The M

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  • The M

    "THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE MONOGAMOUS DUCK"

    This one became increasingly irritating as it went on. If you like such trivial things as "plot" in your scripts then skip this puppy. Cause it has no plot - and I mean none. The story follows a 27 year old named Grady who lost his girlfriend 4 years ago and has never really recovered since. He's a semi-genius (though he hates that word) who's also a coke-addict. Grady likes to talk. A lot. And he, along with the author (who you begin to realize are the same person) take pride in their eccentric observations of the world. What begins as a collection of pretty cool takes, transforms into a jumble of pretentious bullsh*t. Here's an example of some of the dialogue, just so you know what you're in for.

    MAN
    You might want to think about taking a chance on life, Mr. Herman.

    GRADY
    Oh yeah, and if I don't?

    MAN
    If you don't, life might decide to take its chances with you.

    Barf! In all fairness, that's one of the crappier lines in the script. Sometimes the dialogue can be quite mesmerizing. But it doesn't matter, because the story unapologetically goes nowhere. Grady goes back to an old family he used to be friends with and we follow the lives of all the family members as he helps them and they help him (but not really). The greatest thing about this script not having a plot is that I could skip huge chunks of itand not miss a thing. As I neared the end, I begin to think that the script was written by the real life equivalent of Grady, and that he reveled in the idea of writing something with no purpose. Imagine how (not) surprised I was when reading the ending....

    GRADY
    Oh, no. I wanna write a book. I
    literally just started a few days
    ago, so...maybe in a couple years.

    OLD MAN
    What’s it gonna be about?

    GRADY
    I dunno. Love, death...life.
    (beat)
    I was thinking about calling it
    The Amazing Adventures of the
    Heterosexual Makeup Artist.

    OLD MAN
    The Amazing Adventures...

    GRADY
    The Amazing Adventures of the
    Heterosexual Makeup Artist. Maybe
    about like a twenty-something who’s
    a makeup artist, and all his little
    dating adventures with girls.

    OLD MAN
    Art imitating life, is it?

    GRADY
    Nah. And it’s just one idea. I
    don’t know what I’ll write about or
    what to call it, but those things
    tend to sort themselves out.

    OLD MAN
    Well good luck.

    GRADY
    (long beat, wry smile)
    I don’t need it.

    FADE OUT.

    THE END

    Wow, life imitating art imitating life imitating a complete waste of my time.
    Script Reviews - 5 a week! http://scriptshadow.blogspot.com/

  • #2
    Re: The M

    Wilson:

    A piece of advice.

    We are all entitled to our own opinions...

    But I advise you to be very careful of what you print/post because you never know who is reading DD. This is important because the internet is not as anonymous as you might think and this business is built around... You know... Relationships?
    Positive outcomes. Only.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: The M

      Very true. But my name isn't in my signature. The beauty of anonymity.

      Also, it might be good for people to hear an honest opinion every once in awhile. Once you write something that sells, all you hear is how great you are. Honesty goes out the window. Trust me, the ones I really hate I'm not even writing reviews on. At least this one got me to give 10 minutes of my time to write something up.
      Script Reviews - 5 a week! http://scriptshadow.blogspot.com/

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: The M

        Originally posted by WritersBlock2010 View Post
        Wilson:

        A piece of advice.

        We are all entitled to our own opinions...

        But I advise you to be very careful of what you print/post because you never know who is reading DD. This is important because the internet is not as anonymous as you might think and this business is built around... You know... Relationships?
        Are you serious? how is anyone supposed to know who he is?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: The M

          Code:
                      GRADY
          A'right. First of all, I wouldn't
          have had any gambling issues if
          this guy on the Indians, Russell
          Branyan? If Russell knew how to
          make contact with any incarnation
          of an off-speed pitch, gambling
          woulda never been a problem. Or,
          if ****ing Jeremy Giambi figured
          out that it might be a good idea to
          maybe slide at some point in his
          career. ****in' Victor Conte
          forgot to put that one in the BALCO
          instruction manual.
          
          Shameless, Darla shelves bananas among soda, milk among pasta.
          
                       DARLA
          I didn't understand any of that.
          
                       GRADY
          It was for my own amusement. I
          just wanted to hear myself say it.
          The script in a nutshell.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: The M

            Oooh man. Harsh. Sinny, you live up to your username. But aren't you afraid of career suicide?
            Script Reviews - 5 a week! http://scriptshadow.blogspot.com/

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: The M

              Originally posted by WritersBlock2010 View Post
              But I advise you to be very careful of what you print/post because you never know who is reading DD. This is important because the internet is not as anonymous as you might think and this business is built around... You know... Relationships?
              Ah ha. My question: who would want a relationship of any kind with a writer or producer who's so thin-skinned that they would actively seek to unmask, for nefarious purposes, a person who posted a negative critique of their script on an Internet message board?

              Because I can guarantee you this right now: anyone that petty and pathetic isn't (and likely never will be) successful enough to care about, and on the small chance they are, they've got better things to do than read the DD Forums.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: The M

                All I am saying is you never know who(m) is reading.

                I was merely trying to pass along some wisdom I've obtained through the years that might help those wanting to be professionals instead of shooting themselves in the foot. Things have a way of coming back to hurt people in ways they don't even know. That's all I am trying to convey.

                Take it for what it is: Free advice. You (persons in general) can either ignore it, or at least consider it.
                Positive outcomes. Only.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: The M

                  Originally posted by WritersBlock2010 View Post
                  I advise you to be very careful of what you print/post because you never know who is reading DD...
                  Also, isn't Wilson injecting a little life into the forums (not that this isn't already a lively place)? I might not agree with all his reviews (not really on-board with his take on "A Thousand Words"). But honestly, he's not spouting a drone-like sycophancy. Quite the opposite, and that's very cool.

                  Also agree with Goose, are any decision-makers really scanning these threads? I mean, c'mon.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: The M

                    That's what I do! I give back to the people!

                    But seriously, my whole thing is that I don't know any other place on the internet where these scripts are being reviewed. And this is something *I* would want to see if I wasn't reviewing them. So instead of just reading them and moving on, I write a little something up.

                    It is just my opinion. And if we're being honest, the genres I love are comedy and sci-fi. So if the script is outside of those genres, it's got an uphill battle with me. Keep that in mind when I don't like something.
                    Script Reviews - 5 a week! http://scriptshadow.blogspot.com/

                    Comment

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