Weekend Post

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  • Weekend Post



    **********

    OTTO

    It is crammed with excited NUCLEAR POWER PLANT EMPLOYEES AND THEIR FAMILIES, all with hats, pennants, thermoses, flasks, gloves, etc. THE SIMPSONS are jammed into two rows. Everyone starts to disembark.

    ON THE SIMPSONS

    As they cross with other fans to the front gate. BART has a mitt, LISA a transistor radio; MAGGIE wears a little baseball cap and uniform jumper. They pass souvenir stands and PROGRAM VENDORS. All the EMPLOYEES who work at the ball park are rundown and toothless.

    HOMER
    You know, boy, some of the players you see tonight may make it to the big leagues, one day.

    BARTHOMER
    Sure, we get a nice mix here.

    LISAHOMERMARGEHOMER
    (DEFENSIVE) What are you getting at?

    MARGE
    Well, last year you got a little rambunctious and mooned the poor umpire.

    HOMERENTRANCE TO STADIUMBURNS
    Ah, the Gammills. Good to see you.

    GAMMILLBURNS
    (CHUCKLES) Well, take your mind off contaminates for one night and have a hot dog. (LAUGHS)

    Gammill and his brood kow tow and move on.

    BURNS
    (TO SMITHERS) Put a little smile on his card, Smithers.

    SMITHERSSMITHERS
    The Simpsons, sir.

    BURNSHOMERBURNSSMITHER
    (SOTTO) The card needs to be updated, sir.

    Burns grumbles.

    HOMERBURNS
    Very well. (CHUCKLES) Take your mind off contaminates for one night and have a hot dog. (LAUGHS)

    The Simpsons enter the park.

    BARTBART
    Hey, Flash! Will ya sign my ball?

    FLASH
    No.

    Bart rejoins the family.

    BARTHOMERBARTMARGEPLAYER #1
    Hey, Flash, check out the mature quail heading this way.

    FLASH
    Hey there, little lady. What can Flash do for ya?



    Marge rejoins the family, holding the ball.

    MARGE
    Here you go, Bart.

    She hands the ball to Bart.

    BARTHOMERMARGE
    (SMALL GIGGLE)

    HOMER
    (TO LISA) What are you doing?

    LISA
    Trying to get Maggie on the JumboVision.



    We see that HUNDREDS OF BABIES are being held up.

    BART
    (POINTING) Hey, Dad, look!

    Homer glances up.

    HOMER
    Whoa!

    ON JUMBOVISION BOARD

    Homer fills the screen. He stands up and waves with both hands.

    HOMERMARGEHOMER
    Examine my zipper? Why? (HOMER LOOKS DOWN) Whoops!

    Homer, still on the screen, turns away, zips up his fly and receives a nice OVATION from the crowd.

    P.A. ANNOUNCER (V.O.)SMITHERS
    Ah, they love you, sir.

    BURNSSMITHERS
    One hocker coming up, sir.

    Burns rocks into his wind-up.

    ON THE SIMPSONS

    Who are heckling Burns from their very safe distance.

    HOMERBART
    You throw like my sister, man!

    LISA
    Yeah, you throw like me!

    They LAUGH conspiratorially.

    BACK TO BURNS

    He wheels and deals. He loses his balance and the ball goes maybe six feet before trickling to a stop.

    SMITHERS
    I think I could actually hear the air being torn, sir.

    BURNS
    Oh, shut up.

    Homer and Bart are roaring with LAUGHTER. They can barely contain themselves.

    BART
    What a lame-o!

    P.A. ANNOUNCER (V.O.)P.A. ANNOUNCER (V.O.)BLEEDING GUMSDISSOVLE TO:

    EXT. BALL PARK - NIGHT

    Bleeding Gums is still singing. The clock on the scoreboard now reads 7:46.

    BLEEDING GUMSBLEEDING GUMSINT. PRESS BOX - CONTINUOUS

    DAN HOARD, wearing a loud multi-colored jacket, is at the mike.

    DAN HOARD

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