SL's FGMS Writing Contest (entries + results see post #34)

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  • #31
    Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

    This is weird. I've been busy and haven't checked the boards lately. I wrote "Brink of Insanity". Bad mystery solved.
    My song was " In the Air Tonight ". I always thought the drum break would make a great shooting scene. Changed that idea and ran out of time to punch it up.

    First post ever.

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    • #32
      Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

      Gasp! It was you all the time!

      Thanks for filling in the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle!
      Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum
      Your votes wanted!

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

        Sorry guys. Haven't been on for a few days. Real world stuff came pouring in.

        I'll recheck the scores this evening.
        I heard the starting gun


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        • #34
          Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

          Sunday evening and I've had a chance to go over the scores again... looks like I've royaly ****ed up.

          right just rechecking the votes from the emails... straight cut and paste from the emails with the scores added in parentheses

          1. Brink of Insanity (3) 2. Last Stop (2) 3. THOTRS (1)
          #1 Mood Ring (3) #2 Brink of Insanity (2) #3 THOTRS (1)
          1st — WOOF, WOOF (3) 2nd — Brink of Insanity (2) 3rd — Mood Ring (1)
          1st - WOOF, WOOF (3) 2nd - Mood Ring (2) 3rd - THOTRS (1)
          1 - BRINK OF INSANITY (3) 2 - THOTRS (2) 3 - MOOD RING (1)
          First - Thotrs (3) Second - Last Stop (2) Third - Woof, Woof (1)
          1. Last Stop (3) 2. Woof Woof (2) 3. Brink of Insanity (1)
          1/ THOTRS (3) 2/ Last stop (2) 3/ Woof woof (1)

          By my tally that gives Brink and THOTRS first equaL with 11 points each, Woof Woof on 10, last stop on 9 and Moodring bringing up the rear with a credible 7.

          Apologies for the mess up. I'll ante up for another read. You have 24 hrs to bring to light anymore errors
          I heard the starting gun


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          • #35
            Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

            These things happen! I've done worse!

            Congrats to finalact4 and Concar!

            Yep when I tranpose the numbers I get the same results as your redo:
            Code:
                                        1st 2nd 3rd Total
            Last Stop - dpaterso         1   3         9
            THOTRS - finalact4           2   1   3    11
            Brink of insanity - Concar   2   2   1    11
            WOOF, WOOF - StoryWriter     2   1   2    10
            Mood Ring - jmpowell7        1   1   2     7
            Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum
            Your votes wanted!

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

              Well. I am sure I would have done much better if others had seen Root Boy Slim in concert like I did in 1982.

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              • #37
                Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

                congrats, Concar!
                "Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist,- Pablo Picasso

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                • #38
                  Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

                  Originally posted by jmpowell7 View Post
                  Well. I am sure I would have done much better if others had seen Root Boy Slim in concert like I did in 1982.
                  Fat Boy Slim's little brother? "Praise You" was your inspiration song? You didn't score too badly, another couple of stray votes could easily have kicked you up into the winner's circle.
                  Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum
                  Your votes wanted!

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

                    Thank you for your kind words. Yes, "Praise You" was the song.
                    To go off topic somewhat, the contest for me illustrated the difficulty of assuming that your audience has some particularized knowledge. Teenagers may believe that you live under a rock if you are unfamiliar with pop music of the last five years, but most of them will not know that U2 was also a spy plane flown by Gary Powers over the USSR.
                    So I appreciate how gifted writers are able to entertain across a wide audience without being bland. I am not saying that most people are ignorant, only that many do not understand that all others in the world do not live as they do and have the same knowledge set.

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                    • #40
                      Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

                      Yeah true dat, the generation gap continues to widen, I doubt if my younger relatives would recognize any of my favorite song titles, or my top 10 favorite movies for that matter.

                      But while guessing who picked what song was kind of a bonus extra fun moment, it wasn't really the main thrust of the contest, which was just to write an entertaining short script. Everyone hit that target.
                      Check out the entries in the Logline Throwdown thread in Writing Exercises forum
                      Your votes wanted!

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

                        While thinking about this contest I was thinking about The Band's the weight

                        I pulled into Nazareth just a feelin' 'bout a half past dead
                        I just need to find a place where I can lay my head
                        Mister can you tell me where a man might find a bed?
                        He just grinned and shook my hand and "No" was all he said

                        And you put the load right on me
                        I picked up my bag and went lookin' for a place to hide
                        When I saw old Carmen and the Devil walkin' side by side
                        And I said, "Hey Carmen, come on will you go downtown?"
                        She said, "Well I gotta go but my friend can stick around anyhow"

                        And you put the load right on me
                        Go down Miss Moses, ain't nothin' that you can say
                        'Cause is just old Luke and Luke's waitin' on the judgment day
                        Well now Luke my friend, what about young Anna Lee?
                        He said, "Do me a favor son
                        Won't you stay and keep Anna Lee company?"

                        Take a load off Fanny
                        Take a load for free
                        Take a load off Fanny
                        And you put the load right on me

                        Crazy Chester followed me yeah, and he caught me in the fog
                        He said, "I would fix your rack, oh yeah if you'll just take Jack, my dog"
                        I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I am a peaceful man"
                        He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can?"

                        Won't ya take a load off Fanny?
                        Take a load for free
                        Take a load off Fanny

                        And you put the load right on me
                        Catch a cannon ball now, to take me down the line
                        'Cause my bag is sinkin' low and I do believe it's time
                        To get back to Miss Fanny, you know she's the only one
                        Who sent me here with her regards for everyone

                        I want you to take a load off Fanny
                        Take a load for free
                        Take a load off Fanny

                        And you put the load right on me

                        What great evocative lyrics!
                        I heard the starting gun


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                        • #42
                          Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

                          Just in case you weren't f'ing depressed enough.

                          Patty Loveless "You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive"

                          You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive
                          Patty Loveless

                          In the deep dark hills of eastern Kentucky
                          That's the place where I trace my bloodline
                          And it's there I read on a hillside gravestone

                          "You'll never leave Harlan alive"

                          Oh, my grandfather's dad crossed the Cumberland Mountains
                          Where he took a pretty girl to be his bride
                          Said, "Won't you walk with me, out of the mouth of this holler
                          or we'll never leave Harlan alive"

                          Where the sun comes up about ten in the mornin'
                          And the sun goes down about three in the day
                          And you fill your cup with whatever bitter brew you're drinkin'
                          And you spend your life just thinkin' of how to get away

                          No one ever knew there was coal in them mountains
                          Till a man from the northeast arrived
                          Wavin' hundred dollar bills, said, "I'll pay you for your minerals"
                          But he never left Harlan alive

                          Grandma sold out cheap and they moved out west of Pineville
                          To a farm where Big Richland River winds
                          And I bet they danced them a jig
                          And they laughed and sang a new song
                          "Who said we'd never leave Harlan alive"

                          But the times they got hard and tobacco wasn't sellin'
                          And old granddad knew what he'd do to survive
                          He went and dug for Harlan coal
                          And sent the money back to grandma
                          But he never left Harlan alive

                          Where the sun comes up about ten in the mornin'
                          And the sun goes down about three in the day
                          And you fill your cup with whatever bitter brew you're drinkin'
                          And you spend your life diggin' coal from the bottom of your grave

                          You'll never leave Harlan alive

                          Songwriter: Darrell Scott

                          You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG Rights Management
                          "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

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                          • #43
                            Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (the entries)

                            Excuse me, I have to go hang myself now. Thank you, Patty Loveless.

                            Patty Loveless "Three Little Babes"

                            Three Little Babes
                            Patty Loveless / The Cheiftains

                            There was a knight and lady bright
                            And three little babes had she
                            She sent them away to a far country
                            To learn their grammary

                            They hadn't been gone but a very short time
                            About three months and a day
                            Till the lark call up to this whole wide world
                            And taken those babes away

                            It was on a dark, cold Christmas night
                            When everything was still
                            She saw her three little babes come runnin'
                            Come runnin' down the hill

                            She spread a table of bread and wine
                            So they might drink and eat
                            She spread a bed of winding sheet
                            That they might sleep so sweet

                            'Take it off, take it off!', cried the oldest one
                            'Take it off, take it off!', said she
                            'I can't stay here in this wide wicked world
                            When there's a better one for me'

                            'Cold clods, cold clods down by my side
                            Cold clods, down at my feet
                            The tears my dear mother shed for me
                            Would wet my winding sheet'

                            Songwriters: Trad / Joanna Newsom

                            Three Little Babes lyrics © Emi Music Publishing Ltd., Trad
                            "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

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                            • #44
                              Re: SL's FGMS Writing Contest (entries + results see post #34)

                              Soon, thereafter, the Austrian lounge lizard was ripped apart by a mob of voracious, over-stimulated girls.
                              "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

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