT. SPENCER ART GALLERY - OFFICE - DAY
                        
                                       The room is a cluttered mess with several works of art
                                       leaning against the walls in a haphazard way.  At her desk
                                       SUSAN SPENCER writes out a check.
                        
                                                           SUSAN
                                                 She's a fabulous artist.  You must
                                                 be so proud.
                        
                                       She slides the check across the desk to ALAN FOGG who is
                                       trying to press the wrinkles out of his dress shirt.  He's a
                                       conservative business type in his early 50's.  He wants to
                                       look his professional, clean cut self but today he's a bit
                                       disheveled, which makes him feel uncomfortable.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 Thank you very much.  I've been 
                                                     (lying)
                                                 telling her for years to just put
                                                 herself out there.
                        
                                       He takes the check and looks at it.  $50,000 -- his eyes pop
                                       for a split second, but then he looks disappointed and sad.
                        
                                                           SUSAN
                                                 Less my commission of course.
                                                     (a beat)
                                                 Can't wait to see the new stuff
                                                 she's working on.  Said she's
                                                 mastered Trompe L'oeil.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 Who?
                        
                                                           SUSAN
                                                 Not who.  It's a technique. 
                                                 Haven't you seen it?
                        
                                       Alan hands her back the check.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 Can you make this out to me.  I
                                                 can't cash this.
                        
                                       Susan frowns.
                        
                                                           SUSAN
                                                 I don't have a contract with you,
                                                 Mr. Fisher.  The check is for your
                                                 wife.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 Fogg.  My name is Alan Fogg. 
                                                 Fisher is my wife's maiden name.
                        
                                                           SUSAN
                                                 Tell her to call me when she gets
                                                 back.  I have some more buyers who--
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 She told you where she was going?
                        
                                                           SUSAN
                                                 She went somewhere?
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 You just said, when she gets back. 
                                                 Back from where?
                        
                                       Susan looks at him blankly.  Alan stands up in an angry,
                                       threatening manner.
                        
                                                           ALAN (CONT'D)
                                                 When was the last time you spoke to
                                                 my wife?
                        
                                       Not having this attitude... Susan walks around him and opens
                                       the door... suggesting he leave.
                        
                                       Alan steps up to the door... stops... and looks at her hard.
                        
                                                           ALAN (CONT'D)
                                                 You seriously don't know where she
                                                 is?
                        
                                       Susan shakes her head.
                        
                                                           ALAN (CONT'D)
                                                 I think you're lying.
                        
                                                           SUSAN
                                                 I think you should leave.
                        
                                       Alan steps out of the room and into the...
                        
                                                           SUSAN (CONT'D)
                                                 Tell Wendy to call me.
                        
                        
                        
                                       MAIN GALLERY
                        
                                       Alan makes his way through a bright and clean art gallery.
                                       Beautiful paintings on the walls... white leather benches...
                                       a few art lovers milling around.
                        
                        
                        
                                       EXT.  FOGG HOME - DAY
                        
                                       Alan pulls his luxury sedan up a long driveway... Pass a well
                                       kept lawn and beautiful, flowery garden... towards his upper
                                       class suburban home.
                        
                                       He drives around back and stops in front of a garage door. 
                                       The door has been smashed in.  Unlike the house, this garage
                                       looks as if it's been through a hurricane.
                        
                                       Alan stands on his tiptoes to look into a broken window of
                                       the smashed door.
                        
                                                           LARI
                                                 Creep!
                        
                                       Alan jumps.  Turns around to see his teenaged daughter, LARI.
                        
                                                           LARI (CONT'D)
                                                 You going to clean up that mess you
                                                 made or what?
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 Will you go put some clothes on?
                        
                                       Lari is dressed in itty-bitty shorts and a halter top that
                                       reveals too much skin for a dad to be comfortable with.
                        
                                                           ALAN (CONT'D)
                                                 You want people to think I'm
                                                 raising a prostitute?
                        
                                                           LARI
                                                 I'm hungry and there's nothing to
                                                 eat.  What are we going to have for
                                                 dinner?
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 Why are you asking me that?!  I'm
                                                 not your mother.  You want me to
                                                 feed you?
                        
                                       Lari storms back toward the house.  Stops to yell back.
                        
                                                           LARI
                                                 If you weren't such an ass then she
                                                 wouldn't have left!
                        
                                       Truck backing up: BEEP... BEEP... BEEP...
                        
                        
                        
                                       INT/EXT. FOGG'S CAR - PARKED - DAY
                        
                                       A RAP on the driver's side window.  Alan jolts awake.
                        
                                                           CONSTRUCTION WORKER
                                                 Mr. Fogg, I got your dumpster.
                        
                                       Alan wipes spittle from his sweaty face.
                        
                                       A CONSTRUCTION WORKER looks at him through the window.
                        
                                                           CONSTRUCTION WORKER (CONT'D)
                                                 You want it here?
                        
                                       Alan sees a large dumpster behind the guy and nods.  The
                                       Construction Worker hands him a clipboard.  Alan signs the
                                       paper.  He leans back in his seat and rubs his face awake.
                        
                                                           CONSTRUCTION WORKER (CONT'D)
                                                 The crew will be here tomorrow to
                                                 get started.
                        
                                       Alan doesn't acknowledge him so he leaves in a huff.
                        
                        
                        
                                       INT.  FOGG HOME - MORNING
                        
                        
                        
                                       KITCHEN
                        
                                       This gorgeous, state of the art kitchen is marred by empty
                                       fast food containers and carry-out boxes.  Dirty dishes
                                       litter the sink and counter.
                        
                                       In his pajamas, BILLY FOGG, Alan's twelve year old son swings
                                       open the refrigerator and freezer doors... and stares.  After
                                       a long moment he grabs a container of ice cream.
                        
                                       Ice cream plops into a bowl.  Colorful sweet cereal sprinkles
                                       on top.  Billy digs in.
                        
                                                           ALAN (O.S.)
                                                 That's your breakfast?
                        
                                       Billy doesn't look up when Alan drags himself into the room.
                        
                                                           BILLY
                                                 Want some?
                        
                                       Alan opens and shuts several cabinet doors... searching...
                                       shoving food... searching...  slamming doors... getting more
                                       and more frustrated with the contents from each shelf. 
                                       Exasperated, he stops and notices Billy pointing at a low
                                       cabinet.
                        
                                       Alan pulls a coffee maker from the cabinet and slams it on
                                       the counter.  Plugs it in.
                        
                                       Billy points to a drawer.  Alan pulls out a box of coffee
                                       pouch filters and reads the label... for the first time.
                        
                        
                        
                                       GARAGE
                        
                                       It's dark and all we see is mounds of stuff.
                        
                                       Alan stands in the doorway from the kitchen with a mug of
                                       coffee.  He flicks on the lights.
                        
                                       This is no ordinary garage.  It's an artist's studio.  But
                                       there's something wrong here. Even though large paintings
                                       hang on the walls, on easels, on work tables -- the place is
                                       all torn up and wrecked like a tornado that SPEWED HOUSE
                                       PAINT.
                        
                                                           SUSAN (V.O.)
                                                 She's a fabulous artist.  You must
                                                 be so proud.
                        
                                       Alan SLAMS his coffee mug across the room.
                        
                                                           LARI (O.S.)
                                                     (yelling)
                                                 We're going to the pool, Dad.
                        
                                       It takes him a moment to register what was just said.
                        
                        
                        
                                       KITCHEN
                        
                                       Lari and Billy rush through the room with their beach towels
                                       draped over their shoulders.
                        
                                       Alan steps back into the kitchen.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 Clean up this kitchen before you...
                        
                                       But they're gone.
                        
                        
                        
                                       GARAGE/ART STUDIO
                        
                                       Using all his might Alan forces open the broken garage door. 
                                       Wood and glass crackles in the process, and sunlight fills
                                       the room.
                        
                                       A long counter and work sink is covered with spilled bottles,
                                       tubes, and cans of paint, brushes, sponges, and dirty rags
                                       scattered.  Alan shoves it all into a large black trash bag.
                        
                                       The bursting trash bag is tossed into the dumpster.
                        
                        
                        
                                       INSIDE THE DUMPSTER
                        
                                       Several paint splattered paintings are tossed in.  The eyes
                                       from haunting portraits watch as abstract art, frames, and
                                       glass crashes down all around them.
                        
                        
                        
                                       GARAGE/ART STUDIO
                        
                                       Alan yanks a painting down from the wall.  It's a beautiful,
                                       mixed media piece of art.  The plate glass splattered with
                                       paint. He studies it for a moment.  Flips it over and tears
                                       off the backing, and carefully slides out the painting.
                        
                        
                        
                                       BACK YARD
                        
                                       It's hot and sunny, and Alan is covered in debris and sweat.
                        
                                       Alan gently lays the painting on a lawn chair.
                        
                                       Another work of art is dropped on top... then another and
                                       another -- saved art!
                        
                                       Alan picks up an over-sized framed painting from a huge pile. 
                                       He leans it against a lawn chair and studies it.  It's a
                                       lovely, old world village with a strange 3-D, Trompe L'oeil
                                       effect -- like you could STEP RIGHT INSIDE the scene.
                        
                                                           SUSAN (V.O.)
                                                 She's mastered Tromp L'oeil.
                        
                                       Alan shakes the affect from his head.
                        
                                       He digs through the huge mound of paintings, flipping them
                                       over in rapid succession like a madman. And finally
                                       underneath it all... face down...
                        
                        
                        
                                       A WOMAN
                        
                                       Not just any woman.  This is his wife.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 Wendy?
                        
                                       He rushes to her.  She's covered in thick globs of paint.  He
                                       turns her over and wipes paint from her face.  But it's too
                                       thick and gooey.
                        
                                                           ALAN (CONT'D)
                                                 Wendy? Oh my god!
                        
                                       Paint melts out of her mouth, nose, eyes, and ears.  Alan
                                       drops her head and jumps to his feet.
                        
                                       HEAD SPINNING!  He squeezes his head tight but...
                        
                                       The white puffy clouds in the sky are spinning out of
                                       control.
                        
                                                                                 FADE TO BLACK.
                        
                        
                        
                                       BLINK... BLUE SKY... BLINK... CLOUDS... BLINK... A MAN...
                        
                                       Alan looks up to see a PARAMEDIC taking his vitals.
                        
                                                           PARAMEDIC
                                                 Mr. Fogg... Mr. Fogg!
                        
                                       Alan tries to sit up but the Paramedic gently holds him back.
                        
                                                           PARAMEDIC (CONT'D)
                                                 Looks like you may have fainted.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 I'm alright.  Let me up.
                        
                                       The Paramedic tears off the velcro blood pressure band.
                        
                                       Alan sits up.  He looks at the "reduced" pile of damaged
                                       paintings.
                        
                                                           PARAMEDIC
                                                 You remember what happened?
                        
                                       An (Emergency Technician) EMT stands between him and the
                                       rubbish.
                        
                                                           EMT
                                                 Hope you had good insurance.  I
                                                 don't know much about art but some
                                                 of those paintings look pretty
                                                 good.
                        
                                       Alan watches two CONSTRUCTION WORKERS dump debris in the
                                       dumpster.
                        
                                                           PARAMEDIC
                                                 Did you hit your head?  Should we
                                                 take you in?
                        
                                       Alan stands up and looks at the spot where his wife was.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                     (to Construction Workers)
                                                 What are you doing?
                        
                                                           CONSTRUCTION WORKER
                                                 I told you we were coming today.
                        
                                                           ALAN
                                                 I mean, you're taking my wife's
                                                 paintings?!
                        
                                       The two Construction Workers exchange a look.
                        
                                       A large wrecking ball CRASHES through the garage.
                        
                                       To be continued...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

                          S is for Sanctuary
                          Code:
                                 OVER BLACK:
                          
                                         A dog BARKS twice.
                          
                                         Silence.
                          
                                         FURIOUS BARKING...abruptly cut off.
                          
                                                                                        SMASH CUT TO:
                          
                                         RICHARD SUTHERLAND, 40s, suddenly sits up in bed.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   Lisa?
                          
                                         INT. SUTHERLAND HOME - BEDROOM - NIGHT
                          
                                         Moonlight streams through the open window, the curtains 
                                         billowing gently.  Glances to the other side of the bed.  
                                         Empty.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   Lisa?
                          
                                         He hears a NOISE downstairs.  Takes a glance at the clock:  
                                         4:07am.  A gust of wind blows the curtains almost horizontal.
                          
                                         He gets out of bed, walks to the window, and shuts it.  He's 
                                         a big man; athletic, but paunchy; thick muscle on its way to 
                                         middle-age.  
                          
                                         He starts to turn away
                          
                                         Stops.  Looks out
                          
                                         INT. /EXT. SUTHERLAND HOME - BACKYARD
                          
                                         And lying in the yard, a FIGURE.  He can't quite make out...is 
                                         that?
                          
                                         Another NOISE from downstairs. 
                          
                                         Beat.
                          
                                         He goes to the nightstand.  On the nightstand:  a lamp, a 
                                         book, a cell phone.  Silently opens the drawer, pulls out a 
                                         REVOLVER.  
                          
                                         Goes to the open bedroom door.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                        (loud)
                                                   Lisa!
                          
                                         A downstairs LIGHT is flicked on.
                          
                                         Richard holds the weapon at the ready.  He's comfortable 
                                         with it.  Stands just inside the bedroom doorway.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   I have a gun!
                          
                                         Silence.
                          
                                         Takes a deep breath...exhales.  Another breath and
                          
                                         Darts into the
                          
                                         HALLWAY
                          
                                         Points the gun straight down the hallway.  Nothing there.  
                                         Richard cautiously proceeds down the hallway towards the
                          
                                         STAIRS
                          
                                         The stairs lead down into the living room, the kitchen/dining 
                                         room off to the side.  Light spills from the kitchen into 
                                         the living room.
                          
                                         Another NOISE from the kitchen.
                          
                                         Richard swallows.  Sweat pops on his forehead.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   L-Lisa.
                          
                                         He starts down the stairs, gun pointed towards the kitchen.  
                                         Creeps closer.  He's ten steps from the bottom.
                          
                                         A MAN swings out of the kitchen into view, a GUN pointed at 
                                         Richard.
                          
                                         Startled, Richard SLIPS on the stairs just as the Man SHOOTS.  
                                         The shot passes over Richard as he falls down on his ass, 
                                         still holds his weapon...
                          
                                         And before the Man can adjust his aim, Richard FIRES!
                          
                                         The Man drops without a sound.
                          
                                         Richard slowly and shakily gets to his feet.  Weapon still 
                                         trained on the soft-soled shoes pointed straight up that 
                                         poke out of the kitchen.
                          
                                         He peeks into the kitchen.  An entry wound just underneath 
                                         the man's right eye.  The top of his head is matted with 
                                         blood, bits of bone and skull.  Blood pools from underneath 
                                         the dead man's head.
                          
                                         Richard snaps back, eyes closed.  He leans against the wall, 
                                         starts to slide down...
                          
                                         The front door opens.
                          
                                                               MAN #2
                                                   Are you done yet?
                          
                                         Reflexively, Richard SHOOTS Man #2, hits him in the shoulder.  
                                         Man #2 GRUNTS, manages to bring his own weapon up...
                          
                                         Richard FIRES the last four shots.  Three hit Man #2 in the 
                                         chest, and he goes down.
                          
                                         Richard's eyes wide with shock.  He collapses, starts to 
                                         shake and cry then remembers
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   Lisa.
                          
                                         He bolts up, heads to the back of the house, and out into
                          
                                         EXT. SUTHERLAND HOME - BACKYARD
                          
                                         The moonlight shines on the figure Richard saw from his 
                                         bedroom window.  He races forward.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   No, no, no, nonononono...
                          
                                         He falls to his knees next to the body of LISA SUTHERLAND, 
                                         30s, prettiness marred by the bullet hole in her head, and 
                                         one in her chest.
                          
                                         He drops the gun, starts to touch her, stops, hands hover...he 
                                         doesn't know what to do.  Finally drops his hands to his 
                                         sides.  Stares dumbly at the body of his wife.
                          
                                                                                        MATCH CUT TO:
                          
                                         INT. SUTHERLAND HOME - LIVING ROOM - LATER
                          
                                         Richard still stares dumbly straight ahead.
                          
                                         There is no sound.  He hears nothing.
                          
                                         Then a faint VOICE.  Unintelligible...gradually the VOICE 
                                         gets clearer, as if it's arriving from a distance.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON (O.S.)
                                                   ...erland?
                          
                                         Richard focuses on DETECTIVE JOHN BOLTON, 30s.  The 
                                         Detective's sharply dressed, blandly good looking in a J.C. 
                                         Penney catalog kind of way.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   Yes?
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   We're done in your office.  Is there 
                                                   anything else you can tell us?
                          
                                         Richard glances at Bolton's partner, DETECTIVE SIMON SCOTT, 
                                         50s.  Scott has the looks of an alcoholic bloodhound, wears 
                                         an off the rack suit that's been worn to one too many crime 
                                         scenes.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   I...
                                                        (clears throat)
                                                   I don't think so. 
                          
                                         CSI TECH pokes his head into the living room.
                          
                                                               CSI TECH
                                                   We're done in the kitchen, now.
                          
                                         Bolton nods to the Tech.  Looks back at Richard, then at 
                                         Scott's poker face.  
                          
                                         Bolton flips through a couple of pages in his notebook, lips 
                                         move as he reads to himself.  Closes it.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   And you said the dog was yours. 
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   Yes.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   I'm not...I just want to make sure 
                                                   I've got this right.  Two guys you've 
                                                   never seen before enter your house, 
                                                   take your wife outside, or maybe 
                                                   your wife heard something so she 
                                                   goes to investigate, doesn't wake 
                                                   you so she goes out to the 
                                                   backyard...then these two guys come 
                                                   back in to finish the job.  Is that 
                                                   how it--
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   Ginger.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   Excuse me?
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   The dog's name was Ginger.  She was 
                                                   nine.  Or ten, I'm not really sure.  
                                                   We found her...my wife found her at 
                                                   a shelter...
                          
                                         Richard breaks down.  Hangs his head and sobs quietly.
                          
                                         He looks up as PARAMEDICS wheel the two dead bodies out of 
                                         the house.  
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   Mr. Sutherland--
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                   We're going to need a formal 
                                                   statement.  I know this isn't the 
                                                   best time, but...if you can come by 
                                                   later this afternoon, at your 
                                                   convenience.
                          
                                         Bolton eyes Scott.
                          
                                         Scott holds out his card. 
                          
                                         Richard takes the card, looks at Scott's sympathetic face.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   I...she was my wife.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                        (softly)
                                                   I know.  Is there anyone you can 
                                                   call?
                                                        (off Richard's 
                                                        confusion)
                                                   You've got things you need to take 
                                                   care of, and you'll need help, I 
                                                   think.
                          
                                         Bolton exits the living room.  
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   Yes.  Of course.  I can call her 
                                                   sister, and...Oh, my God.  I've got 
                                                   to call her sister...
                          
                                         He's on the verge of tears again.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                   Call me when you're ready.
                          
                                         He stands, and leaves Richard trembling on the edge of the 
                                         sofa.
                          
                                         EXT. SUTHERLAND HOME - FRONT YARD - MORNING
                          
                                         Scott closes the front door behind him, as he steps onto the 
                                         front porch.  Takes in the other houses in this upscale 
                                         neighborhood, sees a small crowd of neighbors and early 
                                         morning dog walkers gather on porches and the street, just 
                                         beyond the ambulances and police cruisers.
                          
                                         Scott steps off the porch, heads to his car where Bolton 
                                         leans against the car, smoking.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                   You're upset with me again.
                          
                                         Bolton takes another puff of his cigarette before answering.  
                                         Shrugs his shoulders.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   I thought this was mine.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                   It is.
                          
                                         Bolton tosses his cigarette away.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   I've got Mitchell and a couple others 
                                                   going door to door, but you and I 
                                                   already know how this is going to 
                                                   end.
                          
                                         Scott goes to the passenger side.  They both open their doors, 
                                         but talk over the roof of the car.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                   You got it figured out, huh? 
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   Nothing to figure out.  He hired two 
                                                   guys to kill her, and then he killed 
                                                   them.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                   Maybe.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   He trips on the stairs and kills two 
                                                   guys?  The wife gets out of bed to 
                                                   check a noise?  And he doesn't dial 
                                                   nine one one as soon as he sees the 
                                                   body and hears intruders?  No.  I'm 
                                                   not buying it.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                   Maybe.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                   You got something better?
                          
                                         They look at each other over the roof of the car.
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE SCOTT
                                                   You hungry?
                          
                                                               DETECTIVE BOLTON
                                                        (checkmate)
                                                   Yeah, I thought so.
                          
                                         They get into the car.  Drive away.
                                         INT. SUTHERLAND HOME - BEDROOM 
                          
                                         Richard lies on the unmade bed, stares at the ceiling.  Except 
                                         for his shoes, he's fully dressed.
                          
                                         Vacant stare.  Face flushed from crying, though his eyes are 
                                         dry now.
                          
                                         He looks over to the other side of the bed where his wife 
                                         used to sleep.  He sighs.
                          
                                         He sits up on the edge of the bed.  Puts on one shoe.  He 
                                         moves slowly, as if carrying a great weight.  
                          
                                         He grabs the other shoe... 
                          
                                         RING of a cell phone. 
                          
                                         He watches his cell phone vibrating on the nightstand.
                          
                                         Still holding the shoe, he picks up the call.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   This is Richard...Oh, Christ.  I'm 
                                                   so sorry.  I forgot the time...No, 
                                                   no, I can be there...Lori, I can't 
                                                   have you take a cab.
                                                        (listens)
                                                   Lori,I...Okay, okay, I give.  I'll 
                                                   see you in a few.  And, Lori?  Thank 
                                                   you.
                          
                                         He hangs up. 
                          
                                         Sniffs.  Looks at the shoe in his hand with momentary 
                                         confusion...he drops the cell onto the bed, puts the shoe 
                                         on.
                          
                                         BUZZ of a cell phone.
                          
                                         Without looking he picks up the cell phone from the bed.
                          
                                                               RICHARD
                                                   Hey, did you--
                          
                                         BUZZ of a cell phone.
                          
                                         Richard holds the phone away from his ear.  It's not his 
                                         phone that's ringing.  The BUZZ continues from somewhere 
                                         else.
                          
                                         He stands, listens...coming from Lisa's side of the bed.  He 
                                         moves around to the other side of the bed and
                          
                                         It stops.  Silence.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

                            Sanctuary part 2:
                            Code:
                              
                                           Before he can decide what to do...BUZZ.
                            
                                           After the second BUZZ, he lifts up Lisa's pillow.  A CELL 
                                           PHONE vibrates.
                            
                                           He stares at it.  It BUZZES.  Stops.
                            
                                           Silence.
                            
                                           Starts BUZZING again.
                            
                                           He snatches it up.  Flips it open.
                            
                                                                 MALE VOICE (O.S.)
                                                     You can't ignore me forever.  We 
                                                     need to talk.
                            
                                           Beat. 
                            
                                                                 MALE VOICE (O.S.)
                                                     Lisa, I know you--
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Who is this?
                            
                                           The call is disconnected.
                            
                                           Richard stares at the phone in his hand. 
                            
                                           INT. SUTHERLAND HOME - LIVING ROOM
                            
                                           Richard sits in a leather chair, a drink on the table next 
                                           to him.  He's opening and closing the clamshell cell phone 
                                           he found under his wife's pillow.
                            
                                           FLIP.  Open.
                            
                                           SNAP.  Shut.
                            
                                           FLIP.
                            
                                           SNAP.
                            
                                           Holds the phone.  Stares at it.
                            
                                           Reaches over, drains the drink, sets the glass down.
                            
                                           Thumb hovers over SEND.  Hesitates...
                            
                                           Depresses the button.
                            
                                           The doorbell RINGS.
                            
                                           Richard SNAPS the cell shut.  Pockets the phone.
                            
                                           Heads to the front door, opens it to find
                            
                                           LORI ANDREW, 30s, an overnight bag over her shoulder.  She's 
                                           a striking woman, tall and athletic.  She looks like a beauty 
                                           queen, but there's a fierce intelligence and hardness behind 
                                           her eyes.
                            
                                           Right now, though, the eyes are soft.
                            
                                           They stand in the doorway for a moment...then embrace.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     I'm so sorry.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Yeah.  Me, too.
                            
                                           They support each other for a long time. 
                            
                                           LIVING ROOM - LATER
                            
                                           Lori sits on the couch.  Richard sits on the leather chair, 
                                           working on his drink.  He alternates between looking at Lori, 
                                           and studying his drink.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     ...and do they have any leads yet?
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     If they did they didn't share it 
                                                     with me.  I gave my statement this 
                                                     afternoon, and I got the distinct 
                                                     impression that I'm a "person of 
                                                     interest".  Are you sure you don't 
                                                     want a drink?
                            
                                           Richard heads to the wet bar as Lori shakes her head, lost 
                                           in thought.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     What do you mean a "person of 
                                                     interest"? 
                            
                                           He mixes his drink.  Takes a sip from it.  Puts a hand in 
                                           his pocket.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Do you...Did you know that Lisa and 
                                                     I are having...had...problems?
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     What?  She never said anything to 
                                                     me.
                            
                                           Pulls out the cell phone.  Holds it up.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     I think she was seeing someone else.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     No.  I don't--
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     He called just after you called from 
                                                     the airport.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     You talked to him?
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     He hung up.
                            
                                           Richard sits down.  Places the phone on the coffee table 
                                           between them.  They both stare at it.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     You have to tell the police.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     I have to know.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     Richard, you have to take this to 
                                                     the police.  They can trace the call 
                                                     or something, they can find out who 
                                                     this guy is--
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     I have to know.  And I need your 
                                                     help.
                            
                                           Momentary confusion from Lori.  Then
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     You want me to call him?
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Maybe if he hears your voice...maybe 
                                                     he'll...say something.
                            
                                           Lori picks up the cell phone.  Turns it over in her hand.  
                                           Thinks about it.  Flips it open.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     You need to take this to the police, 
                                                     Richard.  I don't--
                            
                                           Mouth slams shut.  It's as if she just now remembered 
                                           something.  She stares at the open cell phone.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     What?
                            
                                           Lori snaps the phone shut. 
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     Where'd you get this?
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     I found it under her pillow.
                            
                                           She looks at Richard for a long moment.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     You know who it is.
                            
                                           She gently places the phone on the coffee table.  Stares at 
                                           it.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     Maybe, but... 
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Tell me.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     Richard...
                            
                                           She seems lost for a moment, indecisive.
                            
                                           Richard never takes his eyes off her, but he waits... 
                            
                                           She sighs.  Looks directly at Richard.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     We have to talk. 
                            
                                           The doorbell RINGS.
                            
                                           Richard stares hard at Lori.
                            
                                           The doorbell RINGS again.
                            
                                           Richard takes one last glance at Lori, heads to the front 
                                           door.
                            
                                           He opens the door...and is greeted by a casserole.
                            
                                           The casserole's held out by JEREMIAH, 30s.  He's dressed in 
                                           a black suit, like he's going to a funeral, and he's got the 
                                           gaunt and hungry look of a feral cat.  When he smiles, he 
                                           looks like he's about to eat you.  And he smiles a lot.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     It was on the doorstep.
                            
                                           Richard takes the casserole.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Thank you, but--
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                          (grins)
                                                     Are you right with the Lord, Richard?
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Thanks again, but if you'll excuse 
                                                     me.
                            
                                           Richard, still holding the casserole, tries to herd Jeremiah 
                                           towards the door.  Jeremiah smoothly sidesteps Richard.  
                                           Moves further into the house.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     I'm concerned about your salvation, 
                                                     Richard, and it'd be a shame if you 
                                                     were denied the kingdom of heaven.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                          (angry)
                                                     Look.  I don't mean to be rude, but 
                                                     you're--
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     Was Lisa right with the Lord, Richard?
                            
                                           A shocked beat.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Get the **** out of my house.
                            
                                           Richard crowds Jeremiah.  He's bigger than the grinning man, 
                                           but Jeremiah doesn't appear to be concerned:  His grin widens.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     I just need one thing from you, 
                                                     Richard, and I'll gladly--
                            
                                                                 LORI (O.S.)
                                                     Move away from him, Jeremiah.
                            
                                           They both turn to look as Lori makes her way down the hall.  
                                           She holds the cell phone by her side.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     Well, well, well...this is 
                                                     interesting.  
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                          (to Lori)
                                                     You know him?
                            
                                           Lori stops about ten feet from them.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     This doesn't concern him, Jeremiah.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     It does now.
                            
                                           Richard doesn't even think about it.  He drops the casserole 
                                           dish and PUNCHES Jeremiah flush in the face.
                            
                                           Jeremiah smiles at him.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     I guess I deserved that--
                            
                                           Richard SWINGS a right at Jeremiah.
                            
                                           Jeremiah calmly grabs the fist.  Holds it.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     But let's not get carried away, shall 
                                                     we?
                            
                                           Richard PUNCHES with his left.  Hits Jeremiah in the side of 
                                           his face.
                            
                                           Jeremiah's only reaction:  His eyes narrow.  
                            
                                           He SQUEEZES Richard's fist.
                            
                                           A bone SNAPS as Richard groans and falls to his knees.
                            
                                           Jeremiah leans in close.  The smile is gone.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     You're starting to annoy me. 
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     Jeremiah!
                            
                                           Jeremiah meets Lori's eyes, holds her gaze for a moment.
                            
                                           He smiles, releases Richard's hand.
                            
                                           Richard cradles his broken hand, doesn't know what to make 
                                           of the situation as he looks from Jeremiah to Lori back to 
                                           Jeremiah.
                            
                                           Jeremiah kneels down, his head level with Richard's. 
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     Don't trust her, Richard.  She does 
                                                     not have your best interests at heart.
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                          (in pain)
                                                     And you do?
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     Depends.  If you give me what I want, 
                                                     then I most certainly can give you 
                                                     what you want.  Whatever you want. 
                            
                                           Richard's confused.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     I need the Key, Richard.  Your wife 
                                                     knew the location
                                                          (shoots a glance at 
                                                          Lori)
                                                     And she does, too.
                            
                                           Jeremiah stands.  Eyes Lori, who still stands there glaring 
                                           at Jeremiah.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     Ask her, Richard.  Ask her what this 
                                                     is about, then...Give me the Key.
                            
                                           Jeremiah heads towards the door.  Looks at the broken 
                                           casserole dish on the floor.
                            
                                                                 JEREMIAH
                                                     And you may want to clean up this 
                                                     mess.  Then again, monkeys like living 
                                                     in mess.
                            
                                           He exits.
                            
                                           Lori moves forward, touches Richard.
                            
                                           He JERKS away.  GLARES at her.
                            
                                                                 LORI
                                                     Richard, I--
                            
                                                                 RICHARD
                                                     Who are you people?

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                            • #15
                              Re: Industry Insider Throwdown

                              Nikee...do you hear crickets?

                              Maybe nobody wants to comment on pages submitted to a contest. 'Cause I doubt it's because we've stunned everyone into silence.
                              Vancouver Screenwriters Meetup Group

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