halloween short - JASON'S LAW

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  • halloween short - JASON'S LAW

    Code:
     
                                           JASON'S LAW
    
    
    
                   INT. TELEVISION STUDIO - CONTROL ROOM - DAY
    
                   PRODUCERS, THE DIRECTOR, TAPE OPERATORS, AND AUDIO ENGINEERS
                   operate their various switchers, mixing boards, and tape
                   machines.
    
    
    
                   LIVE TELEVISION SET
    
                   CREW MEMBERS, PA's, GRIPS, and GAFFERS all scatter about.
    
                                       FLOOR MANAGER
                             And in five, four...
    
                   ...gestures three, two, and points to...
    
                                       OPRAH WINFREY
                             Heyyyyyy!!!
    
                   ...As she struts out onto the set.
    
                   The WHITE FEMALE 40-SOMETHING AUDIENCE eats it up in vibrant
                   cheer and applause.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             What's up, ya'll?!?!?!
    
                   The Audience laughs and claps even more.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Guess who's down to a size
                             siiiiiiiiiiixxx!!!!!
    
                   The audience goes bananas.  Super-enthusiastic applause and
                   happy faces.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Okay okay.  Hush hush, now.  Don't
                             wanna jinx me.
    
                   Huge laughter from the crowd.  Oprah lets them settle.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             After being found innocent by
                             temporary insanity, my guest today
                             spent two months in the Theodore
                             Bundy Institution for Mental Health
                             where he wrote a truly breathtaking
                             New York Times Bestselling
                             autobiography - Hello!?  Instant
                             Oprah book of the month classic!!! -
                             and was able to conquer the demons
                             of his past.  
    
                   Audience applause.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             We are so fortunate to hear his
                             powerful story.  Please welcome.  A
                             man who is an inspiration to us
                             all.  Fresh from England where he
                             received the distinguished honor of
                             being knighted by Her Majesty the
                             Queen.  My friend.  My mentor. 
                             Sir. Jason. Voorhees.
    
                   The Audience goes bonkers as JASON VOORHEES, 58, enters with
                   a bashful smile.
    
                   He wears a conservative suit and no mask.  His grotesque
                   disfigured face is for all to see.
    
                   Oprah greets him with a big hug.  They sway for a moment. 
                   The crowd loves it.
    
                   LATER
    
                                       OPRAH
                             So.  Somebody's been busy.
    
                                       JASON
                             Yes.  I've been in London for the
                             past few weeks--
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Oh I love London.
    
                                       JASON
                             Yeah it's very beautiful--
    
                                       OPRAH
                             And tell us what you were doing
                             there.
    
                                       JASON
                             I was on a tour.  Ummm...lakes
                             swimming pools, ponds.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             For what?
    
                                       JASON
                             I was promoting better lifeguard
                             safety.
    
                                       AUDIENCE
                             Awwwwwwwwww.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Yes.  Yes.   So important.  And
                             obviously, a deeply personal
                             subject with you.
    
                                       JASON
                             Yeah.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Aaaaand.  I believe you are also
                             considering seminars for something
                             else....?
    
                                       JASON
                             Uhhh yes.  It's in the works right
                             now.  I will be conducting seminars
                             on wilderness safety and survival.  
    
                   Audience applause.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Lovely.  Just lovely.
    
                                       JASON
                             Yeah.  It's...ya know...things I've
                             picked up over the years.  Yeah.  I
                             mention some of it in the book.
    
                                       OPRAH
                                 (gasps)
                             Oh God.  The book.  
    
                   She reaches from the coffee table and holds up a thick
                   hardcover.
    
                                       OPRAH
                                 (to camera)
                             If you do not have this book, get
                             up now, and get your butt over to
                             Barnes and Noble.
    
                   Audience chuckles.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             It went straight to The New York
                             Times Best-seller list.  And it's
                             called, "I Was A Demented
                             Psychopath Who Avenged My Mother's
                             Decapitation By Savagely Mutilating
                             Dozens Of Innocent Teenagers Until
                             I Found Jesus."
    
                   Huge Audience applause.  They all stand, clapping and
                   cheering.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Yes.  There are no words.  No words
                             to describe this book.  It has
                             become my bible.  My salvation.
    
                                       JASON
                             Well thank you.  That's...very
                             kind.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             But perhaps the most important goal
                             you've set for yourself right now
                             is...the...legislation...
    
                                       JASON
                             Yes.  I am working with some people
                             to pass a new law--
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Jason's Law.
    
                                       JASON
                             Yes.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             And tell us what that is.
    
                                       JASON
                             Well.  It's a good law.  And it
                             will drastically reduce the number
                             of child drownings we see in this
                             country.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             And how will it do that?
    
                                       JASON
                             All negligent lifeguards will be
                             punished by dismemberment.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             By dismemberment you mean....
    
                                       JASON
                             Chopping off their limbs.  You
                             know.  Things like that.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             And who will carry out the
                             punishment.
    
                                       JASON
                             Me.  I will.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             And this is something that
                             originated while you were in the
                             mental institution, right?
    
                                       JASON
                             Yes.  Both the doctors and I
                             discovered that if there was a
                             controlled environment where I
                             could release my demons...
    
                                       OPRAH
                             And also make it part of the legal
                             process...
    
                                       JASON
                             Exactly.  Yeah.  It just...ya know. 
                             It's a win win situation.  It
                             protects the children and I get to
                             participate in the justice system.
    
                   Strong Audience applause.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Yes.
    
                   Oprah claps, too.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Now.  What if I told you, that I
                             have some special guests waiting to
                             come out and meet you?
    
                                       JASON
                             Uh-oh.
    
                   Audience laughs.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Yep.  You wanna meet 'em?
    
                                       JASON
                                 (nervous laugh)
                             Okay.
    
                   Out comes JANE, 77.  In a wheelchair is HENRY, 78.  And
                   pushing Henry in the chair is DR. PHIL.
    
                   The Audience explodes.  The loudest applause yet.
    
                   Dr. Phil and Oprah hug.  
    
                   Dr. Phil and Jason shake hands.
    
                                       JASON
                             It's a pleasure to meet you.
    
                                       DR. PHIL
                             I know.
    
                                       OPRAH
                                 (to Jason)
                             Do you know who these other people
                             are?
    
                                       JASON
                             Uhhh.  Nope.
    
                   The Audience laughs.
    
                                       DR. PHIL
                             Okay.  Jason.  This is a big moment
                             in your life.  
    
                                       JASON
                             Okay...
    
                                       DR. PHIL
                             Everything has been leading up to
                             this very moment.  And it's gonna
                             be hard.
    
                                       JASON
                             Okay.
    
                                       DR. PHIL
                                 (to Jane)
                             Go ahead.
    
                   Jane takes hold of Jason's hand.
    
                                       JANE
                             Jason.  You sweet man.  
                                 (her eyes water)
                             I have been living with such guilt. 
                             Both Henry and I.  We have been
                             living with a terrible secret.
    
                                       JASON
                             Okay...?
    
                                       JANE
                             It was us, Jason.  Back in nineteen
                             fifty seven.  We were the two
                             lifeguards who let you drown.
    
                   A few Audience Members gasp.  Other than that, dead silence.
    
                                       JASON
                             What?  But...my mother...
    
                                       JANE
                             No.  She killed the wrong people. 
                             She didn't really know who it was. 
                             She acted too quickly out of rage.
    
                   Jason is stunned.  He can't speak.  His head drops.  He
                   begins to weep.
    
                   Dr. Phil puts an arm around him.
    
                                       DR. PHIL
                             It's okay.  Let it out.  You have
                             to let it out.
    
                                       JANE
                                 (crying)
                             You don't know how terribly sorry
                             we are.
    
                                       HENRY
                                 (also crying)
                             Yes.  Jason.  Please. Please
                             forgive us.
    
                   Oprah just sits back with her hand covering her mouth.  Eyes
                   wide open.
    
                    
    
                   Jason walks over and gives Jane a big hug.   And then a big
                   hug to Henry.   Everyone, including Oprah, is a crying mess.
    
                   Except Dr. Phil.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             These are the moments that make
                             this show so magical.
                                 (sobbing)
                             I am so proud to have reunited
                             these people and allow them to let
                             bye-gones be...
    
                   ...Jason suddenly pulls himself away from Henry.  He breathes
                   heavily and attacks him.  In the struggle Jason rips out the
                   mans dentures.
    
                                       OPRAH
                             Oh my lord!
    
                   The audience gasps.
    
                   THROUGH A LENS SCOPE
    
                   Jason strangles the man.  
    
                   A shot rings out!
    
                   Jason is hit in the chest.  It sends him back as he falls to
                   the ground.
    
                   HIDDEN ROOM ABOVE THE SET
    
                   JOHN WALSH, Host of America's Most Wanted, looks away from
                   the scope.  Sets the rifle aside.  Grabs a machete from a
                   case in a duffle bag.  
    
                   He climbs out of the tiny window and drops down onto 
    
                   THE SET
    
                   He rushes Jason.  And with one mighty swing takes off Jason's
                   head with the machete.  
    
                   FWAK!
    
                   The head drops to the floor and bounces at Oprah's feet.  She
                   faints instantly.
    
                   Dr. Phil scrambles to get away.
    
                   Walsh picks up Jason's head.  
    
                   Removes a grenade from his jacket.  Pops the pin.  Stuffs it
                   in Jason's mouth.  And hurls it at Dr. Phil.
    
                   BOOM!
    
                   The head explodes into a million pieces and obliterates Dr.
                   Phil's upper body.
    
                   CONTROL ROOM
    
                                       TECHNICAL DIRECTOR
                             We lost McGraw!
    
                                       DIRECTOR
                             Screw 'm!  Three - go wide!  One
                             and four - tight!
    
                   THE SET
    
                   Walsh removes another grenade from his jacket.  He lobs it
                   across the set.  It lands smack in the lap of Henry in the
                   wheelchair.
    
                   KA-BLOOEY!
    
                   Henry, his wheelchair, and Jane are all blown to smithereens.
    
                                       JOHN WALSH
                             Shame on you for letting a little
                             boy drown, you horny perverts!
    
                   ...As he bolts from the charred and smokey set.
    
                   The Audience is stunned.  Speechless.  Some ASSISTANTS help
                   Oprah up.  
    
                   Everyone looks around, wondering what to do.
    
                   Oprah puts on a smile.
    
                                       OPRAH
                                 (to camera)
                             We'll be right back after this.
    
                   FADE OUT
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