Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

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  • Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

    Lemme be real as fukk for a sec about this biz... fukk it, why not?

    I've done so much sh!t in different mediums where I got CLOSE, but nope, never broke wide. Not because I'm desperate to be famous and trying anything and everything, NAH!, I don't give a fukk about fame, I'm an artist to the core. I've never had a real job... EVER.

    I've done...

    MODELING: Booked sh!t. LA Fashion Week. National commercial. Nike international show. etc. Modeled internationally, but never broke wide.

    BANDS: Last band the guitarist left to go on tour with FEAR. Then The Breeders. Bassist left to tour with Mr. Big (if you're a little kid you've never heard of these bands)

    SOLO MUCISIAN: Michael Jackson's manager was interested in me for a half a second.

    MUSIC PRODUCER/ENGINEER: Did my rounds at many of the go to studios. NRG. Chello. Record Plant. Westlake. Ocean Way.

    FILM COMPOSER: Did ghosting for for certain composers. Finally got an multi-million dollar indie gig. Got fired.

    BECAME A SCREENWRITER: Signed with big agency. Sold. Developed with fancy people. Etc. Far as I've made it in screenwriting.

    ART: Designed my own sh!t. Half the art in my home is my design. I've been asked to design sh!t for others. Offered a job by an interior designer. Turned it down to write.

    MANAGER: Sold a hit film.

    But...

    Nothing's really clicked in a BIG WAY. Idk, maybe I'm just not talented "ENOUGH." Not false modesty, dead serious. Possible. Yet, the fukkin weird thing is I'm positive I fukk up some writers above me. No offense to them, not saying they ain't good, just, that they ain't fukkin better than me.

    ORRRRR... I kinda wonder if I have a fukk ton of experience in a lot of things that are all traits a director must possess, and maybe I should just figure out how to direct this FUKKIN SH!T MYSELF and stop waiting around for these idiots to say "Yes."

    Feel me?

    POINT: I just wonder if a lot of us are making the same dumb mistakes I've made of getting close, but never a firm "YES!".


    (Hope I don't have to delete this post too...)
    Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

  • #2
    Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

    I feel you
    Last edited by Hernan Giaggio; 08-22-2019, 11:51 AM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

      Well, it's one thing to have multiple interests, but being a "jack of all trades but master of none" is a tough thing. Kinda feels like you've done everything possible to chase success in entertainment in any way you can by throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall hoping something, anything sticks. As opposed to chasing a focused passion. Maybe the solution is taking some 'me time' and doing a deep dive to figure out where your real calling lies (i.e. what gets you the most excited, what you're best at, etc) and focusing entirely on that, and honing your skills within it... diving in fully and living 100% in that zone until you reach the level you aspire to be at.
      Last edited by Lahlowen; 08-22-2019, 10:57 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

        There are a lot of these navel-gazing exercises going on here on DDPro these days, which are of no interest to me whatsoever.

        But it is easy to get sucked in, so let me bring out the old sports metaphor. I'll use hockey, but it can be anything:

        The fastest player on the ice is the one who just made a mistake
        This might also apply to the person who has wasted a lot of time in their life, or made a lot of poor choices, or even has had a lot of bad luck (but don't let that be your excuse, ie. that it was everybody else's fault).

        That is, this person could very well be the one with the greatest personal incentive to get over their problem(s) and reach their goal(s). Meanwhile, others watching might wonder what in the 'ell their motivation is, and what keeps them going. (Secretly? Yeah, a little fear or desperation can do wonders!)

        It can be hard, but you have to parlay the sense of helplessness, or sense of unfairness of it all, or general lack of hope, to focus on what you need to do -- and to stick with it! Your competition is counting on your conceding defeat!

        In my view, persistence is a proactive element of optimism. It takes a goal out of the realm of dream (passive) and moves it to the possible.

        And we may think foolishly that we have unlimited time to accomplish this. As a matter of fact, most of us do have decades or at least many years ahead of us, barring unforeseen wars, accidents or illness. But we want to spend as little of it as possible on the outside and as much as possible on the inside, right?

        Hey, our loved ones already love us, no matter what stinkers or failures we are, or that we think we are. (It's why I've never shown my scripts to my 'loved ones')

        But strangers (the public at large) will judge us by what we are or have done by the end, not so much for we did for the decades leading up to that point. This sounds cruel, but maybe it's what we need to think about to focus on our goal versus all that we've have to do to try to reach it. I'm sure that none of us here are looking to have stupid statues put up, or schools named after us, but instead will feel totally complete in our graves if there're one or more little films in circulation for future generations to see.

        So, hopefully, let's take all the tough lessons from our past and "bring it home" as they say, or "get it across the goal line", or "clear the fence", or whatever metaphor you want to employ.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

          The important thing GUCCI is you're good looking and they can't take that away from you!

          My writing partner is more like you (except ugly). He wants to do like 6 to 98 things at once. And he tries to do those things. Stand Up. Acting. Directing. Writing. Producing. Reality Shows. Podcasts. Foodie Stuff. Music Reviews... anything and everything.

          I wanted to focus 100% on writing. We had issues because things would come up and he'd talk about "can I act in our pilot" -- and stuff like that. And of course finding time to write together when he's off doing comedy on stage...

          Ironically we stopped working together and I thought I'd get more done and yet I stopped writing and he wrote more than every himself. He hasnt' had success in that dept w/o me (scripts are good just saying).

          But I guess part of misses his manic energy and zest for life. He's non stop commitment to being an artist. Like you Gucci. That means something. You do have to be a crazy person to live this life, don't you? And to know what you want and not make it kills a soul. I get it. So part of the artist says, well if I can't get my first choice of career, let me get my backup career or my 4th backup. But deep down inside probbaly something you love the most. Let's say it's making movies. For me its' writing movies. I always dreamed of writing/directing my own movie, but now I don't know if I can do it. Or ever could.

          I honestly don't know how you're supposed to talk to actors. Im sure I can figure it out as I can talk to anyone, but it just sounds like a great way for people to hate you. I like making the decisions and being in charge, but I also don't have the confidence, so I guess I will never reach that dream. My writing partner is unafraid. I guess I'm drawn to that safety net...

          Maybe you should write/direct your own movie. Put all your skills together. Act. Write. Direct. Produce. Set Design. Composer. Sell. Push. Market.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

            Originally posted by GucciGhostXXX View Post
            Lemme be real as fukk for a sec about this biz... fukk it, why not?

            I've done so much sh!t in different mediums where I got CLOSE, but nope, never broke wide. Not because I'm desperate to be famous and trying anything and everything, NAH!, I don't give a fukk about fame, I'm an artist to the core. I've never had a real job... EVER.

            I've done...

            MODELING: Booked sh!t. LA Fashion Week. National commercial. Nike international show. etc. Modeled internationally, but never broke wide.

            BANDS: Last band the guitarist left to go on tour with FEAR. Then The Breeders. Bassist left to tour with Mr. Big (if you're a little kid you've never heard of these bands)

            SOLO MUCISIAN: Michael Jackson's manager was interested in me for a half a second.

            MUSIC PRODUCER/ENGINEER: Did my rounds at many of the go to studios. NRG. Chello. Record Plant. Westlake. Ocean Way.

            FILM COMPOSER: Did ghosting for for certain composers. Finally got an multi-million dollar indie gig. Got fired.

            BECAME A SCREENWRITER: Signed with big agency. Sold. Developed with fancy people. Etc. Far as I've made it in screenwriting.

            ART: Designed my own sh!t. Half the art in my home is my design. I've been asked to design sh!t for others. Offered a job by an interior designer. Turned it down to write.

            MANAGER: Sold a hit film.

            But...

            Nothing's really clicked in a BIG WAY. Idk, maybe I'm just not talented "ENOUGH." Not false modesty, dead serious. Possible. Yet, the fukkin weird thing is I'm positive I fukk up some writers above me. No offense to them, not saying they ain't good, just, that they ain't fukkin better than me.

            ORRRRR... I kinda wonder if I have a fukk ton of experience in a lot of things that are all traits a director must possess, and maybe I should just figure out how to direct this FUKKIN SH!T MYSELF and stop waiting around for these idiots to say "Yes."

            Feel me?

            POINT: I just wonder if a lot of us are making the same dumb mistakes I've made of getting close, but never a firm "YES!".


            (Hope I don't have to delete this post too...)
            The pursuit of anything entertainment based is never what anyone thinks it will be. Why? This is my opinion only, but all most people see when they indulge in it is the end product. People watch TV and films. People listen to music and read books. People look at beautiful people walking down runways or in fashion ads and never once think about the incredibly hard work it took to make any of that happen successfully. How hard it is to sustain. Then some of them think.... I can do that. I'll do that and become rich, too. I'm not saying this is you... I'm talking in general. I call these people the Rainbow Unicorn Yellow Brick Road Brigade.

            The ones who write one script in two weeks then expect to get it to Speilberg. Or sell their TV Show idea because that's how it works, right? Never a thought to the dedicated dehumanizing psychologically bone crushing obstacle course 99.9% of people successful in these endeavors took. They just saw the end product and thought it magically appeared showering money and fame on all involved.

            They have no idea what these successful people had to do to get there. The people who succeeded because they were open to really learning, hungry for real knowledge about how these BUSINESSES, these industries, work. These people were unafraid of what they found out even though it's scary as ****. They accepted the challenge and were single minded in their journey to success. And they did the hard work, rejected the rejections, and never gave up, even though for almost all of them it took years. Some of them a decade or more.

            I didn't have my first produced film until 15 years after I wrote my first script. Hundreds of rejections from every arena of this business. Doors I couldn't get through. Rooms I couldn't get in. But if you want this, you don't give up. You learn from each failure. Now... I have 15 produced films and you know what? I still have to fight every day for each inch. I'm not rich. I'm not famous. But I'm a steadily working writer, something I dreamed about. Actors act out my stories and say my words on big and little screens. My dream. Not without sacrifice.

            You want this? Don't give up. You've been there. You know it's a business and not Unicorntown. You're already ahead of the curve. Keep at it. It's never easy and the real rewards are few, but damn, they're fun when they come.

            You have the talent because you never would have gotten so close without it, now steel that psyche and push ahead. It's there.
            Last edited by EdFury; 08-22-2019, 10:00 AM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

              STEVE JOBS:

              Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

              Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

                Originally posted by Lahlowen View Post
                Well, it's one thing to have multiple interests, but being a "jack of all trades but master of none" is a tough thing. Kinda feels like you've done everything possible to chase success in entertainment in any way you can by throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall hoping something, anything sticks. As opposed to chasing a focused passion. Maybe the solution is taking some 'me time' and doing a deep dive to figure out where your real calling lies (i.e. what gets you the most excited, what you're best at, etc) and focusing entirely on that, and honing your skills within it... diving in fully and living 100% in that zone until you reach the level you aspire to be at.
                Jeez...NO!... I just said that is NOT the case. This story spans 20 years not all at the same time. I pass Malcom Gladwell's litmus test of 10,000 hours for each.

                Sometimes along the way you realize something isn't working so you shift gears.

                I fell into screenwriting. I didn't grow up wanting to be a screenwriter and that's okay.

                LET ME BE CLEAR: I DIDN'T DO ALL THESE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. Again, 20 years.
                Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

                  Originally posted by GucciGhostXXX View Post
                  Jeez...NO!... I just said that is NOT the case. This story spans 20 years not all at the same time. I pass Malcom Gladwell's litmus test of 10,000 hours for each.

                  Sometimes along the way you realize something isn't working so you shift gears.

                  I fell into screenwriting. I didn't grow up wanting to be a screenwriter and that's okay.

                  LET ME BE CLEAR: I DIDN'T DO ALL THESE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. Again, 20 years.
                  I saw what you wrote, but even still I was still just thinking that's a lot of different avenues to pursue... even for 20 years. If you break it down it seems like every couple years you'd pivot to an entirely different career or focus, which there's nothing wrong with unless you never figure out your role in business, life, etc. If you have by now, that's great. All good though either way, keep doing you. Hope things work out for ya!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

                    I think most creatives face some sort of self doubt at some point in their life. I know I do. Ok, maybe, not Dan Fogelman....he was hot stuff from the second he picked up the pen, but I'm speaking for the rest of us mortal people. I kind of beat myself all the time. I will reach a rung that I had put down as a goal that 6 months ago I said I would be happy with, but then when I get there, I obsess about not reaching that higher rung that was within reach. That 10 feet seems like a mile because I see those people that reached that rung getting the dreams that I wanted for myself.



                    Creatives are a special breed because they have to put themselves out there ("this is me") and face endless doors being slammed in their face or being told they're not good enough. But, they are also the people who can turn nothing into something. I think it's too late now. If you're a frequent member on this board, you've already gone too far....there's really no turning back.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

                      Originally posted by GucciGhostXXX View Post
                      Jeez...NO!... I just said that is NOT the case. This story spans 20 years not all at the same time. I pass Malcom Gladwell's litmus test of 10,000 hours for each.

                      Sometimes along the way you realize something isn't working so you shift gears.

                      I fell into screenwriting. I didn't grow up wanting to be a screenwriter and that's okay.

                      LET ME BE CLEAR: I DIDN'T DO ALL THESE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. Again, 20 years.
                      maybe look at it a different way. list out how much time you spent on EACH one alone?

                      you're clearly talented otherwise you wouldn't have the success you've had so far. modeling is a talent, too, right? i don't know if anything that i'm about to say applies, but...

                      maybe what you experience is the big let down AFTER the initial glowing reviews and immediate success that you soon get bored with what remains...

                      taking the time to focus and not give up, not switch to something else is challenging...

                      have you spent 10 years writing? have you spent 5 years being a manager?

                      maybe you're naturally interested and distracted by new things? that's not a bad thing, but it can cause problems if you don't realize that about yourself.

                      no, you may not have done each of these things at the same time, but some of them maybe? because you listed 8 things in 20 years which each alone would average 2.5 years. it takes the average writer a minimum of 10 years to break in, let alone try to sustain it once you arrive.

                      you are way ahead of the majority of people, so you have a choice-- stick with one for a while, or move onto the next one. but if you're changing your direction ever few years, you're never going to be satisfied. it's your life, do what makes you happy, but only AFTER you take an honest look at what you've achieved, how much time you've devoted and what you want.

                      i mean, everything i've ever read about screenwriting is that it is ALWAYS more rejection than success-- that's the reality.
                      "Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist,- Pablo Picasso

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

                        Originally posted by Lahlowen View Post
                        I saw what you wrote, but even still I was still just thinking that's a lot of different avenues to pursue... even for 20 years. If you break it down it seems like every couple years you'd pivot to an entirely different career or focus, which there's nothing wrong with unless you never figure out your role in business, life, etc. If you have by now, that's great. All good though either way, keep doing you. Hope things work out for ya!
                        No worries.

                        Some of it overlapped, for example: modeling/bands was simultaneous.

                        It would be more true to say I pivoted about every 7 years. The art I created while being repped as a writer.

                        But, I suppose I can understand why when presented the way I presented it APPEARS like I was constantly career hopping. Nope. Just one thing led to another. Like falling into screenwriting. I was at ICM for a film composer meeting. Epiphany DURING that meeting. 16 days later I had a script. That script got me signed by their competitor. Sh!t like that. If you would have told me before that meeting "You're gonna walk outta of your meeting wanting to write a script... and that script will get you signed at CAA." I would have told you you're FRIGGIN INSANE!

                        But, that's how some of my transitions have been. Life throws curve balls you never saw coming. And couldn't have prepared for. Although, I was unknowingly preparing for it by spending 10 years reading my ex's clients scripts (those kind of realizations after the fact).
                        Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

                          Originally posted by Hernan Giaggio View Post
                          I have a similar origin (definitely no modeling, though).

                          Started out in bands. Toured. Opened for some biggish bands. Couldn't keep it together.

                          Moved onto comics. Published some. Ran an indie studio. But never really broke through.

                          Did some fine art and other stuff.

                          And now screenwriting.

                          But I've finally learned my lesson this time. Looking at the bands that opened for us that would go on to be pretty huge (before flaming out), and other comic writers I started with who are now doing Spider-Man, the lesson is clear.

                          DON'T. GO. HOME.

                          When **** gets hard, and it feels so close and yet so far, when you're beaten down by rejections, and pushed calls, and low scores (or whatever), it can seem really tasty to quit. Get a divorce. Find someone else, younger.

                          But for me I know that this time I cannot quit no matter what.
                          Probably true!

                          And glad to see that someone else gets what I'm talking about.

                          Most of the writers I know do other sh!t as well. And are GOOD at pretty much everything they do.
                          Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

                            Originally posted by Bono View Post
                            The important thing GUCCI is you're good looking and they can't take that away from you!

                            My writing partner is more like you (except ugly). He wants to do like 6 to 98 things at once. And he tries to do those things. Stand Up. Acting. Directing. Writing. Producing. Reality Shows. Podcasts. Foodie Stuff. Music Reviews... anything and everything.

                            I wanted to focus 100% on writing. We had issues because things would come up and he'd talk about "can I act in our pilot" -- and stuff like that. And of course finding time to write together when he's off doing comedy on stage...

                            Ironically we stopped working together and I thought I'd get more done and yet I stopped writing and he wrote more than every himself. He hasnt' had success in that dept w/o me (scripts are good just saying).

                            But I guess part of misses his manic energy and zest for life. He's non stop commitment to being an artist. Like you Gucci. That means something. You do have to be a crazy person to live this life, don't you? And to know what you want and not make it kills a soul. I get it. So part of the artist says, well if I can't get my first choice of career, let me get my backup career or my 4th backup. But deep down inside probbaly something you love the most. Let's say it's making movies. For me its' writing movies. I always dreamed of writing/directing my own movie, but now I don't know if I can do it. Or ever could.

                            I honestly don't know how you're supposed to talk to actors. Im sure I can figure it out as I can talk to anyone, but it just sounds like a great way for people to hate you. I like making the decisions and being in charge, but I also don't have the confidence, so I guess I will never reach that dream. My writing partner is unafraid. I guess I'm drawn to that safety net...

                            Maybe you should write/direct your own movie. Put all your skills together. Act. Write. Direct. Produce. Set Design. Composer. Sell. Push. Market.

                            That's exactly what I'm pondering. I've invested a fukk ton of blood, sweat and tears into the arts. Maybe I just need to combine it all.

                            Random: I had a director pass on a script a few months ago and I'm thinking "Dude... what???... fo realz, my script fukks yours up. Why am I letting these people decide for me what gets made and what doesn't." It was one of those times I was CERTAIN this was in the director's wheelhouse. NOPE!
                            Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

                              Originally posted by EdFury View Post
                              The pursuit of anything entertainment based is never what anyone thinks it will be. Why? This is my opinion only, but all most people see when they indulge in it is the end product. People watch TV and films. People listen to music and read books. People look at beautiful people walking down runways or in fashion ads and never once think about the incredibly hard work it took to make any of that happen successfully. How hard it is to sustain. Then some of them think.... I can do that. I'll do that and become rich, too. I'm not saying this is you... I'm talking in general. I call these people the Rainbow Unicorn Yellow Brick Road Brigade.

                              The ones who write one script in two weeks then expect to get it to Speilberg. Or sell their TV Show idea because that's how it works, right? Never a thought to the dedicated dehumanizing psychologically bone crushing obstacle course 99.9% of people successful in these endeavors took. They just saw the end product and thought it magically appeared showering money and fame on all involved.

                              They have no idea what these successful people had to do to get there. The people who succeeded because they were open to really learning, hungry for real knowledge about how these BUSINESSES, these industries, work. These people were unafraid of what they found out even though it's scary as ****. They accepted the challenge and were single minded in their journey to success. And they did the hard work, rejected the rejections, and never gave up, even though for almost all of them it took years. Some of them a decade or more.

                              I didn't have my first produced film until 15 years after I wrote my first script. Hundreds of rejections from every arena of this business. Doors I couldn't get through. Rooms I couldn't get in. But if you want this, you don't give up. You learn from each failure. Now... I have 15 produced films and you know what? I still have to fight every day for each inch. I'm not rich. I'm not famous. But I'm a steadily working writer, something I dreamed about. Actors act out my stories and say my words on big and little screens. My dream. Not without sacrifice.

                              You want this? Don't give up. You've been there. You know it's a business and not Unicorntown. You're already ahead of the curve. Keep at it. It's never easy and the real rewards are few, but damn, they're fun when they come.

                              You have the talent because you never would have gotten so close without it, now steel that psyche and push ahead. It's there.
                              Thanks! I needed this right now, because I'm obviously feeling down and defeated.

                              EXACTLY THAT! I'm not one of those 'Rainbow Unicorn Yellow Brick Road Brigade' folks. The first time I realized the industry doesn't work that way was when I was 21? Lost a huge job. From then on I knew how brutal the lifestyle would be. I COMPLETELY GET IT. Also, being married to an agent (and tracking/help manage/strategize their career) for 15 years helps a FUKK TON to understand how this business operates.

                              We were little kids when the journey began. She got a job at a BIG4 as a receptionist, the lowest job you could have there above a valet (nothing against valets, they're hard working folks). We didn't even know what that meant, and it was through a temp agency. We didn't know what an agency really was or what they did. Then she goes to full time receptionist. We're like GREAT! then get's moved out of the dungeon into a little box. GREAT! Moving up. Then to a assistant. WOW! AMAZING! Now we're both kinda GETTING IT, the industry. We're like "man, look at those fancy agents, I can't imagine being in that crowd." Then... finally... promoted to jr agent. HOLY ****!. Then picking up slack for for mid-level agents. Then finally being ALloWED to sign own clients. CUT TO: 15 years later and a hell of a lot of strategy and struggle WE ARE THOSE PEOPLE. We're at the partner's cocktail party, 20 people. Hit films under belt.

                              I know it wasn't ME doing it. But behind the scenes I was doing a lot of heavy lifting, constant convos about how to strategize. We were hand in hand for the rise. She heavily relied on me for advice.

                              Then ultimately we sold a hit movie together 15 years later. I FUKKING GET how brutal the journey is. And this is aside from my own sh!t I was doing.

                              POINT: That's the hardest part, not allowing the brutality of this industry to suck your soul dry.

                              TRIVIA: Speaking of Speilberg. My ex's dad was a kid "actor" in his very first movie. I'm talking Speilberg's very first film, the one he made as a kid that's B&W shot on 8mil (or whatever). Where the kids are throwing dirt in the air to act as explosions, that flick. Speilberg was what, 10 when he made it?
                              Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                              Comment

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