Results - "Summer Camp" writing contest



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  • Results - "Summer Camp" writing contest


                                                1st  2nd  3rd  Total
    Sometimes You Get It Wrong -- tehmorp                        0
    Sweet Summer Rosie -- dpaterso               1    3          9   
    The Encounter -- bioprofessor                2         1     7
    Martin -- Mark Somers                        2    1    1     9
    Vamp Camp -- Concar                               2    1     5
    Camp Noose Lake -- UneducatedFan             1         3     6
    1st place vote = 3 points, 2nd = 2 points, 3rd = 1 point.

    Congratulations to Mark Somers and what's his face.
    We now need to go to the Swimsuit competition to break the tie. Thanks a lot.

    A different set of readers and things could be way different.

    Thanks to all for participating.

    Please post your notes and comments in this thread. And again thanks. And you can post notes even if you didn't enter.

    Here is the Entries for this contest. Here is the Discussion of contest.
    Last edited by dpaterso; 09-30-2019, 07:34 AM.

    Hey! You might do it in your house, but in this house we don't lick our butts. -- Mother Teresa

  • #2
    Re: Results - "Summer Camp" writing contest

    Thanks to those discerning readers who threw some votes my way!

    And well done everyone for writing to theme and deadline (well kinda) which is what these things are all about. There had to be winners and there had to be non-winners, alas. Doesn't matter if you didn't score as many points as you would have liked, it's still good practice and hopefully a learning experience.

    My votes went like:

    1st - The Encounter
    2nd - Martin
    3rd - Camp Noose Lake

    And my shaky reasoning went like:

    Sometimes You get it Wrong

    My bad, I couldn't tune into the angst of an 11-year-old kid and appreciate her problems. Said problems were more like a slight inconvenience, caused by an adult's mistake, which no one really seems to care about anyway. Hope she enjoys camp!

    Sweet Summer Rosie

    Mine. I regret nothing. As always, hard to trim the S.O.B. down to a manageable size. Lost a few jokes along the way. No guarantees they would have made it funnier, though.

    The Encounter

    What an awful ending, an officer of the law is killed in the execution of his lawful duty, while a criminal escapes and is still at large. Shocking! Gets a vote.


    Mom's banging Bigfoot produced a smile but that was the only funny moment, needs more cowbell. Still gets a vote though.

    Vamp Camp

    Despite vampires, this entry did not hold me, the characters and their exchanges weren't funny enough and it just cuts off. I'm pretty sure The Hunt itself should have taken up the second half of the script. So close yet so far.

    Camp Noose Lake

    This entry executed a suspenseful build-up that held my attention, if it had continued instead of just cutting off as it did, it would likely have earned a higher spot. Still gets a vote.

    DDP Logline Throwdown IV - Mix & Match contest - deadline Sept 21


    • #3
      Re: Results - "Summer Camp" writing contest

      Congratulations to all the writers who entered, and to the folks who took the time to read and vote. My votes and brief comments:

      1. Camp Noose Camp
      2. Sweet Summer Rosie
      3. Vamp Camp

      Warning: Subjective views ahead. Feel free to keep and/or discard.

      Sometimes You Get it Wrong
      Lots of preteen female characters - too many perhaps for an 8 page short - hard to keep track of or understand why they were important to the story. Not sure what the story was trying to get across. It just kind of ends where it began without any resolution.

      Sweet Summer Rosie
      Pretty solid flip on the teenage angst at summer camp trope. A bit too much OTN dialogue between family members discussing what happened to their business- each already knows what happened. Again, not sure of the central dramatic question/theme in this one. Maybe, it's not good to stay angry and resentful.

      The Encounter
      My entry. Inspired by a true past event and our current socio-political state. Years ago, while doing trail maintenance at a regional park I came across two young guys jogging on the trail. They asked me for directions to the highway - I obliged. When I got back to the park office, the parking lot was filled with state troopers, a helicopter circled overhead. The two interlopers had escaped from a nearby prison.

      The character and action description was solid, but I just couldn't quite get why was Martin wearing a homemade cardboard suit. A metaphor for a disability? I honestly don't know or understand what happened, why it happened.

      Vamp Camp
      Well, it was vampy with all the puns and wisecracks. The dialogue very OTN. This read like the beginning of a story. Not sure I caught the ending. Some good scene description and action lines.

      Camp Noose Lake
      Good character dialogue and scene description. The story flowed like we were moving toward an ending, albeit a predictable one. Not sure what the role of all the teen characters was.


      • #4
        Re: Results - "Summer Camp" writing contest

        Was a fun writing exercise. I appreciated the opportunity to enter.

        My sentiments echo those above on the top three and they were my choices as well.

        I smell a cage fight or the writer's equivalent of a cage fight to settle the winner...maybe writing about a cage fight to determine the winner...

        The three winners were solid from top to bottom. The others were sharp and clean as well, I just liked the narrative of the top three.

        My "Camp Noose Lake" (I should have just shortened it to "Noose Lake") could be retooled to a "Stand By Me"/"Stranger Things" type feature I guess once the washed up lawman shows up. I did a poor job self editing it and found all kinds of tweaks and fixes after re-reads.

        Those who won, much deserved and I enjoyed reading each of the five others and appreciated you posting them.
        You know Jill you remind me of my mother. She was the biggest whore in Alameda and the finest woman that ever lived. Whoever my father was, for an hour or for a month, he must have been a happy man.


        • #5
          Re: Results - "Summer Camp" writing contest

          Thanks for your thoughts & comments, fun was had.

          And that was the summer camp contest, I guess!

          DDP Logline Throwdown IV - Mix & Match contest - deadline Sept 21


          • #6
            Re: Results - "Summer Camp" writing contest

            My votes:

            1st - Sweet Summer Rosie
            2nd - Vamp Camp
            3rd - The Encounter

            Sweet Summer Rosie is a lot of fun. Mom and angry Dad, especially, are hilarious. Well crafted.

            Vamp Camp also fun stuff. Ended a bit abruptly but still fun.

            The Encounter is quite a bit darker but very well executed.

            Derek's entry has incredible fart joke potential. Alas mine doesn't have that. I'd have to say given the petulance for flatulence that his story possess puts it on a whole nother plane.

            Hey! You might do it in your house, but in this house we don't lick our butts. -- Mother Teresa


            • #7
              Re: Results - "Summer Camp" writing contest

              Thanks for the vote and thanks for the comments! And for doing the admin, did I say that already? No because I'm ignorant.

              Now I wish I'd given the story its full potential.

              DDP Logline Throwdown IV - Mix & Match contest - deadline Sept 21