Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

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  • Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

    There are 24 entries! Well done all for writing to theme and deadline.

    1. HELLOWEEN
    2. Devil's Mountain
    3. The Cutest Little Thing
    4. Spider
    5. Potter's Field
    6. Motivation
    7. The Beans
    8. Doughboy
    9. Steve
    10. The Dead Watchers
    11. Molly
    12. Coffin Creek
    13. The Taker
    14. The Bell
    15. The Reunion
    16. Butterflies
    17. Cinemassacre
    18. Picky
    19. Satan's Moon
    20. Best Halloween Ever
    21. Versus
    22. Requiem
    23. Danse Macabre
    24. Mating Call

    Even when using PDFs as a useful lowest common denominator, there's still quite a variance in formatting, which I've tried to catch and correct. If you read your own entry and spot any errors, PM me and I'll correct ASAP.

    As suggested elsewhere, consider making notes as you read each entry, maybe award star ratings for character, dialogue, setting, etc. Treat every entry as the winner -- until you read something better that pushes it further down your pick-list.

    It's not gonna be easy, but once you pick your 1st, 2nd and 3rd top choices, PM or email these to me ([email protected]). I'd really appreciate receiving them in the format,

    1st - title
    2nd - title
    3rd - title

    Please don't vote for your own entry. If this were allowed, everyone would do it, so what's the point? It just clouds the voting.

    If you don't like reading inside the scrollbox windows, try selecting Thread Tools > Show Printable Version.

    Tentative voting deadline: how about aiming for Thu 7th? A full week in acknowledgement of the high number of entries.

    Edit: The results have been posted, see here. Feedback that gives us an idea of what makes a script work for readers or what might turn readers off is a big part of these contests for many, here's hoping we can find time to participate in this, too.
    Last edited by dpaterso; 11-08-2013, 01:10 AM.
    Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

  • #2
    Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

    Code:
    HELLOWEEN
    
    THAT SINKING SOUND from the pits of your stomachs... acrid
    smoke, haze and descent, into hell below the earth... layer
    after layer, the sweating, scantily adorned multitudes in
    agony. Another layer down, and another ring, the circles of
    Hades pass swiftly as the bottom floor comes into focus...
    
    GROUND FLOOR IN HELL
    
    The layers of souls, like an ocean crushed beneath the topmost
    layers, and bobbing atop the effluvium, a crystal clear
    
    SPHERICAL BUBBLE (INTERCUTTING)
    
    Standing beside the tree of life is a Mayan SHAMAN, who has
    stood his ground for five centuries now.
    
    The larger demons take whacks at the bubble with hammers and
    picks. Shaman gazes back unflinchingly, softly chews a leaf.
    A ROAR parts the demons.
    
                           BAEL
                   Back away!
    
    BAEL towers on hairy spider legs, squishing unfortunates as he
    drags a massive scimitar.
    
    Sexy AGRAT slithers behind, her naked body draped only in a
    serpent, which wraps around her breasts and bikini area.
    
    Another hot demon babe, NAAMAH, with short fur that covers her
    up to her breasts and ram horns protrude out from her skull.
    
    Shaman calmly stares out, picks a leaf from the tree of life,
    and slowly chews.
    
    Attention turns to a tall jutting clock tower, where hell time
    reveals 11:59pm, October 30th.  Seconds tick. BEELZEBUB flies
    in on a dragon with a gnarly arrow strung on his bow.
    
                           BEELZEBUB
                   Time is at hand, Shaman!
    
    Shaman meditates. He turns and picks a dozen leaves from the
    tree and stores them in his sack.
    
                             DEMONS OF HELL
                   Ten!    Nine! ...
    
    ATOP THE CLOCK TOWER
    
    Dashingly deceptive BELIAL gazes down on the festivities.
    
    Agbat flicks out her tongue toward the Shaman, as does her
    serpent; 4, 3...
    
                           BAEL
                   It is finished.
    
    ROAR of midnight, the bells of hell. Bael raises his scimitar
    and crashes down upon the bubble. Red lightning. A hairline
    fracture. The demons swarm. Bael raises it again.
    
    Naamah points a clawed finger at the Shaman. Bites the air.
    
    Scimitar crashes down. A crack.
    
    Again the scimitar crashes down, and the bubble releases its
    air in a gust. Shaman readies himself. The scimitar splits the
    bubble in two. All hell breaks loose. Literally.
    
    Shaman flies up into the demon skies like a Saturn Five.
    
    The demons who can fly scramble after. Beelzebub lets his
    arrow fly, atop the dragon in hot pursuit.
    
    Shaman jackknifes his body as the arrow slides past his
    abdomen, missing. With a wave of his hand, Beelzebub calls
    forth a swarm high above. Sky fills with FLYING CHERUBS, ugly
    Cupids with leathery wings and jagged teeth. Shaman dashes to
    evade. Cherub seizes his leg, sinks teeth in.
    
    Shaman turns into one of the upper levels...
    
    UPPER LEVEL OF HELL
    
    Belial appears atop a pedestal like rock formation, watches.
    Shaman flies into the caverns of torture, skirting the worker
    demons and writhing souls toward a boiling vat of acid...
    Shaman dips his attached Cherub into the acid, where it melts
    off with a cackle.
    
    Hundreds follow. Shaman jets off across the fields of agony...
    
    MAIN HELL CAVERN
    
    The major demons fly up to catch him, Beelzebub, Agrat, Bael.
    Even Leviathan rises up from the floor of souls, takes flight
    to pursue.
    
    Shaman eats the leaves from his satchel, mumbles a prayer and
    rises fast toward the jagged rock roof. Closing his eyes, an
    energy field of Chi power emits from him, and he blasts
    straight up into the rock without slowing.
    
    EXT. DARK MOUNTAIN - NIGHT
    
    Exploding from the earth, a seemingly volcanic eruption
    launches rock and soil. Shaman blasts into the sky and hides
    in the cloud cover above.
    
    INT. SUBURBAN BEDROOM - NIGHT
    
    OLGA CRENSHAW (19) dresses for Halloween, a warrior princess
    much like Xena, leather and metal plates of armor.   Behind
    her, at the window, her large-boned sidekick MELANIE watches
    the neighborhood, curtain pushed to the side. She's dressed
    as Heath Ledger's Joker.
    
                           MELANIE
                   What the hell was that? Sounded
                   like a frickin' bomb.
    
                           OLGA
                   Fireworks.
    
                           MELANIE
                   No way. That was like huge, Olga,
                   like a earthquake.
    
    In the tall mirror, Olga adjusts her black wig. Melanie steps
    over to paint red lipstick on as a permanent scar smile.
    
                           MELANIE
                   That wasn't a firework.   I think
                   I know the difference.
    
    Olga adjusts her breasts and armor.
    
                           OLGA
                   What ever. How do I look?
    
                           MELANIE
                   I think it needs something.   You
                   know?
    
                           OLGA
                   What?
    
                           MELANIE
                   I told you how I get these really
                   uncomfortable feelings sometimes.
    
                           OLGA
                   Yeah.
    
                           MELANIE
                   Well.   Last night, I had this
                   really freaky dream, I mean--
    
                           OLGA
                   Uh huh. You know what I need?  A
                   weapon!
    
                           MELANIE
                   Okay.
    
    Olga spins around to search her room. A tennis racket?
    
    EXT. MOUNTAINTOP AT HOLE - NIGHT
    
    From the hole in the earth, a twinkling like Tinkerbell. On
    the volcanic floor it solidifies, Belial, handsome, tailored,
    confident, pure evil. He looks about to see the shimmering
    streetlights of a small town down below in the valley.
    
    A RUMBLE grows, and Belial disintegrates, shoots off. The hole
    explodes up as Bael climbs out and roars into the night air.
    
                           BAEL
                   Raaaaaaaaa!
    
    He claws his way into our world, stands beside the hole. Agrat
    floats up next, a dancer, spinning gracefully above the ground.
    
                           AGRAT
                   Where is our Holy Man?
    
                           BAEL
                   He will be found.
    
    Bael bends down and calls into the hole below.
    
                           BAEL
                   We are unleashed!
    
    Bael and Agrat shoot off toward the unsuspecting neighborhoods
    below. Passed by the charging goat Namaah. Beelzebub flies
    behind them on a dragon. From out of the evil hole pour the
    demons.   Spreading their plague in all directions, demons
    scamper and fly, search wildly. Demons shall rule the earth.
    
    INT. OLGA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    
    Olga sneaks from the hallway into a dark bedroom. It's quiet,
    and she leaves the light off. She tiptoes in. Something
    rustles in the shadowy recesses.
    
                            OLGA
                   Timmy?
    
    Martial arts supplies, throwing stars, nunchukus. Olga spots a
    Samurai sword. Slides it from its sheath and holds it. Slides
    it back in. From the blackness a CAT jumps out.
    
                            CAT
                   Raar!
    
    Olga screams, backs away cowering.
    
                           OLGA
                   Lucky! You little bastard.
                   Stupid.
    
    Melanie runs to the doorway.
    
                           MELANIE
                   Hey? You okay? You know I had
                   an evil premonition last night?
    
                           OLGA
                   That's because we're going to
                   Rave Evil.
    
    HALLWAY
    
    Olga emerges with the sword.
    
                           MELANIE
                   Is that like, for real?
    
                           OLGA
                   Oh yeah. It's razor sharp too.
    
                            MELANIE
                   Dude.
    
                           OLGA
                   Don't worry. I know how to handle
                   it.
    
                           MELANIE
                   I think don't handle it was like
                   my point, O.
    
    HONK from the street.   They turn.
    
    EXT. OLGA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    
    Muscle car jolts to a stop, DEATH METAL blares from crap
    speakers. FAST JIMMY gazes out, HONKS again, gels his hair.
    Olga and Melanie strut out of the house, ready for Halloween.
    
                           KIDS
                   TRICK OR TREAT!!!!
    
    From a hedge BRATS ambush them. Olga and Melanie jump back.
    Then laugh. The kids run up to the front door of the house.
    Fast Jimmy changes the music to pop 40. Olga bends at the open
    passenger window.
    
                           FAST JIMMY
                   Hey, you look hot.
    
                            OLGA
                   I thought I said I was taking my
                   own car?
    
                            FAST JIMMY
                   What? My ride's not good enough
                   for you?
    
                           OLGA
                   You're not gonna get wasted, and
                   drive drunk again?
    
                           FAST JIMMY
                   Come on baby. Don't be like
                   that.
    
                           OLGA
                   Like what, Jimmy? Responsible?
                   Not a dumbass?
    
                           FAST JIMMY
                   I didn't mean it like that.
                   Jeez. Have a good time for once
                   in your life.
    
                           OLGA
                   Anyway, I told Mel I'd give her a
                   ride home.
    
                           FAST JIMMY
                   Hey, I'm just being like
                   gentlemanly and sh**.
    
    She laughs, and stands tall beside the car.
    
                             FAST JIMMY
                   Later.
    
    He slams it in gear and peels out.
    
                           MELANIE
                   What was that?
    
    Olga shakes her head, and they stroll toward a car. Olga's skin
    begins to glow. White light emits from every pore of her body.
    Melanie backs away, as the sidewalk glows around Olga.
    
                             MELANIE
                   Olga? What the hell?
    
    And to learn the rest of this story, one would need to speak to
    the writer... (CONTINUED)
    Last edited by dpaterso; 11-05-2013, 01:44 AM.
    Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

      Code:
      DEVIL'S MOUNTAIN
      
      FADE IN:
      
      EXT. SWAMP - EVENING
      
      A dozen alligators thrash about in the murky swamp as
      carnival-like music plays nearby.
      
      
      EXT. WONDERLAND THEME PARK - EVENING
      
      Sunlight fades into the horizon as darkness creeps over
      Wonderland. An army of Wonderland employees scramble to hang
      up Halloween decorations around the park before it opens. An
      enormous crowd of tourists gather outside the gates.
      
      
      INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
      
      SCOTT and TREVOR, 25, dressed in matching dark Polo shirts
      and khakis, wait impatiently in the manager's office.
      
                           TREVOR
                 Why do you think Lufnis called us
                 in here?
      
                           SCOTT
                 I don't know.
      
                           TREVOR
                     (worried)
                 Sh**, man. Maybe he found out about
                 the food stuff.
      
                           SCOTT
                 Hmm? What are you talking about?
      
                           TREVOR
                 Where do think I've been getting
                 the food I bring home every night?
      
                           SCOTT
                     (shocked)
                 You've been stealing it from here?
      
                           TREVOR
                 No! It's not stealing, they were
                 throwing it out! I'm just helping
                 them get rid of it.
      
      Scott stares daggers at Trevor.
      
                          SCOTT
                    (disbelief)
                You're telling me we've been eating
                dumpster food for the last two
                months?!
      
                          TREVOR
                First off, it never reaches the
                dumpster! Get your facts straight.
      
                          SCOTT
                    (appalled)
                That doesn't help one bit! Why
                would you---
      
      The door opens and a hefty old man, MR. LUFNIS, 60, enters
      the room carrying a clipboard and surveying the two.
      
      They sit up straight.
      
      Lufnis eases himself into his chair and speaks with a calm
      southern accent.
      
                           MR. LUFNIS
                Scott. Trevor. How are you today,
                gentlemen?
      
                          SCOTT/TREVOR
                Good.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                    (taking a seat)
                Good! You both been here for a
                couple months now, right?
                Everything going good? Ya'll
                fittin' in?
      
                          SCOTT/TREVOR
                Yes, sir. No problems at all.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                That's what I like to hear!
                    (checks his watch)
                Park's opening soon, so I'll keep
                this short. Now, do you know why I
                wanted to see you two?
      
                          SCOTT
                    (pleading)
                Look Mr. L, we're sorry for
                whatever we might have done,
                especially him--
      
                          TREVOR
                I didn't know I couldn't take food
                from the dumpster, okay?! I figured
                that's fair game!
      
      Lufnis gives them a bewildered look.
      
                          SCOTT
                    (to Trevor)
                So it was from the dumpster!
      
                          TREVOR
                How else would I have gotten it,
                dude? Walk out the front gate with
                it?!
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                Goodness sakes, boys, settle down!
                I don't know what ya'll are arguing
                about, but it should probably stop.
      
      The guys straighten out and focus back on Lufnis.
      
                          SCOTT
                Sorry.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                I'm not here to punish either of
                you so don't worry `bout that.
      
      They breathe a sigh of relief.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS (CONT'D)
                I actually want to give you two an
                opportunity!
      
                          TREVOR
                Like what? More money?
      
      Scott elbows him to shut up.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                Well you see, Halloween is my
                favorite time of the year. You
                know, with all the little ghosts
                and ghoulies running `round--it's a
                lot of fun. And for the past thirty
                years, I've been adding my own
                little flair to the Devil's
                Mountain ride on Halloween night.
      
      Trevor's eyes light up.
      
                          TREVOR
                Yeah! You do the thing with the
                dummy! I remember that!
      
      Mr. Lufnis is beaming. Scott doesn't understand.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                    (to Trevor)
                That's right. It's a Wonderland
                Halloween tradition!
      
                          SCOTT
                What is that, exactly?
      
      Mr. Lufnis gives the "go ahead" nod to Trevor.
      
                          TREVOR
                    (to Scott)
                Alright, so normally when you reach
                the peak of the mountain, you just
                kinda plummet down really fast
                before you reach the exit outside.
      
                          SCOTT
                Yeah.
      
                          TREVOR
                Except on Halloween, that's when
                they add a dummy filled with fake
                blood and guts to drop down in
                front of the shuttle when it
                reaches max speed.
      
                           SCOTT
                So what happens? You hit it or
                something?
      
                          TREVOR
                Yeah! It's awesome `cause you don't
                expect it at all. You hear a lot of
                screaming, everything's dark, and
                then BAM! Blood and guts
                everywhere!
      
                          SCOTT
                    (grimacing)
                That's great.
                    (to Mr. Lufnis)
                Um, so what did you need us to do?
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                    (looking them over)
                I need to know if you two are team
                players.
      
      The guys look at him confused.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS (CONT'D)
                Just between us, this isn't what
                you'd call "corporate sanctioned",
                so there's no doohickeys up there
                to control everything. That's why I
                need you two up in the rafters to
                do the job.
      
                          TREVOR
                You want us up there to drop the
                dummies?
      
                           SCOTT
                I don't know, it sounds kinda
                dangerous.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                I understand. Most of the interns
                like yourself finish up the program
                here and leave.
                    (leans in)
                But let me tell ya'll sumthin'
                about team players. Prove to me
                that you are, and I guarantee you
                two will find more. . .permanent
                positions here.
      
      He gives them a wink.
      
                          TREVOR
                Alright, yeah! We'll do it!
      
                          SCOTT
                What?
      
                          MR. LUFNIS
                    (smacks desk)
                Ha! I knew I could count on you
                boys! I'll let Oscar know you're
                coming.
      
      Mr. Lufnis checks his watch again.
      
                          MR. LUFNIS (CONT'D)
                Better get moving! Halloween
                night is just `round the
                corner, and we don't want to
                disappoint.
      
      
      INT. PEAK OF DEVIL'S MOUNTAIN - NIGHT
      
      Scott and Trevor navigate up a seemingly endless spiral
      staircase to the top of Devil's Mountain. They follow behind
      a pale, grim-looking man, OSCAR, 50.
      
      The surroundings gets darker as they move higher up.
      
                          TREVOR
                    (to Oscar, jokingly)
                Must be lonely working here by
                yourself, huh?
      
      Oscar remains silent.
      
                          TREVOR (CONT'D)
                Jesus, it's dark as hell up here.
      
                          SCOTT
                I can't believe we're doing this.
      
                          TREVOR
                Why are you complaining? You didn't
                have to come.
      
                          SCOTT
                Of course I did! You told him we
                would.
      
                          TREVOR
                No, you're here because you want a
                job as bad as I do.
      
                          SCOTT
                I'm definitely starting to regret
                it.
      
      They reach the catwalk above the rollercoaster. The ROARING
      WIND coursing through the hollow mountain make it difficult
      to hear.
      
                            OSCAR
                This way.
      
      Oscar leads them to a pile of bungee ropes. He shines a dim
      flashlight on it.
      
                          OSCAR (CONT'D)
                Your harnesses.
      
      They fumble for a minute to get their harnesses strapped in.
      
                          TREVOR
                    (loudly)
                Alright, what now?
      
      Oscar points to the other end of the pitch black catwalk.
      Without a word, he descends down the stairs.
      
                          SCOTT
                Wait! Give us a flashlight at
                least!
      
      It's too late, Oscar is gone.
      
                          SCOTT (CONT'D)
                    (yelling)
                Are you kidding me? Hey! Come back!
      
      Trevor keeps moving forward.
      
                          TREVOR
                    (shouting back)
                Forget it! Stop being a pansy and
                just hold on to the side rails. I
                think there's supposed to be a room
                at the end of the plat--
      
      The combination of acoustics and high winds cause a deafening
      GROWLING noise to echo throughout the mountain.
      
                          SCOTT
                What!? I can't hear you!
      
      He waits for a response. None.
      
                          SCOTT (CONT'D)
                Trevor! Come on, this ain't the
                time to mess around!
      
      Scott blindly moves forward, holding onto the side railings
      with a tight grip.
      
                          SCOTT (CONT'D)
                Trevor! Hey, Trev--
      
      As he takes his next step, the floor disappears beneath him,
      taking him by surprise. Scott lets out a SCREAM and plummets
      downward.
      
      The bungee rope catches Scott, preventing him from smashing
      into the metal rollercoaster rails, but leaves him dangling
      upside down above it.
      
      Scott recovers from the vertigo to notice Trevor hanging next
      to him unconscious.
      
                           SCOTT (CONT'D)
                     (nudging Trevor)
                 Hey! Wake up!
      
      CLICK.
      
      The lights and animatronic characters around them suddenly
      switch on, singing a fun and scary tune:
      
                           ANIMATRONIC
                     (singing)
                 WELCOME TO THE DEVIL'S MOUNTAIN
                 HOME TO THIEVES AND FOLKS ASTRAY
                 HERE WE ARE IN THE DEVIL'S MOUNTAIN
                 WORKING NIGHT AND DAY.
                 NO ESCAPE FROM THE DEVIL'S MOUNTAIN
                 THIS IS THE PRICE WE PAY.
      
      Scott, wide-eyed, realizing the ride was starting up,
      frantically searches for a way out.
      
                           SCOTT
                 Trevor! Come on!
      
      Scott fumbles around with the harness straps, but nothing
      works.
      
      DELIGHTED SHRIEKS from guests get louder with each passing
      second.
      
      TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK.
      
      The shuttle slowly climbs up the last stretch of the ride,
      unaware Scott and Trevor are waiting at the bottom.
      
                           SCOTT (CONT'D)
                     (clamoring)
                 STOP THE RIDE! PLEASE! WE'RE DOWN
                 HERE!
      
      The shuttle reaches the peak, then accelerates down towards
      them.
      
                           SCOTT (CONT'D)
                 STOP THE RIDE!!!
      
      Scott sees the excitement on the guests' faces as they get
      closer and closer. His scream of terror gets lost in their
      screams of joy, and then---
      
      CUT TO BLACK.
      
      THE END.
      Last edited by dpaterso; 11-05-2013, 01:51 AM.
      Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

        Code:
        THE CUTEST LITTLE THING
        
        FADE IN
        
        INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
        
        FLUFFY, a pure white Himalayan kitten, sits quietly. He
        looks more like a giant cotton ball than a real pet. Fluffy
        looks up at HEATHER, a twenty-something blonde bombshell.
        Heather opens the door to the oven. She pulls out a baking
        sheet. Fluffy watches every move. Heather speaks in her
        sweet Southern Belle accent.
        
                             HEATHER
                   Your favorite Halloween treats are
                   done.
        
        She stands holding the baking sheet. She smiles. Fluffy
        bats his extra large blue eyes. He lets out a faint sound.
        
                               FLUFFY
                   Mew
        
        Heather practically melts.
        
                             HEATHER
                   Awww. Fluffy if you aren't the
                   cutest little thing.
        
        Heather walks out of the kitchen and into the
        
        
        HALL.
        
        She sits the baking sheet on a table under the window.
        
                             HEATHER
                   We'll sit these here to cool.
        
        She looks back into the
        
        
        KITCHEN.
        
        He is gone.
        
                               HEATHER
                   Fluffy?
        
        Heather stares into the kitchen.
        
                              FLUFFY (O.S.)
                  Mew.
        
        Heather jumps. She looks down the hall. Fluffy stares
        back.
        
                            HEATHER
                  You startled me.
        
        She points at the kitchen then the hall.
        
                            HEATHER
                  How did you move so quick?
        
        They stare at each other. Fluffy bats his eyes.
        
                              FLUFFY
                  Mew.
        
        Heather, hands on hips, cocks her head to one side.
        
                              HEATHER
                  Awww.
        
        Heather turns around. She lifts the window a few
        inches. It sticks. She lifts harder. It doesn't
        move. She gives it a hard shove. It slides all the way up
        and catches.
        
                              HEATHER
                  Crap!
        
        Heather tries to pull it back down. It's stuck. Heather
        bends over and looks out the window.
        
                            HEATHER
                  Wow ten stories is a big step.
                  Ouch.
        
        She rubs her thigh.
        
                            HEATHER
                  Fluffy this cookie sheet is still
                  hot.
        
                              FLUFFY (O.S.)
                  Mew.
        
        Heather turns to Fluffy.
        
                            HEATHER
                  I better call the handyman.
        
        
        INT. ROOM - NIGHT
        
        A balding, round faced, middle-aged man sits at a desk.      He
        is cleaning his eye glasses.
        
        The phone rings. He picks it up. Before he can say a
        word...
        
                            HEATHER (O.S.)
                  Mr. Grimms? This is Heather across
                  the hall. Can you come fix my
                  window?
        
        Mr. Grimms grins devilishly.
        
                            MR. GRIMMS
                  Oh yes Heather. I'll be there in
                  five minutes.
        
        Mr. Grimms drops the phone. Sweat beads form on his bald
        spot. He stands and stares at the wall.
        
        The wall is covered with 13 photographs of beautiful young
        women. All have a red X on them except one. A photo of
        Heather is unmarked.
        
        Mr. Grimms slowly and gently rubs the photo.
        
                            MR. GRIMMS
                  It's going to be so good.
        
        He laughs an obnoxious and maniacal laugh.
        
        
        INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
        
        Heather opens the door.
        
                            HEATHER
                  Wow that was super fast.
        
        Mr. Grimms enters.
        
                            MR. GRIMMS
                  I couldn't wait... I mean I didn't
                  want to keep you waiting.
        
        Heather cocks her head to the side.
        
                            HEATHER
                  Aww. Your so sweet.
        
        Something clicks in Heather's head. She turns frantically.
        
                               HEATHER
                    Fluffy!
        
        Heather bolts out of the room.
        
                              HEATHER (O.S.)
                    This way Mr. Grimms.
        
        Mr. Grimms watches her leave. He licks his lips.
        
        
        INT. HALL
        
        Heather dashes in. Fluffy sits staring up at the baking
        sheet holding the treats.
        
                              HEATHER
                    Fluffy I was worried.
        
        Heather points to the open window.
        
                              HEATHER
                    This one Mr. Grimms.
        
        He enters the room. He looks at the window.
        
                               MR. GRIMMS
                    Oh yes.   I see.
        
        He looks at Fluffy.
        
                              MR. GRIMMS
                    That little kitten might jump up
                    here and this window could come
                    down and pound him, or worse.
        
        Heather is aghast.
        
                              HEATHER
                    Oh no Mr. Grimms you have to fix
                    it.
        
        She looks down at Fluffy.
        
                              HEATHER
                    I couldn't stand the thought of my
                    little Fluffy getting pounded.
        
        Mr. Grimms clears his throat. He wipes the sweat from his
        head.
        
                            MR. GRIMMS
                  That's quite the image.
        
        Heather looks at him dumbfounded. She turns and leaves.
        
                            HEATHER (O.S.)
                  I'll be in the shower so see
                  yourself out. Thank you!
        
        Mr. Grimms turns and lays the toolbox on the window
        sill. He opens the box and pulls out a hammer. It is caked
        with blood and hair.
        
                            MR. GRIMMS
                  Ouch!
        
        He looks down at the baking sheet. He puts the hammer
        back. Picks up the table and moves it to the side. He
        stares at the treats.
        
                            FLUFFY (O.S.)
                  Mew.
        
        Mr. Grimms turns to look at Fluffy. He turns back to the
        small treats. He picks one up. He inspects it. He sniffs
        it. He smiles.
        
        Fluffy watches Mr. Grimms flick the treat in the air.    It
        slowly tumbles end over end.
        
        Fluffy's eyes grow wide as the treat plops into Mr. Grimms'
        mouth. Mr. Grimms savors it.
        
        A low growl.
        
        Mr. Grimms turns to look at Fluffy, but he is gone. In his
        place stands a hairless, scrawny, wrinkled creature. It's
        eyes radiate red. Saliva hangs from it's huge fangs.
        
        Mr. Grimms stands motionless.
        
        The creature springs onto Mr. Grimms chest. It rips open
        his throat. It reaches into his neck, grabbing the treat
        from his mouth.
        
        The creature jumps down. Mr. Grimms clutches his
        throat. He stumbles back against the window, knocking his
        toolbox out. Mr. Grimms quickly follows.
        
                            HEATHER (O.S.)
                  Mr. Grimms?
        
        Heather emerges, wet hair and a small towel barely covering
        her voluptuous body.
        
                            HEATHER
                  Mr. Grimms are you still here?
        
        Heather looks down and sees Fluffy eating a treat.
        
                            HEATHER
                  Did Mr. Grimms give you that?
        
        Fluffy looks up. He bats his gorgeous blue eyes.
        
                            HEATHER
                  Awww. You are just the cutest
                  little thing.
                                                              END
        Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

          Code:
          SPIDER
          
          FADE IN
          
          EXT. - DAY
          
          ALVIN, 60, hoes his meager garden. He stops. He looks up
          at the sky. No clouds, no sun, it's just vast grayness. He
          buttons the top button on a heavy coat.
          
          SUPER: "Ten Years After The Meteor Strike."
          
          Alvin continues to hoe.  A hundred yards past Alvin in the
          
          
          TREELINE
          
          stands CRAIG, 30. He watches Alvin hoe. He slowly scans the
          scene. He studies the two-story farmhouse. The windows are
          boarded from the outside. No one moving but
          
          
          ALVIN
          
          bends down. He picks up a shriveled potato. Alvin
          smiles. He wipes the dirt off. Alvin turns and walks
          toward the house. He stops to see
          
          
          CRAIG
          
          walking toward him. Craig looks battle hardened. A machete
          strapped to the side of his leg. He has an AK-47 slung
          around his shoulder.
          
          Craig raises his hand. Alvin looks at the house then back
          to Craig. He looks down at the half rotten potato.
          
                                 ALVIN
                       I won't make it.
          
          The potato doesn't answer. Alvin looks back up at a fast
          moving Craig. Alvin waves. Alvin smiles. Craig stops a
          few feet away.
          
                                 CRAIG
                       Hello.
          
          Alvin stands, the potato in one hand and the hoe in the
          other. Alvin's knuckles turn white from his grip on the
          hoe. Craig notices. Craig slowly moves his hand to the
          machete.
          
          Alvin sees. He relaxes his grip.
          
                                 ALVIN
                    Hello.
          
          Craig is tense. His eyes move from Alvin to the house and
          back.
          
                              CRAIG
                    Just passing through, hoping for a
                    handout.
          
          Alvin looks down at the potato.
          
                              ALVIN
                    I don't have much. But your
                    welcome to stay the night.
          
          Craig looks past Alvin at the creepy house.
          
                              ALVIN
                    Don't get much company. A human
                    voice would be nice to hear.
          
          Alvin walks to the house. Craig watches. Alvin rests the
          hoe against the porch rail. Craig follows carefully.
          Alvin opens the front door. He waits for Craig.
          
                                 ALVIN
                    After you.
          
          Craig stops.
          
                              CRAIG
                    Age before beauty.
          
          Craig smiles. Alvin, slow to get the joke, chuckles.
          
                              ALVIN
                    That's an oldie.
          
          Alvin goes through the door. Craig looks around and then
          enters the
          
          
          HOUSE.
          
          They both stand in a
          
          
          HALL.
          
          Alvin points to the left.
          
                              ALVIN
                    You can make yourself at home in
                    the living room, if you like.
          
                              CRAIG
                    Where are you going?
          
          Alvin points down the hall.
          
                              ALVIN
                    To the kitchen. To fix us a bite.
          
          Craig looks down the hall. The house is dimly lit with
          candles.
          
                              CRAIG
                    I'll come along. In case you need
                    help.
          
          Alvin nods. Alvin leads the way. They pass the large
          living room. Craig notices blankets cover the windows.
          
                              ALVIN (O.S.)
                    To keep the light from getting out.
          
          Craig turns to Alvin.
          
                              ALVIN
                    The blankets.
          
          Craig nods. They walk past a closed door. A key in the
          keyhole. Craig stops.
          
                              CRAIG
                    What's in here?
          
          Alvin stops. He slowly turns around. He looks uneasy.
          
                                CRAIG
                    Well?
          
          Alvin says nothing. Craig reaches for the door knob.
          
                              ALVIN
                    It goes to the basement.
          
          Craig quickly looks at Alvin, tense. Alvin, just as tense,
          tries to smile.
          
                               ALVIN
                     My wife's canned goods are down
                     there.
          
          Craig looks at the door.
          
                               CRAIG
                     Nowadays that's better than gold.
          
          Alvin stammers his words.
          
                               ALVIN
                     Let's go eat. I'm hungry.
          
          Alvin turns and walks away. Craig stares at the door. He
          reaches for the knob. He stops. He turns and follows Alvin
          into the
          
          
          KITCHEN.
          
          Alvin lights a lantern and places it on the table.
          
                               ALVIN
                     Have a seat.
          
          Craig looks around. A couple of jars of corn and a couple
          of jars of beans sit on the counter.
          
                                CRAIG
                     No meat?
          
          Alvin quickly looks at him, shocked. Craig notices.
          
                               CRAIG
                     You have meat in the basement?
          
          Alvin says nothing. He looks back at the hall and then to
          Craig. Craig stares hard. Alvin answers timidly.
          
                               ALVIN
                     I have some salted meat in the
                     basement.
          
          Craig nods.
          
                                CRAIG
                     I see.
          
          Craig notices a calender on the wall. The days marked out.
          
                              CRAIG
                    Keeping track of the days?
          
          Alvin looks at him and then to the calendar.
          
                             ALVIN
                    Yes. I've actually been able to
                    keep up.
          
          Alvin marks the last day - October 31.
          
                                 CRAIG
                    Halloween!
          
          Alvin chuckles.
          
                                 ALVIN
                    Yes it is.
          
                              CRAIG
                    Well I guess I'm your first
                    Trick-or-Treater.
          
          Alvin smiles.
          
                              ALVIN
                    I'd say the only.
          
          Craig smiles back.
          
                                 CRAIG
                    Maybe.
          
          Alvin stops smiling. Craig motions to the door.
          
                              CRAIG
                    How about some of that meat?
          
          Alvin looks worried. He looks at the door.
          
                              ALVIN
                    I guess you can go get some if you
                    like.
          
          Craig looks at him.
          
                                 CRAIG
                    We.
          
          Alvin grabs the lantern.
          
                                   ALVIN
                      Okay, we.
          
          Alvin walks out. Craig follows into the
          
          
          HALL.
          
          Craig takes the lantern. He turns the key. He looks at
          Alvin, who stands emotionless.
          
                                CRAIG
                      You open it.
          
          Alvin looks at him. Then slowly walks to the door. He
          opens it. The door makes a sinister creak.
          
          Craig pushes Alvin aside. He holds up the lantern. He
          steps onto the first step. He stops.
          
                                   CRAIG
                      You first.
          
          Alvin slowly passes Craig and walks down the stairs to the
          
          
          BASEMENT.
          
          He looks up at Craig. He is slowly making his way down the
          steps.
          
          Craig stops halfway down. He raises the lantern.
          
                                CRAIG
                      What does this salted meat taste
                      like?
          
          He surveys the basement. Severed heads line a shelf. Dried
          and shriveled body parts hang from the ceiling.
          
          Alvin quickly grabs the railing with both hands. He gives
          it a push. It slides.
          
          An axe swings down from above. It smashes into Craig's
          face.
          
                                ALVIN
                      Not as good as fresh meat.
          
          END
          Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

            Code:
            POTTER'S FIELD
            
            EXT. BASEBALL FIELD - DAY
            
            A group of BOYS loiter on a weed-choked sandlot surrounded
            by abandoned homes and boarded businesses. A dying ghetto.
            
                                   BOY'S VOICE (O.S.)
                      Got it!
            
            GATES BROWN, a lanky African American 12-year old, races
            toward us on an undersized bicycle, holding up a bright white
            BASEBALL.
            
            JOSE VASQUEZ (12) a pint-sized Latino with moustache fuzz on
            his upper lip, spits into his mitt, rubs it.
            
                                   JOSE
                      Alright!   Let's get this credo!
            
            Gates leaps off his bicycle, runs onto the field.
            
            CAYHILL GOBBITZ (14), a neckless, giant mound of pimply,
            flesh, steps into the left-hand batter's box.
            
            Gates tops the dusty pitcher's mound, glances over his left
            shoulder.
            
            RIGHT FIELD
            
            The skeletal ruins of a TORCHED CAR lay at the base of a
            towering barbed-wire FENCE covered with warning signs,
            "CONSTRUCTION SITE. DANGER. DO NOT ENTER."
            
            PITCHER'S MOUND
            
            Gates rolls the baseball between his fingers, shouts.
            
                                  GATES
                      Right field's out.
            
            Cayhill's sausage fingers strangle a cracked baseball bat
            held together with tape and screws.
            
                                  CAYHILL
                      Yeah, don't worry 'bout it, d***head.
                      Jist throw the ball.
            
            Gates takes a deep breath, leans in for a sign...
            
            DARIOUS (8), Gates's little brother, squats behind the plate,
            shielding his pint-sized body with a dented trash can lid.
            He flashes one finger between his legs - FASTBALL.
            
            Jose lifts a CRUCIFIX chained around his neck, kisses it.
            
            Gates winds up, hurls the baseball.
            
            THWACK.
            
            The ball explodes off Cayhill's bat.
            
            Gates cranks his neck, tracking the ball as it arches high
            across the sky and disappears over the right field fence.
            
            Jose tosses his mitt into the air.
            
                                  JOSE
                      You're out, credo. We win!
            
            Cayhill slams the bat on the ground, snapping it in two.
            
                                   CAYHILL
                      Bullshit! That's a homerun!
            
                                  GATES
                      No way! Right field's out. That's
                      an autographed ball. You gotta go
                      get it.
            
                                  DARIOUS (O.S.)
                      Yeah, hitter's gitters.
            
                                  CAYHILL
                      Shut up, twerp!
            
            Cayhill plows his ham-sized fist into Darious's trash can
            armor, sending the boy crashing to the ground.
            
                                  CAYHILL (CONT'D)
                      What kind of dumbass uses a signed
                      ball, anyhow?
            
                                  GATES
                      One that just beat your ugly ass in
                      the championship.
            
                                  JOSE
                      Yeah, and you owe us five bucks.
            
                                  CAYHILL
                      Game's tied, jackoffs.
            
            Cayhill and his posse mount their bikes, peddle away.
            
            Jose and Darious join Gates in right field.
            
                                  GATES
                      Mama's gonna whip my ass if I don't
                      find it.
            
                                  JOSE
                      Uh, wish I could help, bro, but it's
                      Halloween and Old Lady Lasky's passing
                      out them giant Snickers bars. I
                      gotta get there 'fore she runs out.
            
                                   DARIOUS
                      I'll help.
            
                                  GATES
                      Thanks, D, but you gotta get home.
                      Tell mama I had to--
            
            THUD.
            
            A BASEBALL careens off the rusted car ruins, rolls though
            the weeds, and comes to rest at Gates's feet.
            
                                  JOSE
                      Whoa, that it?
            
            Gates picks up the ball, wipes it on his t-shirt, leaving a
            thick streak of black mud across his chest.
            
                                   GATES
                      S***!
            
                                   JOSE
                      What?
            
            Gates holds up the smudged ball.
            
            CLOSE UP ON BASEBALL
            
            Gouged in the leather, between the red stitching, "HeLp uS."
            
                                  JOSE (CONT'D)
                      Aw man, it's just that fat bastard
                      messin' with you.
            
            Jose grabs a ROCK from the ground, hurls it over the fence,
            bellows.
            
                                  JOSE (CONT'D)
                      Nice try, fat ass.
            
            Gates rubs his finger over the mysterious message, then peers
            at the fence.
            
            Jose climbs on his bike.
            
                                  JOSE (CONT'D)
                      C'mon, let's go!
            
            INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
            
            Surrounded by piles of Halloween candy, Darious devours a
            box of gummy bears in one pour. Gates rips open a pack of
            baseball cards, flips through the deck.
            
            INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
            
            JUANITA BROWN (late 30's) in a bathrobe, smoking a cigarette,
            calls upstairs to the boys.
            
                                  JUANITA
                      Okay, you two, no more candy. Brush
                      your teeth and say your prayers!
            
            INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
            
            In his pajamas, Darious kneels bedside, hands held in prayer.
            
                                  DARIOUS
                      We're doin' pretty good, daddy.
                      Mama still cries a lot, but when I
                      make that funny face, she laughs
                      sometimes.
            
            Gates lies face up on his bed, staring at the ceiling, and
            clutching his prized baseball.
            
            EXT. BASEBALL FIELD - NIGHT
            
            A FLASHLIGHT BEAM cuts through DENSE FOG.
            
                                   GATES (O.S.)
                      Over here!
            
            Jose shuffles next to Gates.
            
                                  JOSE
                      I gotta be crazy for lettin' you
                      drag my ass out here. Place's
                      crawlin' with Hoods.
            
            Gates pulls the BASEBALL from his pocket.
            
                                  JOSE (CONT'D)
                      Boy, you just achin' for an ass
                      whoopin'.
            
            Gates takes a deep breath, then hurls the ball over the fence.
            
            Gates and Jose crouch behind the car ruins.
            
                                  JOSE (CONT'D)
                      When you start believing in ghosts?
            
                                    GATES
                      I don't.
            
                                  JOSE
                      Then what the hell we doin' out here?!
            
            THUMP.
            
            Gates aims the flashlight at the fence.
            
            The BASEBALL rolls through the light beam.
            
                                    JOSE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
                      Damn!
            
            Gates holds the ball to the light, slowly turning it, then
            stops.
            
            Another mysterious MESSAGE carved into the ball, "FoRE
            MiDNiGhT HurrY."
            
            EXT. BASEBALL FIELD - NIGHT
            
            Jose squeezes under the right field fence.
            
                                  JOSE
                          (whispering)
                      Dude, we die, and I ain't your best
                      friend no more.
            
            EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT
            
            Gates and Jose wander through a clearing littered with
            construction debris. Jose kisses his crucifix.
            
                                  GATES
                      Why you do that?
            
                                   JOSE
                      I dunno.   Good luck, I guess.
            
            Gates trains the flashlight on
            
            A FLATBED TRUCK, driver's door open, windshield shattered.
            
                                  JOSE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
                      Are those...?
            
            The light washes over a half-dozen CEMENT CRYPTS stacked on
            the truck's bed.
            
                                    GATES (O.S.)
                      I think so.
            
            Jose takes off.   Gates chases after him.
            
                                    GATES (CONT'D)
                      Wait!
            
            Jose freezes, face paralyzed with terror.
            
                                  DEEP MALE VOICE (O.S.)
                      Thank y'all for comin'.
            
            Standing before the boys, a GLOWING APPARITION of a large
            BLACK MAN (30's), haggard, dressed in rags.
            
            Jose pulls a knife from his pocket. Gates swallows hard.
            
                                  GATES
                      Who... What are you?
            
                                  APPARITION
                      Name's Aloysius Beadum the Third.
            
            He motions for the boys to follow him.
            
                                  ALOYSIUS BEADUM
                      C'mon, we ain't got much time.
            
                                  JOSE
                      What?! I ain't goin' in no woods at
                      night with some crazy old black--
            
            Gates elbows Jose.
            
                                  GATES
                      Where we goin'?
            
            The spirit points to a distant clearing with rows of shallow
            RECTANGULAR DEPRESSIONS carved in the weedy ground.
            
                                  JOSE
                      I knew it. Old creepy dude's gonna
                      bury us alive!
            
                                  GATES
                      Where's the gravestones?
            
                                    ALOYSIUS BEADUM
                      Ain't none.    This here's a potter's
                      field.
            
                                    JOSE
                      A what?
            
                                  ALOYSIUS BEADUM
                      When poor folks die back then, they
                      pack you in an ole crate. 'Fore
                      long the worms eat you and the wood.
                      And that dirt on top be like...
            
            He raises his hand, then slowly lowers it.
            
                                  ALOYSIUS BEADUM (CONT'D)
                      ... Ma'ma used to say, spirit risin',
                      as the bones be sinkin'.
            
                                  JOSE
                      Can we go home now?
            
            Gates points.
            
                                  GATES
                      What about those?
            
            Three freshly EXCAVATED GRAVES.
            
                                  ALOYSIUS BEADUM
                      Me, my wife, Winny... and our sweet
                      baby, Jezabelle. Dug us up and put
                      the bones in them stone boxes.
            
                                  JOSE
                      Why?
            
                                  ALOYSIUS BEADUM
                      Don't rightly know.
            
                                  GATES
                      They here with you?
            
                                  ALOYSIUS BEADUM
                      Yeah, but they's afraid to come out.
            
                                  GATES
                      Afraid of what?
            
            Aloysius walks to the edge of another excavated grave.
            
                                  ALOYSIUS BEADUM
                      Dead-eye Deacon. Evil as they come.
                      Killed my Jezabelle and three more
                      young'ins, 'fore they strung 'em up.
            
                                  JOSE
                      You tellin' me he's out here, too?!
            
            A somber nod from Aloysius.
            
            EXT. BLIGHTED URBAN STREET - NIGHT
            
            A GANGBANGER trails a HUNCHED MAN in a black leather
            trenchcoat and rumpled cowboy hat.
            
                                  GANGBANGER
                      Whassup cowboy, you lose your horse?
            
            Hunched Man continues to limp down the sidewalk.
            
            The street thug grabs the Hunched Man's shoulder.
            
                                  GANGBANGER (CONT'D)
                      I asks you a question, motherfu--
            
            The Hunched Man spins, whips his arm in a wide arc.  THWIP.
            
            Gangerbanger GURGLES, grabs his throat, BLOOD oozing between
            his fingers, fading eyes frozen on
            
            The gnarled, scowling face of DEAD-EYE DEACON.
            
            EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT
            
            Aloysius gazes up at a FULL MOON.
            
                                  ALOYSIUS BEADUM
                      Y'all gotta put them bones back 'fore
                      midnight, or ole Deacon gonna be
                      hauntin' these parts for all eternity.
            
            Gates checks his watch, then looks up.
            
                                  GATES
                      That's less than three minutes.
                      Ain't you gonna--
            
            Aloysius vanishes.
            
            MOMENTS LATER
            
            Lumpy BURLAP SACKS piled on the ground.
            
            Gates and Jose teeter on the edge of the truck bed, struggling
            to pry open a crypt with a dead tree branch. Gates reaches
            into the open crypt.
            
                                  JOSE
                      This is bullshit. How we s'posed to
                      know which one is that Deacon dude?
            
            As Gates pulls out a sack of RATTLING BONES, a LIGHTNING
            FLASH and LOUD THUNDER CLAP knocks the boys off the truck.
            
            Still clutching the bone bag, Gates crawls to his friend's
            side.
            
                                  GATES
                      You okay?
            
            Bleeding from a gash in his forehead, Jose nods.
            
                                     DARIOUS (O.S.)
                      Gates, help!
            
            Gates scrambles to his feet, whips around to see
            
            DARIOUS struggling to break from the clutches of Dead-eye
            Deacon. The murderous spirit holds a STRAIGHT RAZOR to the
            young boy's throat.
            
                                     GATES (O.S.)
                      Let him go!
            
                                  DEAD-EYE DEACON
                      I ain't got no plans for goin' back
                      to damnation, boy, so you best toss
                      me them bones.
            
            Gates judges the distance to the open grave.
            
                                  DEAD-EYE DEACON (CONT'D)
                      You move, and I bleed this youngin'
                      like a sucklin' pig.
            
                                  GATES
                      You promise to let him go if I do?
            
                                  DEAD-EYE DEACON
                      On your daddy's grave.
            
            Gates winds up and slings the sack of bones.
            
            Deacon snatches the bag, then yanks Darious's head back.
            
                                   GATES
                      Stop!   You promised to let him go.
            
            A toothless grin from the lecherous spirit.
            
                                  DEAD-EYE DEACON
                      Never trust a dead man, boy.
            
            Deacon presses the razor against Darious's neck, then suddenly
            SCREAMS, staggers backward, releasing the boy.
            
            Buried deep in Deacon's back, Jose's POCKETKNIFE with the
            CRUCIFIX CHAIN wrapped around the handle. Thick BLACK SMOKE
            spews from the wound.
            
            Jose steps from behind Deacon, his faced streaked with blood.
            
                                  JOSE
                      Hasta la vista, you evil sonofabitch.
            
            Deacon whirls, his eyes GLOWING BLOOD RED.
            
            A VINE drops from the trees and coils around Jose's neck,
            strangling him.
            
            Gates snatches the sack of bones from the ground and hurls
            it into the air.
            
            The bones hit the ground and bounce into Deacon's empty grave.
            
            The ghoulish psychopath falls to his knees, gouging his nails
            into the soil as he's dragged away.
            
                                    DEAD-EYE DEACON
                      Nooooo--
            
            Jose drops to the ground, gasping for breath as the vine
            loosen from his neck.
            
            Deacon's disintegrating body slithers into his grave.
            
            INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
            
            Gates pulls a blanket over his sleeping brother, then kneels
            beside his bed.
            
                                  GATES
                      Hey, dad. It's me. I finally got
                      my curve ball down.
            
            Tears streaming down his cheeks, he picks up the BASEBALL,
            now pristine, unblemished.
            
                                    GATES (CONT'D)
                      I miss you.
            
            [end]
            Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

              Code:
              MOTIVATION
              
              INT. PARKING BUILDING - DAWN
              
              SUPER: October 31, 2016
              
              A multi-level carpark building; first floor. BIRDSONG, dust
              motes drift in golden dawn sunlight, dusty cars and big
              spiderwebs. Windblown refuse, uncleaned for months.
              
              Three figures scurry out of a pried open glass door from a
              supermarket into the parking building. Each carries a bag of
              looted supplies in one hand, a weapon in the other.
              
              They're edgy and nervous. They make their way through the
              splashes of sunlight and wells of darkness created by the
              open sided building structure and the thick support pillars.
              
              CLOSE UP ON BAG - SIMULTANEOUS
              
              A bulging haversack slowly opens along a seam. Rotten thread
              RIPPING. Cans CLATTER across the concrete. A glass bottle
              SHATTERS. In the near silence, the sudden noise seems
              catastrophic.
              
              BOBBY looks down at the mess between his feet, then towards
              the entrance; aghast. Bobby is a middle aged biker, dressed
              in fatigues, covered in tattoos, hairy, and overweight.
              
                                     DENNY
                        OH CRAP!
              
              DENNY is British, think a shorter, squatter and infinitely
              tougher Jason Stratham and you wouldn't be far wrong. His
              bag of stores is secure beneath one arm, he carries a pistol
              in his other hand.
              
                                  EDGAR
                        Ess alright...
              
              EDGAR CARRANZA is a forty something Latino in the leading man
              model. Tall, toothy, good looking, tanned, all of that and
              more. Carefully he puts his groceries down so he can hold
              his shotgun with both hands.
              
                                     BOBBY
                        I think...
              
              A solitary GROAN echoes through the parking structure.
              Another answers it, and another.
              
                                  BOBBY (CONT'D)
                        That ain't good.
              
                                  EDGAR
                        Put down the food man. Quietly.
              
                                  BOBBY
                        We need it.
              
                                   EDGAR
                        No.   We need to f***ing run. Now!
              
                                  DENNY
                        Hold your horses, Mate. Wait...
              
              Denny carefully places his bag on the hood of a dusty Honda
              and points his Glock towards the groans. His empty hand
              motions his associates to keep down while he edges forward.
              
              He peers cautiously past a parked panel van...
              
              
              INT. POV. VEHICLE RAMP - CONTINUOUS
              
              The ramp down to the ground floor remains vacant.
              
              
              CLOSE UP - DENNY'S HAND
              
              It changes from keep still gesture and motions them
              forwards... carefully!
              
              
              INT. PARKING BUILDING WIDE - CONTINUOUS
              
              They creep towards the ramp. Super cautious now, ninja
              cautious. The GROANS and MOANS diminish. They seem further
              away.
              
                                  DENNY
                        Down to the street, then back to
                        the compound. Full speed.
              
                                  BOBBY
                        Our supplies...
              
                                  DENNY
                        F*** the food, Bobby. We'll try
                        again in a day or so.
              
              Bobby nods curtly, but stuffs five of six cans into his
              jacket pockets anyway.
              
              They edge to the lip of the descending vehicle ramp, weapons
              ready. Clear...
              
              Denny nods and leads the way.
              
              -- they're nearly halfway down when three zombies lurch
              around the corner.
              
              -- Denny doesn't hesitate, he aims, CRACK! A zombie staggers
              and spins, not a head-shot; it keeps going. One SHRIEKS,
              then another, the SHRIEKS are answered elsewhere.
              
              -- Edgar fires his pump action: BOOM, then Denny shoots
              again, CRACK!
              
                                     DENNY (CONT'D)
                           RUN!
              
              They do...
              
              -- the zombies follow, the shambling lurking gait swiftly
              morphs into an undead blitzkrieg of deadly speed.
              
              
              INT. PARKING BUILDING WIDE - CONTINUOUS
              
              The trio retreat, shooting wildly, splitting up almost
              immediately. Each has their own idea of safety. The last
              three months have proven each of them right.
              
              Behind them the three undead reach the floor, more spill into
              sight.
              
              Denny throws himself behind the Honda, grabs a can of food
              and tosses it past the undead. They all turn at the THUD of
              it hitting a car door and surge that way like pack animals.
              
                                     DENNY
                           Oldest trick...
              
              
              INT. STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS
              
              Denny enters the stairwell, closes the door, quietly.
              There's no way to lock it. He peeks back through the small
              vertical wire mesh embedded window at the parking floor.
              
              His friends have vanished.
              
              Zombies mill aimlessly about. With their prey gone they
              swiftly they revert to stumbling caricatures of humanity.
              Denny looks down the stairwell, to the basement, something
              moves down there. He bites his lip and looks upwards,
              decision made. He starts moving cautiously up the stairs.
              
              
              INT. STAIRWELL TOP FLOOR - MINUTES LATER
              
              The top floor door is locked. Denny pauses. He tries
              forcing it but it won't budge. He puts the muzzle of his
              pistol against the lock but a distant echoing MOAN stops him.
              
              Again he peers down the darkened stairs, nothing: yet!
              
              He silently mouths the word "F***!"  He waits, nothing.
              
              He sits against the wall, stares at the graffiti opposite,
              and waits. His pistol aimed at the top step.
              
              
              EXT. CITY STREET - TIMELAPSE
              
              The sun rises, shadows cast by city buildings slide down
              those across the street.
              
              Zombies walk the streets, slow moving lurching figures when
              they're not in pursuit. It seems there's nothing left to
              pursue. The city is nearly silent: dead.
              
              
              INT. STAIRWELL TOP FLOOR - MIDDAY
              
              Denny jerks fully awake. His pistol lays on the concrete
              floor beside him, he grabs it. He cocks his head uncertainly
              straining to hear -- did something wake him?
              
              He starts to relax - then there's a noise, a quiet footfall?
              
              -- he checks his pistol... licks his lips.
              
              -- more faint sounds... peers over the balustrade.
              -- nothing!   Glances at the locked door behind him.
              
                                  DENNY
                            (mutters)
                        S***! S***! S***! S***! S***! F***!
              
              -- another noise.   ...and another!   Another!
              
              The top of someone's head appears coming up the stairs...
              
                                   DENNY (CONT'D)
                        Bobby?
              
              It is... it was! Bobby's dead blank face turns to him at the
              sound of his name. There's no recognition, just a predator
              hearing prey.
              
              Behind the bloodied, freshly reanimated Bobby are a dozen
              other shambling wreaks of different vintages.
              
              Denny reacts instinctively. Pistol muzzle to the door lock:
              he shoots ...CRACK! A boot to the door. It CRASHES open
              revealing the roof top in brilliant midday sunlight.
              
              
              EXT. ROOF TOP - CONTINUOUS
              
              Denny emerges at a sprint. Racing down one side of the
              building; there's no escape. Across the next; zilch, the
              third wall is bare too, no fire escapes, nothing but six
              floors straight down to concrete pavement.
              
              Twenty zombies pour out onto the roof in full pursuit mode,
              insanely fast and aggressive but they can't do corners.
              
              Straight line running they manage, but corning is achieved by
              crashing into something, reorientating themselves and running
              again.
              
              Denny charges desperately to the final outside wall.   It's as
              bare and unforgiving as the others. He winces.
              
              CRACK! -- he shoots. A zombie staggers but it's not a kill
              shot. He shoots again, and again, then runs for the still
              open door. They're fast, vicious but none too smart and he's
              inadvertently lead them away from his exit.
              
              Denny lets out a REBEL YELL!
              
              
              INT. STAIRWELL TOP FLOOR - CONTINUOUS
              
              -- and runs straight into two late comers to the party!
              
              --CRACK! Denny gets a shot off. Useless. It sprays dead
              tissue and bone across the wall but its a gut-shot.
              -- the undead staggers but grips Denny's gun hand with it's
              own grey cold hand.
              
              -- cold dead blank eyes stare into Denny's.
              
              -- the other hand grasps at his jacket collar pulling him
              closer, broken blackened teeth snap inches from pale goose-
              fleshed skin. Denny cringes.
              
              -- other walking dead fill the door from the roof.
              
              -- Denny looks at his pistol, forces it around. CRACK!    A
              zombie falls away its cranium shattered.
              
              -- zombies groan and moan.   Force their way closer.
              CRACK! Denny fires again and the bullet passes within inches
              of a zombie head. He strains against the dead hands
              clutching his arm but can't get it around far enough.
              
              -- suddenly he pulls the pistol to his temple.
              
                                   DENNY
                         F*** YOUUUUUU!
              
              CLICK!   EMPTY!
              
              -- his expression of despair is absolute.   He surrenders!
              
              -- the dead rip into his flesh.
              
              He SCREAMS!
              
              
              INT. ZOMBIE VISION - SECONDS LATER
              
              Zombie vision is posterized: detail gone and smudged, it is
              jerky and there are frames missing. Suddenly time
              decelerates.
              
              The scream changes as Denny reanimates, and drops to broken
              sobbing, whimpering. Like that of a man who see's everything
              he held dear lost.
              
              Zombies surround him, no longer ravenous killers, not for him
              anyway. Most lumber way.
              
              Bobby's zombie body stands over him rocking slightly.   His
              dull eyes flicker, trying to focus - failing.
              
                                  BOBBY
                            (stand up Denny, move)
                        Arrgghhsj mmmubbbb dduhhhhhhhhh
              
              The zombies articulate simple groans, the dialog are ghostly
              whispers, not created by lips: a psychic connection.
              
              Denny tries to reply but can't form any words. Drunkenly he
              stands, smearing fresh blood on the wall. Fumbling fingers
              clutch his painless wounds seeking to close them. The last
              thing his living mind thought persisting.
              
                                   BOBBY (CONT'D)
                            (come)
                        Srraggggguuuu
              
              Bobby staggers away after the horde, Denny follows, like a
              lost soul; literally.
              
              
              INT. PARKING BUILDING - MINUTES LATER
              
              The horde staggers out of the stairwell. Denny and Bobby are
              in their midst, two of the fresher looking corpses.
              
                                  DENNY
                            (don't understand)
                        Weerrrarghhhhhh
              
              Bobby ignores him. He sniffs the air, part human, mostly
              not. Denny frowns and copies him. He cocks his head,
              confused.
              
                                  BOBBY
                            (fresh.)
                        Durggggg mmooooh
              
                                   DENNY
                            (no!   wrong!)
                        Oerrrrr
              
              Bobby walks away with a gesture that might mean `follow me'.
              Denny follows. The others follow in a loose group, out into
              the stark midday sunlight...
              
              
              EXT. CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS
              
              As they emerge a zombie starts sniffing. Slowly he turns...
              
              BOOM!
              
              Dust and tissue explodes, a shotgun blast takes off its head.
              
              
              EXT. ZOMBIE VISION - CONTINUOUS
              
              Edgar hunkers down beside the dumpster, his right leg bent
              under him - broken, unusable. In slow motion he cranks the
              shotgun and fires again. BOOM!
              
              
              EXT. CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS
              
              Instinctively Denny charges, progressing from shambling gait
              to Olympic sprint in five or six paces. He crashes into
              Edgar with three or four other undead, slamming the living
              man into the dumpster - knocking the wind from him.
              
              Fingers become talons, blunt teeth tear, blood gushes,
              Edgar's SCREAMS peak then cease.
              
                                  DENNY
                        Ahhhhhh   ahhhhhhh   ohhhhhhh -
                        aaarrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
              
              Could be a zombie groaning... but it ain't. This is pure one
              hundred percent ecstasy. It's a screaming, moaning, brain
              sucking, IQ squandering orgasm.
              
              Denny regains his feet; stands there, blinking, dazed. Bobby
              lurches in close, drapes a dead arm over Denny's shoulders.
              
                                  BOBBY
                            (intense eh,?)
                        Mauhhhhhhh dorggg aahhhhsrhhh
              
              Denny doesn't answer for moment. He just stands there with
              his mouth hanging open, gathering himself. His dull eyes
              absolutely lack focus.
              
                                  DENNY
                            (so f***ing intense!
                             Jesus wept!)
                        Borrrhhh nmiimmmmm asssssrrr
                            (like being fourteen
                             again. damn still going!
                             God I though my balls
                             were going to...)
                                  (MORE)
              
                                  DENNY (CONT'D)
                        huggghhhh spliiittttuhh
                            (i understand now, God I
                             want it again right now.
                             right ****ing now!)
                        dorpphhhh inktt gurrrrghttt
              
              Bobby's dead hands grip Denny's jaw and guides his gaze
              towards the dead body of their friend. Denny's lifeless face
              flinches at the sight of his friend ripped open and bloody.
              
                                  BOBBY
                            (you understand half)
                        Mnii argutt duhhhhhhh
              
              Edgar has been savaged. Tooth bitten, nail ripped, he's
              bloodied and broken - and very dead. For a moment.
              
              A bloody finger twitches. A leg trembles. Eyelid flutters.
              
                                     BOBBY (CONT'D)
                            (wait)
                        Slrrrrt
              
              Suddenly the body spasms, Edgar moans, blood and spittle
              dribbles from his mouth.
              
                                  BOBBY (CONT'D)
                            (wait, wait, wait)
                        Chrriiiic klg, muurgghhhh.
              
              Edgar spasms to full reanimation, spine arching, limbs
              beating the concrete.
              
                                  EDGAR
                            (child wailing being born)
                        Arrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaahhhrrrrh!
              
              Edgar lies there blinking, with each blink his eyes loose
              their life and become dull and lifeless.
              
                                  BOBBY
                            (...and that's it)
                        Argggg ohhhhhhhhh
              
              Edgar stares up at his friends in blank confusion. His
              fingers seek out the bloody torn wreckage of his throat.
              
              Denny turns slowly to Bobby. Comprehension comes slowly.
              
                                  BOBBY (CONT'D)
                            (Not back from the dead;
                             being born, brother.)
                        Ngarhhhhhhhh moooorh Buuurgggghh
              
                                                             FADE TO BLACK:
              Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

                Code:
                BEANS
                
                FADE IN:
                
                EXT. WOODS - DAY
                
                Four boys walk along a woodland trail. STEVE, the oldest,
                is in the lead. Following closely are LARRY and RICKY.
                The next oldest, KENNY, trails by several yards, throwing
                random sticks into the woods.
                
                Steve turns to the other boys as they come to a ridge
                overlooking the town of Monroe, Washington.
                
                                          STEVE
                              Don't get scared when we come to
                              the cemetery up here.
                
                                          LARRY
                              Why would we get scared?
                
                                          STEVE
                              Never heard of "Old Man Bean"?
                
                Larry turns to Ricky, who shakes his head.
                
                                          KENNY
                              Don't start, Steve. Old Man
                              Bean's just an old fart.
                
                                          RICKY
                              That's not scary.
                
                Steve affixes the younger boys with a serious stare.
                
                                          STEVE
                              They say he speaks to the dead.
                
                Kenny makes a fart sound, "Pffffttt".
                
                                          KENNY
                              My dad says he went crazy
                              when his kid was killed in a
                              car accident twenty years ago.
                
                Steve turns with a shrug.
                
                                          STEVE
                              Guess we'll see when we pass
                              his place.
                
                Steve points out a clearing about a hundred yards down the
                path. Headstones are visible from here.
                
                Steve continues to walk while Ricky and Larry stare down
                the path. Kenny catches up to the younger boys.
                
                                          KENNY
                              It's nothing. You'll see.
                
                EXT. CEMETERY - DAY
                
                The cemetery has largely been overtaken by the surrounding
                woods. A small cabin sits adjacent and is the only sign
                that the cemetery has not been long forgotten.
                
                The overgrowth provides an unnatural darkness even during
                the day. The area is eerily quiet.
                
                The path takes the boys to within thirty yards of the
                cabin. The pace of the boys slows considerably
                
                                          STEVE
                              See the garden? The only thing
                              he grows is beans. Hundreds
                              of `em.
                
                                          KENNY
                              They are the magical fruit.
                
                Kenny lets loose another fart sound, "Pffttt."  Steve
                continues to focus on the cabin.
                
                                          STEVE
                              You think it's funny, maybe we
                              should come back and watch him
                              harvest his beans.
                
                Kenny's good mood is shaken.
                
                                          KENNY
                              Shut up.
                
                                          STEVE
                              He's not home now. Rusty ol'
                              truck isn't there.
                
                Steve turns to face the other boys.
                
                                          STEVE
                                    (continuing)
                              I say we meet here tomorrow night
                              and see just how crazy he is.
                
                Kenny is taken aback. Ricky tries to make himself smaller
                to avoid answering.
                
                                             LARRY
                              I'm in. I want to see.
                
                Kenny and Ricky have no choice. The gauntlet has been
                thrown down.
                
                                             RICKY
                              Okay. Tomorrow night?
                
                Kenny nods. The boys all turn toward the cabin and
                contemplate the choice they've just made.
                
                EXT. CEMETARY - DUSK
                
                The last light is straining through the trees as Ricky
                makes his way down the path. He arrives to see the other
                three boys already hunkered down off the path.
                
                                          LARRY
                              Thought you were going to chicken
                              out.
                
                                          RICKY
                              No. I had to tell my mom I was
                              spending the night at your house.
                
                Steve and Kenny sit closer to the cabin than the other two.
                Both older boys are watching closely.
                
                In front of the cabin, a beat-up, old truck is parked.
                
                                            STEVE
                              He's home. I saw him inside.
                
                The sound of an old door opening snaps them to attention.
                As they peer through the bushes on the path, they see OLD
                MAN BEAN exit the cabin. He is even more crazy-looking
                than they could have imagined.
                
                The old man steps up to a gate between his little shack and
                the cemetery. He opens the gate and looks around. After a
                moment, he tilts his head back and raises his hand, placing
                something in his mouth.
                
                                          LARRY
                              What was that?
                
                                           KENNY
                              A bean.
                
                The old man drops to his knees and his head hits his chest.
                He is completely motionless. Ricky starts to worry that
                they may need to call an ambulance when, suddenly, the old
                man rises to his feet and begins talking.
                
                The boys are too far away to hear what the old man is
                saying. In one moment, he is laughing then in another,
                crying. He makes flailing gestures into the cemetery and
                speaks to the air.
                
                None of the boys dare move for fear of getting his
                attention.
                
                After just a few minutes, the old man drops back to his
                knees and puts his head in his hands. A few more moments
                and he rises to his feet and shambles back into the cabin.
                
                                           LARRY
                              Holy s***.
                
                                           STEVE
                              Right?
                
                                          RICKY
                              What happened to him?
                
                Kenny continues to stare at the cabin.
                
                                          KENNY
                              Magic beans.
                
                Kenny turns to see the other boys staring at him.
                
                                          KENNY
                                    (continuing)
                              What? It's not funny.
                
                Ricky turns to leave.
                
                                          RICKY
                              I'm out of here.
                
                Steve calls him back.
                
                                          STEVE
                              We have to try those beans.
                
                The other three stare at him.
                
                                          KENNY
                              You're an idiot.
                
                                          STEVE
                              Don't you want to know?
                
                                            RICKY
                              I don't.
                
                                             LARRY
                              I do. I'm in.
                
                Steve turns back to the cabin.
                
                                          STEVE
                              Dude always leaves for two days
                              at the end of the month. That's
                              this Friday. Meet here.
                
                He turns to the other boys.
                
                                          STEVE
                                    (continuing)
                              If not, we'll know you're scared.
                
                EXT. CEMETARY - NIGHT
                
                Steve, Kenny and Larry approach the cabin. The old truck
                is nowhere to be seen. After watching to make sure it's
                clear, the three move forward. As they enter, Ricky
                appears on the edge of the path, running late. He stops in
                the bushes to watch.
                
                INT. CABIN - NIGHT
                
                The one-room cabin is in pitiful shape. There is a ragged
                old bed and a small stove. It is hard to imagine a person
                living here. Opposite the front door is a fancy shelf. On
                the shelf, there are four beans.
                
                The beans are like none that the boys have ever seen. Each
                of the three palms one of the beans.
                
                                          STEVE
                              Outside.
                
                EXT. CABIN - NIGHT
                
                Ricky watches the boys exit the far side of the cabin. He
                starts to move forward but fear keeps him in place.
                
                The boys look at each other. Steve grins then throws a
                bean in his mouth, staring at Larry and Kenny the whole
                time. The other boys have no choice but to follow suit.
                The three stare off into the cemetery, waiting.
                
                Suddenly, Larry becomes aware of a TRANSLUCENT MAN standing
                next to him.
                
                                          TRANSLUCENT MAN
                              Have you seen my nanny?
                
                Larry turns quickly toward Kenny and sees two wisps rise
                between them. The wisps take the form of two little girls.
                One faces Larry and one faces Kenny.
                
                                          GHOST TWINS
                              Do you want to play?
                
                Steven lets out a scream as a LARGE GHOST approaches.
                
                                          LARGE GHOST
                              What are you doing here?
                
                Steven turns and finds himself face to face with the
                translucent man.
                
                                          TRANSLUCENT MAN
                              Have you seen my nanny?
                
                Other ghosts are rising from the dirt and moving towards
                the frightened boys.
                
                Ricky watches, horrified as his friends cower in fear from
                nothing he can see. He sees the beat up truck coming down
                the dirt road and runs to meet it.
                
                                           RICKY
                              Mister. Mister. My friends.
                
                Ricky points frantically at the boys cowering in the old
                man's back yard. Old Man Bean sees and immediately jumps
                out of the truck after turning it off.
                
                                            OLD MAN BEAN
                              Damn fools.
                
                The old man runs, limping into his cabin, followed by
                Ricky. He goes to the shelf and grabs the last bean.
                Without stopping he runs out back to the three boys and
                swallows the bean.
                
                After a moment, he gestures to air around him.
                
                                          OLD MAN BEAN
                              You all go on back.
                
                The frightened boys watch as the ghosts stop and listen to
                the old man.
                
                                          OLD MAN BEAN
                                    (continuing)
                              These idiots can't help you.
                
                A few of the ghosts vanish. Others remain, fixed on the
                old man.
                
                                          OLD MAN BEAN
                                    (continuing)
                              Go on back to rest. I'm working
                              on finding a way for you all.
                
                Seemingly satisfied, the ghosts all begin to fade back into
                the ground. All but one. The ghost of a small boy
                approaches the old man.
                
                                          BOY GHOST
                              Why are they here, daddy?
                
                The old man drops down to a knee to look his son in the
                eyes.
                
                                          OLD MAN BEAN
                              They didn't know any better.
                
                The small ghost addresses the frightened boys.
                
                                          BOY GHOST
                              It's okay now. They're back
                              in their resting places.
                
                The old man points towards the cabin.
                
                                          OLD MAN BEAN
                              It's safe in there. The spell
                              will wear off in a few minutes.
                
                The three boys huddle together and go inside. The old man
                turns to his son.
                
                                          OLD MAN BEAN
                              I haven't been able to find the
                              beans again. I'm afraid I'm all
                              out now.
                
                The small ghost comes forward in an attempt to hug his
                father.
                
                                          BOY GHOST
                              It's okay, daddy. I'll be waiting
                              for you here.
                
                                                                    FADE OUT.
                
                                          THE END
                Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

                  Code:
                  DOUGHBOY
                  
                  EXT. BLEAK HILLSIDE - DAY
                  
                  A steep incline, built from torn edges. Dirty light from a
                  brown sky. A train track cuts a line to the horizon.
                  
                  Clinging to the side is a house - small, battered, the
                  colour of dirt. Lights flicker in the windows and smoke
                  billows from a tottering chimney.
                  
                  A TRAIN ROARS past, shaking the house, the sound taking us -
                  
                  INT. KITCHEN - DAY
                  
                  - where the muffled rattle of train-tracks competes with
                  shaking crockery and creaking floorboards.
                  
                  Steam hugs the ceiling, and much like the outside every part
                  of the kitchen looks about ready to fall apart. At the
                  stove, a plump woman stirs and potters. MOTHER.
                  
                  At the table sits BOY - about 10, plump and round - easily
                  20 stone. He watches the mother, excited and hungry.
                  
                  The fug of steam makes every surface glisten, giving the
                  whole room a sticky organic quality.
                  
                  Mother looks over to the boy and smiles. She chops away -
                  then stops. Glances down at the table -
                  
                  - where she sees the top inch of her finger sliced into
                  discs, sat amongst the chopped vegetables. There's no blood
                  - each slice of finger is neat, like chilled butter.
                  
                  She smiles - 'silly me' - then uses the knife to knock the
                  slices - fingers and all - into a bubbling pot.
                  
                  Unseen by us, she fidgets with her hands -
                  
                  Boy watches, his mind still on the food, hands bouncing on
                  the table in anticipation.
                  
                  Mother turns and reaches for the pot - her hand is sort-of
                  back to normal, only the fingers look a little stretched and
                  thin.
                  
                                        MOTHER
                            Hungry?
                  
                                        BOY
                            Hmmm! Always hungry!
                  
                  She reaches over and squeezes his shoulder -
                  
                                        MOTHER
                            That's because you're my growing
                            boy!
                  
                  One last check of the pots, then she looks to the bowing
                  ceiling -
                  
                                           MOTHER
                            DINNER!
                  
                  INT. GIRL'S ROOM - DAY
                  
                  Like the rest of the house, it's mangled and ill-formed,
                  walls barely standing, every angle off by a few degrees.
                  However some effort's been made to prettify it; dried
                  flowers hang from the walls, drawings of open spaces and
                  clear air - dreams.
                  
                  Sat on a bed is GIRL. Mid-teens, as lean as Boy is fat, she
                  reads through a scrapbook, its pages filled with images of
                  beaches, woods, people, cities - all torn from magazines,
                  all completely at odds with this world.
                  
                                           MOTHER (O.S.)
                            Dinner! Now!
                  
                  Girl sighs. Carefully closes the book and slides it under
                  her pillow.
                  
                  EXT. BLEAK HILLSIDE - NIGHT
                  
                  Rain drives against the hillside in great waves. The distant
                  chug of a train like a heartbeat edging toward death.
                  
                  INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                  
                  The clatter of cutlery against porcelain, but overlaid with
                  sticky gelatinous sounds, chewing, slicing, pulling.
                  
                  Boy and Mother sit close, whilst Girl keeps a little
                  distance; her gentle prods at dinner in contrast with their
                  enthusiastic gobbling.
                  
                                        MOTHER
                            I have to go to town tomorrow.
                  
                                           GIRL
                            Can I come?
                  
                                        MOTHER
                            No dear. You have to stay at home -
                                  (looks to Boy)
                            Take care of things here.
                  
                                        GIRL
                            He's fine on his own. I want to see
                            the town, I want -
                  
                                        MOTHER
                            I want doesn't get. And you will
                            see the town, when you're ready.
                                        BOY
                            Don't like her. She can't cook.
                  
                  The Girl sticks her tongue out.
                  
                                          MOTHER
                              That's not nice. And you behave.
                              I'll leave some food for you, all
                              she'll have to do is heat it up.
                  
                                          GIRL
                              She? I am here. And I can cook.
                              Just not in bulk.
                  
                  Boy looks at her with a cold contempt beyond his years.
                  
                                          GIRL
                              I'll be in my room.
                  
                                          MOTHER
                              But you've hardly -
                  
                  She's gone.
                  
                  Mother and Boy exchange a look - then Mother smiles.
                  
                                          MOTHER
                              Go on.
                  
                  Boy takes Girl's plate and shovels the viscera-like meal
                  onto his own.
                  
                  INT. LANDING - NIGHT
                  
                  Girl reaches the top of the stairs, heads to a door - then
                  pauses. Looks to another door, one with a hand-painted sign
                  - 'BOY' - in elaborate Victorian-circus font.
                  
                  She holds her breath, listens -
                  
                  The distant sound of eating from downstairs, still going
                  strong -
                  
                  She carefully steps to the door, gently pushes -
                  
                  It opens.
                  
                  One last look around. Then she goes in.
                  
                  INT. BOY'S ROOM - NIGHT
                  
                  Girl looks around.
                  
                  The walls are covered in Victorian-era circus posters. Dim
                  lights cast sickly-coloured shadows.
                  
                  On a gaudy dressing table, Girl sees several lumps in a
                  circle around a lit tea-light. She looks closer -
                  sees they are plasticine figures - awkward, misshapen, lumpy
                  - freakishly ugly, yet vaguely human. All look in on the
                  simple fire.
                  
                  Girl inhales, spooked. She looks away, to the posters -
                  
                  All advertise THE AMAZING RUBBER MAN. Pictures show a
                  muscular man seemingly stretching his limbs, twisting his
                  neck into freakish angles, tying his fingers together into
                  tight knots.
                  
                  Girl gently shakes her head - she goes to leave -
                  
                  Stops.
                  
                  Frozen.
                  
                  On the dresser, the lumpen figures are all now staring at
                  her. Their disfigured faces meeting hers.
                  
                  She stares back, trembling.
                  
                  Reaches out slowly - flinches - expecting a reaction.
                  
                  There is none. The figures don't move.
                  
                  She grabs one, squishes it violently in her fist. The
                  plasticine oozes between her fingers.
                  
                  Takes another, pulls it apart. Hammers down on the others.
                  
                  Soon all that's left is a mass of mangled plasticine.
                  
                  She breathes hard. Exertion mixed with fear.
                  
                  She rushes out the door.
                  
                  EXT. BLEAK HILLSIDE - DAY
                  
                  A murky sun rises in the distance. Mother emerges from the
                  battered door of the house, adjusting her scarves against
                  the bitter gales.
                  
                  A train BLASTS past, the noise deafening. Mother doesn't
                  react, instead looks back at the house, at an upstairs
                  window. Smiles, with a hint of nerves.
                  
                  She sets off, her tiny hunched figure dwarved by the hill.
                  
                  INT. BOY'S ROOM - DAY
                  
                  Boy sits at the dresser. The plasticine figures are back -
                  perhaps not exactly as yesterday, their bodies so ill-formed
                  it's hard to tell.
                  
                  Boy chatters to them in some low tone - we cut between him
                  and the figures - with each cut, the figures' expressions
                  change, as if reacting to him, but we never actually see
                  them move.
                  
                  Suddenly we cut to one frozen in panic.
                  
                  Boy sees this - spins to find -
                  
                  Girl. In the doorway. Looking at the freakish scene with
                  disgust.
                  
                                        BOY
                            Leave us alone.
                  
                  She smiles. Malevolent.
                  
                                          GIRL
                            Oh. Okay.
                  
                  She pulls the door shut - the sound of a lock -
                  
                                        BOY
                            Wait! What are you -
                  
                  The sound of her rushing downstairs -
                  
                                          BOY
                            Come back!
                  
                  INT. KITCHEN - DAY
                  
                  Girl takes a few breaths, calms herself. Looks around.
                  Smiles.
                  
                  She takes a large pan from the wall and sparks up the
                  cooker. Takes some thick slices of bacon and slaps them on
                  the pan.
                  
                  They slowly to start to sizzle - thick, fatty smoke rises -
                  
                  Up -
                  
                  Up - through the ramshackle ceiling -
                  
                  Into floorboards - into -
                  
                  INT. BOY'S ROOM - DAY
                  
                  Where Boy - already getting anxious - inhales deeply -
                  
                  INT. KITCHEN - DAY
                  
                  Girl lifts the cooked bacon and flicks it into a bin - adds
                  fresh rashers and starts the torture again -
                  
                  INT. BOY'S ROOM - DAY
                  
                  Boy is clutching his stomach, manic - pacing around -
                  
                                        BOY
                            Hungry. Hungry. Hungry.
                                  (screams)
                            HUNGRY! HUNGRY!
                  
                  INT. KITCHEN - DAY
                  
                  Girl looks up, hearing the muffled shouts. And smiles.
                  
                  INT. BOY'S ROOM - DAY
                  
                  Boy is scratching at the door, the floorboards, like a
                  trapped animal -
                  
                  He looks up, as if called -
                  
                  ON THE DRESSER -
                  
                  Two of the lumpen figures stand, their arms open, as if
                  offering something -
                  
                  Boy looks -
                  
                  At their feet, the other plasticine figures have transformed
                  into thick slices of bacon. Streaked with different colours,
                  crudely formed.
                  
                  Boy smiles.
                  
                  He takes one of the slices, peeling it from the surface, and
                  starts the eat, his stomach growling as he chews through the
                  chalky dough.
                  
                  EXT. BLEAK HILLSIDE - NIGHT
                  
                  A slow train, like a steam-powered slug, chugs past the
                  house, its glowing windows casting jagged, menacing shadows
                  across the hillside.
                  
                  INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                  
                  The family sit around the table. As before, a massive meal
                  is spread before them - Boy piles some glistening gloop onto
                  his plate.
                  
                  Mother smiles proudly, then turns to Girl.
                  
                  Girl sits still, staring down at the table. There's
                  something odd, different about her. Her face isn't quite...
                  right -
                  
                                        MOTHER
                            Eat up love. There's plenty.
                  
                  Girl doesn't move.
                  
                  Boy smiles.
                  
                                        MOTHER
                            This'll be all that bacon you had
                            earlier, greedy Girl. Have a bit of
                            soup.
                  
                  Her mouth opens slowly. Unnaturally.
                  
                                           MOTHER
                            Dear? Dear -
                  
                  She touches Girl's hand and recoils -
                  
                  A quick look to Boy, still smiling -
                  
                  Mother reaches to Girl's face, cupping it -
                  
                  Girl's face bends at her touch. The jaw begins to stretch,
                  like plasticine, eventually breaking off and falling onto
                  the table -
                  
                                         MOTHER
                             What have you - where is she?
                  
                  Boy just grins, food dribbling from the corners of his
                  mouth.
                  
                                         MOTHER
                             WHERE IS SHE!
                  
                                         BOY
                             Having a lie down.
                  
                  She pushes past the monstrous life-size model of Girl and
                  rushes to the stairs -
                  
                  INT. LANDING - NIGHT
                  
                  Mother hurries to Girl's door, the thunderous chugging of a
                  distant train like a chorus of groans and screams -
                  
                  INT. GIRL'S ROOM - NIGHT
                  
                  Mother tosses the door open, switches on the light -
                  
                  The room is neat. Tidy. Nothing worrying -
                  
                  Mother looks to the bed -
                  
                  Where Girl lies, under the covers, her head on the pillow.
                  
                  She sees Mother. Her mouth slowly opens -
                  
                                         GIRL
                             My. My. My legs. Legs. Legs hurt.
                  
                  Mother goes to her, slows - nervous -
                  
                  Pulls back the covers -
                  
                  Recoils.
                  
                  Girl's body is spread across the bed. Pulled. Mashed.
                  Ripped. Trampled.
                  
                  The same doughy substance that they're all made of, smeared
                  over the mattress.
                  
                  A stretched, malformed finger moves, connected to what was
                  once a hand. A balled lump creaks sideways, revealing a
                  couple of misshapen toes.
                  
                  The whole scene is horribly reminiscent of the plasticine
                  figures demolished by Girl.
                  
                                          MOTHER
                              What's he done to you? What's he
                              done? What's he done!
                  
                  She starts pulling at the doughy body, trying to figure out
                  what's what - but it's hopeless -
                  
                                          MOTHER
                              WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU
                              DONE!
                  
                  INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                  
                  Boy eats, face rippling with a monstrous laugh.
                  
                  INT. BOY'S ROOM - NIGHT
                  
                  The room, as before.
                  
                  Over on the dresser, the plasticine figures sit in a circle
                  as seen originally.
                  
                  We see a series of close ups of their faces -
                  
                  Their disfigured features smiling.
                  
                  Grinning.
                  
                  Laughing.
                  
                  All the while the sound of Mother's screams, the train, the
                  wind, the creaking shell of a house, Boy's laughter - all
                  build, build, until we can't take any more - until -
                  
                  BLACK:
                  
                                          THE END
                  Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

                    Code:
                    STEVE
                    
                    FADE IN:
                    
                    INT. KITCHEN - MORNING
                    
                    STEVE, a German Shephard, sits on his haunches, wags his
                    tail as he waits for MAN to give him his treat.
                    
                    Man pulls out what looks to be some kind of beef jerky out
                    of a Ziploc bag.
                    
                                           MAN
                               Wait for it...
                    
                                           STEVE (V.O.)
                               Oh, good Christ. What the hell do
                               you think I'm doing?
                    
                    Man smiles.
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                               C'mon. While we're young.
                    
                    Man throws the treat up in the air.
                    
                    Steve jumps up, expertly snatches it out in mid-air.
                    
                                             MAN
                               Good boy!
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.)
                               Well, yeah.
                    
                    As Steve munches on his treat, Man nuzzles and pets Steve.
                    
                                           MAN
                               Alrighty...Gotta get to work. And
                               we're almost out of treats so I'll
                               stop and pick some up on the way
                               home. I might be a little late
                               tonight.
                    
                    Man heads towards the door at the end of the kitchen, leads
                    to the garage.
                    
                    Steve watches him go.
                    
                    Man puts a hand on the door, turns to Steve, points a finger
                    at him.
                    
                                           MAN (CONT'D)
                               And stay off the couch. I just had
                               the damn thing cleaned.
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.)
                               Dude.    That was so not me.
                    
                    Man disappears into the garage.
                    
                    Steve heads towards the door, listens as the garage door
                    OPENS.
                    
                    Sits down in front of the door.
                    
                    Car STARTS.  ENGINE NOISE retreats.  Garage door CLOSES.
                    
                    Steve stands, tail wagging, and heads out of the kitchen.
                    
                                            STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              Okey dokey. Nothing but Steve time
                              now.
                    
                    LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                    
                    Steve sleeps on the couch.
                    
                    HUM of the garage door opening.
                    
                    Steve snaps awake instantly. Bounds off the couch, into
                    
                    KITCHEN
                    
                    Tail wags furiously; can barely hold his excitement as he
                    stands in front of the door to the garage.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.)
                              About f***ing time! I'm starving!
                    
                    Garage door CLOSES.
                    
                    Car door opens and SHUTS.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              C'mon, c'mon!
                    
                    Car trunk SLAMS SHUT.
                    
                    The door opens and Man walks in...with a WOMAN over his
                    shoulder. Blood drips onto the floor.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              Hey, company!
                    
                                          MAN
                              Watch out, Steve. Move, please.
                    
                    Man gently nudges Steve out of the way, heads towards another
                    door on the other side of the kitchen.
                    
                                           STEVE (V.O.)
                               You've been out catting around again,
                               haven't you? I'm starving and you're
                               out having a good time.
                    
                    Man opens the door, switches on the light, and heads into
                    the basement, Woman still over his shoulder.
                    
                    Steve follows.
                    
                    BASEMENT
                    
                    Man brings Woman to the far wall, chains her up to a
                    bloodstained wall.
                    
                    Stands back and looks at her. She's got two bruised eyes
                    from the broken nose, and her blouse is torn.
                    
                    Steve sniffs her.
                    
                                           STEVE (V.O.)
                               Ugh. She owns a cat. Do all the
                               women you bring over own cats?
                    
                    Man goes to Woman, squats down, and brushes the hair away
                    from her face. He's gentle, almost reverential.
                    
                                           MAN
                               She put up quite a fight.
                    
                    Steve gets right in front of Man. He pets Steve.
                    
                                           STEVE (V.O.)
                               You gonna feed me now, or what? I'm
                               famished.
                    
                                           MAN
                               Yes, she did. She has moxie.
                    
                    He looks at Steve. Kisses him on the snout.
                    
                                           MAN (CONT'D)
                               She scratched me. See?
                    
                    Shows Steve the two scratches on his cheek.
                    
                                           MAN (CONT'D)
                               Strong, too. I thought she was out
                               the first time I hit her, but...
                    
                    He looks at her again. Another smile.
                    
                                           MAN (CONT'D)
                               This one will be fun.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.)
                              I don't care 'cause I'm about to
                              perish.
                    
                    Man stands, grabs duct tape from a workbench, and tapes
                    Woman's mouth.
                    
                    She begins to stir.
                    
                    Woman's eyes fly open, as if she remembers what happened to
                    her.
                    
                    Man backs away and smiles at her. Steve sniffs at her again.
                    
                    She struggles and kicks.
                    
                    Steve jumps away with a YELP.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              Hey, that wasn't nice--
                    
                    MUFFLED SCREAMS!  More rage than terror.
                    
                    Steve BARKS at her.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              Shut the f*** up!
                    
                    Man and Steve leave the still violently struggling Woman
                    behind as they walk up the stairs.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              F***ing cat people. They're all the
                              same.
                    
                    The lights go out.
                    
                    KITCHEN
                    
                    Steve gorges himself on dog food. The bowl skids across the
                    floor as he licks it clean.
                    
                    Steve plops down. Heavy, satisfied sigh.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.)
                              That hit the spot. I'm so full, I
                              don't think I could--
                    
                    Man opens a cabinet, pulls that baggy of what looks like
                    beef jerky out again.
                    
                                             MAN
                              Wanna treat?
                    
                                            STEVE (V.O.)
                                Oh, f*** yeah!
                    
                    Steve does his happy dance and Man gives him the last treat.
                    
                    Man goes to the basement door, puts a hand on the knob.
                    
                                            MAN
                                Good boy. Ok, I'm going to make us
                                some more treats, and when I'm done
                                we'll go for a walk. How's that
                                sound?
                    
                                            STEVE (V.O.)
                                I can barely move, but, hey, whatever
                                floats your boat.
                    
                    Man smiles, gives Steve a hug and disappears into the
                    basement. Steve hears the lock CLICK into place, sniffs the
                    door once or twice, and heads out of the kitchen.
                    
                    LIVING ROOM - LATER
                    
                    Steve sleeps. His leg twitches, like he's chasing rabbits
                    in his dreams.
                    
                    All of a sudden, he's fully alert: head up. Listening.
                    
                    We don't hear anything.
                    
                    Lowers his snout back onto his paws. Closes his eyes.
                    
                    MUFFLED YELL! from the basement.
                    
                    Steve snaps to attention.
                    
                    A SCREAM!
                    
                                            STEVE (V.O.)
                                What the f***?
                    
                    CRASH! Sounds of a fight in the basement.
                    
                    Steve jumps down from the couch, races into
                    
                    KITCHEN
                    
                    Stands in front of the basement door.
                    
                    Sniffs.
                    
                    WHAM! Something hits the door hard.
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.)
                                Christ!   Hey, what's going--
                    
                    WHAM!
                    
                    Steve WHINES.
                    
                    WHAM!
                    
                    The WHINE turns to a GROWL.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              You better not come--
                    
                    WHAM! The door BURSTS open, the door jamb splintering, and
                    with a SCREAM of rage and fear, Woman tumbles onto the kitchen
                    floor.
                    
                    She gets to her knees, half-naked, bruised and bloody, eyes
                    darting around... A PHONE!
                    
                    She stands...
                    
                    Steve's GROWLS grow in volume and menace.
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              Where is he? What'd you do to him?
                    
                    And she freezes.
                    
                                             WOMAN
                              Nice doggie.
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.)
                              ANSWER ME!
                    
                    Steve takes a step forward.
                    
                    Woman holds her ground. Puts a hand out.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              Shhh... Nice dog. You're a good dog,
                              right? You're a good--
                    
                    Man TACKLES her to the ground.
                    
                                            STEVE (V.O.)
                              YEAH! That's what I'm talking about!
                    
                    Man and Woman separate, as they both get shakily to their
                    feet.
                    
                    Man holds a knife in one hand. Blood drips down from a wound
                    in his head. He wipes the blood out of his eyes with broken
                    fingers.
                    
                    He sways a little and shakes his head, as if to clear it.
                    Blood spatters in all directions.
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                                 Don't blame this mess on me.
                    
                    Suddenly, she spins, plants a roundhouse kick right to his
                    head.
                    
                    Man drops as if shot.
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                                 You f***ing bitch!
                    
                    With a SNARL, Steve leaps at Woman and they both go crashing
                    to the floor.
                    
                    He CHOMPS down on her arm.
                    
                    She SCREAMS!
                    
                    And rolls on top of Steve.
                    
                    She PUNCHES him in the ribs with her free hand once twice
                    three times...Steve won't let go.
                    
                    As they struggle, Man comes to.
                    
                    He sees what's happening, slowly gets to his feet, advances--
                    
                    Steve's starting to lose his grip on the torn forearm of
                    Woman.
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                                 A little help here!
                    
                    Man raises the knife to put in her back--
                    
                    Barely turning around, she kicks out straight out with her
                    left leg--
                    
                    POP!   Man's left knee shatters.   He SCREAMS!
                    
                                             STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                                 I'm not letting go, bitch! I'm not--
                    
                    She picks up Steve by his legs, his belly facing the ceiling,
                    and SLAMS him down onto her knee, like she's snapping a
                    baseball bat.
                    
                    CRACK!!!!!
                    
                    Steve YOWLS!
                    
                                             MAN
                                 STEVE!!
                    
                    Man crawls to Steve. Woman's completely ignored.
                    
                    He cradles Steve in his arms. Tears mix with the blood on
                    his face.
                    
                                             MAN (CONT'D)
                              Steve...
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.)
                              I can't feel my legs...
                    
                                          MAN
                              What did she do to you?
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.)
                              We had a good run, didn't we?
                    
                                             MAN
                              Oh, Steve...
                    
                    He turns to Woman, hate in his eyes.
                    
                                          MAN (CONT'D)
                              I'm going to--
                    
                    She SLAMS him in the head with a toaster oven.
                    
                    Steve barely notices Woman leaving the kitchen as he nudges
                    Man, gently licks his face.
                    
                    Man's eyes are open and staring. Dead.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.)
                              It'll be alright...we'll still be
                              together...
                    
                    Steve nestles his head under Man's chin.
                    
                                          STEVE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                              ...and we'll go for our walk when we
                              get there.
                    
                    And closes his eyes.
                    
                                                                       FADE OUT
                    Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

                      Code:
                      THE DEAD WATCHERS
                      
                      EXT. BOPPIN' BURGER - NIGHT
                      
                      An empty parking lot, brightened by neon green lights glowing
                      from a Boppin' Burger fast food joint. Looks radioactive.
                      
                                          TEENAGE BOY #1
                                Telling you, man... They're like
                                zombies, but they talk and stuff.
                      
                                          TEENAGE BOY #2
                                I call bullsh**.
                      
                      
                      INT. BOPPIN' BURGER - SAME
                      
                      Empty tables, save for an obscure top hat wearing PATRON
                      nestled in a corner, reading a newspaper. Three teenaged boys
                      hover around a cash register. Meet the Boppin' Burger third
                      shift (overnight):
                      
                      LUKE, the first voice we heard, aspires to work for TMZ. He
                      has red hair to match his red, pimply face.
                      
                                          TEENAGE BOY #1/LUKE
                                Hey you don't have to believe me,
                                but if you wake up one morning with
                                some half-dead dude munching on
                                your schlong, don't say I didn't
                                warn you.
                      
                      BRETT, a large, athletic meathead, could easily be captain of
                      a high school football team. Here, he's simply in charge of
                      the fryers.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                Zeke's already got dudes munching
                                on his schlong!
                      
                      ZEKE, wiry, introverted, forgettable, takes the diss in
                      stride...
                      
                                          TEENAGE BOY #2/ZEKE
                                Should be a comedian, Brett. I
                                think I laughed in my mouth.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                No, but seriously, Luke, that
                                sh**'s only in the movies.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                It was. Until now.
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                Can we change the subject, please?
                      
                                          BRETT
                                Awww, is somebody scared?
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                Just not interested.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                I didn't even tell you guys the
                                whole story.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                Wait, there's more?
                      
                                            LUKE
                                Uh huh.
                      
                      Zeke SIGHS.
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                There's always more.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                Mary Ann said Gabby told her that
                                she heard from Ben--
                      
                                            ZEKE
                                Oh god.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                That there's like this elite force
                                out there, specifically trained to
                                kill these guys.
                      
                                            BRETT
                                No way.
                                          LUKE
                                Yep, called The Dead Watchers, or
                                something like that. And you could
                                be in the same room with one and
                                never even know it.
                      
                                            ZEKE
                                I'm sure.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                Are you, Zeke? Are you sure? `Cause
                                for all I know you could secretly
                                be one.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                I'd eat a whole case of fries if
                                that was true. Frozen.
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                I'd pay to see that.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                You could be one too, Brett.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                Dammit. My cover's blown.
                      
                      Luke whispers...
                      
                                          LUKE
                                Or maybe that weirdo sitting over
                                there in the corner?
                      
                      Heads turn; curious eyes fall onto the patron.
                      
                                          LUKE (CONT'D)
                                Who reads newspapers at three in
                                the morning anyway?
                      
                                          BRETT
                                Old people. They wake up like super
                                early.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                You know what? I'm putting it out
                                there... Twenty dollars says that
                                squatter's a Dead Watcher.
                      
                      A moment of silence, as we slowly push in on the obscure
                      figure, top hat rising above the newspaper.
                      
                                          BRETT (O.S.)
                                MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!
                      
                      BACK AT THE COUNTER
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                Geez, Brett!
                      
                                          MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
                                Guys, quit horsing around out
                                there!
                      
                                           BRETT
                                    (to Zeke)
                                I got you.
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                Yeah, you almost busted my eardrum.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                You jumped, I saw it. Luke did too.
                      
                                            ZEKE
                                See this?
                      
                      Zeke flips Brett the bird, middle finger reaching to the
                      heavens.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                Is that the one you use on your
                                momma?
                      
                      Zeke scowls, starts to leave...
                      
                                          BRETT (CONT'D)
                                You gonna tattletale on me now?
                      
                                            ZEKE
                                Maybe.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                    (mock fear)
                                Please, no! I beg of you!
                      
                                          LUKE
                                Zeke, my man, don't give Greg a
                                reason to come out of his cage. We
                                can handle this.
                      
                      Zeke disappears to the back of the restaurant. Luke shakes
                      his head disapprovingly.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                Wuss. Not my fault the kid's thin
                                skinned. Gotta learn to take a
                                joke.
                                            LUKE
                                I guess.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                I mean, it's like your story. I
                                knew all that was BS, but I still
                                played along.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                Your assumption is flawed, my
                                friend.
                      
                                          BRETT
                                What? You talking trash, Ronald
                                McDonald?
                      
                                          LUKE
                                No, I'm talking about the story...
                                It wasn't BS.
                      
                                           BRETT
                                Man, I gotta give credit where
                                credit's due... You stick to your
                                guns, kid.
                                    (looks to the patron)
                                Yo, I'm gonna go act like I'm
                                cleaning the tables. I wanna see
                                what's up with mystery meat over
                                there.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                The Dead Watcher.
                      
                                            BRETT
                                Whatever.
                      
                      Brett grabs a rag and spray bottle, proceeds to the tables.
                      He casually makes his way toward the patron.
                      
                      Luke stands alone at the register, watching Brett close the
                      gap. Movement outside the restaurant catches his eye --
                      
                      A black CARGO VAN comes to a stop. Another figure in a top
                      hat climbs out, goes around and opens the back doors.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                    (sotto)
                                What is this? V for Vendetta?
                      
                      The figure violently YANKS a man out of the van: we'll call
                      this poor schlub the PALE MAN.
                      
                                          LUKE (CONT'D)
                                Hey, Zeke, come check this out!
                      
                      No answer. Luke turns around, surveys the back of the
                      restaurant; finds the door to the office closed.
                      
                      He shakes his head in disappointment, mutters to himself...
                      
                                          LUKE (CONT'D)
                                Damn, Zeke.
                      
                      The door CHIMES. Pale Man limps to the register in tattered
                      clothes. Looks as though he's minutes away from dying.
                      Something about him doesn't sit well with Luke.
                      
                      Luke takes him in: gaunt eyes, sagging skin, labored breaths.
                      Nonetheless, he has a job to do...
                      
                                          LUKE (CONT'D)
                                Uh, welcome to Boppin' Burger, sir.
                                Can I interest you in one of our
                                combo meals?
                      
                      In a gravelly voice...
                      
                                            PALE MAN
                                Meat.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                Um, okay. Would you like a boppin'
                                burger? Or perhaps a hoppin'
                                chicken?
                      
                                            PALE MAN
                                Bloody.
                      
                                          LUKE
                                E-Excuse me?
                      
                      The pale man deteriorates before our eyes! Pupils dilate,
                      lesions form on skin, lips recede.
                      
                      Luke backs away from the counter in horror, looks to Brett;
                      he's a few feet away from the patron.
                      
                                          LUKE (CONT'D)
                                Uh, Brett?! A little help here!
                      
                      Brett spins around, annoyed. Gives Luke a "not now" face.
                      
                                          PALE MAN
                                Bloody meat.
                      
                                            LUKE
                                H-H-HELP!
                      
                                          BRETT
                                Dude, what the hell?!
                      
                      Luke points, the pale man turns to...
                      
                                            BRETT (CONT'D)
                                Oh. Sh**.
                      
                      Transformation complete, he glares at Brett with yellowish
                      eyes. Brett freezes in terror, Pale Man grins.
                      
                                          PALE MAN
                                Bloody meat.
                      
                                          ZEKE (O.S.)
                                Hey, dirt face!
                      
                      Zeke steals the show; he stands behind the counter clad in
                      black, large BUTCHER KNIFE in hand. Luke looks spellbound...
                      
                                          LUKE
                                Whoa.
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                    (to Pale Man)
                                Those the only two words you know?
                      
                      The pale man SNARLS at Zeke. What transpires next is quick,
                      but undeniably sloppy:
                      
                      a) Zeke hurdles the counter; catches his foot on the edge and
                      tumbles to the other side. Luckily the knife doesn't break
                      his fall --
                      
                      b) The pale man rushes over, Zeke slashes at his ankles --
                      
                      c) The pale man pounces on top of Zeke, who manages to hold
                      him at bay. Grimy teeth chomp mercilessly --
                      
                      d) Zeke rolls, pinning the man to the floor. He takes the
                      knife and --
                      
                      e) THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! Repeatedly stabs the man in the
                      chest. A gory mess ensues --
                      
                      f) He brings the blade to the side of the man's neck, a
                      decapitation imminent --
                      
                                          WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
                                STOP!
                      
                      The patron in the top hat approaches: a woman in her early
                      forties. She walks with an authoritarian's demeanor and
                      speaks with a British accent...
                      
                                          PATRON
                                Your objective was to exterminate
                                the mortuus without the aid of
                                decapitation.
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                Sorry.
                      
                      The pale man lies on the floor, plenty dead. Again.
                      
                                           PATRON
                                Though a bit crude, with unduly
                                wasted energy, I find that you have
                                indeed accomplished your task.
                                    (beat)
                                Congratulations, Z... You have
                                advanced to Level Two.
                      
                      Zeke beams, does a celebratory jig.
                      
                                          BRETT (O.S.)
                                Dude! What! Was that?!
                      
                                          LUKE
                                Holy sh**, Zeke! You're a dead
                                watcher?!
                      
                                          PATRON
                                Which brings us to the next item on
                                the agenda... If either one of you
                                twits yaks about this matter while
                                Z is in training...? I will
                                personally obliterate you into
                                little chunks and subsequently
                                dispose of those pieces like
                                yesterday's rubbish.
                      
                      Brett and Luke GULP.
                      
                                          PATRON (CONT'D)
                                Do I make myself clear?
                      
                                    LUKE                             BRETT
                      Yes, ma'am.                     Crystal.
                      
                                          PATRON (CONT'D)
                                Cheers. Well then, Z, if all other
                                affairs are in order...?
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                Um, the shift leader, the cameras,
                                and the tapes. Yep, we're good.
                      
                                          PATRON
                                Then I expect you promptly at six
                                to resume your training. Cheerio!
                      
                      She exits the restaurant. Zeke stands alone with Luke and
                      Brett. They study him; a new found admiration in their eyes,
                      coalesced with fear.
                      
                                          ZEKE
                                Alright, guys, so this is the plan:
                                after we clean up this mess, Luke,
                                if you could get a case of fries
                                from the freezer... There's just
                                one other matter that we need to
                                resolve.
                      
                      Brett grimaces. Zeke smiles triumphantly.
                      
                                                                  SMASH TO BLACK.
                      
                                                THE END.
                      Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

                        Code:
                        MOLLY
                        
                        INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY
                        
                        Items move across a conveyor belt. A fat hand reaches for
                        each and rolls them past a scanner. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
                        
                        The items continue on their journey down the chute to MARK
                        (19) the bagger's quick and expert hands.
                        
                        We move back to the stubby fingers of MOLLY, the teenage
                        cashier, pounding the number keys to end the transaction.
                        
                                               MOLLY
                                       (O.S.)
                                   Credit or debit?
                        
                        An elderly woman CUSTOMER stares up at the cashier from her
                        scooter.
                                               CUSTOMER
                                   Credit.
                        
                                               MOLLY
                                       (O.S.)
                                   We need your signature on the pad.
                        
                        The old woman reaches up to sign the credit card reader.
                        
                                               CUSTOMER
                                   These things never look like my
                                   signature. What if someone doesn't
                                   believe it's really me?
                        
                                               MARK
                                   Nobody ever looks at those things,
                                   ma'am.
                        
                                               CUSTOMER
                                   They don't? Then why do they make
                                   us sign them?
                        
                                               MARK
                                   Mostly so old people won't freak out
                                   about not signing something when
                                   they pay.
                        
                        Molly hands the old lady her receipt.
                        
                                               MOLLY
                                       (O.S.)
                                   Thank you for shopping at the Saver.
                        
                        The woman takes the receipt, but looks disgusted.
                        
                                               CUSTOMER
                                   Your face is bleeding.
                        
                        Molly (17) touches her acne-covered face and looks at the
                        blood on her fingers.
                        
                        The old lady motors away.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  Pete, Molly's face is scaring the
                                  customers again.
                        
                        PETE, the twenty-something shift manager, walks over to the
                        register.
                        
                        He cringes at Molly's face.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Jesus, Molly.
                        
                        He hands her a rough brown paper towel from behind the
                        register.
                        
                        Molly takes it like she's getting an engagement ring.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                  Thanks, Pete.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Uh, yeah. Why don't you take your
                                  break and try to stop bleeding.
                        
                        Molly flips her register light off, squeezes out of her work
                        station, and waddles to the back of the store.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  I think she likes you.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  I know but, eee-yuck.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  Just think. She could use her face
                                  oil as a natural lubricant when she
                                  went down on you.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Thanks for that mental picture.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  So, did you bring the stuff?
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Yeah, but you gotta promise to play
                                  it straight or you'll ruin the whole
                                  thing.
                        
                        
                        INT. BREAK ROOM
                        
                        Molly sits alone at a long table, washing down a bag of
                        Funyuns with a large bottle of Sunkist.
                        
                        Mark and Pete enter. Mark gets a Coke from a vending machine
                        as Pete pulls a brown lunch bag from the fridge and sits at
                        the other end of Molly's table.
                        
                        The twinkle in Molly's eyes for Pete quickly disappears as
                        Mark sits down next to Pete.
                        
                                                 PETE
                                  Molly?
                        
                                                 MOLLY
                                         (accidentally spewing
                                          Funyun crumbs)
                                  Yef?
                        
                        Pete tries not to gag. Mark openly laughs at her.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Well, it's obvious you've got
                                  facial...blemishes. And it's no big
                                  deal, it happens to people. But I
                                  was wondering if you've ever really
                                  tried to do anything about it.
                        
                                               MOLLY
                                  I clean my face all the time, but I
                                  can't afford the Activia or whatever
                                  it's called.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Yeah, well, that's yogurt, but anyway,
                                  I was thinking about you the other
                                  night.
                        
                                                 MOLLY
                                  You were?
                        
                        Mark snickers.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Uh, yeah. And I got something here
                                  that my grandma swears worked for
                                  her.
                        
                        Pete pulls out a small, round plastic container from his bag
                        and passes it across the table to Molly.
                        
                        Molly holds the container up to the light to examine the
                        white goop through the clear plastic.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  It's homemade, right?
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Yeah. You wouldn't believe how much
                                  work went into coming up with just
                                  that small amount.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  Yeah, I even had to come over and
                                  help out. It was a lot of hard work
                                  to get it to come out right. You
                                  know. Make it precise.
                        
                        Molly carefully lifts the lid of the container off and looks
                        at the milky cream inside. She sniffs it.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                  What do I do with it?
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Grandma says just smear it on your
                                  face.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  I think her exact words were give
                                  yourself a facial.
                        
                        Pete stifles a smile by glaring at Mark.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Yeah, you know. Just rub it out, I
                                  mean in. Rub it in.
                        
                        Molly puts the lid back on.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                  You really think it will work?
                        
                                              MARK
                                  Your face can't get any worse, right?
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Just give it a shot and tell us how
                                  it went tomorrow. If it works, we
                                  can whip you up some more.
                        
                        Molly holds the container up to the light once more as we
                        DISSOLVE to
                        
                        INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
                        
                        Molly dips her hand into the opaque goo and rubs it between
                        her thumb and finger. She wrinkles her nose before smearing
                        it on her forehead.
                        
                        She grabs more and rubs it into her fat cheeks and bulbous
                        nose.
                        
                        She places the empty jar on the counter and looks into the
                        mirror.
                        
                        Her face glistens with the stuff.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                  Now what?
                        
                        She gives closer scrutiny to a white-headed blemish sitting
                        snugly in the wrinkle between her nose and cheek.
                        
                                              MOLLY (CONT'D)
                                  Secret formula. How stupid.
                        
                        She pushes the edge of the zit with her forefinger.
                        
                        It appears to grow bigger as she applies more pressure.
                        
                        She applies a second finger and a scowl and pushes even
                        harder.
                        
                        White pus pops out of the pore.
                        
                        Only it doesn't stop. It oozes out in a long, thick string
                        as she continues to squeeze. Inches of stuff soon becomes a
                        foot of worm-like slithering pus.
                        
                        A terrified Molly SCREAMS as she pulls the last of it out of
                        her face.
                        
                        She eyes the worm. It looks back at her. She barely dodges
                        a SNAP at her nose from its razor sharp teeth.
                        
                        She tosses it in the jar and it slithers around.
                        
                        She looks back at her reflection in the mirror.
                        
                        Her multiple whiteheads pulsate and squirm just below her
                        skin.
                        
                        INT. BREAK ROOM
                        
                        Pete and Mark sit at the long table in utter boredom.
                        
                        Molly enters with large, scabbed over wounds on her face and
                        carrying a brown paper bag and the empty plastic container
                        from the night before. The bag has "MOLLY'S DON'T TOUCH!!"
                        scrawled on the side.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                  I got you guys something. As a thank
                                  you.
                        
                        She pulls a lidded casserole dish out of the bag and places
                        it in the fridge.
                        
                        Mark and Pete smirk as Molly sits down at the table.
                        
                                              MOLLY (CONT'D)
                                  And here's your container back.
                        
                                              PETE
                                      (ignoring her)
                                  Ah, you shouldn't have.
                        
                                               MARK
                                  Holy crap. Your face is worse.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                  Is it? I think once these scabs go
                                  away, everything'll be all cleared
                                  up. You've changed my life forever.
                        
                        Pete chokes back a gag reflex when he finally looks her
                        direction.
                        
                                               MARK
                                  Cum again?
                        
                                               MOLLY
                                  I can't think you enough for what
                                  you've done.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  See, man, I told you she'd appreciate
                                  it.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  I su-pooge you're right.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                  Anyway. Can I go back to working
                                  the register again?
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Ugh, don't you think you should get
                                  your face jackulate, I mean, checked
                                  out before it's too late by a doctor
                                  or something?
                        
                        Molly touches her sores gingerly.
                        
                                               MOLLY
                                  These? Do you really think so?
                        
                                               MARK
                                  I would. You know, jism case.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                  Hmmm, well, if you say so. Anyway,
                                  enjoy the treats I made for you.
                                  I'll just stay in the back away from
                                  all the customers today.
                        
                        Molly gets up and politely pushes in her chair.
                        
                        Mark flips her off as she walks out of the room. Pete laughs.
                        
                                               PETE
                                  Holy crap. She really put that stuff
                                  on her face.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  What do you have, battery acid for
                                  sperm?
                        
                        Pete moves to the fridge and pulls out the casserole dish.
                        
                                              PETE
                                  Me? Your mom says my stuff's pure.
                                  Must have been your nasty goo.
                        
                        Pete places the dish between them on the table.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  You actually going to eat that?
                        
                                              PETE
                                  I don't even know what it is.
                        
                        Pete slowly lifts up the glass lid, takes a whiff and then
                        slams it back down.
                        
                                                PETE (CONT'D)
                                  Phew.
                        
                                              MARK
                                  How much you give me to eat it and
                                  then puke it up on her back?
                        
                                              PETE
                                  You're sick, dude. Twenty bucks.
                        
                                                MARK
                                  Come on.    How bad can it be?
                        
                        Mark lifts the lid.
                        
                        It looks like a pasta dish.
                        
                        Right up until one of the worms darts out and scurries halfway
                        down Mark's throat just as another lodges itself into his
                        nose.
                        
                        He knocks the dish to the floor as he struggles to his feet
                        trying to remove the parasites. His eyes bulge and he turns
                        blue as he asphyxiates.
                        
                                               PETE
                                  Mark! Holy sh**!
                        
                        Pete tries to yank the worms out of his friend to no avail.
                        
                        Mark flops around on the floor clawing at the outside of his
                        throat until he dies.
                        
                                               PETE (CONT'D)
                                  Mark! What the hell? Mark!
                        
                        Pete looks around the room in shock and disbelief.
                        
                        His gaze turns to the casserole dish on the floor just as
                        two more worms fly out and into his face.
                        
                        BREAK ROOM - LATER
                        
                        Molly enters the room.
                        
                        Mark and Pete's lifeless bodies lie on the floor. The killer
                        worms rest harmlessly on their faces.
                        
                        Molly carefully picks up each long white worm and places it
                        back into the dish. They gently caress their mother's wrist.
                        
                        She puts the lid back on the dish and puts it back in the
                        paper bag before placing everything in the fridge.
                        
                        She picks up the intercom phone on the back wall.
                        
                                              MOLLY
                                      (into phone in a fake
                                       frantic tone)
                                  I have a Code Five in the break room!
                                  A Code Five! I repeat a Code Five
                                  in the break room!
                        
                        Molly hangs up the phone.
                        
                        She calmly sits at the table and kills time by picking at
                        the scabs on her face until they bleed.
                        
                        FADE TO BLACK
                        Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

                          Code:
                          COFFIN CREEK
                          
                          EXT. ALABAMA COUNTRY ROAD * DAY
                          
                          No houses anywhere in sight. The only sign that civilization
                          ever came through here is the road itself. Dead leaves
                          skitter with the wind across the cracked pavement. High weeds
                          crowd in along the shoulders.
                          
                          A jet black BMW hurtles down the road. Dark tinted windows...
                          and New York license plates.
                          
                          
                          EXT. BRIDGE
                          
                          A bullet-pocked, faded yellow sign in front of this ancient
                          relic warns that the road narrows to one lane. Someone's
                          spray painted "BOO!" over part of it. A homemade ghost,
                          fashioned from a sheet, spins off a rope hung from the sign.
                          
                          Twenty feet below the bridge, the water runs wide and deep.
                          
                          
                          EXT. CREEK BANK
                          
                          Unseen from above, a rusted Ford pickup truck squats beneath
                          the bridge; Doors open, tailgate down, cane poles and fishing
                          tackle untouched in the bed of the truck. The back window
                          displays a gun rack with a couple of deadly looking rifles
                          and shotguns attached there.
                          
                          A few feet away from the truck, a small campfire burns.
                          
                          
                          EXT. BRIDGE
                          
                          The BMW hits a pothole that's dug itself down deep into the
                          asphalt, just before where the bridge concrete starts.
                          
                          BAM -- Both front and back tires on the passenger side blow
                          out after running over the jagged edges. The driver of the
                          car somehow manages to keep it from losing control and brings
                          it to a stop at the far end of the bridge.
                          
                          The Beemer limps to the shoulder - where a dirt wheel path
                          winds down and around to underneath the bridge.
                          
                          
                          EXT. CREEK BANK
                          
                          Coming out of the weeds, ELMORE BASS tosses a couple of
                          sticks in to feed the campfire. Forty, lean, dressed in
                          denim overalls, he looks every inch the country bumpkin.
                          
                          Except for his face. Square chinned, clean-shaven, a fiery
                          intelligence in his eyes.
                          
                          
                          EXT. BRIDGE
                          
                          The ENGINE SHUTS OFF and the car just sits there for a while.
                          Finally, the window rolls down. A feminine hand drums the
                          open window frame.
                          
                          Then the car door opens and out steps KATELIN JONES (30s).
                          Fashionably trendy pantsuit, raven hair tied in a pony-tail,
                          she'd be a reasonably attractive woman --
                          
                          If it weren't for the scowl on her face.
                          
                          Scanning the blown-out tires, she reaches into her purse and
                          whips out a cell phone. Hits a button.
                          
                          CLOSE ON PHONE.
                          
                          No bars.   She won't be calling anyone from here.
                          
                          Katelin throws it back in her purse.
                          
                                               ELMORE (O.S.)
                                     Be needing some assistance?
                          
                          He startles her. She hadn't seen him come up the track. She
                          immediately reaches back into her purse and yanks out a
                          pocket-sized mace canister, pointing it at him.
                          
                                               KATELIN
                                     No. I mean yes. But just stay right
                                     there. I'm armed.
                          
                          He takes another step closer and stops. He regards the small
                          can pointed at him. And dismisses it.
                          
                                               ELMORE
                                     Yeah. I see that.
                          
                          He walks right on past her, taking a quick glance at the
                          license plate before examining the tires.
                          
                                               ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                     I'd ask you if you had a spare, but
                                     with two tires popped, don't
                                     imagine there's much point.
                          
                          She shifts as he passes, keeping the mace pointed at him.
                          
                                               ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                     I'll radio a tow truck for you. No
                                     cell service out here.
                          
                          He heads back past her, down the track toward the creek.
                          
                                                 ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                       You can sit up here in your car and
                                       wait. Or you're welcome to join us
                                       down by the creek.
                          
                                                 KATELIN
                                       Us?
                          
                          He's already almost out of sight.
                          
                                                 ELMORE
                                       Leroy's down here somewhere.
                          
                          
                          EXT. CREEK
                          
                          Elmore saunters over to the truck, leans in across the seat,
                          looking for something on the floorboard.
                          
                          
                          INT. CAR
                          
                          Katelin settles herself into the soft leather driver's seat
                          and closes the door. Her hand is on the ignition. She stays
                          there for a few seconds, debating.
                          
                                                  KATELIN
                                           (To herself)
                                       You're a big girl. Not afraid of
                                       city muggers. Besides, you're
                                       armed. What's a redneck to be
                                       scared of?
                          
                          She opens the door.
                          
                          
                          EXT. BRIDGE
                          
                          She stomps down the path, mace canister in hand, purse slung
                          over her shoulder.
                          
                          
                          EXT. CREEK BANK
                          
                          Elmore's sitting in a folding chair next to the creek. He
                          gestures to another chair on the opposite side of the
                          campfire.
                          
                          Katelin huffs, then takes the seat, setting the mace in her
                          lap. She sits there, silent. Ignoring him.
                          
                          He looks more amused than offended.
                          
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    'Round here, we gen'rally say
                                    howdy, introduce ourselves, talk
                                    about the weather, natter on about
                                    who we are and who we know.
                          
                          He rises, walks over.   Sticks out his hand.
                          
                                              ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                    Elmore Bass. Local resident and
                                    redneck.
                          
                                              KATELIN
                                        (only mildly embarrassed)
                                    You heard that?
                                              ELMORE
                                    Mighty quiet 'round here. Sound
                                    carries. Hear a lot of things. If
                                    you're used to listening.
                          
                          She reaches out and shakes his hand perfunctorily. Doesn't
                          get up.
                          
                                              KATELIN
                                    Katelin Jones.
                          
                          With a nod of acknowledgement, he returns to his seat and
                          picks up a stick to stir the fire a little more.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    And?
                          
                                              KATELIN
                                    And what? I don't think I'll be
                                    here long enough to be meeting the
                                    kinfolk and tell my life story.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    Never know what's gonna happen.
                          
                          A SPLASH as LEROY suddenly pops his head up out of the water
                          behind Elmore. He exhales mightily.
                          
                          Leroy's somewhere in his thirties; Curly hair, little eyes,
                          bushy black beard; Based on what's above the water, he looks
                          like he'd be a fairly big boy. He sucks in air greedily, but
                          his eyes never stop scanning the water around him.
                          
                          Elmore doesn't even turn his head.
                          
                                              ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                        (To Leroy)
                                    You find him?
                          
                          Leroy shakes his head, even though Elmore can't see him.
                          
                                                 LEROY
                                      Not yet.
                          
                          Elmore grunts.
                          
                                                ELMORE
                                      Keep lookin'.
                          
                          Leroy nods and submerges again.
                          
                          Katelin watches the ripples left behind, not real sure what
                          to make of it.
                          
                          She shifts her attention back to Elmore.
                          
                                                 KATELIN
                                      I thought you were going to call a
                                      tow truck.
                          
                          His eyes suddenly narrow. A frown. He reaches with one hand
                          down to the high grass beside his chair.
                          
                                                ELMORE
                                      Already took care of that.
                          
                          The hand whips back around.    Now holding a pistol.
                          
                          He FIRES twice.
                          
                          Katelin flinches, looks down at her body.   Astonished.
                          
                          No holes.
                          
                          But on the ground next to her is the now headless body of a
                          six foot snake.
                          
                          Finished checking herself for wounds, she spots it.
                          
                          Elmore leans forward in his chair. Nods. Satisfied.
                          
                                                ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                      Copperhead.
                          
                          He looks at the dead snake for another second.
                          
                                                ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                      Now, most poisonous snakes, rattler
                                      or water moccasin, you leave 'em
                                      alone and they'll leave you alone.
                                      But a copperhead's just plain mean.
                                      He'll sneak up and bite you just
                                      'cuz he feels like it.
                          
                          He puts the pistol back where he got it.
                          
                                              ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                    Most folks don't see the really bad
                                    ones until it's too late.
                          
                          Only now does she remember the mace canister in her lap. She
                          automatically reaches for it, then draws her hand up to her
                          hair, trying to hide the original reason for the motion.
                          
                                              ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                    So, what brings you down to this
                                    neck of the woods?
                          
                                              KATELIN
                                        (hesitating before
                                         deciding to answer)
                                    My sister's getting married next
                                    week. I wanted to spend some time
                                    with her before the wedding.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    My best wishes to the bride. She
                                    live in Alabama?
                          
                                              KATELIN
                                    No. Florida panhandle.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    Long way to drive. Even further
                                    this way. You decide to take the
                                    scenic route?
                          
                                              KATELIN
                                    I hate flying, so I drove. The
                                    interstate was at a dead stop.
                                    Accident somewhere up ahead of me.
                                    So I turned off. Then my GPS got
                                    itself lost.
                          
                                               ELMORE
                                    Never trusted one of those things.
                                        (beat)
                                    So no one knows you're here?
                          
                          A hesitation.
                          
                                              KATELIN
                                    Well, I called my sister right
                                    before I got off the interstate and
                                    told her exactly where I was.
                          
                          Elmore gives her a long look. Not buying it.
                          
                          A SPLASH and a WHOOSH. Leroy again.
                          
                                              LEROY
                                    You got company?
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    Where are my manners... Leroy, this
                                    here's Katelin Jones from New York.
                          
                          Apparently, that fact is enough to impress ol' Leroy.
                          
                                               LEROY
                                        (To Katelin)
                                    New York? I love that ball drop
                                    each year!
                          
                          Elmore scowls at Leroy.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    You gonna fish or chew the fat?
                          
                          The gears turn inside Leroy's head as he thinks on this. He
                          brightens.
                          
                                              LEROY
                                    Fish, I guess.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    So what are you waiting for?
                          
                          Leroy submerges again.
                          
                                              KATELIN
                                    What's he fishing for?
                          
                          Elmore shrugs again.  Noncommittal.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    Guess you'll find out when he does.
                          
                          Several long seconds pass before Leroy resurfaces. Excited.
                          
                                              LEROY
                                    I found him!
                          
                          In front of him, the top of a wooden coffin slowly rises to
                          the surface. Leroy's straining... Then --
                          
                          He loses his grip and it sinks back under. Leroy immediately
                          dives after it.
                          
                          Elmore rises from his chair and moves to the bank.
                          
                          Katelin seizes the moment to place her hand around the mace
                          canister and starts to stand --
                          
                          The coffin breaks the surface like a fast-rising sub, sliding
                          up over the limestone bank to rest at Elmore's feet. The top
                          of Leroy appears, his beefy arms continuing to push the
                          coffin from the bottom.
                          
                          Once the coffin is firmly on the ground, Leroy pulls himself
                          up onto the bank. As water seeps out through the cracks and
                          seams, Elmore kneels beside the coffin.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    He still in there?
                          
                                              LEROY
                                        (sucking in air)
                                    Not sure. I slammed the lid closed.
                          
                          One side of the coffin lid is hinged. Elmore grabs the
                          opposite edge. He looks to Katelin.
                          
                                              ELMORE
                                    Trick or treat?
                          
                          Elmore grasps the lid and flips it open.
                          
                          Katelin, in spite of herself, remains rooted to her spot. She
                          cranes her neck -
                          
                                              ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                    Black cat just crossed your path.
                          
                          He gestures --
                          
                          Inside the coffin is one big-durned black catfish, swimming
                          in the remaining water.
                          
                          The NOISE of a TRUCK slowing and stopping can be heard. Soon,
                          it's followed by the SOUND of a WINCH being used.
                          
                          Elmore smiles at Katelin.
                          
                                              ELMORE (CONT'D)
                                    That'll be the wrecker. Can I
                                    interest you in a catfish dinner?
                          
                          Her turn to smile. She notices that she's still holding the
                          mace canister. She drops it in her purse.
                          
                                               KATELIN
                                    I think I'd like that. Happy
                                    Halloween.
                          
                          [end]
                          Last edited by dpaterso; 11-06-2013, 02:41 AM.
                          Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

                            Code:
                            THE TAKER
                            
                            ... a GIRL'S slender hand
                            
                            ...as she presses a BUTTON on her new GOBLIN WATCH. Her
                            face lights up in the green GLOW.
                            
                                                     LAUREN
                                      Bums me out.
                            
                                                     STANNER
                                      Lauren.
                            
                                                     LAUREN
                                      Huh?
                            
                                                  STANNER
                                      Stop doing that.
                            
                                                     LAUREN
                                      Huh?
                            
                                                  BILLY
                                      Edgeware Avenue.
                            
                            A dark housing estate rises up before us. Ominous, dozens
                            of little houses. A pumpkin burns on a dilapidated porch.
                            
                                                  BILLY (CONT'D)
                                      They'll take your watch.
                            
                                                     STANNER
                                      And you.
                            
                                                  BILLY
                                      This may be the frontier, but there's
                                      rich pickings here.
                            
                            Billy wipes his nose.
                            
                                                     STANNER
                                      Here goes.
                            
                                                  LAUREN
                                      Okay, guys, group hug.
                            
                            The gang press-up. Billy looks uncomfortable. Lauren
                            notices.
                            
                            The gang tread out over the unholy turf of the Edgeware Avenue
                            housing estate...
                            
                            Suddenly...
                            
                            OVER BLACK:
                            
                            Lauren's character capsule: age 13, moved into Bradford last
                            year when her parents split up/Was at a good school/Now at
                            a not-so-good school. Heart of gold, loves everybody and
                            loves animals. Loves Queen, We Are the Champions.
                            
                            EXT. SOMEWHERE IN THE BARRIO OF EDGEWARE AVENUE - LATE
                            
                            And they stop.
                            
                                                  BILLY
                                      Maybe he won't show this year.
                            
                                                  STANNER
                                      You said he'd been arrested.
                            
                                                  LAUREN
                                      Who?
                            
                                                  STANNER
                                      Nobody.
                            
                            They walk on.
                            
                                                  LAUREN
                                      Come on, keep up guys.
                            
                            Billy follows Stanner, Lauren is way out front. She's sizing
                            up the houses.
                            
                            Some of which are in darkness.
                            
                            EXT. ELSEWHERE - WAY AHEAD - AN EDGEWARE AVENUE TERRACE,
                            NUMBER 200 AND SOMETHING - MOMENTS LATER
                            
                            Low camera moves up a stone path. We see only the lower
                            slats of a dark front door. It CLICKS ajar, a spear of light
                            pours out. Black boots. The door CLICKS shut. The boots
                            narrowly avoid us, WALKING down the stone path. Fainter and
                            fainter as they turn onto the street.
                            
                            The camera moves up, we see a number, 237, embedded on gone-
                            green copper plate.
                            
                            EXT. BACK ALONG THE STREET - SAME
                            
                            Stanner at end of a similar path. Watching. Lauren and Billy
                            hunkered up under a dim red porch light.
                            
                                                  INTERCOM
                                      Zzzz...zzz...
                            
                                                    BILLY
                                       Huh.
                            
                            Nothing. Then..
                            
                                                    INTERCOM
                                       Zzzzzzz...
                            
                                                    BILLY
                                       Busted.
                            
                                                    LAUREN
                                       Totally.
                            
                                                   BILLY
                                       Thanks anyway...
                            
                                                   LAUREN
                                       Happy Halloween...
                            
                                                   INTERCOM
                                           (delay...)
                                       ....Zzzzzzzzz.
                            
                            Lauren shrugs approaching Stanner. Billy is halfway down
                            path when...
                            
                            CLICK...TINKLE...CLICK...TINKLE... and some more.
                            
                            The cat flap closes, the SWEETS form a little MOUNTAIN, a
                            cola bottle rolls out and down the path resting at Billy's
                            feet.
                            
                            He stares at the others in disbelief.
                            
                                                   LAUREN
                                       That was so cool...
                            
                            OVER BLACK:
                            
                            Stanner's character capsule: age 14, good at soccer, played
                            for local side until a knee injury shattered his chances of
                            selection for an 'unders' team. Speaks to everybody at
                            school, liked by everybody at school. Befriended Billy when
                            he met him walking alone close to a soccer game and introduced
                            him to Lauren who is the 'new girl'. Has a soft spot for
                            Elvis, but that's a closely-kept secret.
                            
                            EXT. FURTHER ALONG THE STREET - MINUTES LATER
                            
                            Dancin' with linked-up arms... kicking legs out...
                            
                                                    BILLY
                                       Good omen.
                            
                                                   LAUREN
                                       Such a charmer, Billy!
                            
                            Billy seems to blush.
                            
                            EXT. CORNER JUNCTION - FORMS PART OF EDGEWARE AVENUE -
                            
                            Half an hour later. MOON. Rain. Stanner stooped and rifling
                            through the now-stuffed supermarket bag.
                            
                                                   STANNER
                                       We could quit now and be eating this
                                       booty 'til Christmas.
                            
                            Billy watches him and smiles awkwardly.
                            
                            ODDBALL HOUSE, if ever there were...
                            
                                                   BILLY
                                       Okay...let's try this fine
                                       establishment.
                            
                            Long driveway. Front door is a mass of blue fairy lights. A
                            grisly-looking evil face is bolted to the front door. Lauren
                            seems nervous, scared even...
                            
                                                   LAUREN
                                       Is this the House of Horrors.
                            
                                                   STANNER
                                       Billy and I'll get this one, step
                                       aside.
                            
                            Stanner steers his hand like a shark fin.
                            
                            EXT. DOORWAY - MOMENTS IN
                            
                            Ding...
                            
                            Then...
                            
                            Ding...ding...dong...dong...ding...ding, dong... and on it
                            goes, the fairy lights on the same circuit as the bell follow
                            the jingle and then it...
                            
                            CLICK...
                            
                            The door opens...
                            
                            EXT. FURTHER UP THE STREET - SOMEWHERE
                            
                                                   BILLY
                                       ...but Stanner does a good impression
                                       of a ghoul?
                            
                                                  STANNER
                                      I wasn't doin' no wild dances.
                            
                            They're all still laughing.
                            
                                                  LAUREN
                                      It wasn't so funny back there.
                            
                                                  BILLY
                                      That guy was huge, and scary.
                            
                                                  LAUREN
                                      I thought he was weird.
                            
                                                  STANNER
                                      He liked you.
                            
                                                   LAUREN
                                      Hey.
                            
                                                   STANNER
                                      Huh.
                            
                                                   LAUREN
                                      Don't.   He scared me.
                            
                                                  STANNER
                                      Sorry Lauren.
                            
                            OVER BLACK:
                            
                            Billy's character capsule: age 14, like Stanner, but immature,
                            and prone to fits of aggression, spent a lot of time alone
                            at school, seems to make friends, and then lose them for
                            some reason. Favourite band is The Smiths. But he changes
                            his mind often.
                            
                            EXT. CLOSE TO END OF EDGEWARE AVENUE, A SIGN FOR ALAMO
                            AVENUE ABUTS EDGEWARE...
                            
                            When...
                            
                                                  BILLY
                                      Why do you come here.... and why do
                                      you hang around...
                                          (singing,)
                            
                            Billy well ahead and staring back cheekily...
                            
                            Lauren and Stan share a nervous...
                            
                            Billy nearly walks into the...
                            
                            
                            EXT. ON A STRIP OF PAVEMENT, 100 YARDS FROM THE END OF
                            EDGEWARE AVENUE
                            
                            ...spitting image of MICHAEL MYERS causing him to jump back.
                            Lauren and Stanner frozen as they survey Billy.
                            
                                                  BILLY
                                          (to others, regardless)
                                      That's ten houses, we've nearly filled
                                      the bag, and people are meant to be
                                      broke...
                            
                            Stanner shuffles the bag so that it dangles behind his back...
                            
                                                  STAN
                                      Fruit, soda, cola, liquorice sticks,
                                      sweet cigarettes, cola bottles, we
                                      dumped them all back there...
                            
                            Mirroring the unreality of Billy's behaviour.
                            
                                                  STANNER
                                          (soft, quiet, nervous)
                                      Why'd we have to come all the way
                                      out here?
                            
                            Wilting under Myers' shadow.    Billy turns-
                            
                                                  BILLY
                                      We haven't got any grub, mate.
                            
                            Michael Myers doesn't answer.    He just BREATHES.
                            
                            His mask shines under the lamps and rain continues to fall.
                            Billy isn't moving, he doesn't seem bothered. Even.
                            
                            Myers points at the bag Stanner is attempting to dangle behind
                            his back and keeps poking out.
                            
                                                  STAN
                                      My mum's shopping!
                            
                            Myers motions again.
                            
                                                  STANNER
                                      Oh, you want this?
                            
                                                  LAUREN
                                      Just give it to him, Stanno.
                            
                            Lauren gains confidence.
                            
                                                  MICHAEL MYERS
                                      Listen kid, hand it over or...
                            
                            Yeah, he talks.
                            
                                                     LAUREN
                                       Or...
                            
                            Billy all this time is staring at the pavement, shuffling,
                            kicking around. Edgy.
                            
                                                   MICHAEL MYERS
                                       You don't get to leave.
                            
                            Stanner steps forward, Myers is at least 6 feet 4". He moves
                            in front of Lauren. Whisper.
                            
                                                     STANNER
                                       On my go...
                            
                            Stan suddenly SLINGS the bag at Myers...
                            
                            EXT. BEYOND EDGEWARE ROAD - MINUTES LATER
                            
                            Lauren is sitting on the pavement. Stanner is standing but
                            holding his knees, but he keeps watching Lauren.
                            
                                                   LAUREN
                                       What about Billy?
                            
                            Silence.   The rain falls.
                            
                                                   STANNER
                                       He can take care of himself.
                            
                            Lauren watches him, confused. Stanner smiles gently at her.
                            
                                                   STANNER (CONT'D)
                                       Let's get back into town. You hungry?
                            
                            WIDE SHOT of Edgeware Avenue. Black. Rainy. Sullen. In
                            the darkness we can see the glimmer of lights. FLICKERING
                            EYES of pumpkins? Crazy FAIRY LIGHTS...
                            
                            EXT. EDGEWARE AVENUE - MIDNIGHT... OUT OF THE DARKNESS
                            
                            ... walks Billy, hands in pockets. He stares ahead, and
                            moments later, after a long pause, he turns about and walks
                            back up Edgeware Avenue...
                            
                            EXT. EDGEWARE AVENUE - 1PM - TERRACE WITH
                            
                            ...a creepy pumpkin, plastic, lifeless, no light inside the
                            eyes, discarded on the step...
                            
                            Billy stands staring up at the house. Windows peeling paint.
                            Overgrown garden. He screws up his shoulders before he makes
                            his way up the pathway to the front door.
                            
                            We see the number 237 embedded in the fading green copper,
                            it almost reflects Billy's bommber jacket back...
                            
                            He fumbles around his pocket. Produces something... it's a
                            key on a piece of card.
                            
                            INT. HOUSE - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
                            
                            Billy on a ragged, dirty carpet. A pale yellow light casts
                            its wan beams through the hallway.
                            
                            He looks over at a cream door to his left, an ominous light
                            runs around its edge.
                            
                            Billy turns the handle slowly and enters...
                            
                            INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
                            
                            A MAN watches TV in a high backed chair, his back to Billy.
                            
                            Billy moves in line with the man and then drops into the
                            only other chair, one of a matching pair.
                            
                            TV: a scene from Friday 13th...
                            
                                                      MICHAEL MYERS
                                       Candy stick?
                            
                            Silence.
                            
                                                   MICHAEL MYERS (CONT'D)
                                       What's up son, that was a better
                                       haul than from those brats you led
                                       me to last year.
                            
                            The man peels back a wrapper on a chocolate bar. Raises his
                            mask and swigs a from a beer.
                            
                                                      BILLY
                                       Dad...
                            
                                                      MICHAEL MYERS
                                       Yeah?
                            
                            Beat.
                            
                                                      BILLY
                                       ...nothin'.
                            
                            TV:
                            
                            A subjective camera is following a girl in a ripped dress
                            through a camp site barn, she seems very scared, we're
                            intruding on her space. The room is silent.
                            
                            Almost dark outside of the TV flicker. We begin to FADE as
                            we move up slowly to a weak bulb dangling from the ceiling
                            mount...
                            
                            Super:
                            
                                             Bradford, England, 1991...
                            
                            Over a final glimmer:
                            
                                                    Halloween Night...
                            
                                                                               FADE...
                            Last edited by dpaterso; 11-06-2013, 02:46 AM.
                            Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Entries - Halloween 2013 contest

                              Code:
                              THE BELL
                              
                              FADE IN:
                              
                              A HOUSE bathed in MOONLIGHT...
                              
                              EXT. ANTHONY DEAKIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                              
                              WILLIE SANDHURST, aged 8 and a pal, MARTIN MEADOWS play jacks
                              on the old boards of the Deakin house veranda.
                              
                              Scattered pieces lie everywhere as Willie breaks eye contact
                              with Meadows to stare up at a great MOON.
                              
                              Meadows, a FAT KID entombed within a flabby body watches him
                              as he takes a piece of chalk and etches another mark on the
                              wooden wall, only a few days to go.
                              
                              Willie scoops up the jacks and flips his hand over.
                              
                                                        MEADOWS
                                         Go again.
                              
                                                     WILLIE
                                         It's your turn.
                              
                                                       MEADOWS
                                         I'll pass.    Winner goes again.
                              
                                                        WILLIE
                                         Since when?
                              
                              Willie flips pieces everywhere this time. Meadows pudgy
                              hand sweeps in and gathers up the jacks in one smooth
                              movement.
                              
                                                        MEADOWS
                                         Gotta scram.
                              
                              Willie shrugs. They step down off the porch. Willie picks
                              his schoolbag and throws it over his back, Meadows collects
                              his and does the same, they trot off down the lane.
                              
                              EXT. ANTHONY DEAKIN'S HOUSE - FULL FRAME
                              
                              Nails in the windows, fastened tightly down. Too many nails,
                              too many boards. An old red car lies rusting, flat tires,
                              everything left in a great hurry, it seems...
                              
                              Super:
                              
                                                     Norfolk, England, 1981
                              
                              Lightning strobes for just a moment, followed by a distant
                              roll of thunder, unseasonable.
                              
                              INT. SANDHURST FAMILY BREAKFAST TABLE - FOLLOWING MORNING
                              
                              MRS SANDHURST, trim, docile, buttering toast. MR SANDHURST
                              hidden behind his newspaper. Willie making goblin faces at
                              his little sister, AMY. Willie's mum drops more toast on
                              his plate...
                              
                                                    MRS SANDHURST
                                        Keeps you strong.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                            (cocky, earnest)
                                        I'm already strong mum.
                              
                                                    MRS SANDHURST
                                        Well, it'll just make you stronger,
                                        then.
                              
                              Willie sighs and turns to the wall of newspaper.
                              
                                                    MR SANDHURST
                                            (from behind paper)
                                        Just eat it all up Willie. It'll
                                        make you-
                              
                              INT. CLASSROOM - LOCAL JUNIOR SCHOOL - NEXT DAY
                              
                                                       TEACHER
                                        Strong?
                              
                              A teacher, MISS TRIM, early 30s, thin designer-glasses and a
                              figure that curves as nicely as an egg timer reads out class
                              names.
                              
                                                    MISS TRIM
                                        Philip Strong?
                              
                              Beat.
                              
                                                    KID
                                        Philip's sick, Miss!
                              
                                                       MISS TRIM
                                        Hmm.
                              
                                                       MISS TRIM (CONT'D)
                                        Peter Minch?
                              
                              Vertical arm.
                              
                                                       SAME KID
                                        Miss!
                              
                                                    MISS TRIM
                                        Very good Peter.
                              
                              She glances over her glasses.
                              
                                                    MISS TRIM (CONT'D)
                                        Willie, I thought I told you and
                                        Martin to sit apart this week?
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        That was last week miss!
                              
                              She pauses, evidently confused. Willie bites on his wedge
                              of toast.
                              
                                                    MISS TRIM
                                        Well, you'll have to move now. Class,
                                        it's time to form a circle and
                                        continue with the class project.
                              
                              Confusion and a riot of LEGS and MOPS of greasy hair scurrying
                              and fighting for a SPOT.
                              
                              Moments later...
                              
                                                    MISS TRIM (CONT'D)
                                        ... as I said in last week's session.
                                        Halloween is an American name
                                        remember. But we once knew it as
                                        All Hallows, when the souls of the
                                        departed...
                              
                              Suddenly at the CLASSROOM DOOR.
                              
                              Framed like a portrait of a a nervous GHOUL, MR WITHERS,
                              50s, the HEADMASTER stares in...
                              
                                                    MISS TRIM (CONT'D)
                                        I'll be back in one moment children,
                                        chat amongst yourselves and no
                                        fighting.
                              
                              Miss Trim disappears but we can still see her head through
                              the glass. Her head bobbing and gesticulating. Some of the
                              children watch and smile.
                              
                              INT - SCHOOL CORRIDOR - SAME
                              
                              Mr Withers wipes his glasses over with a duster as he regards
                              Miss Trim not unlike an unpacked item missing instructions.
                              
                                                    WITHERS
                                        I believe Miss Trim that they are
                                        too young to discuss certain aspects
                                        of the local history.
                              
                                                    MISS TRIM
                                        I believe that the children should
                                        know about their village's history.
                                        We can't wrap them up in cotton wool
                                        every time-
                              
                              Mr Withers wearily places his glasses back on, his eyes now
                              magnified.
                              
                                                    WITHERS
                                        Very well, but not all of the details.
                              
                              EXT. SHAW'S LANE, OPPOSITE THE SCHOOL, LATER
                              
                              Willie sits swinging his legs whilst watching Meadows try to
                              buttress in a spider that keeps running from him.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        It's true, Miss said. So it's got
                                        to be true!
                              
                              Meadows corners the spider.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        My dad says it's all made up. The
                                        family had to leave after they got
                                        into trouble. It was ff-financial-
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Financial trouble, that's just a
                                        cover up, stupid.
                              
                              Meadows stands up and throws his shoulders back.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        I'm not st-st -stuupid, okay. Don't
                                        you ever call me stupid.
                              
                              Meadows adjusts his bent school tie, he's perspiring.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS (CONT'D)
                                        That Brian Oldglass once called me
                                        st-st-stuupid and he got thrown in K-
                                        K-Kitchener's pond.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Okay, so you're not stupid, Martin,
                                        but we need to go up to the old
                                        church, nobody is there, it's been
                                        abandoned, for years. Unless...
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        Huh, w-w-what?
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        You're chicken.
                              
                              Meadows puts his foot over the spider and presses it down
                              slowly.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        I'm not scared of n-nuffin, okay.
                              
                              Willie begins to pace around, clucking and flapping his arms
                              like wings.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS (CONT'D)
                                        Cut it out Sandhurst, w-w-w-where do
                                        we meet?
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Tell you later!
                              
                              EXT. ANTHONY DEAKIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                              
                              Willie on the old houses veranda again, he seems to like it
                              here, he's playing with the jacks again.
                              
                              Rolls the jacks and watches them scatter. He hears something
                              in the field.
                              
                              A head POPS UP over the sty in the field opposite. It's
                              Meadows, trying to be clandestine.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        Mum and dad were up late watching h-
                                        h-h-horror films. I h-had a whole
                                        hour until they fell asleep.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Got any scoff?
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        Yeah, one of mum's wedges, and some
                                        chocolate bars.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Don't you eat them all this time.
                              
                              EXT. LANE ON ROAD UP TO THE OLD CHURCH - AN HOUR LATER -
                              
                              Walking briskly up the lane. Watching a distant hillside.
                              Where a LONE CHURCH sits with a dark mottled spire silhouetted
                              against the sky.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        I was thinking that Anthony Deakin
                                        again this m-morning.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        My old man says he ran into the house
                                        screaming about what he'd seen up
                                        there.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        I heard he took an ax out of the
                                        shed and tried to chop up his m-m-
                                        mum and dad and sisters.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        No way, he saw a ghost or a witch up
                                        at the churchyard, and it sent him
                                        insane.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        My dad says it's so, the family had
                                        him i-i-institutionalized, after
                                        they took the ax off of him.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        He'd be put in a white suit in a
                                        padded cell, that's what they do you
                                        know. I reckon he saw a witch or
                                        ghoul and the family moved, this old
                                        house is haunted you know.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        The church had a bell in the
                                        thirteenth century, Miss Trim said.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        They melted it down though, after
                                        the black death, and sold it to feed
                                        the starving in the village...
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        That must be where the curse comes
                                        from. My dad says the church was
                                        cursed and the devils lives there,
                                        because they dared to melt down the
                                        bell.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Hmm.
                              
                              a STAND OF OLD ELM TREES obscures the view to the church...
                              and then the CHURCH itself suddenly appears, opening up before
                              them, huge and gothic on the hill, a moonlit sky and clouds
                              hangs ominously over it.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        That's creepy, hey, lets' go home?
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Come on, no playin' chicken, remember,
                                        let's climb over the wall and hide
                                        up inside those bushes.
                              
                              EXT. THICK BUSHES AT SIDE OF CHURCHYARD - DUSK
                              
                              Lying in wait and whispering...
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Creepy how those tombstone shadows
                                        keep getting longer.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        Pack it in Willie, I know you just
                                        want to spook me.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Ain't this fun?
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        Wonder what did spooked Anthony
                                        Deakin? Did you ever see him.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        My mum used to baby sit at the
                                        Deakin's house. She took me there a
                                        few times.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        You went inside that house.
                              
                              EXT. CHURCHYARD - EVENING - HOURS LATER
                              
                              A STRONG WIND whistling and blowing up leaves. Willie is
                              eating a doorstep sandwich whilst Meadows lies on his back
                              watching the eerie sky and MOON.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Only an ten minutes to midnight.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        I don't like this, come on, let's
                                        go.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Chicken, you go, I'm stayin'.
                              
                              Meadows watches Willie, sighs and rolls back over onto his
                              back.
                              
                              EXT. CHURCH - TEN MINUTES BEFORE MIDNIGHT
                              
                              Willies eyes are WIDE OPEN as he watches the church
                              speechless. Meadows covers his eyes.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        Is it the devil?
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        It was something evil and unnatural
                                        and-
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        Maybe we imagined it?
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Open you eyes!
                              
                              Meadows removes his hands. Up in the BELL TOWER, an ominous
                              blue light is growing in intensity.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        That ain't normal.
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        It's like that light in Poltergeist
                                        when it comes out of another world.
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                        Somebody must have a lamp up there?
                              
                                                    WILLIE
                                        Look, it's coming out from the
                                        windows.
                              
                              Meadows stands up and BOLTS.
                              
                                                    WILLIE (CONT'D)
                                        You have to stay, don't be so chicken.
                              
                              Meadows disappears into the darkness.
                              
                              EXT. CHURCH BELL TOWER - CONTINUOUS
                              
                              The light is FANNING OUT over the entire churchyard.
                              
                              Willie struggles up... as he wavers the light washes over
                              him...
                              
                              EXT. CHURCHYARD WALL - SAME
                              
                              Meadows watches...
                              
                              EXT. CHURCHYARD - MOMENTS LATER
                              
                              An eerier BLUE BULB of light encases Willie, he wavers likea
                              drunk...
                              
                              THE MOURNFUL SOUND OF A GREAT CHURCH BELL RINGS OUT...
                              
                              we are back in the thirteenth century, FIRES, begins to flare
                              up around the edges of the churchyard. Meadows turns to see
                              a procession of mourners as they follow a dead cart up towards
                              the church...
                              
                                                                               FADE TO BLACK:
                              
                              EXT. POLICE STATION - MORNING AFTER HALLOWEEN
                              
                              A grizzled constable walks into the room and places a hot
                              mug of tea down on the bland wooden desk.
                              
                              He watches the boy who sits motionless. We recognize Meadows,
                              but he's filthy, his clothes sodden, ripped and he's still
                              shivering.
                              
                                                    CONSTABLE
                                        Drink up laddy.
                              
                              Meadows stares over the constable's shoulder at the adjacent
                              wall. Another man enters the room. DCI BATES, 40s, weary,
                              clearly in charge.
                              
                                                    CONSTABLE (CONT'D)
                                        Any sign of the Sandhurst boy sir?
                              
                                                    DCI BATES
                                        Nothing yet. They're widened the
                                        search to the Deakin house now, he's
                                        been seen playing in last few weeks.
                              
                              He looks at the Meadow's boy.
                              
                                                    DCI BATES (CONT'D)
                                        Has he spoken yet?
                              
                                                    CONSTABLE
                                        No sir, he just...
                              
                              Meadows mumbles something... the two men glance at one
                              another.
                              
                                                     CONSTABLE (CONT'D)
                                            (gently)
                                        What's that lad?
                              
                              Meadows stares up into their faces, he locks eyes with the
                              men.
                              
                                                     MEADOWS
                                        I heard it...
                              
                                                     CONSTABLE
                                        What lad. You heard what...
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                            (stammering)
                                        ... the great bell, they were there,
                                        the mourners, they were ringing the
                                        bell, for the last time, like. You
                                        know?
                              
                              The men look at one another, and then back at Meadows, who
                              is staring back at the wall...
                              
                                                    MEADOWS
                                            (quietly, a whisper)
                                        The Bell...
                              
                                                                                  FADE...
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