I Just Got Dumped! (Valentine's Day exercise, deadline Feb 14th)

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  • #16
    Re: I Just Got Dumped!

    Really? This contest OPENS for submissions on the 21st of January?

    That sucks -- just look at all the procrastination time I wasted!
    "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: I Just Got Dumped!

      Well done! Being positive, you still have a week to improve the script (that line of dialogue halfway down Page 4 is a little on the nose) or think up an even better idea if that's possible.
      Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
      in Writing Exercises forum

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: I Just Got Dumped!

        Originally posted by dpaterso View Post
        Well done! Being positive, you still have a week to improve the script (that line of dialogue halfway down Page 4 is a little on the nose) or think up an even better idea if that's possible.
        No, that dialogue halfway down Page 4 "isn't" on the nose. Everything else is.
        That exchange of dialogue sounds like this:

        Hi, Eggbot29, do you remember that time, yesterday, that we decided to play a trick on Karmay29, by hiding his spaceship in the bushes, down by the river, next to that big, oak tree? Remember, Eggbot29?

        Hi, Tobgge29, yes I do remember that. And when Karmay29 couldn't find it, he got so mad, steam came out of his ears and then he exploded and we had to clean up the mess! That was soooooooooo funny, Tobgge2929!

        Eggbot29 and Tobgge29 laugh at the joke they played on Karmay29.

        EGGBOT29 AND TOBGGE29
        (laughing)
        HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!

        (I added a number to the character names, so you can't recognize it in the contest.)

        As you can see -- definitely not on the nose.
        Last edited by StoryWriter; 01-14-2018, 01:59 PM.
        "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: I Just Got Dumped!

          I've got a train wreck within a train wreck within a train wreck. And that's with only a paragraph or so.


          Hey! You might do it in your house, but in this house we don't lick our butts. -- Mother Teresa

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: I Just Got Dumped!

            Originally posted by Mark Somers View Post
            I've got a train wreck within a train wreck within a train wreck. And that's with only a paragraph or so.
            Lucky [email protected]@rd!
            "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: I Just Got Dumped!

              https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...436E&FORM=VIRE

              A little entertainment to inspire us along on our way, I give you:

              THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE!



              .
              Forthcoming: The Annual, "I JUST GOT DUMPED" Valentine's Short Screenplay Writing Competition. Keep an eye on Writing Exercises.

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                Well, okay with the "Brain that Wouldn't Die" thing. I'm more irritated by the relative who will not leave. I mean, how long can he keep flipping channels? And if he buys the beer it's that light stuff with lime in it. And come on, guy, nobody wears shoes with tassels anymore.
                I've been trying to work on an idea for the story. I was talking to my wife about it, you know, have an intelligent conversation, and I said I had a question about structure. She said, "Well, my question is when you're going to take out the garbage." That sure helped.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                  "TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE"

                  Light Beer Lime Productions presents...


                  a new thriller, an honest film about expectations, will it or won't it happen, and an exciting action scene where the trash bin is raided by animals, and will we be concerned if the Xmas turkey remains are not doubled bagged or at the bottom of the bin, attracting fearsome predators: cats, mice, a bear!

                  Christmas guests who overstay their welcome, a foot sticking out of the garbage, a foot with tassels on the shoe!






                  .
                  Forthcoming: The Annual, "I JUST GOT DUMPED" Valentine's Short Screenplay Writing Competition. Keep an eye on Writing Exercises.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                    If everyone put the same energy into writing scripts, I'd have several in my inbox right now!
                    Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                    in Writing Exercises forum

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                      I have two ideas down, just thinking them over, going for two this time out.
                      Forthcoming: The Annual, "I JUST GOT DUMPED" Valentine's Short Screenplay Writing Competition. Keep an eye on Writing Exercises.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                        Originally posted by The Road Warrior View Post
                        BY ORDER OF THE MANAGEMENT:

                        NO MORE LIZARD FLICKS PLEASE!

                        So, I guess my Rango in Love masterpiece is not allowed?
                        We're making a movie here, not a film! - Kit Ramsey

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                          Originally posted by billmarq View Post
                          So, I guess my Rango in Love masterpiece is not allowed?
                          Au contraire, it is positively encouraged. All masterpieces welcome.

                          Here is last year's Valentine's Day discussion thread, with links to previous V.D. contests. Alas the contest failed, not enough entries. Hopefully we shall attract more players this year.
                          Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                          in Writing Exercises forum

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                            How are we doing? I've finished a draft, and I also received an entry in my inbox, woot.
                            Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                            in Writing Exercises forum

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                              Originally posted by dpaterso View Post
                              How are we doing? I've finished a draft, and I also received an entry in my inbox, woot.
                              I wrote one about three weeks ago, but I haven't taken a look at it since I finished it -- so I don't know how totally crappy it is and whether I want to embarrass myself with it or not. I've been mulling one idea in my head for about two weeks, but it's a little tricky and I don't know if I can make it work. And I just came up with another idea this morning while in the shower, but it's too early to see if there's anything there yet. So ... maybe (probably?) one, maybe (probably not?) two and a very outside chance of (could be?) three. Or maybe none at all.

                              Don't you like it when we're so precise?
                              STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: I Just Got Dumped!

                                And come on, guy, nobody wears shoes with tassels anymore.
                                Au contraire...

                                My latest purchase from Stacy Adams:
                                Attached Files
                                We're making a movie here, not a film! - Kit Ramsey

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