Can this be done? I think I did.

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  • Can this be done? I think I did.

    I want to know if this makes sense to you guys.

    I wrote a TV DRAMA that is procedural in one aspect, serial in another. The theme carries through both stories, but the structure is wishbone in execution.

    The A story will involve the series regular main character meeting up with the guest star and changing his/her life in what appears to be a minor way. But it isn't. It's a life-altering interaction for the guest star, who then leaves and has an adventure that is part of his challenge/new perspective. He/She muddles through to resolve their issue (either positively or negatively), while the series regular main character is living his life (with all the problems, struggles, etc.) in the B story.

    There will be some overlap (like a six degrees of separation) where other characters in the story end up interacting with the guest star or main star and influence them, but... and this is important: THE GUEST STAR AND SERIES STAR NEVER MEET AGAIN AFTER THEIR INITIAL CONTACT. Through "supernatural" means, the main character only finds out at the end of the show if the general outcome for the guest star was positive or negative, and he keeps score.

    That's it. This is the wishbone structure I'm talking about.

    Do you guys see a problem with this? The script is written and I think I pulled it off (IMHO), but I'm wondering if it makes sense on its face.

    Let 'er rip, guys!
    Last edited by Chakala; 04-09-2013, 01:04 AM. Reason: Clarity
    I'm always right.

  • #2
    Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

    Even if this was incredibly well written, I'm not sure if it's something a network would latch onto. It doesn't really sound like your main character does anything. He/she has an interaction with the guest star and then doesn't see them for the remainder of the episode? Who are we rooting for? Why are we invested? Makes your protagonist sound very passive.

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    • #3
      Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

      Very good point, UP!

      However, the protag is very active in his own story (as is the guest star). He's dealing with the 'supernatural' influence and how it's pretty much upended his life (and relationships, business, friends, etc.). He struggles and makes decisions and actively engages in his trying to wrangle his 'new' life.

      Oh, and this is a TV writing sample. I wish God that someone would think about buying it! It would change the face of television! LOL
      I'm always right.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

        Originally posted by Chakala View Post
        The A story will involve the series regular main character meeting up with the guest star and changing his/her life in what appears to be a minor way. But it isn't. It's a life-altering interaction for the guest star, who then leaves and has an adventure that is part of his challenge/new perspective. He/She muddles through to resolve their issue (either positively or negatively), while the series regular main character is living his life (with all the problems, struggles, etc.) in the B story.
        So it's a life altering event that seems minor... is it something that's minor to the main character? Or does the main character know they're changing lives?

        Originally posted by Chakala View Post
        There will be some overlap (like a six degrees of separation) where other characters in the story end up interacting with the guest star or main star and influence them, but... and this is important: THE GUEST STAR AND SERIES STAR NEVER MEET AGAIN AFTER THEIR INITIAL CONTACT. Through "supernatural" means, the main character only finds out at the end of the show if the general outcome for the guest star was positive or negative, and he keeps score.
        I'm not sure about the supernatural knowledge... especially since it just seems like it'll dovetail but you don't want to call it a dovetail.

        If you wrote it, and it works... it works! We can't validate it based on a rough sketch of it. And the only test is in the writing. If the writing pulls it off, you pulled it off.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

          Originally posted by Chakala View Post
          I want to know if this makes sense to you guys.

          I wrote a TV DRAMA that is procedural in one aspect, serial in another. The theme carries through both stories, but the structure is wishbone in execution.

          The A story will involve the series regular main character meeting up with the guest star and changing his/her life in what appears to be a minor way. But it isn't. It's a life-altering interaction for the guest star, who then leaves and has an adventure that is part of his challenge/new perspective. He/She muddles through to resolve their issue (either positively or negatively), while the series regular main character is living his life (with all the problems, struggles, etc.) in the B story.

          There will be some overlap (like a six degrees of separation) where other characters in the story end up interacting with the guest star or main star and influence them, but... and this is important: THE GUEST STAR AND SERIES STAR NEVER MEET AGAIN AFTER THEIR INITIAL CONTACT. Through "supernatural" means, the main character only finds out at the end of the show if the general outcome for the guest star was positive or negative, and he keeps score.

          That's it. This is the wishbone structure I'm talking about.

          Do you guys see a problem with this? The script is written and I think I pulled it off (IMHO), but I'm wondering if it makes sense on its face.

          Let 'er rip, guys!
          If the majority of the episode is about someone I'm not going to see again, why should I tune in next week? TV is all about great character work, because we follow those characters from week to week. I think you're going to have a very tough time having a protagonist of the week, while the main character more or less is relegated to the backseat. This is, IMO, why the show Touch never worked. It was all about connecting a group of characters that you wouldn't see the following week. Then again, I'm not a staffed writer so what the hell do I know?
          "Write every day. Don't quit. The rest is all bullshit." - Brian Koppelman

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          • #6
            Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

            Originally posted by mge457 View Post
            If the majority of the episode is about someone I'm not going to see again, why should I tune in next week? TV is all about great character work, because we follow those characters from week to week. I think you're going to have a very tough time having a protagonist of the week, while the main character more or less is relegated to the backseat. This is, IMO, why the show Touch never worked. It was all about connecting a group of characters that you wouldn't see the following week. Then again, I'm not a staffed writer so what the hell do I know?
            The anthology series mechanism has worked well for many shows (though not necessarily recently) -- Twilight Zone, Tales from the Crypt, Alfred Hitchcock, and Outer Limits come to mind right away. I'm not saying that Chakala's show fits this paradigm, or is even decently written. But if it is, if it really knocks people on their asses, then buyers will buy, and viewers will find a reason to tune in.

            This isn't the place to ask "will this work", though. The place to answer that question is in Hollywood and Burbank, Los Angeles and Studio City. Chakala, if you really think you nailed it, stop wishing and start working. Please go out and change the face of television. It could use a good shakeup!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

              Originally posted by Chakala View Post
              I want to know if this makes sense to you guys.

              I wrote a TV DRAMA that is procedural in one aspect, serial in another. The theme carries through both stories, but the structure is wishbone in execution.

              The A story will involve the series regular main character meeting up with the guest star and changing his/her life in what appears to be a minor way. But it isn't. It's a life-altering interaction for the guest star, who then leaves and has an adventure that is part of his challenge/new perspective. He/She muddles through to resolve their issue (either positively or negatively), while the series regular main character is living his life (with all the problems, struggles, etc.) in the B story.

              There will be some overlap (like a six degrees of separation) where other characters in the story end up interacting with the guest star or main star and influence them, but... and this is important: THE GUEST STAR AND SERIES STAR NEVER MEET AGAIN AFTER THEIR INITIAL CONTACT. Through "supernatural" means, the main character only finds out at the end of the show if the general outcome for the guest star was positive or negative, and he keeps score.

              That's it. This is the wishbone structure I'm talking about.

              Do you guys see a problem with this? The script is written and I think I pulled it off (IMHO), but I'm wondering if it makes sense on its face.

              Let 'er rip, guys!

              Would this work for an story arc (two-to-four episodes) or a whole season? I ask because I don't know if you can hook an audience with this premise. Shows like "Burn Notice" and "Justified" work because their seasons starts with an umbrella mission for the hero, but is quickly turned into a B plot since the hero must deal with side mission (one per ep). The umbrella mission's beneath the surface of the season until the last two-to-three episodes.
              "A screenwriter is much like being a fire hydrant with a bunch of dogs lined up around it.- -Frank Miller

              "A real writer doesn't just want to write; a real writer has to write." -Alan Moore

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

                Thanks, guys, for the input.

                I guess there ain't nothin' to it but to do it... so I'm gonna take MoviePen's (and others') advice and put it out there. If it falls, it falls, but if it flies..?
                I'm always right.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

                  Originally posted by MoviePen View Post
                  The anthology series mechanism has worked well for many shows (though not necessarily recently) -- Twilight Zone, Tales from the Crypt, Alfred Hitchcock, and Outer Limits come to mind right away. I'm not saying that Chakala's show fits this paradigm, or is even decently written. But if it is, if it really knocks people on their asses, then buyers will buy, and viewers will find a reason to tune in.

                  This isn't the place to ask "will this work", though. The place to answer that question is in Hollywood and Burbank, Los Angeles and Studio City. Chakala, if you really think you nailed it, stop wishing and start working. Please go out and change the face of television. It could use a good shakeup!
                  We need more responses like this on these forums, nice and positive
                  www.JustinSloanAuthor.com

                  http://www.CreativeWritingCareer.com
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                  Twitter: @JustinMSloan

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                  • #10
                    Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

                    I'm intrigued. I wouldn't mind giving it a read before you toss it to the wolves.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

                      i am all for breaking the mold, and trying things that are new. you seem passionate about it so do it! and.....

                      i dont think there is a present day series that has used this type of device, tho as mentioned, in the past you had more things like this. the touched by an angel paradigm kind of comes to mind, but i dont think thats what youre describing. im sure its been articulated, but the schema as you toss it out there violates a couple "tv rules". and i just want to say, tv rules are tv rules for a reason. its not arbitrary. its the kind of storytelling audiences tend to respond to. there has to be a damn good reason for breaking them, a reason thats more than a hunch or an experiment. which is not to say dont do it. if you break the rules and they do respond, you're a hero.
                      one thing i will say? its HARD to follow the rules. really hard. which is why there are rules. i know thats counterintuitive. but you're breaking two of the rules its easiest to break, rules that i feel like breaking all the time, because its frankly easier than really working out the story. and execs will (usually rightly) drag you back time after time to follow them.
                      the rules are 1. the hero should be the prime mover and initiate the major action. not be reactive. 2. unless you're a full on procedural, the people you most care about shouldnt be occupying different worlds. the easiest thing to do is to write stories for each character that dont deeply intersect each other, to keep them seperate. the WORK is having them dovetail in meaningful ways.

                      good luck!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

                        Originally posted by Madbandit View Post
                        Would this work for an story arc (two-to-four episodes) or a whole season? I ask because I don't know if you can hook an audience with this premise. Shows like "Burn Notice" and "Justified" work because their seasons starts with an umbrella mission for the hero, but is quickly turned into a B plot since the hero must deal with side mission (one per ep). The umbrella mission's beneath the surface of the season until the last two-to-three episodes.
                        I REALLY like this comment -- as this is what I attempted to do (...and was at least confirmed by onna our vaunted advisers) ...in my new (?) twist, one-hour now making the contest rounds. To me, this gives the audience TWO reasons for the oh-so-important "tune-in next week" factor. (A) They get a satisfying, ended-out procedural they want to experience anew next week and (B) they want to see the next major beat in the -- how you so aptly put it -- "umbrella mission." And for that matter (C) to me, a completed-each-week procedural would fair a lot better as a syndication-sell...but that's well beyond my limited market view!!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Can this be done? I think I did.

                          Originally posted by YakMan View Post
                          I REALLY like this comment -- as this is what I attempted to do (...and was at least confirmed by onna our vaunted advisers) ...in my new (?) twist, one-hour now making the contest rounds. To me, this gives the audience TWO reasons for the oh-so-important "tune-in next week" factor. (A) They get a satisfying, ended-out procedural they want to experience anew next week and (B) they want to see the next major beat in the -- how you so aptly put it -- "umbrella mission." And for that matter (C) to me, a completed-each-week procedural would fair a lot better as a syndication-sell...but that's well beyond my limited market view!!!
                          I. Am. Not. Alone.
                          I'm always right.

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