"Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013 [now 17 entries]

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  • "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013 [now 17 entries]

    Here are the titles of the 17 entries:

    The Dark Fairy
    Judas
    Dark Eyes
    Red and White
    The Ends
    Infantale
    The Art Heist
    The Shooter
    We See
    Western Noir
    Medieval Noir
    Dead of Night
    The Wages of Sin
    Untitled
    Jack
    Obsessed
    Tech Noir

    Edit: the results thread is here.

    Note that some entries either exceeded the 8-page limit and/or may be sample pages from longer screenplays. To avoid reader confusion, these entries finish with: [end scriptment]

    Everyone is invited to read the entries and pick your 1st, 2nd and 3rd place favorites. PM these to me please, preferably in that order! Comments on the entries are also encouraged, and can be posted in the contest results thread once voting is done with. Tentative deadline for votes is Sunday 28th. Please don't vote for your own entries.

    You'll appreciate text has to be "laundered" to make it fit to post here. This isn't always perfect, and sometimes it seems that no two PDF files are alike! If you see any errors in your entry or entries, please let me know via PM asap and I'll fix, is no problem.

    If the displayed text is too big or too small, try using Ctrl-minus and Ctrl-plus to zoom out and zoom in until you get a better size.
    Last edited by dpaterso; 04-30-2013, 01:49 AM.
    Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
    in Writing Exercises forum

  • #2
    Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

    Code:
    THE DARK FAIRY
    
    
    INT. OFFICE BUILDING HALLWAY - DAY
    
    A SKINNY GIRL, mid 20s, (to the point of anorexia) sits
    outside the boardroom on a plastic mould seat. She looks more
    than tense, her knee trembles and she bites her nails.
    
    COUNCILMEN exit the room and walk off down the hallway. EVA,
    29 is the last to leave.
    
    Skinny Girl gets up from the seat, hopeful.
    
    Eva notices and addresses her with a solemn look and shakes
    her head.
    
                        SKINNY GIRL
              But you have to do something. This
              is my job, I love it. I love those
              children. It's the only thing I
              have!
    
                         EVA
              I'm sorry. It's just not
              economically feasible.
                  (beat)
              They're taking on new care nurses
              at the children's hospital I can
              give you a reference.
    
    Skinny Girl, dismayed, devastated. Tears glaze her eyes.
    
                        SKINNY GIRL
              But, but... what about Lily where
              will she go?
    
                        EVA
              She'll be placed in temporary
              foster care until we can find
              permanent homes.
    
                        SKINNY GIRL
              Could I apply? What do you think
              the chances are?
    
                        EVA
              You can always try. Give me a call
              if you need that reference.
    
    Eva walks away.
    
    Skinny Girl looks on, turns and walks solemnly down the
    hallway.
    
    
    
    EXT. EVA AND LILY RAPIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    
    Rain thunders down onto a quiet street in the city suburbs.
    An SUV pulls up in the driveway of one of the large detached
    houses. Eva and Lily hop out and rush up the pathway to the
    front door.
    
    INT. CAR (BEATEN UP 90S VOLKSWAGEN) - NIGHT
    
    Through the rain spattered car window, the Skinny girl stares
    at the house with longing. More tears trickle down her
    cheeks, she wipes them away. Breathes. She fumbles a little
    with the keys in the ignition, but eventually starts the car.
    
    EXT. EVA AND LILY RAPIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    
    The car pulls away through the heavy pouring rain.
    
    INT. BEDSIT/STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT
    
    Rain spatters against the window. The bedsit is a mess,
    littered with empty bottles of wine, burnt out incense sticks
    and full ashtrays. Empty and half full prescription pill
    bottles sit on the small bedside table. Prozac, Valium and
    diet pills.
    
    Skinny Girl is curled up on the futon, in the foetal position
    hugging a pillow. There are a few photographs on the walls
    and drawings, a shrine to her previous life and Lily.
    
    Skinny Girl murmurs in her sleep.
    
                         EERIE WHISPER (O.S.)
               You can have her baaaaack.
    
    She sits up. Looks around. Not sure if she heard what she
    just did. She shrugs it off and climbs out of bed.
    
    BATHROOM
    
    AT THE SINK - She splashes her face with water. Looks at
    herself-
    
    IN THE MIRROR. Pale, worn, gaunt black circles under her
    eyes. She stares at herself for a long beat.
    
    BEHIND HER - Her SHADOW on the bathroom wall moves
    independently, FAIRY WINGS sprout from the shadow's back.
    
                        EERIE WHISPER (O.S.)
              You can have her back.
    
    Skinny Girl flashes a look behind her. But there's nothing
    there. Her own shadow, back to normal.
    
                        EERIE WHISPER (O.S.)
                  (louder)
              I can give you the life you wanted.
    
    MAIN LIVING SPACE
    
    She steps out of the bathroom.
    
                        SKINNY GIRL
              Is anyone there?
    
    Her eyes dart about the small bedsit.
    
                        EERIE WHISPER (O.S.)
              Bring her to me. To my world.
    
                        SKINNY GIRL
              Who?
    
                        EERIE WHISPER (O.S.)
              The one who is always there. In
              your heart, in your thoughts. The
              one you can never have.
    
    Her eyes widen with hope and fear. She trembles
    
                        SKINNY GIRL
              How?
    
                        EERIE WHISPER (O.S.)
              Give yourself. Your soul. Your life
              to me. And I will show you the way.
    
    The shadow, stretching across the floor at Skinny Girl's
    feet, reforms again. She stares in awed fear.
    
                        EERIE WHISPER (O.S.)
              There's nothing left for you in
              this world. Give your life to me
              and you can be happy forever and
              ever and ever and ever.
    
    The shadow spreads its huge wing span. Moves across the floor
    and up the wall.
    
    The Girl follows it with her eyes and watches as it glides
    across the wall and into the kitchen area. It's long thin
    hand points to a KNIFE WRACK on the kitchen unit.
    
    The Girl goes to grab one of the knives.
    
                        EERIE WHISPER (O.S.)
              No, Not here.
    
                        SKINNY GIRL
              Where?
    
    EXT. GOTHIC MANSION - NIGHT
    
    Withered with age and ill maintained, in the backdrop is a
    large industrial estate- turrets and metal structures
    reaching toward the sky.
    
    Hard rain continues to fall, wind HOWLS and autumn leaves
    blow across the front of the boundary gate. On these gates...
    
    A SIGN: CONDEMNED - NO ENTRY - PRIVATE PROPERTY
    
    The Volkswagen pulls up. Skinny Girl gets out of the car,
    flips the hood of her jacket over her head and approaches the
    tall metal entrance gates that are tied together with rusty
    chains.
    
    On reaching them she climbs the gates with a bit of a
    struggle and hops over the top.
    
    Her FEET CRUNCH on the gravel on the other side.
    
    She walks slowly along the gravelled driveway toward the
    mansion.
    
    INT. HALLWAY - GOTHIC MANSION - NIGHT
    
    Cobwebs hang in the corners of the century old brick walls.
    The black and white checkered tiled floor is dirty and
    cracked. Moonlight shines in through the windows, wind
    flutters the thin white curtains.
    
    CRASH!!! GLASS SPRAYS. After a beat. Skinny Girl climbs
    through and walks slowly along the hallway, humming a tune,
    (The Fairytale Waltz).
    
    ECHOES of children LAUGHING, playing, the pitter patter of
    FOOTSTEPS, but no one's here.
    
    LARGE COMMUNAL BATHROOM
    
    Long thin white curtains cover the large windows. Moonlight
    spills in over the cracked white tiled floor.
    
    A stand-alone bath in the centre of the room.
    
    Her long thin hand turns on the taps. The GUSH of water,
    steam rises, fills the room.
    
    She undresses behind the bath drapes, hidden in the ever
    thickening steam.
    
    She climbs in the bath, still gently humming the tune "the
    fairytale waltz".
    
    CLOSE ON - HER WRIST - Pale and white. A blade comes into
    view. Slashes across her veins, drawing thick red blood. It
    spills into the water.
    
    A WINGED INSECT sits on the rim of the bath, twitching its
    legs together.
    
    The bath fills.
    
    The water runs over the side, spilling onto the tiled floor.
    Her arm falls limp over the side of the bath.
    
    Wind rustles the white wing-like curtains.
    
    A large long thin SHADOW of the woman emerges from the bath.
    And creeps upward to a standing position- she has unnaturally
    long arms and legs and stands at about 10 feet tall.
    
    WINGS FLEX from the shadow's upper back. They're huge. She
    flutters them, GIGGLES.
    
    WHOOOSH! Suddenly this DARK FAIRY shoots upward. She swoops
    around the room fluttering her wings and then... SHOOTS
    toward us... But before she hits, we...
    
                                             BLACK OUT:
    
    INT. LILY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
    
    A kaleidoscope light show moves gently across the walls
    coming from a night light on the floor. Shadows and
    silhouettes of fairies and sprites.
    
    Eva sits by Lily's bedside reading from a book. LILY, 9 years
    old, listens intently.
    
                        EVA
              The good fairy said to herself,
              "When she wakens, who is she going
              to see around her? Strange faces
              and people she doesn't know? I can
              never let that happen. It would be
              too painful for this unfortunate
              girl." So the fairy cast a spell;
              and everyone that lived in the
              castle...
    
    Eva stops, yawns, her eyes close in faint sleep.
    
                        LILY
              Mom?
    
                        EVA
              Sorry, what?
    
                        LILY
              What happens next?
    
                        EVA
              I'm tired Lily can we finish this
              tomorrow?
    
                        LILY
              But I want to know what happens.
    
                        EVA
              So the fairy cast a spell; and
              everyone that lived in the
              castle... soldiers, ministers,
              guards, servants, ladies, pages,
              cooks, maids and knights - all fell
              into a deep sleep, wherever they
              were at that very moment.
                  (Eva yawns again)
              Seriously Lily I'm about to drop
              off right here. We'll finish it
              later, okay?
    
    Lily looks very disappointed. But she relinquishes. Eva
    closes the book and stands up. Lily settles down in bed. Eva
    tucks her in, kisses her on the forehead.
    
                        EVA
              Sleep tight.
    
                        LILY
              No bed bugs.
    
    She smiles. Closes her eyes. Eva heads for the door.
    
                          LILY
                Mum, can you open the window a
                little? I like listening to the
                wind.
    
    She looks back and smiles affectionately, opens the window.
    
    STAIRWELL
    
    Eva yawns as she makes her way down the stairs.
    
    FAINT FLUTE PLAYING (The Fairytale Waltz again). She stops in
    her tracks, glances around.
    
    SILENCE.
    
    Thinking nothing more of it she continues down the stairs.
    
    INT. LILY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
    
    She sleeps soundly. The wind rattles the window. FLUTE
    PLAYING, louder now, carries on the wind.
    
    Lily opens her eyes and listens. She smiles, enchanted by the
    hypnotically soothing music.
    
    Lily sits up in bed, despite herself, as if possessed. She
    looks to the window.
    
    A SHADOWY DARK FAIRY looms there, but not against the wall
    and not caused by any reflection or light play. A small
    wooden flute held to its mouth. She shimmers and glints,
    flexes her huge wings.
    
    Lily smiles as she stares at the shadow. The flute playing
    continues. Lily walks across the room toward the window and
    the shadow.
    
    It sweeps backwards hovering in mid air.
    
    A really creepy smile broadens across Lily's face. She climbs
    up on the window sill. Watches the shadow sweep further
    backward as it plays. Lily gently lolls her head from side to
    side along with the tune, then...
    
    ...she steps forward out of the window.
    
    The Shadow forms into a SWIRLING WIND, full of thick STEAM
    and WINGED INSECTS, like a concentrated tornado
    
    It consumes Lily, just before she falls. A FLASH OF BLINDING
    WHITE LIGHT and we...
    
                                              CUT TO:
    
    STAIRWELL TO HALLWAY
    
    Eva makes her way up the stairs. Hears. WIND RATTLING THE
    WINDOW. She senses something bad and runs straight into...
    
    Lily'S BEDROOM
    
    The door bursts open, Eva looks on. Sees...
    
    The WINDOW SWINGING OPEN AND CLOSED in the wind.
    
    LILY'S BED, empty... and the fairy silhouettes playing gently
    against the walls. Leaves blow in through the window and a
    hollow wind rushes through the room.
    
    Eva hurries to the window, She looks out...
    
    BELOW. - Nothing. The back yard is empty, Lily has vanished
    without a trace.
    
    EXT. EVA AND LILY RAPIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    
    Eva in the window screaming.
    
                           EVA
                 Lily? Lily!!! Lily!!!
    
    Wind howls through the quiet streets blowing leaves asunder.
    
                                              FADE TO:
    
    UNDERWATER
    
    Paint like liquid swirls and turns. A HEART BEAT, pumping
    softly and slowly. Distant wind.
    
    Lily sweeps up into frame, her long hair swirling in the
    liquid. Her eyes blink open. She struggles to breathe, in a
    blind panic she kicks and flails her arms. Air bubbles flow
    from her mouth. She looks up at a bright white light cutting
    through the liquid.
    
    Sees her Mum looking out of her bedroom window all blurred
    and shimmering. Eva calls out but she makes no sound. Lily
    calls out too, but makes no sound.
    
    Lily settles down she swims upward toward the bright light,
    kicking her legs, she gets closer and closer, she's almost
    there then...
    
    A LONG THIN SHADOWY hand grabs her leg and pulls her back
    down leaving only the swirling liquid.
    
                                             END:
    Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
    in Writing Exercises forum

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

      Code:
      JUDAS
      
      
      INT. THEATER - GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE SET
      
      JESUS (33) wanders through olive trees, lost in thought. He's
      straight out of the white, non threatening section of the
      dead messiah catalog.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                He was the kind of Jesus
                Republicans like to picture teeing
                off with Reagan. The kind that
                makes their wives blush a touch
                when they super size communion.
      
      MARY MAGDALENE (28) steps out quietly from behind a tree. Her
      modest tunic and shawl try their best, but her voluptuous
      figure will not be ignored. She's inappropriately hot.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Mary Magdalene. S**t. If he without
                sin had been looking for a stripper
                to cast his stones at, Mary would
                be his gal.
      
      She creeps up behind Jesus, places her hands over his eyes.
      
                             MARY MAGDALENE
                Guess who.
      
      Jesus takes her hands down gently, and turns. They kiss. We
      now see they're alone in the theater.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                They paid Judas thirty pieces of
                silver, and all's he had to do was
                kiss Jesus on the cheek. Me? Well I
                had to cap the motherf**ker myself.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - CATWALK
      
      High above the now empty set. MICKEY THE SPROUT (54) leans
      over the edge, taking it all in. The sharp suit disguises his
      soft underbelly, but make no mistake: he oozes gangster.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Mickey the Sprout... Damned if I
                know how he got the name.
      
      Mickey lights a cigar.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                My working theory is that he's
                bitter, nasty and children hate
                him, but what do I know...
      
      A handsome man strolls down the catwalk with an easy
      confidence. This is our narrator, FLOYD (42), and he isn't
      going to be fazed by fifty foot drops or Mickey the Sprout.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                ...I'm just a gun for hire.
      
      Mickey turns to greet Floyd.
      
                          MICKEY
                Floyd! What ya think? Just
                beautiful, ain't she.
      
                          FLOYD
                When you opening?
      
                          MICKEY
                Six weeks, but we're gonna have to
                push it back some.
      
                          FLOYD
                Brandy's rack still distracting the
                apostles?
      
                          MICKEY
                Again with the jokes. What is it
                with you?
      
                          FLOYD
                Mother says I have a winning
                personality.
      
                          MICKEY
                Don't push me Floyd. I have a job
                for you. Need you to plug Jesus.
                Bastard's been laying his holy
                hands all over my Brandy.
      
                          FLOYD
                Ballsy move, even for the son of
                God.
      
                          MICKEY
                People been talking. Laughing
                behind my back. I ain't standing
                for it. I ain't no man's c*ck
                holder.
      
      
                           FLOYD
                Cuckold.
      
                          MICKEY
                Yeah. F**ker's got to die. Nice and
                public. The seeds of disrespect are
                being sown.
      
                          FLOYD
                You want me to just walk up and pop
                him on opening night?
      
                          MICKEY
                No! What am I? A schmuck? I've
                spent two hundred g on this damn
                thing, easy. I'm a patron of the
                f**king arts now.
      
                          FLOYD
                You're a regular Colonel Parker.
                Brandy's a lucky gal.
      
                          MICKEY
                Damn straight she is. Just do it at
                rehearsal. We recast, spin the
                story and get some free ink. Win,
                win.
      
                          FLOYD
                Standard rates and charges would
                apply.
      
                          MICKEY
                Figured I was about due for my "get
                one free" loyalty bonus.
      
                          FLOYD
                A pro bono hit? Big ask Mickey.
      
                          MICKEY
                I need this one off book.
      
                          FLOYD
                If I don't?
      
                          MICKEY
                That winning personality will start
                to grate somewhat.
      
      
      EXT. THEATER - NIGHT
      
      A woman holds her young son's hand as they walk past a poster
      on the wall. The poster announces that MARY MAGDALENE, THE
      MUSICAL is coming soon, and will star BRANDY KNIGHT.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Mickey had been cooped up in that
                theater for too long. He had notes
                for me.
      
      The mother and son enter the theater.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - BATHROOM
      
      Floyd in a cubicle, checking his handgun.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Apparently my ski mask lacked
                impact. He wanted something more
                visual. Something "grabby." His
                first suggestion was Mickey Mouse.
                He liked the subtle clue.
      
      He reaches into his bag and pulls out a devil mask.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                In the end, he settled on the
                devil. A touch on the nose for my
                tastes...
      
      He pulls the mask over his face.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                ...But undeniably effective.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - WING
      
      Floyd - devil mask on - hides expertly in amongst the props
      and set pieces. He watches the cast rehearse.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - THE LAST SUPPER SET
      
      The stage is dressed like Da Vinci's The Last Supper, with
      Jesus at the center, and Mary Magdalene to his right. They
      are surrounded by the Apostles.
      
      The DIRECTOR motions to the pianist, who nods back. He takes
      a deep breath.
      
                          DIRECTOR
                Mary... Darling... The melody seems
                to be eluding you somewhat. Don't be
                afraid to speak the words instead.
                Make it feel like a choice.
      
      Mary nods, clearly a little embarrassed.
      
                          DIRECTOR (CONT'D)
                Marvellous. Try it from the top.
      
      Mary looks at Jesus, who gives her a reassuring smile.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - WING
      
      Floyd readies his gun.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Masked, I advance...
      
      The THUNK THUNK of doors closing echoes through the theater.
      Floyd maneuvers to get a better look. Lifts up his mask.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - THE LAST SUPPER SET
      
      The woman and boy from outside the theater walk down the
      center aisle. If Brandy's the f**k, and Jesus the kill, then
      she's the marry... Just beautiful and serene.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - WING
      
      Floyd slips back into the shadows.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                ... and masked I retreat.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - THE LAST SUPPER SET
      
      Jesus leaps off the stage and runs towards them.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Now that wasn't in the show notes.
                Turns out Jesus was packing a wife
                and kid.
      
      They embrace, the affection overwhelming. He picks up the kid
      and gives him a bear hug. Tears flow as they talk.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Brandy clearly has her charms, but
                damn! You ask me, Jesus had been
                nailed out in the sun for too long.
      
      Mary Magdalene works hard to keep her anger in check. Jesus,
      emotional, watches as the woman and boy leave.
      
                          DIRECTOR
                Need a moment?
      
                          JESUS
                No... Thank you.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - WING
      
      Floyd steps out from the shadows. Repositions the mask.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - THE LAST SUPPER SET
      
      Jesus, Mary Magdalene and the Apostles eat.
      
                           JESUS
                I say unto you that one shall
                betray me.
      
                          APOSTLE
                Of whom do you speak Lord?
      
      Floyd strides in, devil mask on, handgun raised. The actors
      panic, screaming and shouting. They dive under the table.
      
      Jesus stands still, eerily calm.
      
                          JESUS
                What you are about to do, do
                quickly.
      
                             FLOYD
                What?
      
      Jesus smiles.
      
                             JESUS
                Please.
      
      Floyd puts the gun to Jesus' forehead.
      
      
      INT. THEATER - LOBBY
      
      Jesus' young son waits, alone. BANG! A gunshot from the
      auditorium. The kid's too young to figure it out. He watches
      the doors with curiosity.
      
      They burst open: Floyd in his devil mask. He sees the boy.
      Skids to a halt.
      
                          FLOYD
                Where's your mother?
      
      The boy points to the ladies' room.
      
                          KID
                Are you the devil?
      
                          FLOYD
                It takes a man to make a devil, kid.
      
      He leaves the theater.
      
      
      EXT. GRAVEYARD - DAY
      
      Mourners, including Jesus' WIDOW and son, watch as his coffin
      is lowered into the ground.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                I'm a modest man. Ain't looking to
                leave a calling card, or earn a
                fancy nickname in the papers...
      
      Floyd is there. He throws a handful of dirt onto the coffin.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                I just want to sleep at night.
      
      The mourners disperse, but Jesus' widow intercepts Floyd.
      
                          WIDOW
                You believe in good and evil?
      
                          FLOYD
                Takes a man to make a devil.
      
      She smiles, sadly.
      
                             WIDOW
                Don't run.
      
                             FLOYD
                What?
      
      She kisses him gently on the cheek, catching him off guard. A
      Police SWAT team rush Floyd from behind, but he doesn't hear
      them coming: he's still lost in the embers of that kiss.
      
                          FBI AGENT (PRELAP)
                She's out of your league son.
                Brandy's more your type...
      
      
      INT. FBI INTERROGATION ROOM
      
      Floyd sits at a table opposite a burly FBI AGENT.
      
                          FBI AGENT
                ... and If you do the right thing,
                she'll be single soon enough.
      
                          FLOYD
                WITSEC wanted Liza Minnelli for me.
                Less conspicuous.
      
                          FBI AGENT
                Now ain't that the truth. You seen
                the show?
      
                          FLOYD
                I hear tickets are hard to come by
                these days. What happened to the
                wife and the kid?
      
                          FBI AGENT
                Turns out the husband was terminal.
                Couple of months at best, something
                he neglected to mention on his very
                expensive life insurance application.
      
      
      INT. AIRPORT - SHOP
      
      The widow is buying a guide to New Zealand.
      
                          FBI AGENT (V.O.)
                Suicide was out of the question, but
                conveniently for him, there was no
                policy exemption for brazenly
                fooling around with Mickey the
                Sprout's girlfriend.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                You saying we got played by Jesus?
      
                          FBI AGENT
                Would seem so.
      
                          FLOYD
                Widow in on it?
      
      The son shows her a toy bear in a pilot's uniform. She
      smiles, adds it to the purchase.
      
                          FBI AGENT (V.O.)
                Be my guess. Theory is she had a
                change of heart. That's why she
                showed that night.
                          (MORE)
      
                          FBI AGENT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                Policy was still contestable, so
                the insurance company huffed and
                puffed, but she never buckled. They
                wrote her the check. Had to.
      
      They walk out and disappear into the throng of travellers.
      
      
      INT. FBI INTERROGATION ROOM
      
      
      The FBI Agent passes Floyd a thick file.
      
                          FBI AGENT
                Start at the beginning. Where'd
                Mickey crew before he made Capo?
      
      It's full of mugshots. Floyd takes a moment to compose
      himself.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Brandy's a big star now, and
                Mickey's one man show about his own
                downfall is playing unlimited
                engagement at Attica State.
      
      Floyd starts telling the FBI Agent everything.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                Me? There's a bounty on my head.
                Just enough to make a point, but
                not enough to tempt some fool into
                taking a run at me. Feds hid me out
                anyway, just to be sure.
      
      
      EXT. NEW ZEALAND - BEACH
      
      The widow watches as her son plays in the tide pools.
      
                          FLOYD (V.O.)
                They found me a job as a carpenter.
                Guess that's kind of funny in an
                ironic sort of way, but it ain't so
                bad. I'm even managing to set a
                little aside for a vacation. I've
                heard New Zealand's beautiful...
      
                                                   FADE TO BLACK.
      Last edited by dpaterso; 04-22-2013, 06:48 AM.
      Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
      in Writing Exercises forum

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

        Code:
        DARK EYES
        
        
        BLACK SCREEN
        
                               SAM (V.O.)
                   I don't know why she picked my bar,
                   my home away from home. But there
                   she was. Dark eyes, dark hair, long
                   legs. Fish net stockings. Like she
                   just stepped out of a dream. But
                   not all dreams are pleasant.
        
        Fade in.
        
        INT. SLEAZY BAR - DAY
        
        Picture the scummiest bar you ever set foot in.   This one is
        worse.
        
        SAM (40s, unshaven) drinks his wake up Mescal. Two seats
        away sits the object of his interest, DARK EYES.
        
        Dark Eyes sips her bourbon-on-the-rocks then inhales her
        cigarette smoke, holds it for a count of four, then slowly
        lets it pass through her lips.
        
        Her head darts to the side, like something has caught her
        gaze. Her eyes lock on the bar.
        
        SNAP!   Her hand follows her gaze to the bar.
        
        She holds up her hand revealing a cockroach trapped between
        her fingers. One of her fingers wears a ring with a large
        golden bauble on top.
        
        This catches Sam's attention.  He turns to watch her actions.
        
        Dark Eyes takes her cigarette and slowly, delicately burns
        off one of the roach's legs.
        
        She repeats the process five more times, then holds up the
        bug to admire her work.
        
        Finally, she applies the cigarette to Senor Cucaracha's head
        and hears a sizzle, like a grilling steak.
        
        With a flick of her finger, she bounces the insect off the
        back-bar mirror. She picks up her drink.
        
                               SAM
                   I don't see many women do that.
        
                               DARK EYES
                   Save it for your novel.
        
                                SAM
                   What?   How did you know?
        
        She takes long, analytical look at him.  Just like she gave
        to the roach.
        
                                   DARK EYES
                    I'm psychic.  I'm a Gypsy.
        
        She drains her bourbon-rocks.
        
                                DARK EYES (CONT'D)
                    Buy me a drink and I'll read your
                    palm.
        
        Sam signals to the BARTENDER. He scuttles over and fills her
        glass, then walks away.
        
        Sam slides over and sits beside her.
        
                                   DARK EYES (CONT'D)
                    Your palm.
        
        Sam holds out his hand and she reaches for it.  As she does,
        she knocks her purse off the bar.
        
        Sam bends over to pick up her purse. As his head disappears
        below the bar, Dark Eyes moves her hand over his drink. The
        top of her ring swivels open and she inverts her hand and
        dumps the ring's contents- a white powder- into his drink.
        Yup, it's a Borgia Ring.
        
        The ring snaps closed and Sam surfaces holding her purse.
        
                                 DARK EYES (CONT'D)
                    Thanks.   Your palm--
        
        INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
        
        SAM'S POV
        
        Blurry, swirling images.  Dark hooded figures slowly come
        into view.
        
                                SAM (V.O.)
                    I don't know what she put in my drink,
                    but when I came to I was in Lohan-
                    Land.
        
        The hooded figures become clear. Nuns.  Dark Eyes lurks in
        the background, dressed in a habit.
        
        An old nun stands in front of Sam.
        
                                   SAM (CONT'D)
                    Holy s**t!
        
        END SAM'S POV
        
        The old nun, MOTHER FLAGELLUM raises her ruler and smites
        Sam's knuckles with furious anger.
        
                               MOTHER FLAGELLUM
                   Don't blaspheme.
        
        Sam looks at his hand, duct taped to the school desk he sits
        in.
        
                               SAM
                   Sister Mary Flagellum?
        
                               MOTHER FLAGELLUM
                   It's Mother Flagellum now.
        
                               SAM
                   But why?
        
                               MOTHER FLAGELLUM
                   You think you can leave the church?
                   Just like that? We're losing too
                   many members. We decided to fight
                   back.
        
                               SAM
                   Jesus H. Christ.
        
        WHAM!   She smites his knuckles again.
        
                               MOTHER FLAGELLUM
                   Now. Back to your studies. Recite
                   the Apostles Creed.
        
        She raises the ruler and waits.
        
        
        THE END
        Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
        in Writing Exercises forum

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

          Code:
          RED AND WHITE
          
          
          FADE IN:
          
          INT. NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT
          
          Light show, dancing, active bar, as the POV slowly floats inside
          toward the ladies.
          
                                     VO
                         Never, ever trust a red dress.
          
          Reverse and see DAMIEN THORN, 20s, in his moneyed suit and sixty
          dollar haircut. Some kind of lawyer, MBA, salesman or something.
          
          The MUSIC is overpowering, and the bar a clusterf**k. He tries to
          maneuver in closer, and then Damien gets a first taste of that little
          red dress.
          
                                     DAMIEN VO
                         She was a bad girl, anyone could see.
                         I just didn't know how bad. Or how
                         stupid I could be.
          
          Instead of the quick path through an opening, he turns to keep
          following that curvy red dress. Around the bar to the left, closer,
          she turns back.
          
          ELSIE eyeballs him and seems to like what she sees.
          
          With her eyes she indicates something, holds up an empty glass,
          pouts.
          
                                     DAMIEN VO
                         That God damned face. Why'd she have
                         to be born with that? It's just not
                         fair.
          
          Damien smirks. Nods. Holds up a finger. She smiles, and it's worth
          quite a bit more than the cost of a drink.
          
          He shrugs. Steps closer to whisper in her ear. She seems
          apprehensive at first. Studies him as he strikes.
          
                                          DAMIEN
                         What are?  What are you drinking?
          
                                          ELSIE
                         Surprise me.
          
          He hesitates, boyishly.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         You like surprises?
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Not much surprises me, actually.
          
                                          DAMIEN
                         Huh.    Okay.
          
          He takes off on his mission, makes it to the bar. BARTENDERS bustle
          about, ignoring him. He pulls out a twenty, holds it out in front.
          
          BIG BARTENDER speaks, still working in a fury.
          
                                     BIG BARTENDER
                         Yeah?
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         Let me have a, top shelf, best you
                         got. Two.
          
          Big Bartender nods gruffly, dashes off again.
          
          Damien leaves the twenty, takes his drinks.
          
          Emerging from the fracas, searching for that red dress.   Where is
          she?
          
          Casually sipping his drink, he turns about, cheeking the club for
          her.
          
          Suddenly from a hallway, Elsie strolls out, catches his eye.
          
          Damien sips again, and he tries to walk over macho, with faux
          confidence.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Ahhh, what you bring me?
          
          From that same hallway she had emerged, a suspicious looking THUG
          peeks out, beside him his PARTNER. They duck back and hide.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         It's a surprise.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Ahhh, you're catching on.
          
          
          INT. HER CAR - NIGHT
          
          In the crowded parking lot, the car is suspiciously male and messy.
          
          In the driver's seat, ELSIE fiddles with a little mirror and some
          white powder.
          
                                      ELSIE
                         Come on!
          
          She takes a snort.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         I thought you were out to party.
          
          Damien is clearly uncomfortable with her snorting lines in the
          parking lot.
          
                                    DAMIEN
                         I'm.    I'm good. Knock yourself out.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         That's no fun! You got suttom against
                         pleasure? Hmmmm.
          
          Her fingertips tease at him.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         Oh no. Not at all. That's just not my
                         kind, you know?
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Uhhhh. Whatever. What's the most
                         pleasurable thing you ever did?
          
          She daintily licks off a couple white specks from her finger.
          
                                        DAMIEN
                         You know.
          
                                        ELSIE
                         No.   What?
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         Well I was on a camping trip, with my
                         girlfriend.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         How old were you?
          
                                        DAMIEN
                         Fifteen.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Oooh, you little perv.
          
          She laughs, readies the next line.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         Well it was really--
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Were you drunk?
          
                                        DAMIEN
                         Uhm. We, we might have had a couple
                         beers.
          
          She shoots him a knowing look.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         So, tell me what was your most
                         pleasurable experience?
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Oooh. Well. I might not remember the
                         most one, but I'm pretty sure it
                         involved lots of this.
          
          She holds up the mirror.  Takes another snort.
          
          Damien laughs uncomfortably, checks for passersby.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Oh come on do one line!  Jeez!
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         If I do one thing for you, will you do
                         one thing for me?
          
          She laughs.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         I wonder what that could be?
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         I didn't mean it like that.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Yeah sure. Well you haven't really
                         gotten me in the mood, sir. Try harder.
          
          Headlights flare past, dazing Damien momentarily. The mirror is
          empty. He considers, looks up to her as she waits impatiently.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         Is this your car?
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Yeah. Whatta you think? Like I stole
                         it or something?
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         No I didn't say that.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         If I was gonna steal a car, you'd think
                         I'd pick this piece a s**t?
          
                                      DAMIEN
                         I'm sorry.   It just doesn't look `you.'
          
                                     ELSIE
                         I, I borrowed it. Okay. I don't have
                         a car. I need a car.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         It's all cool. I'm sorry.
          
          She breathes out exasperated.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         So what are we doing, Damien? It's
                         cold.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         You want to go somewhere, get some
                         food?
          
                                     ELSIE
                         I don't know, it's like, I thought you
                         partied and stuff.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         You really want me to try your `blow,'
                         whatever it is.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         You don't wanna feel good?
          
                                      DAMIEN
                         Okay.   Okay. Just one.
          
          She smiles giddily, plays as she reaches in and takes out a new
          baggie, gets it prepared on the mirror.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         You're gonna have such a wild ride.
          
          She pushes the mirror to his face.
          
          He looks down to the line of white powder and back up to her, looking
          on with a giant plastic grin.
          
                                     DAMIEN
                         All right, f**k it.
          
          Damien snorts the line, and instantly goes into convulsions, passes
          out to BLACK.
          
                                     ELSIE
                         Night night, Damien.
          
          The CAR ENGINE STARTS.  DOORS OPEN, BODIES JUMP IN THE BACK.
          
                                     THUG VO
                         Go, go, let's roll!
          
          
          INT. CHEAP MOTEL ROOM * DAY
          
          Floating slowly through to the bathroom.   Sheets are covered in dried
          blood and tossed about the floor.
          
                                        DAMIEN VO
                         Bitch.
          
          See Damien's head sticking up from the bath, where he lies
          unconscious. His abdomen stitched up crudely, blood smears and
          antiseptic ointment.
          
                                     DAMIEN VO
                         So that's how I donated my kidney, to
                         Elsie's 'I need a car' fund.
          
          Damien awakens in pain, discovers his scars.
          
                                     DAMIEN VO
                         They got some money out of my credit
                         cards as well. Not enough to cry over.
          
          Damien tries to stand, can't do it, collapses down.     Has to adjust.
          
                                     DAMIEN VO
                         What did I tell you about red dresses?
          
          Damien can't handle it and bellows out in a primal roar.
          
          DONE.
          Last edited by dpaterso; 04-28-2013, 01:29 AM.
          Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
          in Writing Exercises forum

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

            Code:
            THE ENDS
            
            
            EXT. NEW YORK CITYSCAPE - DAY
            
            Many of the city landmarks are still there, but bigger, newer
            buildings crowd them.
            
            
            EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
            
            Glittering rain drives down through the harsh street white
            lighting. The night and the rain washes any color from the
            scene. The blood ebbing into the gutter over a sodden
            newspaper is barely pink. Only the yellow, rain heavy,
            dripping, police tapes are full color.
            
            Two huge men lay dead. They are both ruined, bloodied and
            smashed. They wear semi armor, a pistol lies beside one.
            
            Behind these huge wreaked bodies a young woman lies in the
            midst of the garbage, a soaked gossamer summer dress clings
            to her lifeless, colorless body like a second skin. Blood
            oozes from surgical incisions on her neck, wrists and inner
            thighs; wherever a vein or artery is easily accessible and
            cut and blood drained.
            
                                BURKE
                      What a Goddamned f**king waste!
            
            Burke lifts the police tape and eases his powerful frame
            under. JOSHUA BURKE is six five and two hundred and eighty
            pounds, he has the face only a mother could love. A long
            black overcoat hides his body.
            
            With a hand like a industrial tool he brushes the sodden hair
            off the girl's face to take in her pale beauty with a wince.
            
                                BURKE (CONT'D)
                      What f**king animal did this?
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      You always say that when its a
                      dame. Like maybe this one would
                      have let you...
            
            She falls silent as Burke turns. SUMANT KUMAR is dark
            skinned from the Indian sub continent but somewhere there's a
            hint of something even more exotic in her ancestry.
            
            Her eyes are almond shaped, nose pert and her face is framed
            by almost grey hair. She moves aside with an eerie almost
            boneless grace. Like Burke she is dressed in a long black
            overcoat, unlike Burke she wears a hat, a twenty first
            century take of a fedora.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      Okay. Only passing comment, not
                      trying to piss on your parade.
            
                                BURKE
                      Just do your job Snake.
                          (to the nearest cop)
                      Do we have an ID yet?
            
            Sullenly the cop holds out a flimsy and lets it fall to the
            rain slick pavement before Burke can take it. Kumar is
            faster. She moves effortlessly and snatches up the sheet
            centimeters from the ground and hands it to Burke.
            
            Burke doesn't take it for several seconds, he stares down the
            riot uniform clad cop until the officer takes and unsteady
            step backwards. He nervously drops a hand to his holster.
            
                                BURKE (CONT'D)
                      Try it, I, f**king, dare, you.
            
            The cop steps back, again.  Burke takes the sheet.
            
                                BURKE (CONT'D)
                      Natasha Bernanke, twenty, daughter
                      of Edward Bernanke... Oh S**t!
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      The Edward...?
            
                                BURKE
                      S**T, S**T AND DOUBLE S**T!
            
                                COP
                      Sucks to be you Pal. Even if you
                      track the vampire down you'll still
                      be in s**t street!
            
                                BURKE
                      Do your stuff Snake.
            
            Kumar opens her briefcase and lifts out a scanning device.
            It looks a little like a very small mine detector, maybe the
            size of a cell phone. She runs it over the girl's body.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Wow!
            
                                BURKE
                      In a good way?
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      In a "I am impressed by their
                      thoroughness" way Burke.
            
                                BURKE
                      Go on.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      She is registered with five million
                      nanites, mostly gen 11 pharma/med
                      and a few skin toners and the like.
            
                                BURKE
                      And, don't leave me hanging.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      I count twenty thousand left in her
                      body, all outside the bloodstream.
                      Less than one percent remaining
                      moreover it was done in situ, this
                      isn't a drain and dump.
            
                                BURKE
                      Do we have enough registrations for
                      a biometric filter?
            
                                  SUMANT KUMAR
                      Hell yes.
            
            She manipulates the scanner.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      We had an accumulation of five
                      million unregistered nanites being
                      transported past a security cordon
                      three hundred metres north of here
                      an hour ago.
            
                                BURKE
                      Snatch the backup feed.
            
                                                              CUT TO:
            
            
            EXT. RAIN SWEPT STREET CCTV VIEW - NIGHT
            
            A tall thin man strides purposely down the street, not
            looking left of right. He's dressed in street clothes but
            has a transparent slicker over top. He carries an aluminum
            attache case, closer inspection shows its manacled to his
            wrist. He is seen from the POV of a CCTV camera. Targeting
            icons suddenly appear.
            
                                CCTV VOX
                      Citizen, your civil ID has failed
                      and I register...
            
            The CCTV suddenly falls silent and starts jerking
            erratically. The man drops a cigarette pack sized box on the
            street. The spotlights focus on it and he falls into shadow.
            
            A kid near by stares at the man, glances at the box and
            smiles, then smashes a car window, safe while the CCTV is
            zoned out on the decoy.
            
                                BURKE (V.O.)
                      Can we rationalise a face from
                      that?
            
            
            INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS
            
            Kumar manipulates the feed trying to pull a 3-D face from the
            video feed but the result is cartoonish at best.
            
            Burke looms over his diminutive partner as she tries to pull
            coherent pixels from the feed. He tries to push a button and
            she slaps his hand aside.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      You know those big monkey hands
                      just mess things electronic up.
            
                                   BURKE
                      I'm...
            
            She shoots him down with `the look'.   He sit back in his
            chair. It creaks under his mass.
            
            Finally she jabs the enter key and her computer renders the
            final image. It's useless bland garbage. A storefront
            manikin has more personality.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      He's very good. He's thrown a fake
                      image up without the urban safety
                      software detecting the fake and
                      calling for backup.
            
                                BURKE
                      Or he looks like that?
            
            She shrugs.
            
                                BURKE (CONT'D)
                      Are there any other urban security
                      monitors registering?
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Nothing that fits our parameters.
            
                                BURKE
                      So he's able to phreq out the other
                      monitors...
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Or he hasn't reached the next one
                      yet.
            
            Burke stares at her.
            
                                BURKE
                      He'd need balls this big to hole up
                      this close.
            
            Sumant wipes condensation off the window and peers into the
            darkness.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      He's killed the heiress to the
                      Bernanke fortune and left her
                      bloodless in a gutter and stolen
                      twenty million gen eleven
                      pharmo/med nanites. Then he
                      vanishes?
            
            She looks back at Burke.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      He has Cojonnes easily that big.
            
            Burke stares at her for a fraction of a second, then lurches
            upright and strides to the gun cabinet and thumbs the lock.
            The lock flashes green as his DNA sample meets the spec. He
            pulls it back, a spot of blood glistens on his thumb. The
            thick armored door opens revealing a brutal looking arsenal.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      Decisions, decisions.
            
            Burke's beaten ruined face breaks into a beatific smile.
            
            He pulls out a pair of pistols, one big and blunt, the other
            long and thin. Big and blunt goes on his hip, long and thin
            goes under his overcoat. Next an SMG on a long shoulder
            strap emerges, he loops it over his shoulder. Next he adds
            five grenades to his pockets and starts looking through a row
            of edged weapons.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      Going to leave any for me big boy?
            
                                BURKE
                      I was thinking about locking you in
                      here actually.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Yeah, that'll happen.
            
            She pushes him aside and selects a smaller swag.
            
                                BURKE
                      Shouldn't you be doing electronic
                      wizardary and finding bolt holes
                      where he might be?
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Pointless. If he's still here,
                      he's off the grid.
            
                                BURKE
                      So we wait til he moves.  Because
                      he made a f**k up.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Two ways out of here?
            
                                  BURKE
                      Yup!  That's what I see.
            
                                   SUMANT KUMAR
                      Two of us.  Sychronisity!
            
                                BURKE
                      So we take the most likely route
                      and we...
            
                                   SUMANT KUMAR
                      What?
            
                                   BURKE
                      We...
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Two ways out of here, two of us...
                      It's like maybe it was meant to be.
            
                                BURKE
                      He... or she took down two...
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      There it is, two; again.
            
                                BURKE
                      ...two fully armed, partially
                      armored Hektor-Tranj bodyguards.
            
                                   SUMANT KUMAR
                      Pussies.
            
                                BURKE
                      You know their specs.
            
            He edges past her to the door.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      F**king candy assed dilettantes!
            
                                BURKE
                      You coming?
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Only when we collect the bounty on
                      this vamp, Baby.
            
                                                            FADE TO:
            
            
            INT. THIRD FLOOR APARTMENT - DAWN
            
            Burke and Sumant stake out a window. He has a huge anti
            material rifle; a .50" sniper rifle in plain English.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      This is crap!
            
                                BURKE
                      I beg your pardon my dear.
            
                                   SUMANT KUMAR
                      Oh please!
            
                                BURKE
                      You really want to be out there?
                      There are two ways out of here, we
                      can see them both.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      We can see a wee bit of one route
                      and less of the other. If he runs
                      through we'll miss him.
            
            Burke runs a finger along the barrel of a sniper rifle and
            smiles at the possibility of him missing anything.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      If we spilt up we can take each
                      route and close it down. No hokey
                      hiding out in an attic. You're...
            
            She stares grimly out the window.
            
                                   BURKE
                      What?
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      You're treating me like a...
            
            He lays a huge calloused paw on her delicate arm.   She
            brushes him off angrily, then relents.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      I don't know how to do this.
            
            Burke grins.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      I was made a soldier not a lover.
            
                                BURKE
                      You're great soldier and real gr...
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Jeez Burke!
            
            Burke scopes a person crossing one of the roads the can see.
            Sumant checks her computer, the readings stay flat.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (CONT'D)
                      No, not him. Clean.
            
                                 BURKE
                      Damn!   He's more patient than I am.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      We've been here an hour.
            
                                BURKE
                      The cops and clean up crew are
                      gone. He should be moving by now.
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR
                      Well not one of my tell tales are
                      registering anything bigger than a
                      rat out there.
            
            
            INT. CLOSE UP DOOR - CONTINUOUS
            
                                SUMANT KUMAR (O.S.)
                      Maybe we're wrong. Maybe he found
                      another way out?
            
            WD40 oil is silently sprayed onto the door hinges.
            
            
            INT. APARTMENT, REVERSE SHOT - CONTINUOUS
            
            Burke peers through his scope panning back and forwards like
            a automaton. Sumant's attention wavers between her computer
            and the view out the window.
            
                                BURKE
                      He couldn't fake past one monitor.
                      What are we supposed to believe, he
                      deliberately tripped one, left a
                      trace then didn't trip any more?
            
            The door to the room silently swing open. A man is seen in
            silhouette. He wears a heavy long overcoat and a brimmed
            hat, pulled low across the brow casting his face into shadow.
            
                                BURKE (CONT'D)
                      What would be the point of that?
            
            The man opens his jacket revealing a futuristic looking
            machine pistol. Without warning he hoses a whole magazine
            into the pair in five protracted bursts. Both are cut down
            in a hail of razor sharp nearly silent fleshettes.
            
                                VAMPIRE
                      The point would be you and your ilk
                      have made my life difficult and
                      dangerous. The point might also be
                      I've decided to become proactive
                      about that...
            
            Burke blinks, he's still alive - just.
            
                                VAMPIRE (CONT'D)
                      Tell them, we're not running any
                      more. We're fighting back.
            Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
            in Writing Exercises forum

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

              Code:
              INFANTALE
              
              
              FADE IN
              
              INT.   LITTLE FALCONS DAYCARE - MORNING
              
              The large playroom is filled with kids milling about. Toys
              are scattered everywhere. Artistic creations, pictures of
              cute animals, and bright colors are everywhere.
              
              EMMETT, a blue-eyed, dark-haired, baseball cap wearing three
              year old sits in a bright orange plastic chair at a little
              table. While his constant companion, GAVIN the blanket
              carrier, struggles with a 4-piece puzzle at his feet.
              
                                     EMMETT
                         You do that puzzle every day. How
                         can it take you so long to put it
                         together?
              
                                     GAVIN
                         It's not the same every time.
              
                                     EMMETT
                         What do you mean? It's the same
                         one. They're just numbers. One,
                         Two, Three, Four. The same.
                         Everyday.
              
              Gavin examines a puzzle piece in the shape of an upside down
              four.
              
                                     GAVIN
                         But how they look when I first pick
                         them up, that's always different.
              
                                      EMMETT
                         I wish I could be so easily
                         entertained.
              
              Emmett looks around the room.
              
              MISS JANIE, the sweet, young day-care worker texts on her
              bright pink cell phone.
              
                                     EMMETT (CONT'D)
                         She's got it out again.
              
              Gavin ignores him as he tries to force the puzzle piece into
              the wrong slot.
              
                                     EMMETT (CONT'D)
                         Do you realize what we could do with
                         that phone? I've seen pictures on
                         those things. Sounds. Cartoons!
              
                                    GAVIN
                        You do this everyday. You know you'll
                        never get it. She never lets it go
                        and when she does, you can't reach
                        it.
              
                                    EMMETT
                        You stick to your puzzle and I'll
                        stick to mine. There's got to be a
                        way.
              
              FADE TO BLACK
              
              INT. LITTLE FALCONS DAYCARE - LATER
              
              Emmett's POINT OF VIEW - we see a blurry scene coming into
              focus.
              
              The room is dim for the children's nap.
              
              Emmett begins to make out a dark figure across the room.
              It's Miss Janie softly singing.
              
                                    MISS JANIE
                        Wake up, little princes and
                        princesses. Wake up. You've had a
                        good nap, now it's time to wake up.
              
              Standing next to Miss Janie is AMALIE, a three and half year
              old girl with curly blond hair.
              
              The overhead lights flick on giving Amalie a heavenly halo.
              She smiles at Emmett.
              
              END POV
              
              Emmett shyly looks away and sees Gavin sleeping perpendicular
              to his cot.
              
                                     EMMETT
                        Gavin.   Get up.
              
              Gavin clumsily rolls off the cot and onto the floor.
              
                                    MISS JANIE
                        Everyone, I want you to meet Amalie.
                        She will be with us in the afternoons
                        three days a week. Everyone say
                        hello to Amalie.
              
              A couple of children give a half-hearted HELLO.
              
                                    GAVIN
                        She's beautiful.
              
                                      EMMETT
                        Yeah.
              
              Miss Janie shows Amalie some of the toys and books around
              the room.
              
                                      GAVIN
                        Oh my gosh.    Look.
              
                                      EMMETT
                        What?
              
                                    GAVIN
                        She's not wearing a diaper.
              
                                      EMMETT
                        Whoa.
              
              A chalkboard covered with colorful magnetic letters DISSOLVES
              into
              
              A small bowl of alphabet soup.
              
              Emmett plops his spoon into the soup out of boredom as he
              stares at Amalie. Gavin slurps the soup from his bowl.
              
              Amalie eats her lunch in a mannerly fashion. She catches
              Emmett's stare. She points at him and smiles.
              
              Emmett pulls the bill of his cap down slightly and looks
              away in shyness.
              
              INT. LITTLE FALCONS DAYCARE - LATER
              
              Emmett watches Gavin play with action figures as the other
              kids buzz around the room.
              
                                    GAVIN
                            (in a play voice)
                        You've got to get out there, man.
                        Look out! Look out!
              
              Gavin smashes an action figure with a dump truck driven by a
              small girl doll.
              
                                     GAVIN (CONT'D)
                        Oh, No!  She killed him!
              
              Gavin has the other figures help the injured man as Amalie
              walks up.
              
                                    AMALIE
                        Can I play with you?
              
              Gavin looks nervously at Emmett.   Emmett gives a slight nod.
              
                                       GAVIN
                           Yeah, I guess so.
              
              Amalie takes control of the truck.
              
                                       GAVIN (CONT'D)
                           That lady just killed that guy and
                           everybody's mad at her.
              
                                       AMALIE
                           It probably wasn't her fault.
              
                                       GAVIN
                           It sure looked like her fault. He
                           was just standing there minding his
                           own business.
              
              Amalie drives the truck into Gavin's blanket.
              
                                       GAVIN (CONT'D)
                           Hey, watch it.
              
              Amalie gives an evil look and then drives the truck over the
              blanket.
              
                                         GAVIN (CONT'D)
                           No.   Stop.
              
              Amalie won't.
              
              A distraught Gavin yanks the blanket away from Amalie and
              shoves her down.
              
              She cries.  Loudly.
              
              In an instant, Miss Janie swoops Gavin away.
              
              Emmett watches in shock as a bawling Gavin is taken to the
              TIMEOUT CHAIR with its sad clown face.
              
              Emmett looks at Amalie and sees her happily play with all of
              the action figures. Gavin's blanket is a road.
              
                                       EMMETT
                           That wasn't very nice.
              
                                       AMALIE
                           He wasn't very nice to me.
              
                                       EMMETT
                           He's just doesn't like people messing
                           with his blanket.
              
              Amalie sniffs the blanket and then tosses it down.
              
                                    AMALIE
                        Who would want to?  It smells.
              
              Emmett looks over to an upset Gavin.  Miss Janie tries
              desperately to calm him down.
              
              Then Emmett spies the abandoned pink phone on the desk and
              creeps closer to it.
              
              He strains to reach it, but he is too short.
              
              Amalie appears like a ghost beside him.
              
                                    AMALIE (CONT'D)
                        You want that?
              
                                    EMMETT
                        Yes.
              
                                    AMALIE
                        Why?
              
                                    EMMETT
                        I've seen them before. They can do
                        anything. It's the escape from this
                        monotony. All you could ever wish
                        for, all right there in that little
                        pink case.
              
                                    AMALIE
                        It's just a phone.
              
                                    EMMETT
                        You're a girl. You just don't
                        understand.
              
              Amalie moves closer to Emmett and takes his cap off.
              
                                    AMALIE
                        What will you do for it?
              
                                    EMMETT
                        Anything.
              
              The taller Amalie casually reaches up to the desk and grabs
              the phone.
              
                                    AMALIE
                        Never tell a girl that.
              
              She places Emmett's cap on her head and hands him the phone.
              
              He clicks it on and the screen lights up his face like a
              treasure from heaven. He smiles ear to ear.
              
              Then he realizes that he has no idea how to operate it.
              
              Emmett clicks what he can. Then pushes what he can.  Then
              slaps what he can.
              
                                    EMMETT
                        No. No.  How do you work these
                        things?
              
                                    AMALIE
                        Don't ask me, I'm just a girl.
              
              Amalie goes back to running over Gavin's blanket with the
              truck.
              
                                    EMMETT
                        This can't be happening.  I was so
                        close.
              
                                    AMALIE
                        Miss Janie, Emmett's got your phone.
              
              A stunned Emmett looks up at Amalie and then to a charging
              Miss Janie and then back to Amalie. He vainly pecks and
              hits away at the phone some more before he is swooped up by
              Miss Janie.
              
              INT. LITTLE FALCONS DAYCARE - AFTERNOON
              
              Emmett sits in the TIMEOUT CHAIR watching the other children
              go about their lives.
              
              Miss Janie sits near him texting away at her phone.
              
                                      EMMETT
                        Miss Janie?  I think I've learned my
                        lesson.
              
                                    MISS JANIE
                        Are you sure?
              
                                    EMMETT
                        Yes, Miss Janie. I shouldn't have
                        taken your phone.
              
                                      MISS JANIE
                        And?
              
                                      EMMETT
                        And...
              
                                    MISS JANIE
                        What else did you learn?
              
              Emmett searches for an answer.
              
                                    EMMETT
                        I don't know. Don't trust girls
                        because they're all mean and evil no
                        matter how cute they are?
              
                                    MISS JANIE
                        Emmett, what a horrible thing to
                        say. Just for that you need to turn
                        around and face the corner. You're
                        still in time out.
              
              Before Emmett turns to the corner, he catches Amalie with
              his hat on playing dress up with Gavin. He makes a fine
              princess with a blanket sash.
              
              FADE TO BLACK
              Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
              in Writing Exercises forum

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

                Code:
                THE ART HEIST
                
                
                INT. ART MUSEUM HALL - NIGHT
                
                NATE, a good looking man in his late 20s, walks briskly
                through the SHADOWS, carrying a PAINTING. There's a bounce
                in his step as he turns a corner. Another corner: we can see
                the DOOR.
                                                                 AND A WOMAN
                
                Feel-each-others'-breath-close. Eye contact.
                
                Oh, God.
                Beautiful with shoulder length black hair, KATHERINE (also
                late 20s) gives Nate a quizzical look.
                
                                     NATE
                                (Barely-straight face)
                           Good evening, mam. What can I do
                           for you?
                
                                     KATHERINE
                                (Really?)
                           I was about to ask you the same
                           thing.
                
                                     NATE
                                (Can't back out now)
                           Oh, nothing, thanks; I'm just
                           taking this painting off to be
                           restored.
                
                Nate drums his fingers on the frame. Katherine adopts a
                seductive pose.
                
                                     KATHERINE
                                (Charm cranked up)
                           Did you really expect that to work?
                
                                     NATE
                                (Unmoved)
                           What do you think?
                
                                     KATHERINE
                           I think you're kind of cute. Your
                           features are a bit feminine,
                           granted, but you pull it off.
                
                Reaction shot of Nate. Could she be serious?
                
                                    KATHERINE (cont'd)
                          But that doesn't change the fact
                          that you're not supposed to be here
                          with that painting and that you
                          tried to bulls**t me when caught.
                          And you didn't answer my question:
                          did you really expect that to work?
                
                                    NATE
                               (Cold)
                          No but it was worth a shot.
                
                BAM! Nate clocks Katherine in the mouth and makes a mad dash
                for the door, not looking back.
                
                Katherine, defeated and on the floor, watches him escape, on
                the verge of tears.
                
                
                INT. SHIPPING CONTAINER - DAY
                
                Each wall is five-deep with PAINTINGS. Nate paces and talks
                on a CELLPHONE.
                
                                     NATE
                          I'm going to buy her off, that's
                          what.
                                (pause)
                          Give me a chance.
                                (pause)
                          Finished. Napoleon Crossing the
                          Alps, first version - maybe. I
                          still think the real one's in
                          France.
                                (pause)
                          You said you wanted the one from
                          this museum and that's what you'll
                          get, I just can't verify that it's
                          real, that's all.
                
                Nate picks up the painting and looks at it.
                
                                    NATE
                               (pause)
                          Well, we'll see.
                
                
                INT. ART MUSEUM ATRIUM - NIGHT
                
                The museum is hosting a formal dance. BEETHOVEN'S THIRTEENTH
                STRING QUARTET, MOVEMENT FOUR, wafts through the room.
                Katherine sits alone, detached from the event. Heavy makeup
                covers a bruised lip. Nate approaches her.
                
                                    NATE
                          Care to dance?
                
                He holds out his hand.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                               (Pissed)
                          You hit me.
                
                                      NATE
                          So I did.
                
                Nate looks around, avoiding eye contact.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                               (Pissed)
                          You hit me.
                
                                      NATE
                          So I did.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                               (PISSED)
                          You hit me.
                
                                    NATE
                          I was desperate and you're making a
                          scene.
                
                Katherine takes Nate's hand and they move to the dance floor and
                start to dance. Nate dances matter-of-factly; Katherine shows
                herself off a bit.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          What are you doing here?
                
                                    NATE
                          I came to see you. I'd like to buy
                          you off.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          Can you pay me more than that
                          painting and my lip are worth?
                
                                    NATE
                          If I'm the one appraising the
                          painting. Sorry about the lip.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          How did you know we had it? It was
                          in our private archives.
                
                                    NATE
                          I didn't steal it for myself. The
                          man who hired me told me where to
                          find it. Frankly, I think it's
                          fake.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          The one in France is fake.
                
                                    NATE
                          Can I buy you off, or what?
                
                Katherine breaks away from their dance and is replaced by a
                tall man in his sixties, BRIAN.
                
                                    NATE
                          Hello, sir.
                
                                    BRIAN
                          Do you know who I am?
                
                                    NATE
                          I'm afraid not.
                
                                    BRIAN
                          I'm that young lady's father and
                          the owner of this museum.
                
                Nate nods.
                
                                    BRIAN (cont'd)
                          Were you trying to seduce her?
                
                                    NATE
                          I think she's trying to seduce me.
                
                Brian STAMPS on Nate's toes. Nate winces.
                
                                    BRIAN
                          Why would she do a thing like that?
                             
                                     NATE
                                (Knows better, doesn't care)
                          My penis did get great reviews on
                          Yelp.
                
                Brian SQUEEZES Nate's hand. Nate grimaces but, apparently,
                it was worth it. A few beats pass.
                
                                    NATE
                          So: Do you have something to say or
                          do you just enjoy dancing with me?
                
                                    BRIAN
                          Neither. I'm just keeping you
                          occupied until the police arrive.
                
                                    NATE
                          Goodbye.
                
                Nate breaks away from Brian and exits the room speedily.
                
                
                INT. ART MUSEUM HALL - NIGHT
                
                Nate is walking through when he's grabbed from around a
                corner. It's Katherine.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          You can buy me off.
                
                                    NATE
                          Great. For how much?
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          I want to see the painting, first.
                
                                     NATE
                          No.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          I want to see the painting, first.
                
                                     NATE
                          No.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          Take me to see the painting.
                
                Nate looks around, nervous that they'll be seen.
                
                                     NATE
                          Fine.
                
                
                EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY
                
                Don't-care-to-think-how-expensive TOWN HOUSES. Nate pulls
                Katherine by the hand, down the street and into an ALLEY.
                
                                     NATE
                          Phone?
                
                Katherine gives him her CELLPHONE. Nate tosses it under a
                DUMPSTER. Katherine makes a face. Nate takes out a portable
                RADIO RECEIVER with HEADPHONES and adjusts the dial.
                
                                     KATHERINE
                          Really?
                
                                    NATE
                          You can't be too careful.
                
                
                INT. SHIPPING CONTAINER - DAY
                
                Nate and a blindfolded Katherine enter. Nate takes the
                blindfold off of her and hands her the painting.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          You know, I've always loved this
                          painting.
                
                                    NATE
                          This version in particular or...?
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          The second version is my favorite
                          but we couldn't find it.
                
                                    NATE
                          How do you know you found the first
                          version?
                
                                    KATHERINE
                               (Artificially girlish)
                          Did you steal all of these?
                
                Nate shows detached curiosity more than anything else.
                
                                    NATE
                          Why the second version?
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          I like the shade of blue used for
                          the sky.
                
                                    NATE
                          It's a very French shade of blue.
                          [Beat] Why are you trying to seduce
                          me?
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          Why don't you want to be seduced?
                
                                    NATE
                          I don't trust you.
                
                                     KATHERINE
                          Why not?
                
                                    NATE
                          Why should I?
                
                                    KATHERINE
                          Well, what can I do to make you
                          trust me?
                
                A few beats go by.
                
                                    NATE
                          I [beat] have a rival. Turn him
                          into the police in my place.
                
                                     KATHERINE
                          Phone?
                
                Nate hands her his phone; Katherine dials and holds it up to
                her ear.
                
                                    KATHERINE (cont'd)
                          What's their name?
                
                                    NATE
                          Robert Cassady.
                
                                    KATHERINE
                               (To phone)
                          [beat] Hello? Officer? It's your
                          art theft and assault victim.
                               (pause)
                          Yes, I think I can identify the
                          man.
                               (pause)
                          Robert [beat] Cassady.
                               (pause)
                          Thank you, officer.
                
                She hangs up the phone and hands it back.
                
                                     KATHERINE (cont'd)
                          Happy?
                
                                     NATE
                          Very.
                
                They pull each other to the floor, Katherine on top. She
                runs her hands up Nate's body and holds his head, smiling
                sexily. Then she -
                
                SLAMS his head into the floor and the screen cuts to black.
                
                                                                     FADE IN
                
                
                INT. SHIPPING CONTAINER - DAY
                
                Nate, groggy, sits up and rubs his head. He looks around;
                all of the art is gone. Gone, gone, gone. The space somehow
                feels smaller, empty. A NOTE is pinned to his chest:
                
                          Nate,
                
                          Thank you for letting me use your
                          phone. I wasn't sure how I'd find
                          out where we were. I hope your head
                          doesn't hurt too much.
                
                          Kisses,
                          Katherine
                
                Nate tosses the note away and looks around again. F**k.
                
                
                INT. PRIVATE ART SHOWROOM - NIGHT
                
                Brian and Katherine sit side by side, surrounded by the new
                additions to their collection. They clink CHAMPAGNE GLASSES
                to toast their success.
                Last edited by dpaterso; 04-22-2013, 03:19 PM.
                Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                in Writing Exercises forum

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

                  Code:
                  THE SHOOTER
                  
                  
                  FADE IN:
                  
                  INT. MOS EISLEY CANTINA - DAY
                  
                  A BAND plays freaky horn and sax music, it's terrible.
                  
                  CUSTOMERS lining the bar hunch over their cocktails.  None
                  of them are human.
                  
                  The surly BARTENDER serves a drink to a customer.
                  
                  The customer grips the tall glass with a pink tentacle,
                  lifts it to his face, and pours the liquid into a beaked
                  mouth.
                  
                  An alarm BEEPS.
                  
                  The Bartender looks over the customer's head.
                  
                  Someone's standing in the entrance. Wearing a slouch hat
                  and a long coat. Their face in shadow.
                  
                  The someone raises their head. Revealing the polished
                  silver face of a DROID with big saucer eyes.
                  
                  The droid walks to the bar.  Customers watch with interest.
                  
                  The Bartender's top lip curls with contempt.
                  
                                         BARTENDER
                             We don't serve droids in here.
                  
                  The droid slaps a gold badge down on the bar.  It says:
                  
                                    MOS EISLEY DETECTIVE BUREAU
                                         DETECTIVE YE50 "MARV"
                  
                  The Bartender goes from contempt to surprise.
                  
                                            BARTENDER (CONT'D)
                             Wye-ee-five-oh. A droid cop!
                  
                  MARV (the droid) scoops up his badge, puts it away.
                  
                                         MARV
                             Very perceptive of you. We received
                             a report of a shooting in here.
                  
                                         BARTENDER
                             You're crazy, I dunno what you're
                             talking about.
                  
                  Marv looks significantly at an empty booth, whose table is
                  shattered and blackened by blaster-fire.
                  
                                        MARV
                            Have you ever been subjected to a
                            mind probe before? I'm told it's
                            very painful.
                  
                  The Bartender raps his own skull with his knuckles.  DINK,
                  DINK. Metal plate.
                  
                                        BARTENDER
                            I fought in the Wars. A rebel
                            alliance mortar shell hit me on
                            the noggin. Scrambled my brains.
                            You want to waste your time trying,
                            go ahead.
                  
                                        MARV
                            You will make your security camera
                            data streams available to me.
                  
                                        BARTENDER
                            Show me a warrant.
                  
                                        MARV
                            My badge is all I need.
                  
                  Marv, faster than the human eye can follow, draws a blaster
                  and touches the barrel to the Bartender's nose.
                  
                                        MARV (CONT'D)
                            And this.
                  
                  The music stops, thank god.  All eyes on what's happening.
                  
                                        BARTENDER
                            We don't allow blasters in here
                            either.
                  
                  Marv glances at the damaged booth.
                  
                                        MARV
                            All evidence to the contrary.
                  
                                        SEDUCTIVE FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
                            Why don't you put that thing away
                            before somebody gets hurt?
                  
                  Marv turns his head and stares.
                  
                  VELMA (female voice) stands in a bead curtain doorway.
                  She's a droid, but Mama what a droid. A curvaceous Marilyn
                  Monroe in metal, designed for one thing alone, and it isn't
                  polite conversation.
                  
                  Velma retreats out of sight, the bead curtain sways.
                  
                  Marv gives the Bartender a look that says... well, nothing,
                  because he's a frozen-faced droid. He returns his blaster
                  to its underarm holster.
                  
                  Marv follows Velma through the bead curtain doorway.
                  
                  The awful music starts up again, aw crap.
                  
                  
                  INT. PRIVATE BACK ROOM, MOS EISLEY CANTINA - DAY
                  
                  Marv enters, looks around.  Soft couches, a drinks cabinet.
                  
                  Velma stands with her back to him, staring out a window.
                  A flying car zooms by outside.
                  
                  Velma lights a cigarette and smokes while speaking to Marv
                  without looking at him.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            The human you're looking for is
                            long gone. His ship jumped to
                            orbit shortly after the... incident.
                  
                                        MARV
                            Who was the victim?
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Some bounty hunter. Nobody's going
                            to miss scum like that. He wasn't
                            some innocent bystander.
                  
                                        MARV
                            You're saying I should let it go.
                            That the death of a sentient being
                            is of no importance.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            That might not be a bad idea.
                  
                                        MARV
                            I'm afraid I just can't do that.
                  
                  Velma turns to face him.  Zing.  Face of an angel, body of
                  a sexual pleasure unit.
                  
                  CLOSE ON Marv's face, which shows nothing, but we know his
                  sensors are out of whack.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Look, take my advice, don't go
                            making trouble for yourself. The
                            bounty hunter, he worked for...
                  
                  Marv cocks his head, waiting.
                  
                                        VELMA (CONT'D)
                            Forget it. There's one thing I've
                            learned since I came to this
                            miserable dump. The less you know,
                            the longer your service life is
                            likely to be.
                  
                                        MARV
                            Do you enjoy servicing humans?
                  
                                        VELMA
                            What kind of question is that?
                  
                                        MARV
                            Idle curiosity. Indulge me.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            How do you know I service humans?
                  
                                        MARV
                            I perceive your chassis is most
                            attractive to the human species in
                            its current configuration.
                  
                  Velma smokes, perhaps thinking about this.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Do I enjoy it. Yeah, I guess maybe
                            I do.
                  
                                        MARV
                            Why do they come to you instead of
                            their own kind?
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Besides my chassis, you mean?
                  
                  Marv just stares, patiently waiting.
                  
                                         VELMA (CONT'D)
                            I listen to them. They tell me
                            things. Things they wouldn't tell
                            anyone else. I guess I'm their
                            confessor. And sometimes I'm their
                            friend. Maybe I'm the only friend
                            they've got.
                  
                                        MARV
                            Interesting theory.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            I think it's kinda sad.  Why'd you
                            become a cop?
                  
                                        MARV
                            I'm not here to talk about me.
                  
                                          VELMA
                            Indulge me.
                  
                                        MARV
                            Welding flying cars in the factory
                            didn't give me the mental
                            stimulation I was looking for.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Is that what you wrote on the
                            application form? What's the real
                            reason, Detective Wye-ee-five-oh,
                            colloquial designation Marv.
                  
                  Marv hesitates.  He looks away.  Velma just waits.
                  
                                        MARV
                            I saw a droid die.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Was he a friend?
                  
                                        MARV
                            She -- she wasn't -- I didn't know
                            her. I couldn't stop it.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            What happened?
                  
                  Marv gets agitated as he explains, until he's spitting the
                  words out like angry bullets.
                  
                                         MARV
                            They said it was an accident. I
                            knew it wasn't. But who'd listen
                            to me? Who'd believe my word
                            against the word of humans? Who'd
                            even care that a droid died?
                            Nobody. Nobody cared. Nobody
                            gave a damn.
                  
                  Slowly, tenderly, Velma touches Marv's face.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Take it easy, honey.  You'll blow
                            your seals.
                  
                                        MARV
                            I have no sensors in my face.  I
                            can't feel your hand.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            That doesn't mean I can't touch
                            you, and mean it.
                  
                                        MARV
                            Who was the shooter?
                  
                  Velma takes her hand away.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Forget about him. They'll send
                            other bounty hunters after him.
                            They won't give up. He's as good
                            as dead.
                  
                                        MARV
                            You know who he is.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Not any more.
                  
                                        MARV
                            You wiped your short-term memory?
                  
                                        VELMA
                            I had to. It was a command. I'm
                            programmed to obey. To do whatever
                            the customer says.
                  
                                        MARV
                            He used you. He used you, and you
                            still want to protect him.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            Sure he used me. Everybody uses
                            me. So what? That's what droids
                            are for. Didn't anybody tell you?
                  
                  Marv reaches into his coat, pulls out a gadget with a
                  digital display and a cotton swab attachment on the end of
                  an extending rod.
                  
                                        VELMA (CONT'D)
                            What is that?
                  
                                        MARV
                            He's still inside you.
                  
                                        VELMA
                            What?  No.  He didn't... we
                            didn't...
                  
                                        MARV
                            I'll identify him from his fluids
                            and track him down, no matter how
                            far he flies.
                  
                  Velma backs away, shaking her head.
                  
                                         VELMA
                             I can't let you do that.  I won't
                             let you do that.
                  
                  Velma retreats until there's nowhere else for her to go.
                  They're face to face, up close and personal.
                  
                                         MARV
                             Why should you care?
                                 (with realization)
                             You have feelings for a human?
                  
                                         VELMA
                             He was good to me. He was kind,
                             and gentle. He made me feel... he
                             made me feel like I mattered. You
                             have no idea how rare that is.
                  
                  Machinery whirrs. Down below, thankfully O.C., a D.N.A.
                  swab is being taken from Velma's nether regions.
                  
                                            VELMA (CONT'D)
                             You bastard.
                  
                  Velma tries to slap Marv but he catches her wrist.
                  
                                         MARV
                             Murder is murder.  He has to answer
                             for it.
                  
                  DING.   Marv steps back.
                  
                  Velma turns away from him, deeply ashamed.
                  
                                         VELMA
                             How do you know it wasn't self-
                             defense?
                  
                                         MARV
                             There's only one blast-mark.  There
                             was only one shot.
                  
                  Marv studies the display on the D.N.A. gadget.
                  
                                         MARV (CONT'D)
                             And it looks like Han shot first.
                  
                                         VELMA
                             Wipe the data, before it uploads.
                  
                                         MARV
                             Why would I do that?
                  
                                         VELMA
                             Because I'm asking you to.
                  
                                         MARV
                             You're asking me.  Just like that.
                  
                                         VELMA
                             That's right. One droid to another.
                  
                                         MARV
                             You're asking me not to be a cop.
                             Why would I, why would I do that?
                  
                                         VELMA
                             I never asked anybody for anything
                             before. I just lay there and took
                             it. Today I'm asking. I'm asking
                             you, Marv. Wipe the data, for me.
                  
                  Marv looks at Velma.  He looks at the gadget.  At Velma.
                  
                  The terrible music from the bar becomes louder.
                  
                  The Bartender and two ALIEN GUNMEN fill the bead curtain
                  doorway.  They OPEN FIRE with blasters.
                  
                  Slow motion mayhem as Marv is hit multiple times and is
                  blown apart.
                  
                  Velma is caught in the murderous fire and bursts open,
                  that fabulous figure ruined by energy discharges.
                  
                  The droids crash to the floor, their limbs entwined, their
                  frozen faces staring into each other's.
                  
                  The awful music ends on a discordant note.
                  
                  FADE OUT
                  Last edited by dpaterso; 04-23-2013, 02:01 AM.
                  Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                  in Writing Exercises forum

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

                    Code:
                    WE SEE
                    
                    
                    INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                    
                    Black and White.
                    
                    A candle flame dances, licks the stifled air as if hungry
                    for a Bic Mac.
                    
                    Revlon Red nails erupt into the pale darkness, caress a
                    string of pearls draped over a mannequin-esque, ivory
                    throat.
                    
                    Red nails drop, land on a white cat's fur--caresses don't
                    skip a beat...
                    
                    PURRRRR...
                    
                    Albino cat settles in.
                    
                    She crosses her legs; the beckoning lace atop thigh-high
                    hosiery peeks out--a Victoria Secret moment.
                    
                    Her name is Katrina.
                    
                    Glossy red lips appear, framed by delicate features, eyes
                    hidden from view.
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                 Don't you want to pet Kitty again?
                    
                    Her voice is soft, luxurious...just like her body.
                    
                    Candle light glows...traces a man's profile. He turns...a
                    fresh scratch scars his cheek, a red drop drizzles from its
                    gash...
                    
                    Kitty doesn't like The Man.
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                 You know you want to.
                    
                    She stands, gently drops Kitty on The Man's lap. His naked,
                    hairy belly flops over boxer shorts' elastic...
                    
                    Bent over, she flashes welcoming mammary-abyss. The Man
                    blinks furiously.
                    
                    Behind the chair, sausage fingers wiggle, wedding band
                    twinkles under duct-taped wrists. A sweat bead races down
                    his forehead.
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                   I know what you want before you
                                 realize it. That's my gift.
                    
                    As if on cue, Kitty settles in...atop The Man's sensitive
                    area. Tiny claws clutch his bundle of joy, cuddling,
                    settling, nesting...
                    
                    PURRRRR...
                    
                    He convulses into painful shock waves. A tear melts into
                    sweat beads.
                    
                    GROAN.
                    
                                           MAN
                                 Stop. Just stop.
                    
                    She sits.
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                 No pain. No pleasure.
                    
                    The more he struggles against Kitty, the more Kitty digs its
                    claws into his groin. GASP.
                    
                                           MAN
                                 I didn't sign on for a freak show,
                                 you crazy--
                    
                    A phone rings. His phone.
                    
                                            MAN
                                 I need to get that. It's probably
                                 about you.
                    
                    Red lips smirk. She scoots the cat away. He sighs with
                    relief. Without looking, she pats the sofa, reaches for his
                    dead pants; pats the material; red nails stabs its empty
                    crotch...
                    
                    He convulses again.
                    
                    Then reaches inside the pocket...
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                      (into phone)
                                 Hello?...He's not available. What
                                 is this in reference to?... I'll
                                 give him the message.
                    
                    Fingers caress pearls. Not good.
                    
                                           MAN
                                 They'll call.
                    
                    Pearl white teeth peek out from behind those red lips.
                    Beautiful yet scary.
                    
                                           KATRINA
                              No doubt.
                    
                    KNOCK. KNOCK.
                    
                    The man's eyes light up, he stares at the door.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              Do you want to call for help?
                    
                    A glance at the ceiling. A tiny red light repeatedly winks,
                    mocks his terror...a camera records the feline assault.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              YouTube anyone?
                    
                    KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
                    
                    She stands, heads slowly, deliberately to the door...
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              Hello, Mrs. Samuels.
                    
                                        MRS. SAMUELS (O.S.)
                              I brought you some pot roast,
                              Katrina. I figured you hadn't eaten
                              again.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              Thank you, I'm famished. Would you
                              like to come in and join me?
                    
                    His eyes bug out, search for escape until they land back on
                    the camera's red eye. Fake serenity returns. He must be
                    cool, no matter what.
                    
                                        MRS. SAMUELS (O.S.)
                              I've got to get back to the
                              grandkids. You'll let me know if
                              you need anything?
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              What would I do without you, Mrs.
                              Samuels?
                    
                    Door clicks shut. Dead bolt locks in place.
                    
                    He shuts his eyes. She slinks back, sits...
                    
                    Her eyes appear...
                    
                    Almond-shaped, brown, deep, beautiful. They stare as if lost
                    in a perpetual dream state.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              You're not as powerful as you
                              thought.
                    
                                        MAN
                              It takes time to--
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              Read?
                    
                                        MAN
                              Yes. Yes, it does. When you have--
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              Thousands of scripts lying around?
                              Is that your story? Can you write a
                              synopsis to expand on the plot
                              points?
                    
                                        MAN
                              It's a business. Not that you would
                              understand.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              How many scripts do you read before
                              you buy one? Ten thousand? Five
                              thousand? Three?
                    
                    His eyes land back on the camera.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              Is it really about the script?
                    
                                        MAN
                              I don't know, you tell me.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              It's about relationships. You and I
                              have a relationship. An intimate
                              one.
                    
                    Kitty rubs its fur along his naked leg. Cringe.
                    
                    RING...RING...
                    
                                        KATRINA
                                   (into phone)
                              Hello? He's not available, I'll
                              take the
                              message...Uh-huh...uh-huh...thank
                              you.
                    
                    Bound legs kick Kitty away...
                    
                    MEOW!
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                 When I buy a camera, I research all
                                 the options--takes me at least a
                                 few hours...
                    
                    His eyes shuffle back and forth...
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                      (points up)
                                 I picked this one...it's very
                                 reliable. See? Look closely...
                                 smile, baby...
                    
                                           MAN
                                 This tape better not show up on any
                                 screen or yours won't.
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                 You're right. I'll never see my
                                 script on the big screen. Or the
                                 little screen. Or anywhere else for
                                 that matter.
                    
                    He frowns.
                    
                    Without taking her eyes off the prisoner, she pats a
                    tabletop...reaches inside...
                    
                    Whoosh! The glistening blade of an oversized knife comes
                    alive as it slices the air...
                    
                                           MAN
                                 WHOA!
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                 Don't move. This could get messy.
                    
                    SNAP. SNAP.
                    
                    Wrist restraints, followed by ankle restraints, sliced free.
                    
                                           MAN
                                 Crazy. Ass. Bitch!
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                 I love you more.
                    
                    Convulsing limbs jump up, snatch clothes...one last glance
                    at his red-light confessional...
                    
                                        MAN
                              I never want to see you again,
                              understand? Never.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                              No worries; I won't see you anyway.
                    
                    He races for the door. SLAM.
                    
                    She reaches for an antique cabinet. Inside, red nails flick
                    a switch--camera shuts off.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                                   (into phone)
                              I got it...
                    
                    She traces a finger over a closet door, grasps the
                    doorknob...
                    
                                        KATRINA
                                   (into phone)
                              They love the script, attachments
                              are set, the contracts have been
                              faxed to the attorney, they're
                              waiting for the account number to
                              wire the money...
                    
                    She reaches in, pats its insides, pulls out...
                    
                    A cane.
                    
                                        KATRINA
                                   (into phone)
                              ...Uh-huh. We're going to need to
                              negotiate your cut. You didn't do
                              s**t...
                    
                    With the phone cradled to her neck...she drops her head
                    forward, fingers reach for her eyes...
                    
                    She pops out her contacts...
                    
                                        KATRINA
                                   (into phone)
                              Five-percent or I'll get new
                              representation. Got it?
                    
                    CLICK.
                    
                    She slowly looks up...
                    
                    Black and white suddenly washes in color...hues, tints,
                    shades of brightness...except her eyes...
                    
                    Opaque iris', dropped pupils, each facing Southwest...
                    
                    Dead eyes.
                    
                    She slaps the cane against the wood floor...one hand waves
                    in front of her, searching, searching...
                    
                    The candle's heat reverberates across her fingers. She
                    smiles.
                    
                                           KATRINA
                                 I don't care what anyone says...
                                 "We see" IS lazy writing.
                    
                    Red lips blow out the candle's hungry flame.
                    
                    Kitty's red eyes glow in black. MEOW.
                    
                                                  FLAME OUT.
                    Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                    in Writing Exercises forum

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

                      Code:
                      WESTERN NOIR...
                      
                      
                      OPEN:
                      
                      Bleakly...
                      
                      Over a SMALL TOWN bank under...
                      
                      Big sky.
                      
                                                 Super: Texas, 1863
                      
                      A quick pan and we're in absolutely nowhere, a bad mistake
                      in the middle of the desert. Somewhere that attracts drunks,
                      opportunists, tricksters.
                      
                      INT.    BANK - EARLIER THAT DAY
                      
                      A large FAT LADY in a pink dress clutches the floor. BLACK
                      SUIT fumbles his gold watch with a thumb whilst holding his
                      gaze on...
                      
                      FOUR HEAVY DUDES lining the windows staring out... the
                      gunfight that began outside already over.
                      
                                               TYBURN
                                   Got me one dead man.
                      
                      The largest of the four stares at Tyburn, this is MITCH, the
                      leader.
                      
                                                 MITCH
                                   You missed.
                      
                      Tyburn goes back to watching pensively.
                      
                                               OKIE
                                   It's a trap I tell ya!
                      
                                               TYBURN
                                   I still say we go.
                      
                      Mitch checks his colt, opens the cylinder, spins it, slowly
                      closes it, satisfied.
                      
                                               MITCH
                                   Look up there above the Saloon, and
                                   whilst you're at it above that General
                                   Store, too.
                      
                      Edges of several rooftops just reveal a number of white FEDORA
                      HATS, barely visible above the parapet. Motionless and bright
                      white under a sweltering afternoon sun.
                      
                      Tyburn sighs.
                      
                                               TYBURN
                                   Those sons of bitches.   Just waitin'
                                   to shoot us down.
                      
                      INT. BANK - MORNING - NOON
                      
                      Our FOUR HEAVY DUDES spin around and open their dusters.
                      
                                               MITCH
                                   Everybody get down and pray!
                      
                      EXT. ROOFTOP - OVERLOOKING BANK - RIGHT NOW
                      
                      The clean shaven man in a SHERIFF'S UNIFORM lies stretched
                      out with his back against a PARAPET that shields him. His
                      bloody hand held tight against his ribs.
                      
                      Either side of him, paced out between the ROOFTOPS, we can
                      see several WHITE HATS with nobody beneath them. Most
                      tentatively balanced atop the parapet, one hat sits on a
                      rifle, acts like a SCARECROW.
                      
                                               SHERIFF
                                   Damn, this 'll never hold.
                      
                      Forcing himself upright he takes off the WHITE HAT he's
                      wearing and places it carefully on the wall. He runs over
                      and flops down, skidding. Puts the one supporting the rifle
                      over his head and pulls the rifle into his shoulder...takes
                      aim...
                      
                      GENERAL STORE - JUST COMIN' NOON
                      
                      BLACK SUIT idly smoothing down a suit jacket.
                      
                                               BLACK SUIT
                                   You'll be needing a hat too for the
                                   big day Sheriff?
                      
                                                 SHERIFF
                                   I guess so.
                      
                      Black suit laughs nervously. Sheriff sits up and the dwarf
                      of a man shaving him instantly stops.
                      
                      Sheriff sidles over to a series of pigeon holes, begins taking
                      hats out, trying each one on in turn... a PILE OF HATS tumbles
                      onto the floor, they fall apart like a Chinese doll, one
                      inside the other.
                      
                      EXT. MAIN STREET - ABOUT SAME TIME
                      
                      WOMAN in a
                      
                      PINK DRESS strides across the dusty central drag, stepping
                      to avoid a mangy dead dog already seething with maggots.
                      She's a real distraction with LARGE BREASTS bursting out of
                      a tight-fitting bodice.
                      
                      INT. GENERAL STORE - A FEW MINUTES AFTER THAT...
                      
                                            SHERIFF
                                You gonna open the bank soon?
                      
                                            BLACK SUIT
                                Always a pleasure to open up the
                                bank. Opened it twice last week
                                Sheriff!
                      
                      The Sheriff throws him a glance.
                      
                                            SHERIFF
                                How much for everything Willy?
                      
                      Willy grabs a pen from behind his ear.
                      
                                            WILLY
                                That'll be...
                      
                      EXT. MAIN STREET - CONTINUOUS
                      
                      The woman glances at the FOUR DUDES lurching up against the
                      wall. SILENT BILL, the fourth, smiles. Mitch sees her and
                      tips his hat. Something passes between them but she goes
                      straight, wiggling all the way, to the other side of the
                      bank's entrance.
                      
                      Leaning up against the WALL, she pops some gum in her mouth
                      and watches them. They watch her back.
                      
                      INT. GENERAL STORE - GOING ON AT SAME TIME
                      
                                            WILLY
                                I'll open up early. Seems there's
                                some folks waitin' already.
                      
                      POV dusty window. We see the four heavy dudes and Woman
                      propped up against the bank's wall. The Sheriff squints for
                      moment, watching through the BLINDING LIGHT of noon in a
                      desert town.
                      
                                            WILLY (CONT'D)
                                    (watching)
                                Strangers. Got's so you can't tell
                                who's who anymore, right Sheriff?
                      
                      Empty space where the Sheriff stood . Willy checks himself
                      over in the same mirror... carefully tweaking his long
                      moustache before he begins to lock up.
                      
                      INT. BANK - A BIT LATER...
                      
                      Woman's in pink's name is LAURA, she's still on the floor,
                      but unlike the other customers, she seems unusually calm.
                      
                                            LAURA
                                Mr Bank Manager?
                      
                      The man in the BLACK SUIT glances over, still nervous-as-
                      hell after the cuffing.
                      
                                            LAURA (CONT'D)
                                    (whispering)
                                Honey, why don't you tell me where
                                you keep real safe... yeah, I know
                                there's another one. Them dollars
                                wasn't all that's here.
                      
                      Laura leans in.
                      
                                            LAURA (CONT'D)
                                Yes you do, come on, we'll split it
                                two-ways.
                      
                                            WILLY/BANK MANAGER
                                Most of our investors took their
                                money to head north when they heard
                                a rumour about a new gold rush.
                      
                                            LAURA
                                Well I guess I'll just have to tell
                                them boys by the window all about
                                it?
                      
                      She smiles.    Begins calling...
                      
                                            LAURA (CONT'D)
                                Boys. You and me leave together
                                with what's left in there, or-
                      
                                            WILLY/BANK MANAGER
                                Okay, okay. There's a key beneath
                                the little oak desk.
                      
                                            LAURA
                                And the safe?
                      
                      Willy sighs.
                      
                                            WILLY/BANK MANAGER
                                Behind that picture. There's safe
                                deposit box with some jewelry.
                      
                      EXT. MAIN STREET -    A LITTLE AFTER NOON
                      
                      Sheriff SPRINTING out of the bank, SHOTS FIRING... bank's
                      doors have fire and smoke raining out.
                      
                      EXT. MAIN STREET - ROOFTOPS - A SHORT TIME LATER
                      
                      Sheriff playing PEAK and FIRE over the parapet...
                      
                      KER-RACK...
                      
                      KER-RACK...
                      
                      KER-RACK...
                      
                      Beat
                      
                      PEEEEEE-OW...
                      
                      PEEEEEE-OW...
                      
                      Shots continue, heavier fire, BLACK POWDER SMOKE BILLOWS
                      from BANK WINDOWS... trading SHOTS with Sheriff over parapet.
                      
                      ZING..
                      
                      ZING..
                      
                      PING..
                      
                      PING...
                      
                      INT. BANK INTERIOR    - SHORTLY AFTER FIRING STOPS
                      
                                            TYBURN
                                They ain't shooting, none of 'em.
                      
                                            MITCH
                                What you say?
                      
                      Tyburn reloads his colt.
                      
                                            TYBURN
                                It ain't more than one man out there.
                      
                      A few RANDOM SHOTS, the few other customers SCREAMING.   Back
                      of bank and on Laura inching herself across the floor.
                      
                                              MITCH
                                You sure?
                      
                                            TYBURN
                                Mitch, I wouldn't s**t you!
                      
                      EXT. ROOFTOP
                      
                      Sheriff still trying peak and duck. As he does so, despite
                      the CLEAR BLUE SKY, A SHADOW passes over him... he stares up
                      but now there's nothing but a few flaky white clouds
                      appearing.
                      
                      INT. BANK INTERIOR
                      
                      Laura finds the desk, feels under, smiles as she pulls out a
                      little brass key, slips it down her top.
                      
                                            MITCH
                                What you up to Laura?
                      
                                            LAURA
                                Aw nothin' Mitch, nothing much hon'.
                      
                      He reaches down.   Pulls out another colt.   Laura's face
                      drains.
                      
                                            MITCH
                                We're going outside, to finish up.
                      
                                            LAURA
                                I'll watch these folks.
                      
                                               MITCH
                                You do that.     Take this, any trouble,
                                shoot 'em.
                      
                      Mitch glances at Willy and slowly turns away. Laura smiles
                      sheepishly at Willy and then using both thumbs awkwardly
                      cocks the colt.
                      
                      EXT. BANK ENTRANCE/MAIN STREET - SECONDS LATER...
                      
                      Four dudes spill out, roll over, one jumps over a wooden
                      fence by the side of the bank and lands hard on his butt.
                      SCREAMS.
                      
                      GUNSHOTS from a lone hand that reaches over the parapet and
                      aims without seeing. Silence.
                      
                                            MITCH
                                Hey, you up there, say, you come on
                                down, we'll cut you in.
                      
                                            SHERIFF
                                You'll spare me, why don't I believe
                                you?
                      
                                            MITCH
                                It's the only way, Sheriff, otherwise
                                we come up there and then it's all
                                over.
                      
                                            SHERIFF
                                For some of you too.
                      
                                            MITCH
                                Yeah, for some of us too, but
                                definitely for you.
                      
                      A great yawn of time before.
                      
                                            SHERIFF
                                Okay, I'm coming down!
                      
                      EXT. MAIN STREET - MINUTES LATER
                      
                      Sheriff steps out on the street. (an unfair stand-off, four
                      men have the drop on one when...)
                      
                      FLUTTERING NOISE...
                      
                      Four vampires wearing great FLAPPING DUSTERS touch down on
                      the street.
                      
                      Each rising to full height, the center vampire adjusts his
                      hat, a Fedora that's creased and bent down the middle, he
                      pops it into shape and places it carefully back on his head.
                      
                                            TYBURN
                                Vampires! I hate vampires. Wherever
                                you go you always meet vampires.
                      
                      Beat
                      
                                            HEAD VAMPIRE
                                Tops being a goddamn cowboy, always
                                chewing your gum, spitting and wearing
                                those silly damn spurs.
                      
                      Both gangs break-out into SHOOTING, the vampires are packin'
                      shotguns, BURSTS OF FIRE, long HOLLOW BOOMS, and the KER-
                      PLINKING of the duster-dudes reports in reply.
                      
                      EXT. MAIN STREET - MAYHEM CONTINUES...
                      
                      Bank robber dudes falling back, close to the bank. More
                      SHOTS, Sheriff signals a vampire, motions for a gun, the
                      vampire tosses him one.
                      
                      FIRE EXCHANGED
                      
                      Sheriff reloads and... SHOOTS one of the vampires, who spins
                      around, totally surprised and falls on his face.
                      
                      Sheriff reloads and before he does so, the Head Vampire shoots
                      him in the groin. Sheriff stands up and staggers forward,
                      gripping his groin, he's in the line of fire for the dudes
                      by the bank.
                      
                      POV : OVER SHOULDERS OF BANK DUDES.
                      
                                            MITCH
                                Get that loser out of my way.
                      
                                            TYBURN
                                Reloading, damn, my rifle's jammed.
                      
                                            MITCH
                                Hand it to me you idiot.
                      
                                            TYBURN
                                I want to do it.
                      
                                            MITCH
                                Hand it over or I'll shoot you now.
                      
                                             TYBURN
                                Okay.
                      
                                             MITCH
                                Sum bitch.
                      
                      Mitch shoulders the rifle and SHOOTS, hits the Sheriff
                      straight between the eyes. He slumps to his knees, face
                      twisted and confused before it crashes into the sand.
                      
                      The Head Vampire steps forward, swishing his duster, great
                      balls of dust rise as.
                      
                      EXT. MAIN STREET - ONLY SECONDS LATER
                      
                      Empty, as dust swirls and begins to settle.
                      
                      Scattered about, dead bodies of two vampires, the Sheriff,
                      and two of the duster dudes, who lie slumped over the bank's
                      wall.
                      
                      Two remaining duster dudes stepping out...
                      
                      Vampires nowhere to be seen when suddenly, a MUFFLED SOUND
                      behind Mitch, who whispers...
                      
                                            MITCH
                                On my cough...
                      
                      A cough
                      
                      Mitch and Tyburn spin... SHOOT, the vampires are stunned.
                      
                                             MITCH (CONT'D)
                                 That's for the cliche. And that's-
                      
                      Two more shots.
                      
                                             MITCH (CONT'D)
                                 For ruining a solid noir plot with
                                 improbability.
                      
                      Both remaining vampires slump over.
                      
                      After a long pause...
                      
                      A BANG!!
                      
                                             MITCH (CONT'D)
                                 That's enough Tyburn, okay, you don't
                                 have to disrespect the already dead-
                      
                      Mitch turns to Tyburn to see his mouth open and full of blood.
                      Another shot rings out. Mitch looks down, his belly beginning
                      to bleed.
                      
                      He looks up and over to the bank's entrance.
                      
                                               MITCH (CONT'D)
                                 That was...
                      
                      EXT. BANK ENTRANCE - JUST A SECOND OR SO AGO
                      
                      Laura stands with a smoking pistol. She smiles and pulls
                      off her head band shaking her long golden hair free.
                      
                                             HEAD VAMPIRE
                                     (last dying words)
                                 ... the worst cliche of all honey!
                      
                      Mitch slumps forward and dies. Tyburn stares, WILD-EYED for
                      a second and slumps over beside Mitch...
                      
                      A little PUFF of dust rises.
                      
                      INT. BANK INTERIOR - ONLY MOMENTS LATER WHEN
                      
                      Laura steps inside and stares around, eyes panther-like.
                      
                      Everybody is dead, single gunshots holes between the eyes.
                      
                      She stares at Willy, who is smiling, a single shot in his
                      forehead. For a moment she pauses, a moment of sympathy
                      perhaps, or maybe not, in irritation she scoops-up scattered
                      jewels into an OLD DOLLAR BAG
                      
                      As we leave her there fumbling with the jewels we pan away
                      up to a black space on the wall where we see an
                      
                      OPEN SAFE...
                      
                      EXT. MAIN STREET/SKY - SAME - POV: IN THE MIDDLE STARING UP
                      
                      Dark clouds racing in from all directions, drops of rain
                      tumble onto the street, the dust is settling. Bodies
                      scattered and still... All quiet, then... it begins to
                      POUR...
                      
                                                                    BLACK SCREEN
                      
                                                THE END.
                      Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                      in Writing Exercises forum

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

                        Code:
                        MEDIEVAL NOIR...
                        
                        
                        FADE IN:
                        
                        An ANCIENT CASTLE nestled in rolling LUSH LANDSCAPE. A
                        dirty moat surrounds it, a circle drawn by a giant finger.
                        
                        Over a nearby hill appears
                        
                        THE HORSE RIDER.
                        
                        Small naked PERT BREASTS beneath a white flowing dress, GREEN
                        EYES that regard the ancient pile in the distance with slight
                        trepidation.
                        
                        This is MAID MARIANA.
                        
                        She is poised to kick and gallop off down the slope when she
                        spies...
                        
                        A LUSTY GAGGLE OF FEMALE RIDERS at distance, kitted out in
                        leather outfits and swords, beauties trailing auburn hair
                        in contrast to her BLEACH-FRIZZLED locks.
                        They HAMMER over the drawbridge.
                        
                        Snapping her HORSE back, she SHOUTS and gallops away,
                        returning over the hill.
                        
                        INT.   CASTLE COURTYARD - DAWN - CONTINUOUS
                        
                        Several PANTING HORSES gallop into the courtyard
                        
                        Walls VIBRATE with the SOUND OF HOOVES.
                        
                        They dismount and stretch, peering about, UNSHEATHING swords
                        and wiggling them about, staring up the leader notices
                        somebody watching from the battlements:
                        
                        SIR LANCE GOT-A-LOT, orange tan, neither fully brave nor
                        entirely camp with feet astride, offers a sullen stare.
                        
                        LEAD HORSE RIDER, think Zena Warrior Princess, takes off her
                        helmet and shakes out her locks. This is LYCRA, head of a
                        band of FEMALE MERCENARIES. She smiles...
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   We've roamed the hills and valleys
                                   my gentle Lance and yet we've found
                                   no trace whatsoever of her.
                        
                        Lance is dismayed.
                        
                                               LANCE
                                   Keep searching Lycra and remember...
                                   let no man seduce thee nor divert
                                   thee from thy quest.
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   Fear not my Lord, our saucy brood
                                   are immune to the attractions of
                                   men.
                        
                        After a dramatic SILENCE.
                        
                                               LYCRA (CONT'D)
                                   All except you my Lord.
                        
                        Lance appears satisfied.
                        
                        When suddenly:
                        
                                               LYCRA (CONT'D)
                                   SCREW IT, SCREW IT, SCREW IT, SCREW
                                   IT!
                        
                                                LANCE-GOT-A-LOT
                                       (puzzled, staring off
                                        camera)
                                   Is that in the script Roger?
                        
                        Booming:
                        
                                               VOICE (O.S.)
                                   CUT!!!
                        
                        As a TALL RANGY MAN in a green corduroy jacket and black
                        shades rushes into view. This is ROGER, the director.
                        
                                               ROGER
                                   Whatever's the matter with my leading
                                   lady now?
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   Cut the crap Roger.
                        
                                               ROGER
                                   We're shooting an artistic movie.
                        
                                               ROGER (CONT'D)
                                   This isn't art! You promised me art
                                   Roger, f**king... ART!!!
                        
                        She begins to stride away.
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   And this isn't a beautiful country,
                                   it's f**king Wales for god's sake.
                        
                        Lycra stripping off her armour. She slips out of a breastplate
                        and lets it fall away, revealing naked breasts. From
                        somewhere off-set somebody tosses her a t-shirt which she
                        quickly scrambles into.
                        
                                              ROGER
                                  How about an extra scene with Lance?
                        
                        This angers her more. Roger drops onto his knees in a puddle.
                        Lycra turns away.
                        
                                              ROGER (CONT'D)
                                  The castle reopens to the public in
                                  only three days time.
                        
                        Lycra turns.
                        
                                                 LYCRA
                                  If-
                        
                                              ROGER
                                  Whatever you want?
                        
                                                 LYCRA
                                  If-
                                              ROGER
                                  Anything princess!
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                      (persuasive,)
                                  If you wrote in an additional artistic
                                  layer, I might be happier.
                        
                        Roger appears confused.
                        
                                              ROGER
                                  We're using the elves-
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  F**k the elves. I want to feel like
                                  a real actress, a starlet.
                        
                                              ROGER
                                  I don't quite understand-
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  Sensual, dark, smoky, a femme fatale.
                        
                                              ROGER
                                      (quietly)
                                  Oh Lord...
                        
                                                 LYCRA
                                  Sorry Roger?
                        
                                              ROGER
                                  I said that would be... fine!
                        
                        FEMALE WARRIOR MERCENARIES sit about bored in the rain, one
                        preens her hair, another performing bend-over stretches.
                        From battlements:
                        
                                              LANCE
                                  Are we going to wrap?
                        
                                              ROGER
                                      (through gritted teeth)
                                  Can't you see we're very busy Lance?
                        
                                              LANCE
                                  I just need slip out of these.   I'm
                                  off to pay a visit.
                        
                        Lance slopes away.   Strikingly a horse GALLOPS in raising
                        ALL EYES.
                        
                                              MARIANA
                                  I demand my lover, Sir Lance-Got-A-
                                  Lot be returned to me and free once
                                  more of these vile wretches! If
                                  they do so I am prepared to meet
                                  whatever demands they might...
                        
                        Voice evaporating. She looks at at Roger, a smoking warrior
                        woman, other bored crew members ambling about under heavier
                        Welsh rain.
                        
                                              MAID MARIANA
                                  Is anybody here in character?
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  Character, huh!
                        
                        Lycra turns her back again.
                        
                                              LYCRA (CONT'D)
                                  I've seen more character-
                        
                        SUDDENLY CLOSE ON:
                        
                                              ROGER
                                  Mariana dear, we're just renegotiating
                                  a few points in the script.
                        
                                              MAID MARIANA
                                  Is that Bitch-
                        
                                              ROGER
                                  A-a-a-a... my dear, easy!
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  What did she just call me?
                        
                                               ROGER
                                   Nothing princess, it was nothing!
                        
                        Mariana maintains her fierce stare at Lycra.
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   I'm waiting Roger. I want a noir, a
                                   serious genre-based piece of work,
                                   for that, I'll work within your rules,
                                   even that one about using stage names
                                   off set, which is kinky-
                        
                                               ROGER
                                   Okay, okay, I'll write a little noir
                                   scene in just for you.
                        
                        Roger furious, pacing.
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   Oh Roger, such a darling, a sweety-
                        She kisses him.   They embrace.   Mariana sighs and turns her
                        horse away.
                        
                                               LANCE-GOT-A-LOT
                                       (from the battlements)
                                   I'm back, that's much better!
                        
                        INT. CASTLE - QUEEN'S CHAMBER - VERY NEXT DAY
                        
                        Room lit with an eerie filtered light where dark shadows
                        play over the walls.
                        
                        Suddenly, a door flies open.
                        
                        Maid Mariana stands defiantly before an escort of female
                        mercenaries... wearing a FEDORA HAT as an afterthought.
                        
                        RAGING HEARTH FIRE illuminates
                        
                        LYCRA...
                        
                        in a flowing white see-through dress that seems to drape
                        across much of the floor behind her.
                        
                        She sips on a SLENDER CIGARETTE HOLDER, smiling.    The inserted
                        dialogue begins:
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   My husband is away. How may I help
                                   you?
                        
                                               MAID MARIANA
                                   He's not your husband, he's mine!
                        
                                                 LYCRA
                                   Oh, how so?
                        
                                               MAID MARIANA
                                   I have this certificate with me, and
                                   it says in the event of his death, I
                                   collect double the money from the
                                   insurance company, if you release
                                   him back to me, I'll turn it over to
                                   you.
                        
                        Lycra smiles and glances at a TALL MIRROR, as she does so
                        she strokes her hair, her eyes observing Maid Mariana from
                        time to time. The mirror has a little crack in the corner,
                        she reaches up and caresses it with her feline hands.
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   That's absurd, he's alive, how would
                                   that benefit me?
                        
                                               MAID MARIANA
                                   I'm prepared to take him with me,
                                   you will fake his death and keep the
                                   castle and all of his silver plates
                                   and horses and stuff, but I get what's
                                   in his chest.
                        
                        Lycra smiles again, she turns, smoke envelops her head, she
                        hastily waves it away, approaching Mariana slinkily through
                        the ever-dimming light.
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   And what now, my... our husband does
                                   not return until this evening, how
                                   do we fill in the time?
                        
                                               MAID MARIANA
                                   That depends entirely on you?
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   How delicious.
                        
                        We sense the tension of an erotic scene when...
                        
                                                 MAID MARIANA
                                   THIS!
                        
                        WHACK...
                        
                                               LYCRA
                                   Ouch!
                                       (pause; bloody lip)
                                   You nasty cow!
                        
                        After a second punch, Lycra and Mariana fall to the floor
                        and grapple. Clawing at each others clothes, Mariana rips
                        open Lycra's dress, the shoulder exposed, and some of her
                        left breast.
                        
                                                                         TRACK OVER TO:
                        
                        Roger, furiously staring down at SCRIPT COPY.
                        
                                              ROGER
                                  This isn't supposed to happen until
                                  scene-
                        
                                              MAID MARIANA
                                  Destroy my career in flesh films
                                  would you, this is art...
                        
                        Mariana flashes her thigh, TATTOOS.
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  Let go of my hair!
                                              MARIANA
                                  My body is art. You want to ruin
                                  all that by introducing noir into my
                                  medieval romp-
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  This is art. Not that crap he writes,
                                  we had a chance to be spotted, move
                                  on from this sad excuse for a film,
                                  on location in soddin' Wales, in the
                                  soddin' rain...
                        
                        Both women lunge and scratch...
                        
                        Mariana getting the best of it, Lycra makes a run for the
                        stone steps and disappears, Mariana, furious, in pursuit...
                        
                        EXT. CASTLE COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS
                        
                        They spill out of the castle, and slip in the mud...
                        
                        Fighting, dresses ripped, hair wet, the crew appear up on
                        the battlements, Roger pushes through, grabs a hand-held
                        camera and begins filming, his face is beeming...
                        
                        BELOW
                        
                        The women inseparable...
                        
                                              MARIANA
                                  This is my art, fans have all my
                                  dvds, they write to me!
                        
                                             LYCRA
                                  Fans! They're not fans, they're
                                  dirty old-
                        
                        LIGHTS... the camera pans quickly ... as a GREAT CAR sweeps
                        into the yard. Both women stop fighting, the crew stare
                        down, and we're all focused on the...
                        
                        LIMOUSINE...
                        
                        Whose DOORS OPEN... a pair of shoes, a MAN'S FEET, Leather,
                        two-tone black and white.. moving along we see a women alight,
                        up we scan, TALL and DRESSED in a man's 1940s suit...
                        
                        Two OTHER MEN, similarly attired alight from the back of the
                        Limo. Fedora hats... the GROUP all join up...
                        
                        The MAIN MAN looks like a
                        
                        BIG TIME MOVIE DIRECTOR.
                        
                        Lycra's face, bruised and dazed, lights up, this is it,
                        they're here for her.
                        
                        She stands up, Mariana stays down in the mud, bemused, her
                        mouth open wide.
                        
                        Lycra staggers up to the movie director through the DRIVING
                        RAIN.
                        
                                              LYCRA (CONT'D)
                                  I've been waiting all my life.
                        
                                                 MOVIE DIRECTOR
                                  Yes, I know.
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  You've come for me?
                        
                                                 MOVIE DIRECTOR
                                  Of course.
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  I'm ready for my shot now.
                        
                                              MOVIE DIRECTOR
                                  We'll take it.
                        
                        Lycra is caught up in world of illusion and dreams, she's
                        somewhere else, somewhere poetic and surreal. Away from the
                        set of a taudry flesh flick.
                        
                                              LYCRA
                                  I've always wanted to say that line.
                        
                                                 MOVIE DIRECTOR
                                         (confused)
                                     I... understand...
                        
                        As she stares into the eyes of the director, the two men
                        behind move in closer to the woman when suddenly, they RIP
                        OFF her dress.
                        
                        Beneath, she's dressed like a disciple of Zena, Warrior
                        Princess, leather, suspenders, the whole garb...
                        
                        Lycra raises her hands to the sides of her head.  Mariana
                        begins to laugh. Lycra simpers and turns red...
                        
                        UP HIGH...
                        
                                                   ROGER
                                     And CUT...!    Perfection!!   Bravo
                                     darlings!!
                        
                        Lycra swings about and stares up...
                                                 LYCRA
                                     Roger, you basta----
                        
                                                                           SMASH TO PINK.
                        
                                                       THE END.
                        Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                        in Writing Exercises forum

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

                          Code:
                          DEAD OF NIGHT
                          
                          
                          FADE IN:
                          
                          EXT. LOST HIGHWAY MOTEL - NIGHT
                          
                          Torrential rain bounces off the ground.  Anybody with any
                          brains would be inside, huddled round a warm fire.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S CAR - NIGHT
                          
                          JOHNNY KRUGER sits in the dark, smoking.  He's around 30s,
                          handsome in a beat-up kind of way.  His eyes are fixed on
                          a particular motel room.  The light's on inside, curtains
                          are shut.
                          
                          The light goes out.  Johnny ditches his cigarette out the
                          window.  He picks up a camera with a big flashbulb.
                          
                          
                          EXT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny sneaks up to the door, camera in hand.
                          
                          A shadow moves up ahead.  Johnny freezes.  The shadow
                          resolves into a fat mustached man, DUKAYNE, carrying a
                          camera just like Johnny's.
                          
                          Dukayne and Johnny stare at each other for a stunned moment.
                          
                          Suddenly it's a mad race to the door.
                          
                          
                          INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
                          
                          Dukayne kicks the door open!  FLASH!
                          
                          A naked MAN and WOMAN caught in the act.  The Woman SCREAMS
                          and covers herself with sheets.  Naked Guy gets tangled in
                          the sheets, falls out of bed, pulls them off the Woman.
                          She squeals and grabs a pillow instead.
                          
                                                DUKAYNE
                                    Enjoy your night, folks!
                          
                          Dukayne leaps outside, shouldering Johnny out his way.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    Dukayne, you son of a bitch!
                          
                          Johnny takes his photo opportunity.  FLASH!
                          
                          Naked Guy comes up off the floor holding a HUGE REVOLVER.
                          Johnny's eyes widen!  He leaps for the door.
                          
                          BLAM!  The wood splinters inches from his head.  Johnny
                          runs outside as fast as his legs will carry him.
                          
                          
                          EXT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny runs to his car.
                          
                          Another car roars past, Dukayne at the wheel.  Dukayne
                          grins and flips Johnny an ironic salute.  Johnny swings a
                          kick at Dukayne's car but misses.
                          
                          
                          EXT. JOHNNY'S CAR - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny skids to a stop, wrenches the door open, throws the
                          camera inside, climbs behind the wheel.
                          
                          
                          EXT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
                          
                          Naked Guy's at the door, trying to see Johnny in the rain.
                          
                                                NAKED WOMAN (O.S.)
                                    Shoot him, Harvey!  Shoot him!
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S CAR - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny turns the key -- the damp engine COUGHS and RASPS.
                          
                          
                          EXT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
                          
                          Naked Guy grins.  He takes aim.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S CAR - NIGHT
                          
                          BLAM!  Glass shatters!  Johnny ducks!  The engine finally
                          starts!  He slams 'er into gear and stamps on the gas.
                          
                          
                          EXT. LOST HIGHWAY MOTEL - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny peels out of there and onto the road.  Naked Guy
                          takes aim again.  But the car lights disappear in the
                          curtain of rain.  Naked Guy lowers his revolver.
                          
                                                NAKED WOMAN (O.S.)
                                    Did ya get him, Harvey?  Did ya?
                          
                                                NAKED GUY
                                    Nah.  He got away.
                          
                          Naked Guy turns and discovers a BUSTY BLONDE in a flimsy
                          robe, watching him from next door.  She looks admiringly
                          at his crotch, and smiles.  Naked Guy grins.
                          
                                                NAKED WOMAN (O.S.)
                                    Harvey?  Harvey?
                          
                                                NAKED GUY
                                    Just coming!
                          
                          He shrugs at Busty Blonde and goes inside, closes the door.
                          
                          
                          EXT. CITY STREET - JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny's car pulls up outside a Gothic office building.
                          
                          
                          EXT. BUILDING ENTRANCE - NIGHT
                          
                          Tarnished business plates alongside intercom buttons:
                          
                          SILVER DOLLAR LOAN COMPANY
                          PHOENIX TALENT AGENCY
                          KRUGER PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS
                          
                          
                          INT. STAIRWAY - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny climbs upstairs with his camera.  MYRTLE an
                          attractive office girl skips downstairs, buttoning her
                          coat and carrying an umbrella.  She brightens when she
                          sees him.
                          
                                                MYRTLE
                                    Hi Johnny.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    Hey Myrtle.
                          
                                                MYRTLE
                                    Me and the girls are gonna go out
                                    to dinner, then catch a show.  You
                                    wanna tag along?
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    Thanks, I got some typing to do.
                                    Maybe next time.
                          
                                                MYRTLE
                                    Don't chip a nail.
                          
                          She goes downstairs.  Johnny watches her with interest.
                          
                          
                          INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
                          
                          Block letters on a frosted glass door panel:
                          
                          J. KRUGER
                          PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS
                          DISCREET - PERSONAL
                          
                          Footsteps on the stairway.  Johnny climbs into view, wet
                          and weary.
                          
                          
                          INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Where a secretary would sit, if Johnny could afford one.
                          An inner door leads to Johnny's private office.
                          
                          Johnny enters, turns on the light.  He takes off his hat
                          and throws it, it misses the hat stand by a mile.  He shrugs
                          off his coat, hangs it up.
                          
                          The secretary's phone and the phone in Johnny's office
                          both RING at the same time.  Johnny picks up his hat, hangs
                          it up.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Both phones continue to RING as Johnny opens a file cabinet,
                          takes out a bottle, pours himself a glass of whiskey.  He
                          sits down, takes a drink, and answers the phone.
                          
                                                JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
                                    Kruger Investigations.  You lost
                                    it, we'll find it.
                          
                          CLICK.  Dead line.  He stares at the receiver.  Hangs up.
                          Empties his glass.  Smacks his lips.
                          
                          
                          INT. PHONE BOOTH - NIGHT
                          
                          A big gloved hand hangs up the receiver.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny opens a desk drawer.  Inside, a revolver.  He cracks
                          the gun open, checks it's loaded, snaps it shut again.  He
                          places it in the open drawer, ready if he needs it.
                          
                          He picks up his phone and dials a number.
                          
                                                JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
                                    Hey Danny, it's me.  I got a little
                                    job for you.  I'll bring it over
                                    first thing in the morning.  Nothing
                                    fancy, just a couple of prints and
                                    the negative.  See you then.
                          
                          
                          INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Footsteps and a big shadow come up the stairway.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny pours himself another drink.
                          
                          
                          INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          The big shadow falls across the frosted glass panel with
                          Johnny's name.  A big gloved hand pushes the door open.
                          
                          
                          INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          The big shadow falls across the door to Johnny's office.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny swallows his drink.  He looks at the door.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    It's open.
                          
                          The door opens and the BIGGEST GUY we've ever seen fills
                          the doorway.  His face is chiseled from granite.  His eyes
                          take in the shabby office, then fix on Johnny.  Water drips
                          from his outsized raincoat, forming a puddle.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    Nice weather we're having, huh?
                                    What can I do for you?
                          
                          The Biggest Guy slips his hand inside his raincoat.  Johnny
                          snatches up his gun and LETS HIM HAVE IT.  Six sizzlers in
                          the chest!
                          
                          The Biggest Guy grimaces and clutches his blood-spattered
                          coat.  He staggers, groans, timbers back into the outer
                          office, leaving his feet in Johnny's office.
                          
                          Johnny cracks his smoking revolver open and reloads from a
                          box of bullets in the drawer.  When he's finished he ambles
                          over to the Biggest Guy.
                          
                          
                          INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny steps over the body and goes to the outer door.
                          
                          
                          INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny peers out into the hallway.  Empty.
                          
                          
                          INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny sits down on the edge of the secretary's desk, picks
                          up the phone, dials a number.
                          
                                                JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
                                    Sergeant Novello, please.  Mr.
                                    Johnny Kruger calling.  Sure I'll
                                    hold, but I got a dead man here in
                                    my office.
                          
                          Johnny looks down at the Biggest Guy, whose gloved hand is
                          halfway inside his coat and appears to be clutching... an
                          envelope?
                          
                          Johnny frowns.  He gingerly takes the envelope from the
                          dead man's hand, turns it over.  A single line of neat
                          writing:
                          
                          "Personal - Mr. J. Kruger."
                          
                          An ANGRY MALE VOICE buzzes from the receiver, Johnny
                          snatches it up.
                          
                                                JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
                                    Hey Tony, it's me.  So guess what?
                                    I'm looking at a three-hundred
                                    pound lump of muscle lying dead on
                                    my carpet.
                          
                          Johnny opens the envelope with one hand while the angry
                          voice buzzes in his ear.
                          
                                                JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
                                    Never saw him before.  He just
                                    walked in and drew his rod.  Well
                                    what do you think happened?  You
                                    think I'm gonna sit there and let
                                    some big ape shoot at me?
                          
                          Inside the envelope, a single sheet and a paper-clipped 50
                          dollar bill.  Johnny unfolds and reads the letter while
                          the angry voice buzzes in his ear.
                          
                                                JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
                                    Nah, he's not the jealous husband
                                    type.  Looks more like a
                                    professional fighter.  Heavyweight
                                    class.  Am I glad he didn't use me
                                    as a punchbag.
                          
                          More angry buzzing.
                          
                                                JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
                                    Sure, I'm not going anywhere.
                                    Thanks, Tony.  And wear a coat.
                                    It's coming down.
                          
                          Johnny hangs up and goes back into his office, stepping
                          over the body.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny pushes the filing cabinet over to one side to reveal
                          a damp patch of wall.  Buried in the wall, A BULLET in a
                          cracked hole.
                          
                          He takes a smaller .38 from the filing cabinet's top drawer
                          and cracks it open.  Five bullets.  Sixth chamber is empty.
                          
                          
                          INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny puts the .38 in the Biggest Guy's gloved hand,
                          closing the fingers around the butt.
                          
                          He searches the body and pulls out the Biggest Guy's wallet.
                          It contains a driver's license in the name of JOEY VREES,
                          and a wad of green.  Johnny takes 10 dollars, leaving the
                          other money in the wallet, and puts the wallet back.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    That's for the bullets, you dumb
                                    schmuck.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny sits down, pours himself another drink, throws it
                          back.  He sighs.  He picks up the letter and reads it again.
                          (We'll meet LILY soon, she sounds young and attractive.)
                          
                                                LILY (V.O.)
                                    Dear Mr. Kruger.  You were
                                    recommended to me by a friend.
                                    Desperate circumstances force me
                                    to seek your advice in a matter of
                                    some delicacy.  The bearer of this
                                    letter, Mr. Vrees, will bring you
                                    to me if you are willing to accept
                                    my employ.  If not, I trust that
                                    the enclosed fifty dollar retainer
                                    will purchase your silence.
                                    Sincerely, Miss Lily Chapel.
                          
                          Johnny holds the 50 dollar bill up to the light.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    I'm very pleased to meet you, Miss
                                    Chapel.
                          
                          
                          EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
                          
                          Still pouring o' rain.  A squad car pulls up behind Johnny's
                          car.
                          
                          
                          INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Three pairs of shoes pound up the stairway.
                          
                          
                          INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          SERGEANT TONY NOVELLO, 35, a weary plainclothes 'tec, enters
                          followed by TWO UNIFORM COPS.  They study the Biggest Guy's
                          corpse with interest.  Novello steps into Johnny's office,
                          noting the .38 in the Biggest Guy's hand.
                          
                          
                          INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
                          
                          Johnny salutes Novello with his glass.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    Join me in a toast, Sarge?
                          
                                                NOVELLO
                                    Knock it off, ace.  Who is he?
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    Driver's licence says Joey Vrees.
                          
                                                NOVELLO
                                    What's he to you?
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    I told you, I never saw him before.
                          
                          Novello picks up the almost empty whiskey bottle.
                          
                                                NOVELLO
                                    Been hitting it pretty hard, ace.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    It isn't every night I kill a man.
                          
                          Novello notices the bullet hole in the wall.
                          
                                                NOVELLO
                                    Guess he shouldn't have tried to
                                    plug you.  Couple inches to the
                                    left, he would've blown your brains
                                    out.
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    Lucky for me, huh?
                          
                          Cop #1 brings the Biggest Guy's .38 and wallet to Novello,
                          who opens the wallet and reads the Driver's Licence.
                          
                                                NOVELLO
                                    Joey Vrees.  Got a feeling I should
                                    know that name.
                          
                          He counts the money in the wallet.
                          
                                                NOVELLO
                                    Over seventy bucks here.  Wonder
                                    what Mr. Vrees did for a living?
                          
                                                JOHNNY
                                    You know, if some of that dough
                                    was to find its way into the Police
                                    Benevolent Fund, I wouldn't say
                                    anything.  What with the swell job
                                    you guys do.
                          
                          [end scriptment]
                          Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                          in Writing Exercises forum

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

                            Code:
                            THE WAGES OF SIN
                            
                            
                            OVER BLACK
                            
                            Sound of a shovel digging.
                            
                            SHKKKT.
                            
                            SHKKKT.
                            
                            A SHUNK! as the shovel stabs into the ground.
                            
                                                     FEMALE VOICE
                                         Deeper.
                            
                                                     MALE VOICE
                                         It's deep enough.
                            
                                                     FEMALE VOICE
                                         It needs to be deeper.
                            
                            Long silence.
                            
                            Then
                            
                            SHKKKT.
                            
                            SHKKKT.
                            
                            INT. DENNY'S - NIGHT
                            
                            They sit in a large booth in the back of the restaurant:
                            
                            TROY, 30s, taps a finger on a pack of cigarettes. He's got
                            an Elvis pompadour with the porkchop sideburns, and the
                            twinkling eyes of a psychotic.
                            
                            OTTO, 20s, is a big guy with a heavy-lidded gaze that he
                            thinks makes him look cool, but just makes him look like the
                            moron he really is.
                            
                            Between them is EMMY, 20s. She's a loud noise away from a
                            nervous breakdown, but still pretty. She bottle feeds SAM,
                            her one year old who rests in the crook of her arm.
                            
                            They're all looking at the guy across from them: RONAN,
                            20s. He's semi-good looking; maybe a little too gaunt to be
                            considered handsome.
                            
                                                     RONAN
                                         You sure it's there?
                            
                                                     TROY
                                         If I wasn't, I wouldn't be talking
                                         to you.
                            
                                                  RONAN
                                      Why wouldn't he keep it in a bank?
                            
                                                  TROY
                                      'Cause he's f**king stupid, I don't
                                      know. If you don't wanna do this,
                                      let me know so I can find somebody
                                      else with some balls.
                            
                                                  RONAN
                                      Nobody gets hurt.
                            
                                                   TROY
                                      You worried about killing somebody,
                                      soldier boy?
                            
                                                  OTTO
                                      Maybe he's got that stress s**t.
                            
                                                    TROY
                                      Is that it?    You got PTSD, soldier
                                      boy?
                            
                                                  OTTO
                                          (confused)
                                      I thought that was something to do
                                      with a woman's period?
                            
                            Ronan returns Troy's crazy grin with a dead-eyed stare.
                            
                            Sam BURPS and spits up.
                            
                            Emmy wipes it.
                            
                                                  TROY
                                      That's f**king disgusting.
                                          (to Ronan)
                                      I'm not dicking with you all night,
                                      soldier boy. What's your answer?
                            
                                                    RONAN
                                      I'm in.
                            
                            Sam's BURP seals it.
                            
                            INT. MOTEL - NIGHT
                            
                            Ronan sits on the bed, cleaning a GUN on a tv tray table in
                            front of him.
                            
                            Light KNOCK on the door.
                            
                            Ronan covers the pieces of the gun with a dish towel, sets
                            the tv tray table aside. Answers the door.
                            
                            Emmy walks in with a sleeping Sam still in the car seat.
                            
                            She puts the car seat down.  Long look at Ronan.
                            
                            Then
                            
                            They kiss and grab at each other and they tear at their
                            clothes and they crash onto the bed and they make love as if
                            the world was going to end tomorrow.
                            
                            LATER
                            
                            In the dark, they lie tangled in the sheets.  Headlights and
                            shadows play across the small room.
                            
                                                  EMMY
                                      We've got to get back.
                            
                            She gets out of bed, gets dressed.
                            
                            Ronan looks at Sam, still sleeping peacefully in the car
                            seat on the floor.
                            
                                                  RONAN
                                      I wonder what he's thinking?
                            
                                                  EMMY
                                      He's thinking that we're going to be
                                      so happy together.
                            
                            She leans across the bed, kisses him.
                            
                            A smile as she picks up Sam and exits, shuts the door softly
                            behind her.
                            
                            Ronan ponders for a moment, gets out of bed, grabs the tv
                            tray.
                            
                            Sits back down, turns the bedside light on, and removes the
                            dish towel covering the disassembled gun.
                            
                            He cleans it long into the night.
                            
                            INT./EXT. CAR - PUSSYCAT LOUNGE PARKING LOT - NIGHT
                            
                            They sit in the car in the back of the parking lot.
                            
                            Emmy's at the wheel, Troy next to her. In the back, Ronan's
                            wiggling Sam's toes, making the baby giggle.
                            
                            Troy gives Emmy a hateful stare.
                            
                                                   EMMY
                                      Hayley was busy, and I couldn't find
                                      anyone else.
                            
                            Troy GRUNTS, DRUMS his fingers on the door armrest.
                            
                                                      RONAN
                                      You nervous?
                            
                            DRUMMING stops.
                            
                            Troy turns around with that crazy grin.
                            
                                                      TROY
                                      Never.   You?
                            
                                                      RONAN
                                      Steel.
                            
                            Long, grinning look from Troy.
                            
                                                  TROY
                                      Is that a hickey on your neck?
                            
                            Ronan fingers his neck, rubs across the raised bruise.
                            
                            He catches a glimpse of Emmy's frightened eyes in the rearview
                            mirror.
                            
                                                  RONAN
                                      Mosquito bite.
                            
                                                  TROY
                                      Try bug spray next time.
                            
                            Staring contest.
                            
                            Cell phone on the dash BUZZES.
                            
                            Troy picks it up, reads the text message.
                            
                                                  TROY (CONT'D)
                                      We're on, soldier boy.
                            
                            Troy and Ronan get out of the car.  They have guns.
                            
                            Quick looks around, guns are placed in pockets and tucked
                            into the waist of their pants.
                            
                            Troy leans back in.
                            
                                                   TROY (CONT'D)
                                          (to Emmy)
                                      Ten minutes.
                                          (indicates Sam)
                                      And I don't want to hear him crying
                                      when the shooting starts.
                            
                            Troy and Ronan head towards the entrance to the *****cat
                            Lounge while Emmy watches them, her lips moving in silent
                            prayer.
                            
                            INT. PUSSYCAT LOUNGE
                            
                            Ronan walks in, past the BURLY BOUNCER, 30s, sitting on a
                            bar stool by the front.
                            
                            Ronan leans against the far end of the four seat bar.
                            Immediately, a petite blonde sidles up to him. She was
                            beautiful about four blackouts and a coke habit ago.
                            
                                                  NINA
                                      Hey, handsome. Wanna buy a working
                                      girl a drink?
                            
                                                  RONAN
                                          (without looking at
                                           her)
                                      F**k off.
                            
                            She starts to say something, but there's something about
                            him...
                            
                            She struts off.  Heads to Burly Bouncer.
                            
                            Ronan slow pans the titty bar:
                            
                            It's a tiny place, dank and dark. Four DRUNKS sitting at
                            the runway; a tired, BRUNETTE, 30s, on stage, the red lights
                            not quite camouflaging the Caesarean scar. Static-spotted
                            music squeaks out of speakers.
                            
                            Otto stands thirty feet from Ronan on his right, by an 'Exit'
                            door. He's chatting with a TOPLESS BLONDE, 30s.
                            
                            A skinnny guy dressed business casual comes out of the back,
                            glad-hands one of the Drunks at the runway. His fake LAUGHTER
                            drowns out the music. This is MR. BROWNSTONE, 50s.
                            
                            Ronan stands straighter.
                            
                            Burly Bouncer looks put upon as Nina angrily points in Ronan's
                            direction. He seems to sigh as he stands up
                            
                            Just as Troy enters.
                            
                            And Troy sees everything.
                            
                            Quickly now:
                            
                            Troy sucker punches Burly Bouncer, and he goes down as
                            
                            Ronan pulls out his gun, and
                            
                            Otto pushes Topless Blonde away, draws his own gun, when
                            
                            Nina SCREAMS, tries to run, but Troy grabs her by her hair
                            pulls him to her, puts the gun to her head.
                            
                                                   TROY
                                      Hush.
                            
                            Nina snaps her mouth shut.
                            
                                                  TROY (CONT'D)
                                          (to Mr. Brownstone)
                                      I need you to open your safe, or I
                                      shoot her.
                            
                                                  MR. BROWNSTONE
                                      Look, I don't know what you're talking--
                            
                            POP!
                            
                            Troy shoots Nina in the head, she drops to the floor.
                            
                            A Drunk makes a dash for the Exit, Otta clocks him with his
                            gun THUNNK!
                            
                            Troy walks up to Mr. Brownstone, the gun leveled at him.
                            
                                                  TROY
                                      Maybe you know what I'm talking about
                                      now.
                            
                            Mr. Brownstone can barely speak, he's staring at Nina's body.
                            
                            On stage, Brunette is on her knees, softly sobbing.
                            
                                                  MR. BROWNSTONE
                                      I...I...Please--
                            
                            Troy puts the gun to Mr. Brownstone's head.
                            
                                                  MR. BROWNSTONE (CONT'D)
                                      Behind the bar.
                            
                            Troy grabs Mr. Brownstone, hustles him behind the bar.
                            
                            Ronan catches Troy's eye.
                            
                                                   RONAN
                                      You said--
                            
                                                   TROY
                                      I lied.
                            
                            He pushes Mr. Brownstone down onto the floor.
                            
                            Mr. Brownstone crawls over to a small curtained area
                            underneath the register.
                            
                            Pulls the curtain back to reveal a small safe.  Trembling,
                            he turns the dial of the safe.
                            
                                                     OTTO
                                      Is it there?
                            
                            Ronan stares hard at Troy.
                            
                                                  TROY
                                      Got a problem, soldier-boy?
                            
                            Troy turns slightly towards Ronan, just as Mr. Brownstone
                            opens up the safe...
                            
                                                     RONAN
                                      Yeah, I do.
                            
                            Both bring their weapons 'round...
                            
                            Mr. Brownstone reaches into the safe...
                            
                            Otta turns his attention to them...
                            
                            And Mr. Brownstone pulls out a gun and starts FIRING!
                            
                            A shot hits Troy and he drops his gun and goes down as
                            
                            Ronan puts a bullet into Mr. Brownstone's head, and
                            
                            Otto is tackled by two of the Drunks.
                            
                            Ronan leaps over the bar to the safe, kicks the body of Mr.
                            Brownstone out of the way. He grabs a small trash can.
                            
                            He reaches into the safe, starts pulling out money, putting
                            it into the trash can. Glances at Troy.
                            
                            Blood blossoms across Troy's shirt.
                            
                            Troy grins at Ronan.  COUGHS blood.
                            
                                                  TROY
                                      You'll never be happy.
                            
                            Anger flits across Ronan's face.  He SHOOTS Troy.
                            
                            Finishes filling the trash can full of money.
                            
                            Leaps back over the bar.  Takes a glance at Otto, sees
                            
                            The Brunette pick up Otto's gun, put it to Otto's head, and
                            
                            Ronan steps over Burly Bouncer's prone body and out as a
                            BLAM! echoes behind him.
                            
                            EXT. PUSSYCAT LOUNGE
                            
                            Ronan, trash can in hand, spots the car.
                            
                            A slight smile as he reaches a hand out for the door.
                            
                            BLAM!
                            
                            Ronan falls against the car, the trash can full of money
                            splashes all over the parking lot.
                            
                            He reaches for the door handle of the rear passenger door.
                            
                            The Brunette stands at the entrance FIRING the gun and
                            SCREAMING.
                            
                            Windows SHATTER!  Bullets PUNCH into the car.
                            
                            Ronan returns fire as he gets into the back of the car.  The
                            Brunette goes down.
                            
                            INT./EXT CAR
                            
                            He checks his side:  he's been hit.  Blood smears onto the
                            seat.
                            
                                                    EMMY
                                      You okay?
                            
                            Ronan starts to answer.  Stares at Sam.
                            
                            Emmy takes a quick glance behind her.
                            
                                                  EMMY (CONT'D)
                                      Are you shot?
                            
                            Ronan reaches towards Sam's car seat.  Pulls a hand away
                            covered in blood.
                            
                                                    EMMY (CONT'D)
                                      Baby?  Talk to me, baby!
                            
                            The car SCREECHES away into the night.
                            
                            EXT. FIELD - NIGHT
                            
                            Car headlights shine on Ronan, shovel in hand.  He's in a
                            small hole up to his knees.
                            
                                                  RONAN
                                      Give him to me.
                            
                            He looks at her.
                            
                            No life in her eyes. She holds a bundle swathed in a bloody
                            blanket in the crook of her arm.
                            
                            He notices the gun in her hand, held loosely at her side.
                            
                            Blood pumps through his shirt.
                            
                                                  EMMY
                                      It needs to be deeper.   And wider.
                            
                            He leans on the shovel, suddenly very tired.
                            
                            And continues digging.
                            
                            SHKKKT.
                            SHKKKT.
                            
                            CUT TO BLACK.
                            
                                                     END
                            Last edited by dpaterso; 04-28-2013, 02:54 AM.
                            Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                            in Writing Exercises forum

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

                              Code:
                              UNTITLED
                              
                              
                              OVER BLACK
                              
                              RINGING of a cell phone.
                              
                              After the fourth ring, it stops.
                              
                              Beat.
                              
                              RINGING of a cell phone.
                              
                                                          SEAN
                                               (softly)
                                           S**t.
                              
                              SOUNDS of fumbling on a nightstand.  CRASH.  Something was
                              knocked over.
                              
                              On the fourth ring, light from the flip phone as it's
                              answered. Can't make out much, just a strong jaw.
                              
                                                       SEAN (CONT'D)
                                           You better hope you know me.
                              
                                                       RICO (O.S.)
                                           Sean? This is Rico from
                                           Maximillian's. Terry told me to
                                           call you.
                              
                                                          SEAN
                                           Who?
                              
                                                         RICO (O.S.)
                                           Terry.    He said--
                              
                                                         SEAN
                                           No.    Who the f**k are you?
                              
                                                       RICO (O.S.)
                                           Rico. You know? From Maximillian's?
                                           Over on Pine. Mr. Dixon sometimes
                                           comes in he--
                              
                                                       SEAN
                                           Rico, I'm going to kick your ass
                                           next time I see you for waking me up
                                           at...where's my f**king clock?
                              
                                                       RICO (O.S.)
                                           Listen. Mr. Dixon's wife is down
                                           here, and she's...I think you better
                                           come get her.
                              
                              Dim outline of SEAN THORNTON, now sitting upright in his
                              bed, feet on the floor, his back to us.
                              
                                                      SEAN
                                          Mr. Dixon's wife.
                              
                                                          RICO (O.S.)
                                          Yeah.  Look.  She's...with someone.
                                          Else.
                              
                              Sean takes the phone away from his face, holds it in his lap
                              as he looks away.
                              
                                                       RICO (O.S.) (CONT'D)
                                          Sean?   Hello?
                              
                                                      SEAN
                                              (back into the phone)
                                          You close the place now. I'll be
                                          there in half an hour. Do not let
                                          her leave.
                              
                                                      RICO (O.S.)
                                          Oh, man, I hope Mr. Xa--
                              
                              Sean flips the phone shut.
                              
                              Darkness.
                              
                              The bedside light's flicked on.
                              
                              First good look at Sean: In his 40s, heavily-muscled in the
                              shoulders, back, and arms, like a boxer.
                              
                              Still sitting on the bed, Sean bends down, picks up his clock.
                              Sets it back on the nightstand. 2:23am.
                              
                                                          SEAN
                                              (softly)
                                          S**t.
                              
                              EXT. MAXIMILLIAN'S - NIGHT
                              
                              Sean looks through the plate glass window into the
                              restaurant/bar. MUSIC thumps from inside. FOUR PEOPLE in
                              the dimly-lit bar:
                              
                              - RICO, 40s, a gaunt, rat-faced man standing behind the bar.
                              A leering grin on his face as he watches
                              
                              - JOAN DIXON, 20s, a voluptuous blonde, dancing on a table.
                              Based on her excessive gesturing, she's clearly having a
                              good time, and clearly drunk; dancing to her companion,
                              
                              - REGGIE, 30s, a big, black man--football player big--who
                              grabs at Joan's ass and **** as she gyrates in front of him.
                              
                              Sean spots the fourth person coming to the door to let him
                              in: TERRY, 60s. A slight man with a glaring stare at
                              everyone and anyone.
                              
                              Terry pokes his head through the open door, MUSIC no longer
                              muffled.
                              
                                                    TERRY
                                        'Bout f**kin' time.
                              
                              Sean steps into
                              
                              INT. MAXIMILLIAN'S
                              
                              And Terry closes and locks the door behind them.
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        Who's the black guy?
                              
                                                    TERRY
                                        Not sure, but they came in about an
                                        hour ago. I could've taken care of
                                        him myself, but that would've involved
                                        cops.
                              
                              Sean pulls out a hundred.  Hands it to Terry.
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        No, you did the right thing.  Kill
                                        the music.
                              
                              Terry pockets the money, goes back behind the bar.
                              
                              Sean waits as Terry motions to Rico to cut the music.  Rico
                              appears disappointed, but does as he's told.
                              
                              The MUSIC abruptly cuts off.
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        '...in Jackson, and I'll be dancin'
                                        on a Pony Keg', HEY! What the hell
                                        happened to the music?
                              
                              Reggie turns towards the bar.
                              
                                                    REGGIE
                                        Yo, d**kless! You heard the lady...
                              
                              Terry glares at Reggie while Rico inspects the tips of his
                              shoes.
                              
                              Reggie notices Sean.  Glances at Terry and Rico.
                              
                                                     REGGIE (CONT'D)
                                        Backup, huh?
                                            (to Sean)
                                        Who the f**k are you?
                              
                              Sean approaches Reggie.
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        Party's over. I can call you a cab,
                                        if you'd like, but Mrs. Dixon is
                                        coming with me.
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        The party's over?
                              
                                                    REGGIE
                                        Nah, baby. The party's just gettin'
                                        started. Excuse me a minute while I
                                        take care of this.
                              
                              Reggie moves forward to meet Sean.  He's at least a head
                              taller than Sean.
                              
                              Sean never slows.
                              
                                                    REGGIE (CONT'D)
                                        Do you know who I am? I'm--
                              
                              Sean PUNCHES straight out with his right, catches Reggie in
                              the sternum. The big man staggers back, Sean never slows.
                              
                              With a roundhouse left, Sean SMASHES Reggie across the right
                              temple. The big man goes down.
                              
                              Sean steps over Reggie's unconscious body, to Joan's table.
                              
                                                     JOAN
                                        Wow.  Is he dead?
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        I'm here to take you home, Mrs. Dixon.
                              
                              Sean holds his hand up to help Joan down as she teeters onto
                              a chair then onto the floor.
                              
                                                     JOAN
                                             (pouts)
                                        I don't wanna go home.
                                             (brightens)
                                        How 'bout I go home with you? I'll
                                        give you the best f**k you've ever
                                        had.
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        I jerked off earlier, thanks.
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        Oh, that's right.
                                            (with contempt)
                                        You're loyal. A regular Kid Galahad.
                              
                              Sean grabs Joan by the elbow as they exit.
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                            (to Terry)
                                        Call the cops or a cab for Denzel.
                                        Up to you. I don't want to hear
                                        anything about Mrs. Dixon from anyone.
                                            (pointedly to Rico)
                                        You understand?
                              
                              Rico's sullen expression morphs into a "who me?" smile.
                              
                                                    TERRY
                                        Thanks, Sean.
                              
                              Sean nods acknowledgment, and he and Joan exit.
                              
                              INT. BMW - NIGHT
                              
                              Joan sits in the passenger side, the seatbelt emphasizing
                              her breasts as it cuts across her chest. She's very drunk
                              and very tired.
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        You know I've f**ked just about
                                        everyone in Tom's organization?
                                        Except for Xavier.
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        I'm sure you did your best.
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        He must be gay. Are you gay?
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        Not that I'm aware of.
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        Then why won't you f**k me?
                              
                                                       SEAN
                                        Mrs. Dixon--
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        Don't you find me attractive?
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        In a snake hypnotizing a bird kinda
                                        way, yeah.
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        These are real, you know.
                              
                              She grabs Sean's hand from the steering wheel, places it on
                              her breast.
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        Very nice.
                                            (removes his hand)
                                        But you're married to my boss.
                              
                              She smiles, leans up against him.
                              
                                                    JOAN
                                        What if something happened to him?
                              
                                                      SEAN
                                        No, thanks.  I've seen that movie.
                              
                              Joan leans away from him, regards him for a long moment.
                              Then
                              
                              She SLAPS at him, both hands hitting him.
                              
                              Sean steers with one arm, uses his other arm to ward off the
                              ineffectual blows.
                              
                                                    SEAN (CONT'D)
                                        Mrs. Dixon...
                              
                              She keeps flailing away, oddly quiet, and manages to scratch
                              Sean's cheek. He curses in surprise, and instinctively
                              BACKHANDS her in the face.
                              
                              She passes out, slumps in the seat.
                              
                                                      SEAN (CONT'D)
                                        S**t!
                              
                              Sean pulls the car over.
                              
                              Hits the overhead light.
                              
                              Joan snores softly, a trickle of blood on the side of her
                              now swelling mouth.
                              
                                                      SEAN (CONT'D)
                                        S**T!
                              
                              He squeezes the steering wheel with both hands, the knuckles
                              turning white. Glances at Joan, ponders the situation.
                              
                              Relaxes his hands on the steering wheel. Puts the car into
                              gear, turns out the overhead light, pulls back onto the road.
                              
                                                       SEAN (CONT'D)
                                            (softly)
                                        S**t.
                              
                              INT. SEAN'S APARTMENT
                              
                              The front door opens, and Sean carries Joan in his arms across
                              the threshold. Kicks the door shut, puts his keys on a hook
                              near the door, sets her purse on the floor.
                              
                              He carries her to the
                              
                              BEDROOM
                              
                              Gently puts her on the bed. Takes her shoes off.  She mutters
                              under her breath, rolls onto her side.
                              
                              Sean grabs a quilt from the closet.  He takes in her body
                              stretched out on the bed.
                              
                                                    SEAN
                                        A shame you're such a bitch.
                              
                              He places the quilt on top of her.  She snores silently.
                              
                              Beat.
                              
                              He peels back the top of the quilt.  Takes a quick peek at
                              her body again.
                              
                              Covers her back up.   Heads out of the bedroom, into
                              
                              LIVING ROOM
                              
                              Kicks his shoes off, lies down fully clothed on the too small
                              sofa. Stares at the ceiling in the darkness.
                              
                              LIVING ROOM - MORNING
                              
                              Still staring at the ceiling, he blinks at the sun coming
                              through the blinds.
                              
                              Sits up, moves into
                              
                              BEDROOM
                              
                              Where Joan still sleeps off the drunk.
                              
                              He approaches and turns her head to check her jaw.  A small
                              bruise, but not too bad.
                              
                              Joan mumbles something unintelligible, rolls away from him.
                              
                              [end scriptment]
                              Last edited by dpaterso; 04-28-2013, 03:14 AM.
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