Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

    Slightly later than intended, here are the results for the April 2013 Noir theme short script contest:
    Code:
    Title            1st 2nd 3rd V Total
    The Dark Fairy                   0
    Judas                 2   1  1   8
    Dark Eyes         1       1  1   7
    Red and White     1   1   1      6
    The Ends              1   1      3
    Infantale             2   2  1   9
    The Art Heist         1   2      4
    The Shooter       4   1         14
    We See                1      1   5
    Western Noir              1  1   4
    Medieval Noir     1          1   6
    Dead of Night             3      3
    The Wages of Sin  1   1   1  1   9
    Untitled          2   1      1  11
    Jack              1   1   1  1   9
    Obsessed          2          1   9
    Tech Noir         1   2      1  10
    1st place vote = 3 points, 2nd = 2 points, 3rd = 1 point.

    Special voting rule invoked: contestants who voted are awarded 3 bonus points.*

    And the authors were:

    The Dark Fairy - Samuel Clark
    Judas - karlosd
    Dark Eyes - kenklmn
    Red and White - polfilmblog
    The Ends - Southern_land
    Infantale - Mr. Earth
    The Art Heist - ctp
    The Shooter - dpaterso
    We See - umo
    Western Noir - Road Warrior
    Medieval Noir - Road Warrior
    Dead of Night - dpaterso
    The Wages of Sin - Rich Weems
    Untitled - Rich Weems
    Jack - Centos
    Obsessed - Anagram
    Tech Noir - Anonymous DD member

    Congrats to... well, this is kinda embarrassing 'cause some folks seem to have thought The Shooter had appeal, and voted for it. Alas that one was mine.

    Congrats most certainly go to the 2nd and 3rd place winners, Rich Weems for Untitled and The DD Member With No Name (who wishes to remain anonymous) for Tech Noir. Cue cheers and fireworks.

    Thanks to everyone for participating, and special thanks to StoryWriter, yesac and LMPurves for taking time to read and vote.

    And congrats to contestants for writing to theme and deadline, which is what these contests are all about, kinda, besides the fun aspect.

    I'll be posting the comments I scribbled for each entry in this thread later, after the post-results discussion. Everyone's invited to do likewise.

    As always, if you spot any errors, shout!

    * Some contestants couldn't vote due to real life, genuine hardware problems, etc. Apologies were sent. To balance the fact these contestants may have received votes, but didn't give votes to other contestants, the special voting rule kicks in, in the interests of fair play.

    ETA: for posterity's sake, the entries thread is here.
    Last edited by dpaterso; 05-13-2013, 01:50 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

    Congratulations to the winners.




    nb, you see Centos, 9 votes for you sir, including a 1st ... Nine!!!
    Forthcoming: The Annual, "I JUST GOT DUMPED" Valentine's Short Screenplay Writing Competition. Keep an eye on Writing Exercises.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

      Congrats, dpaterso!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

        Congratulations Derek!

        My first place vote was for Richmond for Untitled. I'll post some of my impressions soon.

        Thanks to dpaterso and Road Warrior for putting this together.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

          First of all, congrats to everyone who entered. Extra congrats to those who finished in the top 3. And extra extra congrats to Dpaterso for "The Shooter" as it was an absolute hoot and gained my vote for being the best. You could argue that the source material lent a siezeable hand to the piece but still, you thought of it and created 8 fresh, never-seen-before pages.

          In fact, you deserve a round of applause just for this line alone: the band starts up again. Aww, crap.
          M.A.G.A.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

            Congrats, dpaterso, Richmond Weems, and [fill in your name]!

            I'll need to check, but I think I voted The Shooter first although I considered disqualifying it due to copyright infringement.

            Also, thanks people who didn't write, but took the time to read all these entries and vote.

            I'll post my notes soon.
            On Twitter @DeadManSkipping

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

              Hey, dpaterso, didn't you vote?
              On Twitter @DeadManSkipping

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

                My votes were
                1. Red & White
                2. Dark Eyes.
                3. Judas.

                All close. Very nicely written.

                Friggin' Dpat, bet he was grinning and chuckling malevolently as those votes came in.
                Forthcoming: The Annual, "I JUST GOT DUMPED" Valentine's Short Screenplay Writing Competition. Keep an eye on Writing Exercises.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

                  Originally posted by Mr. Earth View Post
                  Hey, dpaterso, didn't you vote?
                  I think he did, but he didn't want to blow us away too badly.

                  Congratulations Mr. Derek, sir. I voted for two of the top three but, uh ... not yours (it was in my top 5). I liked the comedy (except for the "ick" factor) -- but I thought the ending was kind of abrupt and ... well ... pointless. (Shows what I know.)

                  I was surprised Dark Fairy got no votes. I think it suffered from being totally "non-noirish," although it was definitely dark -- probably a little too dark for my taste. But, aside from being a little too poetic, it was pretty well written.

                  At any rate, congratulations to the top three. My votes (for what it's worth) were ...

                  First -- Tech Noir
                  Second -- Untitled
                  Third -- Dead of Night
                  STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

                    Well, damn. This is my second time into these exercises and both times I've gone into the "judging" phase with a framework in mind about the criteria that I'll use and then both times, WHAM, right of the gate, the first entry challenges my entire notion of that framework.

                    My problem, is I'm not sure The Dark Fairy even qualifies for "Film Noir," but then I wonder "What the heck is noir anyway?" I have an idea of what I think it is, but it's definitely not anything concrete. And then I wonder should I really deduct points in my imaginary point system for something that doesn't fit my definition of the category? What if it's well-written otherwise? What if it actually is "noir" and I'm too stupid to get it?

                    So, I guess the best way to do this is to pretend I'm a producer that asks some writers to come back with their best noir and I'll make it into a movie. In that scenario, a script that goes away from the definition would get severely handicapped, or at least better really shine in other areas to get a good score from me. I also heavily weigh things in favor of originality even above writing ability...although there's always some limit to the amount of errors I'll tolerate.

                    As for how I do "notes," these are things that I think of on the fly as I'm reading. They may or may not be "BIG ISSUES," but for the most part, they probably are not. For instance, I mention the line "Smacked off her t*ts" in the Tech Noir submission, but obviously it didn't affect things too much since I gave it a 2nd place vote.

                    Since there were so many submissions and because I didn't think much separated the top, here are my top 8:

                    1st The Shooter
                    2nd Tech Noir
                    3rd Art Heist
                    4th Jack
                    5th Wages of Sin
                    6th We See and Untitled
                    8th Judas

                    The Dark Fairy
                    • In the beginning, it was a little unclear who was leaving the room, what they were doing, where Eva was in space, etc. Just a little disorienting.
                    • Never heard the term "bedsit" before.
                    • Seems kind of odd that Skinny Girl doesn't have a name
                    • I usually like when a story asks the reader/viewer to use their brain and figure out what happened, but I feel this one left a little too much out there to guess.
                    • This all seems like stuff I've seen many times before (the bath tub suicide, the whispers, the child in the bedroom, etc., etc.)
                    • Well-written mechanically, but the story just didn't really grab me all that much and I don't think it's noir.
                    Judas
                    • I had to re-read the scene headings and action/description multiple times to try and figure out the logistics of what was going on. I'm still not sure I have it straight. Where are we? Are characters disappearing?
                    • I get that V.O. has become a pretty common staple in noir, but it seems to be overdone quite a bit here. Would still be more effective to show and not tell in many places and I'm not sure the described action could carry the V.O. all the time.
                    • The story and twist are effective.
                    • It's not entirely clear that Floyd is under arrest or being interrogated or what exactly is happening to him. For a second, I thought he was with the cops. It seems like Mickey's arrest should have happened on screen, but maybe there wasn't room.
                    Dark Eyes
                    • Ha ha. I liked where this was going. It definitely had that cool noir feel. Too bad it was so short.
                    • Good writing.
                    Red and White
                    • Technically speaking, we probably need to know who the first VO is, but I don't really deduct points for technicalities
                    • "indicates something"? What the heck does she indicate?
                    • Well, hmmmm, not at all original, but satirical and written well enough to nearly squeak by.
                    • There seems to be something crucial missing in Elsie that brings this down. I think one of the keys to noir is that the femme fatale is always appearing to be on the up and up until she drops the bomb. There can be hints, but Elsie is pretty obvious in her deception (at least to the audience) from the get go.
                    The Ends
                    • This sample is well-written and has interesting elements, but it is so text heavy and gets into so much gobbledy-gook that it's very difficult to stay focused.
                    • Pharmo, nanites, and phreq-ing, oh my!
                    • For some reason, when you've got all this scientific mumbo jumbo going on, misspellings and typos are more annoying. It's kind of like, I don't always know what you're talking about, so I better be able to trust you. Then I see something like "manikin" and I start thinking that neither of us know what's going on.
                    • I get a general sense of too many words. Too many in the description and too many in the dialogue.
                    • I really don't think this qualifies as noir.
                    Infatale
                    My submission

                    The Art Heist
                    • F'ing wrylies. Is this a joke?
                    • I got distracted and started imagining the wrylies as dialogue instead of the actual dialogue.
                    • Two guys are dancing together?
                    • I like this and the twist is pretty good without feeling like it's trying too hard.
                    • The part that seems to be missing is the reason a guy would risk this with the person that could identify him. I get that he needs her opinion, but he already got that opinion because he stole the painting from her. So, it was all just a plot device to get her into his place.
                    The Shooter
                    • Ha. Well, I liked this a lot. It's a bit of a cheat since the writer doesn't have to waste time setting up the scene/back story, characters, etc., but it's still interesting.
                    • My favorite line was about Marv's non-reaction.
                    • It seems like the ending could have been something else to qualify as "noir," but I'm not sure what that would be.
                    • I liked that this writer showed that you can write noir without all the typical tropes like trench coats, fedoras, V.O., etc.
                    • If this doesn't end up in my top three, I feel that it deserves some kind of honorable mention. I am only deducting imaginary points because of it cutting corners on the set up by being a derivative.
                    We See
                    • Extra "points" for sticking to the theme of noir.
                    • Well-written. Doesn't get bogged down.
                    • I'm not exactly sure what is going on. She obviously wants a script deal, but outside of her saying it on the phone, it's not entirely clear that The Man has agreed to that, especially after he was released.
                    • I didn't really understand the significance to her being blind except to add a twist to the story, but I couldn't figure out how that actually played into what was happening or why it was important other than to play on the whole "We see..." thing.
                    • For the record, I agree with not using "we see" most of the time because it always makes me want to say "Who's this 'we' you're talking about? How do you know what 'I' see" when I'm reading it. Of course, I say that knowing full well that I have a "we see" in my noir submission, so....
                    Western Noir
                    • Was WILLY introduced? Is he Black Suit or did I miss it?
                    • Was this a solid noir plot ruined by improbability?
                    • Not sure how to grade this.
                    • I'm not sure it actually "qualifies" as noir.
                    • It was an interesting read and the writer showed he/she could write before it all got derailed.
                    Medieval Noir
                    • Smash to pink?
                    • Well, this is another tough one to judge. It's not really noir. I'm not exactly sure what it is.
                    • I'll just give it an average score and move on.
                    Dead of Night
                    • Don't need all those scene headings. Slug lines are your friend.
                    • What year is this taking place? That seems like an important thing to know in this kind of script.
                    • Although it's obviously too early to make a final verdict, this doesn't seem like something too out of the ordinary or original.
                    • If the scene headings were cleaned up and if the dialogue either went way to the camp side or became something entirely new, it could show promise. Right now, everything is kind of middle of the road.
                    The Wages of Sin
                    • I like the character descriptions
                    • This is probably suffering a little because it's like the tenth one I've read.
                    • I'm not exactly certain what's happening in the end. I take it the baby is dead, but I'm also guessing that the mother is having the guy dig a grave for himself. But maybe they're just digging it for the baby. I'm really not sure.
                    • I liked this overall. All the action in the shootout got a little confusing probably because of all the characters.
                    • I'm not sure if this is "noir," but if it's not, it's close. I'm not really seeing the double cross that would make it more noir.
                    • How much money could a strip club have in a safe?
                    Untitled
                    • Definitely hurt by the 8-page restriction, but I'm not sure it's going into any unfamiliar territory from here on out.
                    • Since it's not blow it out of the water, WTF? in the first 8 pages, I have no choice but to assume it won't be later, either.
                    • Was a quick read and smooth. Probably could have even been a touch leaner in some descriptions, but that's pretty nitpicky.
                    Jack
                    • Well, hmmm, another script hurt by the page limit.
                    • A good read, I liked the back and forth in the restaurant.
                    • It's way to early to even have an idea about what's happening or going to happen here as far as noir is concerned, but it piqued my interest in the first 8 pages, so it gets a few more imaginary points in its favor just for that.
                    Obsessed
                    • Okay, wtf?
                    • I'm not sure this is noir, but I'm also not sure it's a screenplay. It's written in an interesting way, but it doesn't really instruct us how to film the thing, especially when we get to the heartbeating and the heart giving out, etc. Everything's filmable one way or another, but describing fluttering hearts, etc. is the stuff of prose and doesn't easily translate to screen.
                    • I like that the writer is obviously taking a gamble here.
                    • But I think the gamble kind of missed.
                    Tech Noir
                    • "Smacked off her t*ts"?
                    • This was interesting, but it starts to drag when we get to the couple talking in the bar. Some of the back and forth was sharp, but it still seemed too long.
                    • A little early to know what the "noir" is, but since it's written in noir style, I have a better feeling about it getting there than some of the other truncated scripts in this exercise.
                    • Might be a little too been there done that, but too early to know for sure yet.
                    • Not much "tech" in this Tech Noir--other than the name of the place.
                    • I just happened to be flipping through channels this past weekend and noticed that "Tech Noir" is the name of the bar that Sarah Connor is in when she calls home in the Terminator. I'm not sure what that has to do with this script other than it being in the 80s, but that's not something I knew of going into the read.
                    On Twitter @DeadManSkipping

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

                      Notes on my own submission, Infantale (if anybody cares).

                      I didn't have a clue what to write and didn't find out about the contest until the Thursday before it was due. So, I'm pretty thrilled with a few votes.

                      My 2 year old son, who goes to daycare, always wears a hat, so I started with that. He also is a blanket kid, so I threw that in there, too.

                      My goal was to show that noir didn't necessarily have to be in a dark place, have V.O., and have life or death stakes (although if people counted that against me, I understand). For anybody that has had a toddler, you understand that EVERYTHING from their point of view is life and death.

                      My concerns were that it was a little too Stewie from the Family Guy and people might take issue with the toddlers talking like adults (but I didn't want to do VO). I also purposely left out how these kids could be talking like adults cinematically even though that might have bothered some people. In my mind, it's all animated, but I thought I'd just leave it up to the reader's imagination.

                      Some dialogue is definitely "on the nose" and some probably appears to be, but it actually isn't if you think about it. My favorite line was "Can I play with you?"

                      It bothered me after sending it in that I kind of mixed up the timing of events (lunch, afternoon, whatever). It also bothered me that I didn't make it more clear that the daycare worker was also a femme fatale...like all women.
                      On Twitter @DeadManSkipping

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

                        Mr Earth, just to say first, you go beyond the call on notes, and that's very generous indeed.

                        An admission:-

                        Western Noir/Medieval Noir were designed to fluff up the contest and get peeps to question what noir was. I don't think they are NOIR, for the record. I have around 90 noir dvds, and 11 books and apart from a boxset of Western Noir, they are outside the remit, there certainly ain't no Medieval noir I'm aware of.

                        However, I had so little time, one evening only and some weekend time so it was a rush job unfortunately, but anyway, entered them, Western Noir -- as was its intention -- got thrown off course by some damn vampires, apart from this writers [personal] revenge on modern vampire flicks in general like Twilight -- too many of 'em around for my liking so I killed 'em all.... they were there in the 8 page short just to ruin it.

                        The Vampires were originally named Deyus, X and Makin in my notes, but with a light rewrite, they got missed and the entry didn't come out as clearly as I'd hoped, had some clues ladled in but ahh ... needed to shorten the sentences throughout both my entries, make 'em punchy, never written anything so fast... and so on...

                        And rereading them afterwards in here was a painful case for me of ouch, ugh, and darn it!!! It probably was for you too?

                        BUT it worked in one way, your notes Mr Earth with respect to my entries and entries like Dark Fairy were what I'd hoped for [personally] this year.

                        And with other examples, it shows at least how it was always going to be tricky to vote and hopefully not too dull to judge our little noir contest entries in the final reckoning?


                        Medieval Noir ~
                        When a porn shoot in rainy Wales is threatened with not hitting its deadline [when the castle is returned back to the public} by an actress who decides she wants to be a real actress and play a noir femme fatale.

                        (Note: intended in part to ask "what is art?"; see "tattoos are art" fight out in the courtyard, deliberately bad porno level dialogue and then later on in inserted-OTN dialogue that is even worse at very beginning of the "chamber scene" when it attempts to go noir, The script is changed by both me, the actual writer and the director, so here, as a mind-f-ck a character changes the script that he is also a part of??? confusing, metatheatrical or self-referencing sort of thing... where do we draw the line?).

                        Western Noir ~
                        When a grim western is nicely working towards a savage ending after a bank robbery goes wrong - the femme fatale gets her way only after the gang she's infiltrated gets wiped out by DEM vampires and improbable plot logic!


                        (Notes: self-referencing dialogue included; Deus Ex Machina; script sets out to confound the idea of noir; and was it spoof, comedy, serious? Tyburn, the character, is named after the grim and famous hanging tree from 16th Century London).

                        Both were ambitious, both probably failed in their intentions for the most part!

                        It's all showbiz!!!
                        Last edited by The Road Warrior; 04-30-2013, 08:40 AM.
                        Forthcoming: The Annual, "I JUST GOT DUMPED" Valentine's Short Screenplay Writing Competition. Keep an eye on Writing Exercises.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

                          Originally posted by The Road Warrior View Post
                          Mr Earth, just to say first, you go beyond the call on notes, and that's very generous indeed.
                          I'm becoming more and more convinced that I would make a better producer than a writer.

                          For me, I think Medieval Noir might have suffered some from me reading too many entries in one sitting. That was another thing I debated with myself (I do so much debating with myself it's a wonder I'm not blind). I decided to try to read as many as possible in one day, so that I would have the same mindset for each (or something) and if number 10 was truly outstanding, it would jump off the page. But that might not have been the most fair way to do it.

                          Oh, well, that's probably just another way this exercise reflects real life with submissions and readers.
                          On Twitter @DeadManSkipping

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

                            Thanks all for your comments,
                            Originally posted by The Road Warrior View Post
                            Friggin' Dpat, bet he was grinning and chuckling malevolently as those votes came in.
                            It's as if you don't know me. Truth to tell I groaned a little when I looked up and down the columns and realized The Shooter was pulling ahead. The dude adding up the numbers nabs first place?! It's gotta be rigged!
                            Originally posted by Mr. Earth View Post
                            Hey, dpaterso, didn't you vote?
                            Yeah I did, but I had the advantage of knowing who the authors were -- though I always do my best to forget who submitted what before I vote, with some success, I might add! -- so I didn't get bonus points for voting, to counter the fact I might have voted strategically. Gotta play fair right across the board, even when it's just a fun contest!

                            My votes went to:

                            1st - The Wages of Sin
                            2nd - We See
                            3rd - Jack

                            Anyways, some comments:

                            The Dark Fairy

                            Interesting read, tho' I think it might belong in a horror or Halloween contest rather than a Noir contest.

                            Judas

                            When I started reading I was kinda skeptical, thinking it was some kind of Biblical spoof, but as I read on I found it had appeal. Just pushed out of my top 3 by others, alas.

                            Dark Eyes

                            I thought this was going somewhere but discovered I'd been Rickrolled! Amusing twist, but a blasphemy against the holy scriptures of Noir.

                            Red and White

                            Good menacing build-up and an unexpected twist, though it seemed a little too simple, I thought maybe it was missing some bad girl sex in the middle, as well a double-double-cross. Could'a got a vote but others squeezed in ahead.

                            The Ends

                            Fun read, and I'm into Sci-Fi, but the Noir-o-meter didn't get a strong enough reading from this entry, which gave other entries the advantage.

                            Infantale

                            An imaginative and amusing take, but no, not for me.

                            The Art Heist

                            Fun read, but not enough twist and not enough seduction to push this into winning territory, for me anyway.

                            The Shooter

                            Mine. An awful Hobbit parody and a Blade Runner parody I'd tried to write both crashed and burned. Out of their ashes, somehow, arose this heap of stinky poo. Really surprised to see it pulled a couple of votes!

                            We See

                            Visual, clever, twisty. Not really sure how it scores on the Noir-o-meter, low to medium I guess, but still, like. Gets a vote.

                            Western Noir

                            Fun read, but the Noir-o-meter barely beeped.

                            Medieval Noir

                            The Noir-o-meter broke down at this point and emitted smoke! Alas I think this one's too tongue-in-cheek to be fully appreciated in the context of a Noir-themed contest with more serious entries.

                            Dead of Night

                            Mine. Sample pages from a Noir script I'd worked on a few years back, and was tinkering with again when the idea of the Noir contest was aired. Seeing how it fared against others of its ilk was too tempting.

                            The Wages of Sin

                            Yeah I liked this one, gets a vote.

                            Untitled

                            Not allergic to this, though I've no real idea where it's heading, and this let other entries get that half-step ahead when it came to voting.

                            Jack

                            Too cool! Jack reminds me of Dwight in Sin City. Gets a vote.

                            Obsessed

                            Reads well enough, but didn't make the lights on the Noir-o-meter glow brightly enough.

                            Tech Noir

                            This has got all the makings, but I'm not sure if it's pushing ahead quickly enough, or if something else made me vote for other entries instead.

                            None of which is meant to be negative, it's just how I reacted to the various entries. Some folks had wondered whether the lack of Noir theme would influence voting, I'd have to say this certainly did for me. I wasn't not interested in the entries that didn't have as many Noir motifs as others did, but when I bought my ticket and the lights went down, that's what I expected to see.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Results - "Dangerous Dames" Noir contest 2013

                              Originally posted by Mr. Earth View Post
                              Notes on my own submission, Infantale (if anybody cares).

                              I didn't have a clue what to write and didn't find out about the contest until the Thursday before it was due. So, I'm pretty thrilled with a few votes.

                              My 2 year old son, who goes to daycare, always wears a hat, so I started with that. He also is a blanket kid, so I threw that in there, too.

                              My goal was to show that noir didn't necessarily have to be in a dark place, have V.O., and have life or death stakes (although if people counted that against me, I understand). For anybody that has had a toddler, you understand that EVERYTHING from their point of view is life and death.

                              My concerns were that it was a little too Stewie from the Family Guy and people might take issue with the toddlers talking like adults (but I didn't want to do VO). I also purposely left out how these kids could be talking like adults cinematically even though that might have bothered some people. In my mind, it's all animated, but I thought I'd just leave it up to the reader's imagination.

                              Some dialogue is definitely "on the nose" and some probably appears to be, but it actually isn't if you think about it. My favorite line was "Can I play with you?"

                              It bothered me after sending it in that I kind of mixed up the timing of events (lunch, afternoon, whatever). It also bothered me that I didn't make it more clear that the daycare worker was also a femme fatale...like all women.
                              Yeah, interesting, how people crib from life, and how that develops, the human creative process.

                              Yep, Dpat.
                              Forthcoming: The Annual, "I JUST GOT DUMPED" Valentine's Short Screenplay Writing Competition. Keep an eye on Writing Exercises.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X