How do the pros end a query?

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  • How do the pros end a query?

    I used to write: I look forward to hearing from you. But grammarly says its passive aggressive. Their recommendations aren't that great either.

    When I started I used to write: Screenplay available on request. But now I leave that out.

  • #2
    Re: How do the pros end a query?

    How on earth could "I look forward to hearing from you" be considered passive aggressive?

    Grammarly is an idiotic robot that is over-advertised AND unnecessary because Google Docs and Word and pretty much any word processing program already does these things for free.

    /end rant

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: How do the pros end a query?

      Pros are not generally sending queries. Their reps will in some fashion -- phone call or quick email -- but most pros don't need to themselves. Not saying it never happens, but they are working at a different level. Their rep would probably set up a pitch meeting if a company showed interest in what their rep presented initially and talked up.

      I say, sign it with something simple such as:

      "Thank you for any consideration.

      Sincerely,

      Your Name"

      I should add, that "I look forward to hearing from you" is not passive aggressive as cvolante noted, but it is a little presumptuous. You're assuming they will naturally write you back when most likely they will not, especially if this is a cold query. It could be a hair off putting for some, depending on the day. Now, if someone requested a script from you, a rewrite, a treatment, etc. and you are working on something together, then fine -- there is an established relationship.
      Last edited by Done Deal Pro; 05-24-2019, 08:16 AM. Reason: Grammar; not grammarly
      Will
      Done Deal Pro
      www.donedealpro.com

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How do the pros end a query?

        I am not a pro, but I have made money writing, have 2 optioned scripts and I always have something out floating around. I end mine as follows.

        I am looking for the right partner to help me bring this project to life.

        Let me know if I can send ___________ for your consideration.


        Eric
        Eric
        www.scriptreadguaranteed.com

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How do the pros end a query?

          Originally posted by cvolante View Post
          How on earth could "I look forward to hearing from you" be considered passive aggressive?

          Grammarly is an idiotic robot that is over-advertised AND unnecessary because Google Docs and Word and pretty much any word processing program already does these things for free.

          /end rant
          ^^this^^

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How do the pros end a query?

            Not a pro, except for my dribble from Amazon.com for my eBooks, but since you asked:

            I look forward to sending the script or synopsis to you. You are also
            welcome to visit my website to freely preview this or any of my stories,
            which are in a wide range of genres and budget levels.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How do the pros end a query?

              Pros don't need to send queries, so there's that...

              How do I end my query as a person who had success with them?


              Thanks for your consideration.

              Best,

              Bono Vox


              All the extra words like "screenplay available on request" are just stuff that you don't need in queries. It's understood. Why else would you be querying? It's literally a please request my screenplay the entire email.

              Less is more. Even in query.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How do the pros end a query?

                Originally posted by harbak View Post
                I am not a pro, but I have made money writing, have 2 optioned scripts and I always have something out floating around. I end mine as follows.

                I am looking for the right partner to help me bring this project to life.

                Let me know if I can send ___________ for your consideration.


                Eric
                Huh? No offense, but why would you ask if you can send something? Just send it. You're essentially asking them to beg you to send it. Just send it or they won't look at it. Saying you're looking for someone to bring the project to life? It's implied, no? Don't need it IMO. And what is "to life" anyway? Film is fake.

                Just say "Thank you for your consideration!"

                That's it. Name. Out...
                Last edited by GucciGhostXXX; 06-22-2019, 06:45 PM.
                Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How do the pros end a query?

                  Originally posted by Done Deal Pro View Post
                  Pros are not generally sending queries. Their reps will in some fashion -- phone call or quick email -- but most pros don't need to themselves. Not saying it never happens, but they are working at a different level. Their rep would probably set up a pitch meeting if a company showed interest in what their rep presented initially and talked up.

                  I say, sign it with something simple such as:

                  "Thank you for any consideration.

                  Sincerely,

                  Your Name"

                  I should add, that "I look forward to hearing from you" is not passive aggressive as cvolante noted, but it is a little presumptuous. You're assuming they will naturally write you back when most likely they will not, especially if this is a cold query. It could be a hair off putting for some, depending on the day. Now, if someone requested a script from you, a rewrite, a treatment, etc. and you are working on something together, then fine -- there is an established relationship.
                  Not attempting to argue your general point. I agree almost entirely.

                  Although, interesting scenario played out for me the other day. I contacted a producer (two Oscars for best pic in the last few years, bet you can guess who, but let's not name him). Anyway, I emailed him direct. I've known him for years as an acquaintance. We aren't best buds, but he has been to my party, we've done shots (I'm the shot Nazi! You ain't getting in/out of my party without throwing some back). But, he responded to my emails, no lie, in 10 minutes or less. Then when my rep sent the soft pitch inquiring if he could send him the materials he didn't respond. My rep finally just sent it. He still didn't respond. I spoke with my rep, and he's like "Idunno man, maybe you should just reach out to him yourself." I did. Literally responded to my email 3 minutes after I sent it. And another time the same day at midnight.

                  Point: I say, whomever is going to be the most effective should just go for it. Not that you aren't saying that. I've just never had that happen where me taking the lead was more effective than my rep.
                  Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: How do the pros end a query?

                    i haven't been paid to write yet, but have worked with studios/prodcos through a manager.

                    when i send my own queries, which are short i include: title, genre, logline, i simply end it with... "if this pitch interests you, i'd be happy to send a pdf for your convenience."

                    i have had numerous read requests and not one asked me any personal questions. i say that because some people believe you have to include something about yourself and you don't. i do, however, have a link to my website in my signature.

                    my previous manager would simply call the contact, ask to send the script, then sent it with the logline and, "thanks for your consideration."

                    he never got wordy.
                    "Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy b/c you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say." -- Edward Snowden

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: How do the pros end a query?

                      Originally posted by finalact4 View Post
                      i haven't been paid to write yet, but have worked with studios/prodcos through a manager.

                      when i send my own queries, which are short i include: title, genre, logline, i simply end it with... "if this pitch interests you, i'd be happy to send a pdf for your convenience."

                      i have had numerous read requests and not one asked me any personal questions. i say that because some people believe you have to include something about yourself and you don't. i do, however, have a link to my website in my signature.

                      my previous manager would simply call the contact, ask to send the script, then sent it with the logline and, "thanks for your consideration."

                      he never got wordy.

                      Can I offer some advice?

                      You are correct, no one cares about your personal stuff until AFTER they've read you and love it... *unless it's interesting.* Are you a homicide detective? ADD IT! One line. That's sellable. If you work at Target, no one cares.

                      The advice part: MAKE IT EASY for them to just read it. You're adding an EXTRA unnecessary step to ***STOP*** them from reading you. WHY? Just attach it. "please see script attached if you're interested." All you gotta say. They won't be offended.

                      Feel me?

                      GIVE them the script NOW! Why let them just not respond? They're WAY more likely to read it if it's right there in their face. SEND IT!

                      Good luck!
                      Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: How do the pros end a query?

                        Reminds me of an exchange I had just this past Friday, to a company that does kids TV almost exclusively. My pitch:

                        (Subject line) Project pitch enquiry

                        Hi, I've pitched a few projects to you over the years, but since I write mostly features we haven't been able to connect.

                        I do want to mention that among the many stories I've written are two set in a world of magic-realism about people and their beloved pets.

                        They are both PG-rated, coming-of-age, Adventure Drama Family stories with depth, for the entire family, in the vein of "Bridge to Terabithia". However, once again, they are features, and I don't see an easy path to turn them into series for pre-adolescents, which appears to be your main target audience.

                        Still, might you be interested in evaluating such projects? Thanks!
                        Their response:

                        Thank-you for your email. I have attached a submission agreement form for you to sign and send back. Once received, I can pass along your email to the appropriate department.
                        Okay, so do you think they mean to send the script/synopsis files, along with their submission release, or just to fill in the release and attach to their response (which included my original pitch) and let them forward that on to the 'appropriate department'?

                        I won't tell you how I responded ; what would you folks do?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: How do the pros end a query?

                          Originally posted by GucciGhostXXX View Post
                          Can I offer some advice?

                          You are correct, no one cares about your personal stuff until AFTER they've read you and love it... *unless it's interesting.* Are you a homicide detective? ADD IT! One line. That's sellable. If you work at Target, no one cares.

                          The advice part: MAKE IT EASY for them to just read it. You're adding an EXTRA unnecessary step to ***STOP*** them from reading you. WHY? Just attach it. "please see script attached if you're interested." All you gotta say. They won't be offended.

                          Feel me?

                          GIVE them the script NOW! Why let them just not respond? They're WAY more likely to read it if it's right there in their face. SEND IT!

                          Good luck!
                          many companies require you to sign a release before they will ever accept your script. they have to protect themselves from potential litigation first. they have a "no unsolicited policy." respect their policy, send a query, if the logline is strong enough they will ask you to send the script, at which point it becomes "solicited."

                          the last thing an unrepped writer needs is to be placed on a "block writer" list.

                          i feel you, but i've never heard of anyone getting a legitimate read that way. has that worked for you? has it worked for anyone else?

                          if it's your rep sending it to someone they have a relationship with, it's a different story.

                          all advice is welcome.
                          "Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy b/c you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say." -- Edward Snowden

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How do the pros end a query?

                            Originally posted by catcon View Post
                            Reminds me of an exchange I had just this past Friday, to a company that does kids TV almost exclusively. My pitch:



                            Their response:


                            Okay, so do you think they mean to send the script/synopsis files, along with their submission release, or just to fill in the release and attach to their response (which included my original pitch) and let them forward that on to the 'appropriate department'?

                            I won't tell you how I responded ; what would you folks do?
                            SEND THE SCRIPT TOO!

                            Always cut any unnecessary steps IMO. People are slammed which makes them lazy. Writers are too polite, to their detriment. You want something done? DO IT!

                            They can see that you signed it. Give them the script RIGHT NOW! BOOM! It's easier for them. Always make it easy to read you. You won't offend them. They roll their eyes when you make it hard. Literally, they're thinking "Dude... just send the friggin script, I ain't gonna beg you, I'm busy!"

                            Think of it as if you were on the receiving end. You'd just want people to not waste your time with the back and forth dance, correct? You'd prefer they just sent it and you'll decide to read or not. Right?

                            Don't worry about legalities. They can ask for a release later if they're interested.

                            Good luck!
                            Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: How do the pros end a query?

                              Originally posted by catcon View Post
                              Reminds me of an exchange I had just this past Friday, to a company that does kids TV almost exclusively. My pitch:



                              Their response:


                              Okay, so do you think they mean to send the script/synopsis files, along with their submission release, or just to fill in the release and attach to their response (which included my original pitch) and let them forward that on to the 'appropriate department'?

                              I won't tell you how I responded ; what would you folks do?
                              in this case i would attach the script because they are protected with the release and she can always delete it before forwarding if that's their policy. it doesn't sound like they're the decision maker.
                              "Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy b/c you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say." -- Edward Snowden

                              Comment

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