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There's no excuse for this. Not when you have the comics and animation to work from. Go see it, if only to wonder HOW they could screw this up so badly.
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
Much as expected.Joan: What does the "T" stand for?
Jack: Trustworthy. -
Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
Shame. I've always been something of a fan of James Wong.Frosties are just Cornflakes for people who can't face reality.Comment
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
I mean...I'm just....ok. Here's a review i was writing out of anger. didnt finish it...but it shows my contempt for this pos
I just got out of a Midnight screening of DB Evolution.
Did you ever see those old WW2 photos of Hiroshima survivors wandering the streets after the explosion? The only time I've ever seen it in real life was after my first viewing of PHANTOM MENACE. Hundreds of dazed fanboys, lumbering aimlessly, replaying the film in their minds, trying to convince themselves it was actually good. In the old days they called it shellshock.
I thought I'd never see that expression again. But tonight, I was the one wearing it. But I wasn't trying to convince myself it was good. I was pondering mankind's future, our place in this world, God, heaven, hell, and how...just how...could a Hollywood production screw up this bad. How God, how? It's worse than Plan Nine from Outer Space.
Get the **** outta my face you say? I'm serious here. These people had a budget. They had source material. Millions of fans. A whole ****load of manga ( I prefer the term comic book ) and about 4-500 episodes of three distinct anime ( I preferthe term cartoons ) There's no excuse for when you have at the very least a modest budget. You can at least afford to hire a talented director. Or, in this case, an editor who doesn't suffer from ADD. This film moved so fast you couldn't tell what the **** was happening. They told a backstory about how Piccolo, the villain, was imprisoned within the Earth. And then they did it AGAIN while the characters were
sitting at the bottom of a pit.
The film opens with a cg tear which dangles off the tip of Goku's nose. Ew. Thanks movie. We're not even one minute into it and this is how they choose to introduce GOKU? It set the tone for many other awful details such as...
Yamcha. Sounds like the kid from Good Burger crossed with any of the meth addicts on A& E Intervention
Bulma. Hot, but really unlikeable.
Piccolo has no antennae. Sorry, I know some people think antennae look silly but goddamit I wanted him to have them. No such luck.
Goku. Looks the part, but is completely drab and expressionless, until he gets angry, and then he really overdoes it.
CARTOON SOUND EFFECTS! Well, at least, that;s what they had for the first few minutes. Then they stopped. It's almost as if they couldn't decide which direction to go. ( To be cool, or to be tongue-in-cheek.)
The fight, which the whole movie was supposedly building up to, lasted for about five very rushed minutes. Half that time we had to watch Bulma run around a bunchof rocks. Ugh.
The dialogue. Oh God the dialogue. Cheesy, and not in a good way. The effects looked unfinished. Poorly designed.
Goku turned into an Oozaru ( giant monkey! ) Only in this travesty that "giant monkey" is human sized. Less threatening than that cancer-ridden silverback at the zoo who likes to puke up his food, suck it back in, and puke it back up again.
The only redeeming factor was continuous snickering every time a character mentioned "dragonballs". Particularly the line "We now have grasp of the Dragonballs" or something. I'd remember the line better if I wasn't so preoccupied with the vast amounts of suck projected on that screen.
I hate this re-imagining crap. I want it to stop. I want...the heads of whatever soulless **** responsible to be forced to carry a burning cross down Wilshire Blvd and then be thrown into the LaBrea tar pits. And you know what's the worst part about this? I'm not even that big a DB fan! Compared to other people anyway. I really do feel sorry for fans of the comic, because this is gonna give it a very
bad name.Comment
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
I assumed the film would be an hour and a half long fight sequence with people occasionally stopping to say how high someones "power levels" are.Comment
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
No! If they had done that it would have been faithful to the comic!Comment
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
You could tell by looking at the poster that it was going to be sh*t. Not surprised at all. Dragonball is too cartoonish to make into a live-action movie. Same with Street Fighter. That's going to be awful as well for the same reason.Comment
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
I apologize to any anime fans out there but cartoons like this look SO ridiculous, you seriously couldn't pay me to watch the cartoon- let alone this movie. Maybe I just don't get anime, but it (in particular Dragon Ball) is just horrible and pointless. The idea that you could turn a weird manga cartoon (that people either passionately love or passionately hate) and turn it into a franchise for everyone is beyond insane.
This isn't Star Trek, there are no neutral parties. You love this type of stuff or hate it.
Again, apologies- but stuff like this is not made for the masses. Let alone the people who like a good movie...Comment
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
What the hell did you expect?Dragonball Evolution is beyond awfulComment
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
Oh I expected it to be bad. I kinda wanted to see how bad. I just...didn't expect it to be so monumentally dreadful. This could be one of those "bad movie night" kinds of films we'll be chuckling at in 10 years.
I like Dragonball ( the comics ) I'm an animator, so of course I appreciate the comic and the cartoons ( even though they are really long and yes, feature "powering up" scenes that go on for hours. I once did a school project where i edited the entire DBZ series into a 15 minute fight scene by cutting out all the talking and powering up scenes)
I just thought...with 20th Century Fox and a big budget backing it, this film would at the very least be passable. It's not even that.Comment
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
Beyond awful?
DRAGONBALL : EVOLUTION was all the talk at the water cooler.
But I could be wrong.
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Re: Dragonball Evolution is beyond awful
I truly crossed a line Saturday by going to see this horrible piece of crap. I mean, it was just terrible. Was it any terrible than say, Super Mario Bros? There's a case to be made. And I know Super Mario was based on the video game and Dragonball is based on the comics and cartoons. There was only 7 people in the theater, including myself.
One has to wonder what would possess Emmy Rossum to participate in this?Comment
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