October 2019 Contest + results

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  • #16
    Re: October 2019 Contest - votes by Oct 31 pls

    Originally posted by dpaterso View Post
    HAVE I WON YET?
    You’re a winner in my book, dpaterso! (and the book will be published within two fortnight’s time)
    "Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.- - Ray Bradbury

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    • #17
      Re: October 2019 Contest - votes by Oct 31 pls

      Okay folks, it's midnight on the 31st somewhere (and I think all of the entrants have voted)

      The scores

      Body in the woods....3
      Bury me Deep...........8
      Diggin' up bones........3
      Pandemic..................5
      the credit bureau.......6
      The wish...................1
      the wop....................3
      The chemist...............1

      Thank you all for entering and a special thanks to those of you who saw some value in "Body in the woods" and "Pandemic". There are special places in heaven for you.
      I heard the starting gun


      sigpic

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      • #18
        Re: October 2019 Contest - votes by Oct 31 pls

        The clear lesson here is to follow theme closely;
        Your script may be good and might be quite ghostly,
        But if you don't stay to the theme so precisely,
        You'll end up with bupkiss even if you write nicely.

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        • #19
          Re: October 2019 Contest - votes by Oct 31 pls

          Originally posted by TigerFang View Post
          You’re a winner in my book, dpaterso! (and the book will be published within two fortnight’s time)
          Why, that doesn't sound sinister at all!

          Originally posted by jmpowell7 View Post
          The clear lesson here is to follow theme closely;
          Your script may be good and might be quite ghostly,
          But if you don't stay to the theme so precisely,
          You'll end up with bupkiss even if you write nicely.
          Well played, I'd give you an extra vote if I could.

          Congrats to all for writing to theme and deadline and for giving me fun reads, and to Southern_land for admin duties.
          Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
          in Writing Exercises forum

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: October 2019 Contest + results

            Congratulations to the winners!
            "Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.- - Ray Bradbury

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: October 2019 Contest + results

              Originally posted by TigerFang View Post
              Congratulations to the winners!
              They know who they are!
              Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
              in Writing Exercises forum

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                Okay just for fun, my votes went like:

                1st - The Credit Bureau
                2nd - Pandemic
                3rd - The Wish

                And my thoughts went like:

                Body In The Woods

                Dammit I would'a just shot Sommerville, doesn't matter if they're not in the right killing spot, he's too blabby and annoying. Bert and Ernie are well named. This worked for what it was, it just missed a vote.

                Bury Me Deep

                One of mine, see, they know Sylvester's doppelganger is scheduled to be buried, so they dump Sylvester in the already dug hole and cover him over, and I should have added that line into the script, shouldn't I?

                Digging Up Bones

                Amos Moses is happy and Detective Archy Stillman is happy too, hard luck everybody else. The detective's appearance had me puzzled though, was that just luck or was he staking out the field? The repetition of their full names began to stick out after a while, I guess it's just a personal style choice, but it made a muscle under my eye twitch. Just missed a vote.

                Pandemic

                "an unconscious blond" made me think a blond-haired guy was in the wheelbarrow. Oh "common" means "c'mon" okay. What happens to her in the lab is goddamn horrific. The recorded Nixon seems to be seeing stuff as if he's actually looking at it right now. And typos abound. And it just kinda ends, dammit I wanted to know if he would ever make a breakthrough. But it's memorable for its Sci-Fi slant, gets a vote.

                The Credit Bureau

                Weird in a David Lynch bizarro characters way but well done, good twist at the end, didn't see it coming, gets the vote.

                The Wish

                I didn't realize Jollene was a female demon or genie, maybe you could mention this. Bryan's stupidity was funny. The rewrite made me groan but then it became funny too. Gets a vote!

                The Wop

                Another of mine, meh. A fevered dream in the trunk of the killer's car, then waking up to reality. Clap clap clap clap.

                The Chemist

                Wow, what a family. Good read, full of period details. Just missed a vote by a hair. I felt sorry for Tucker, he was a good boy.
                Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                in Writing Exercises forum

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                  My favorite was Bury Me Deep. I thought it was clever and written well. I appreciate these contests, as they let me compare my clunky, rigid writing (The Wish) to others who are much better with adjectives and imagery.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                    Originally posted by dpaterso View Post
                    Digging Up Bones

                    Amos Moses is happy and Detective Archy Stillman is happy too, hard luck everybody else. The detective's appearance had me puzzled though, was that just luck or was he staking out the field? The repetition of their full names began to stick out after a while, I guess it's just a personal style choice, but it made a muscle under my eye twitch. Just missed a vote.
                    Look up the names. (Reference: Amos Moses; David Wayne Spence; Frederick Bailey Deeming; Archy Stillman)

                    Originally posted by dpaterso View Post
                    The Chemist

                    Wow, what a family. Good read, full of period details. Just missed a vote by a hair. I felt sorry for Tucker, he was a good boy.
                    It seemed that one way for me to memorialize my mother, father, brother, and our dog was to put them in an 8-page script for this contest. Glad that I skipped dinner those two days.
                    "Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.- - Ray Bradbury

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                      Originally posted by TigerFang
                      So noted! If their being real matters then BASED ON ACTUAL PERSONS at the top might not have gone amiss. Not sure if that changes my thoughts on the repetitive use of their full names, though?

                      I hope the author sought permission from the families & estates to use the names and likenesses of real persons in a work of fiction! /ducks and runs

                      Originally posted by TigerFang View Post
                      It seemed that one way for me to memorialize my mother, father, brother, and our dog was to put them in an 8-page script for this contest. Glad that I skipped dinner those two days.
                      LOL to that one.
                      Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                      in Writing Exercises forum

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                        Originally posted by dpaterso View Post
                        So noted! If their being real matters then BASED ON ACTUAL PERSONS at the top might not have gone amiss. Not sure if that changes my thoughts on the repetitive use of their full names, though?

                        I hope the author sought permission from the families & estates to use the names and likenesses of real persons in a work of fiction! /ducks and runs
                        All of them are either dead or are fictional characters in the Public Domain.
                        Last edited by TigerFang; 11-03-2019, 08:39 AM.
                        "Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.- - Ray Bradbury

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                          Originally posted by dpaterso View Post

                          Quote: “It seemed that one way for me to memorialize my mother, father, brother, and our dog was to put them in an 8-page script for this contest. Glad that I skipped dinner those two days.”

                          LOL to that one.
                          Why are you laughing at that? My mother did this. My family is dead.
                          "Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.- - Ray Bradbury

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                            Originally posted by jmpowell7 View Post
                            My favorite was Bury Me Deep. I thought it was clever and written well. I appreciate these contests, as they let me compare my clunky, rigid writing (The Wish) to others who are much better with adjectives and imagery.
                            I figured including a good-looking widow-woman with good legs busting a chair over a clown's back had to get a vote or two.
                            Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                            in Writing Exercises forum

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                              The scoring has been requested. Hopefully the formatting holds up in some respects.

                              Southern-Land..... Body in the woods .... 1 2 .............= 3
                              Dpaterso ........... Bury me Deep ......... 2 3 1 2 ..........= 8
                              Tiger Fang .....'''. Diggin' up bones ............ 3 ........... = 3
                              Southern-Land . Pandemic.............. 2 3 ............... = 5
                              john ................. the credit bureau ....... 3 3 ........... = 6
                              jmpowell7 ....... The wish ............... 1 .................. = 1
                              Dpaterso .......... the wop .............. 1 2 ................. = 3
                              Tiger Fang ....... The chemist............... 1 ................ = 1

                              ....
                              Last edited by Southern_land; 11-03-2019, 09:27 AM.
                              I heard the starting gun


                              sigpic

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                              • #30
                                Re: October 2019 Contest + results

                                Thank you discerning readers for your votes!

                                A couple of folks I half-expected to enter, didn't enter. We are literally down to a handful.

                                Related perhaps, usually there's some opinions and discussion following the results announcements, but like the previous contest, even that's falling away too.

                                tolling_bell.wav
                                Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
                                in Writing Exercises forum

                                Comment

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